COMMANDER VANTAS
@carcinoGeneticist
COMMANDER KARKAT VANTAS. THIS IS FOR COMMUNICATION PURPOSES. DON'T COMMENT, DM, OR OTHERWISE INTERACT IF YOU'RE GOING TO SAY STUPID SHIT.
GENERALLY I THINK THE IDEA OF ME HAVING A BADGE SPECIFICALLY IS STUPID. I'M NEVER ON HERE. I DON'T HAVE THE CHITTR CLOUT TO BE BRANDISHING MYSELF WITH A SILLY LITTLE PICTURE AND ACTING LIKE I'M PART OF THE CREW. THAT BEING SAID. THIS ONE WAS LITERALLY MADE FOR THE KARKAT FRONT. SO I'LL MAKE AN EXCEPTION.
/y u got a bu𝐋bpatch ovr jus 1 whn 𝐋owk the other is fucced up too 𝐋o𝐋 bro is cooked
I WAS ABOUT TO GRANT YOU A SERIOUS ANSWER BECAUSE YOU SEEM LIKE SOMEONE WHO NEEDS IT, BUT THEN I SAW THE WHOLE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS THING AND REALIZED I'M OUT OF MY DEPTH. I'VE GOT ONE CHUD TEARING HOLES IN MY PAN ALREADY. SO YEAH. SURE. I HAVE AN EYEPATCH OVER ONE EYE AND THE OTHER ONE IS FUCKED UP TOO.
ngl babe u dont need 2 be part of anythin to have a badge but still i think its cute that u have a crab badge now
THANK YOU.
Junior found a badge for grumpy Chittrers! It looks like the crabby and frustrated masses will have some trinket representation... /\ ( / @ @ () \\ __| |__ / \/ " \/ /-| |-\ / /-\ /-\ \ / /-`---'-\ \ / \
YEAH. I'LL TAKE IT.
@carcinoGeneticist#2183 is this what i look like on the reg i mean ik timothy is a dude but damn if thats the case i see why u keep me around if i act this fuckin cute 2
THIS IS EXACTLY HOW YOU LOOK, YEAH. MINUS THE HAIR COLOR, OUTFIT, NAME, AND GENERAL FLAMBOYANT TWINKINESS. THE VIBE IS THERE.
now that i think about it i don'T think the website would be able to handle a SECOND phuntr guynax. i'M sure they'RE all out there trying to log in or register and the website is legit just preventing them from getting in.
I GOT A PHUNTR.
what'S he like? does he have that shit on?
HE UNEQUIVOCALLY DOESN'T HAVE THAT SHIT ON. IT'S ACTUALLY EMBARRASSING. I'VE SEEN PEOPLE CROSS THE STREET WHEN THEY SEE HIM WALKING IN THEIR GENERAL DIRECTION.
tell me every thought you have had about me ever right now
I PROMISE YOU, YOU DON'T WANT ME TO DO THAT.
YEAH. THE THING EVERY LITTLE KARKAT DREAMS ABOUT WHILE HES TUCKED SNUG AS A BUG IN THE SLIME IS CHECKING HIS PHONE AND SEEING ONE MILLION OTHER VERSIONS OF HIMSELF POSTING STRAIGHT BULLSHIT ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
AWW ❤️ SO CUTE! ❤️❤️❤️ MY SUICIDAL INSTINCTS ❤️❤️❤️❤️ ( #cw-self-harm ? ithink )
B33 < what about the various fursions of dave teasing them in their replies h33h33
REMEMBER WHEN I SAID STRAIGHT BULLSHIT. THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.
WHATEVER. THEY HAVE THEIR VICES. I HAVE BIGGER FISH TO FRY.
:33 < karkitty hours? :33 < sw33t :33 < hello karkittys
HI.
apparently i get 2 wear more green anyway what should i wear to the felt mansion grand openin
THE SECOND ONE IS BETTER. GET THE NECESSARY GREEN AND SHAKE UP THE AWFUL COLOR PALETTE OF THAT PLACE WITH A LITTLE PINK.
:33 < fur :00 < karkittyday :33 < i am giving efurry karkitty purriant or pawtherwise :33 < one fr33 card to say nyo to me and i'll leave mew alone nyo questions asked
THANKS.
happy birthday or wrigglin day 2 all the karkats but special shout out 2 my matesprit tho i can't ping him bc it wont let me anyway love u babe
HOLY FUCK, THAT'S TODAY? I HAVEN'T CELEBRATED THAT SINCE I WAS LIKE EIGHTEEN OR SOMETHING. THANKS THOUGH. I LOVE YOU TOO. I'LL SEE IF I CAN TAKE A FEW HOURS OFF AND WE'LL DO SOMETHING TOGETHER.
Hello, Aradym. I love you. Will you marry me? @imperialistHalcyonite
HELLO? GREEDY MUCH?
wyd when our gang pull up?? 😈😈‼‼ h☭☭ps://file.garden/zvzdv8pdjfn☭iih☭/gang.png
WHAT THE FUCK? I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS. I'M NOT IN YOUR GANG. I'M NOT PULLING UP.
THE MIX-MATCH OF WACKY CHARACTERS FROM ACROSS TIME AND SPACE ON HERE MAKES MY HEAD SPIN SOMETIMES. NOT YOU REGULAR TROLLS. YOU'RE JUST TROLLS FROM TIMELINES WHERE ALTERNIA AND BEFORUS STILL EXISTS - SUCKS FOR YOU, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. PROBLEM SLEUTH? ANCESTORS? *BEFORAN* ANCESTORS, WHO IF MY ECTOBIOLOGICAL CHOPS AREN'T TOO DUSTED OVER TO FORGET ABOUT, SHOULD BE JUST FUCKED UP VERSIONS OF ME AND MY FRIENDS? I'VE ALREADY HAD THE CONDESCE RUN HER BIT THROUGH ME SO THAT ISN'T SURPRISING. BUT I'M KIND OF LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING WHO *WILL* SURPRISE ME. COME ON. SHOW ME A CRAZY ONE. HAVE SOMEONE POP UP ON MY CHITTR DASHBOARD THAT TAKES THE SOCKS OUT OF MY DRAWER, PUTS THEM ON, AND BLOWS THEM RIGHT BACK OFF.
hi dad! 8P
WHAT?
lmao you guys are always so shocked!! XD your matesprits made an ectobaby, which makes you a dad too! yeah apparently when i was a wiggler you were like ABSOLUTELY NOT, but then paternal instincts hit, so now you're my crabdad! (to distinguish you from dad dad)
...WHAT???
SIGH....... ok i will spell it out! 8P you and dave strider and jade harley are all together, right? with me so far? rosemary and callieroxy both have kids, so your matesprits are like, "damn, let's give it a try!" you're part of the discussion, obviously, and apparently you say something like "YOU TWO CAN MAKE YOUR WEIRD OVERSATURATED MONKEY IF YOU WANT BUT I WON'T BE A PART OF ITS 'PARENTAGE.' YOU MIGHT AS WELL SHOOT IT IN ITS TINY ADORABLE FULLY-FORMED NON-INSECTOID FOOT AND THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE BETTER FOR ITS DEVELOPMENT THAN LETTING ME BE ITS ILL-ADVISED ROLE MODEL," or some such self-deprecating crap. but then i pop out the ectobiology chamber looking cute as a goddamn button, and by the time i'm saying sentences you've been "crabdad" for weeks, and suddenly you're chill with it!! that's the story anyway, might be some details they leave out. 8J
kay bc it seems you dont understand the situation urself im gonna spell it out 2 u rn as cool as ecto biology is an its great that in ur TIMELINE that hes also ur ig biological dad but that doesnt mean u have to go on random fuckin commander karkats profiles n call them dad the last person who fucked up was that one i think her name was 'yiffy' or 'red' idk she fucked up which jade was her mom but at least she fixed that an did not outright be weird about it so with all fuckin respect leave this man alone
...OKAY, AS MUCH AS I APPRECIATE THE ASSIST, I DON'T NEED YOU TO COME IN AND PLAY DEFENSE FOR ME. THANKS BUT I'VE GOT THIS.
OKAY. BUT THAT ISN'T MY TIMELINE. I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND I DON'T NEED TO HEAR ABOUT SOME FUCKED UP WORLD WHERE DAVE AND JADE DIDN'T ROYALLY FUCK ME OVER. I'M SERIOUSLY HAPPY FOR YOU THAT THAT'S YOUR LIFE AND GOOD ON THAT KARKAT FOR BEING THERE, BUT DON'T CALL ME DAD OR CRABDAD OR WHATEVER. DIFFERENT TIMELINE.
ok yeah fair enough i just saw the chit and was like "oh i'm gonna shock this guy!" i wouldn't actually just keep calling you dad past that, that'd be weird.
THANKS. I APPRECIATE IT. AND SERIOUSLY, ENJOY THE LOT IN LIFE YOU GOT.