COMMANDER VANTAS
@carcinoGeneticist
COMMANDER KARKAT VANTAS. THIS IS FOR COMMUNICATION PURPOSES. DON'T COMMENT, DM, OR OTHERWISE INTERACT IF YOU'RE GOING TO SAY STUPID SHIT.
THERE'S AN ATTACK ON A HIVEBASE OUT WEST. COMMANDER PEIXES DEPLOYED THE LOBsTERs. I'LL BE JOINING THEM SOON. IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE ON CHITTR AND IN THIS UNIVERSE IN THE NEW OLD YORK AREA, CLEAR THE WAY FOR THE CONSORT WITH THE EYEPATCH. HE'S A FREAK OF NATURE.
SHORE WHAT? SHORE THE BATTERWITCH IS LAUNCHING AN ATTACK ON A HIVEBASE? OR SURE THE CONSORT IS A FREAK OF NATURE? I DON'T THINK A FEFERI FROM SOME NARRATIVELY BACKLOGGED TIMELINE HAS ANY PLACE TO DOUBT EITHER OF THOSE THINGS.
THEN WHY DID YOU EVEN COMMENT THAT? YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
Oh, goodness gracious. Swifer Eggmop, reportin' for clean-up duty, commander!
GREAT. ANGELS' NUTRITIONBLOCK IS ON. I CAN'T WAIT TO SIT DOWN AND WASTE THE PRECIOUS FEW HOURS OF DAYLIGHT LEFT HERE WATCHING A BUNCH OF TROGLODYTES FLOUNDER AROUND A KITCHEN TRYING TO IMPRESS ONE SINGLE GUY AND HIS EXTREMELY SPECIFIC PALATE. IF THAT SOUNDED SARCASTIC, IT WASN'T. I AM WATCHING IT.
IS IT ANY GOOD? I WAS THINKING OF WATCHING IT BUT DIDN'T THINK I WOULD LIKE IT.
OF COURSE NOT. WHY WOULD IT BE? IT'S TRASHY REALITY TELEVISION. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD. IT'S JUST SUPPOSED TO OCCUPY YOUR MIND FOR AN HOUR. BUT SINCE THAT'S THE GOAL, YEAH. IT'S GOOD.
HUH. MAYBE WHEN I’M REALLY BORED I’LL WATCH AN EPISODE OR SOMETHING. IT’S EITHER THAT OR ANOTHER EPISODE OF SOME COOKING/RECIPE SHOW JOHN FOUND.
DON'T I FEEL GASLIT NOW.
EITHER MY ONE GOOD EYE DECEIVES ME OR TROLL KARL MARX *DIDN'T* FOLLOW ME FIRST. OR HE UNFOLLOWED TO GASLIGHT ME, WHICH IS WHAT THIS POST IS TALKING ABOUT.
I'M NOT ACTUALLY. IT WAS JUST RIDICULOUS TO SEE "TROLL KARL MARX" IN MY NOTIFICATIONS BEFORE ANYONE ELSE ON THIS ENTIRE SITE.
YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME MORE THAN TWENTY MINUTES. I JUST GOT HERE. I'LL POST ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE WHEN SOMEONE ELSE IS NOTABLE ENOUGH FOR ME TO PUT FINGERS TO KEYS AND LET EVERYONE KNOW THEY'RE ON MY MIND. TROLL KARL MARX SURPRISED ME, I'M OVER IT.
BEING CANDID WITH YOU HERE, I'M PRETTY SURE I MISREAD THE FIRST NOTIFICATION. I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND KEEP UP MY SIDE OF THIS POTENTIAL ARGUMENT WHEN I ALREADY KNOW I'M PROBABLY WRONG.
THANKS FOR BEING MY FIRST FOLLOWER I GUESS, TROLL KARL MARX. I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD TAKE THAT AS A GOOD SIGN OR NOT.
"GOOD" EVENING. THIS ACCOUNT EXISTS SOLELY TO ACT AS A CORRESPONDENCE POINT BETWEEN MYSELF AND MY FELLOW COMMANDERS. I SHOULD REASONABLY NOT EVEN BOTHER MAKING A SINGLE "CHIT" (STUPID FUCKING TERM) BUT I FIGURE IT'S BEST TO BE OPEN AND CANDID ABOUT WHO AND WHAT I AM FOR THE SAKE OF TRANSPARENCY. MY NAME IS COMMANDER KARKAT VANTAS. LEADER OF THE REVOLUTIONARY ARMY FIGHTING FOR THE RIGHTS AND LIBERTIES OF TROLLKIND ON EARTH C. BEFORE YOU COME TO ME WITH ANY OF THAT "BUT THAT'S NOT HAPPENING ON MY EARTH" OR "I'M ON ALTERNIA" OR "I'M ON BEFORUS" OR WHATEVER OTHER CONJUCTION OF SPACE-TIME THIS SITE IS SOMEHOW ABLE TO BREACH SHIT, I KNOW. I KNOW HOW IT WORKS. TRUST ME. I'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK. THOSE OF YOU FROM *MY* PARTICULAR CONJUCTION, THIS ACCOUNT IS FOR YOU. THE REST OF YOU? THIS ACCOUNT IS ONE OF MANY FACELESS ALTERNATE ACCOUNTS FROM ONE OF MANY ALTERNATE VERSIONS OF THE SAME SELF-LOATHING, EXHAUSTED PIECE OF SHIT YOU KNOW AND LOVE/HATE. DISREGARD IT AS YOU PLEASE. I'M SURE THE KARKAT VANTAS MARKET IS ALREADY OVERFLOWING ON HERE. IF YOU'RE FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE AND HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT ALL OF THAT I JUST SAID, FEEL FREE WALTZ RIGHT UP AND ASK. I'M A GOD DAMN LIVING LIBRARY FULL OF CAUTIONARY TALES THAT YOU'RE GONNA WANNA HEAR. THANKS. COMMANDER V
HI. I'M HONESTLY SURPRISED ALMOST EVERY INTERACTION I'VE HAD ON HERE SO FAR HAS BEEN SOME LEVEL OF NORMAL. THANKS FOR JUST SAYING HI. I APPRECIATE IT.
4S 4DOR4BL3 4S 1T 1S TH4T YOU 4R3 TH1S 4WKW4RD 1N GR33T1NG 4NYON3 FROM YOUR GR1ZZL3D B4CKSTORY 1 WOULD 1M4G1N3 TH4T B4CK 4ND FORTH COMMUN1C4T1ON ON H3R3 WOULD B3 CONS1D3R3D V1OL4T1NG YOUR STUP1D RUL3S, WOULD 1T NOT? >:]
DISREGARDING THE ASININE USAGE OF 'GRIZZLED' HERE, NO. BACK AND FORTH COMMUNICATION DOESN'T VIOLATE ANY OF MY LEGITIMATE AND UNDERSTANDABLE RULES, SO LONG AS THE BACK AND FORTH COMMUNICATION ISN'T ABOUT SOMETHING STUPID.
WH4T WOULD CONST1TUT3 4S 'NOT STUP1D'? LONG W1ND3D R3V13WS OF C1N3M4 YOU FOUND LY1NG 4ROUND 4ND DUST3D TH3 B4CH3LOR 3NCRUST3D L4Y3R OF CH33S3 PRODUCT ON 1TS OUT3R C4S1NG? H3H3H3
I WOULD *LOVE* IF PEOPLE ON HERE WERE TYPING MULTI-PARAGRAPH CINEMA REVIEWS LIKE EVERYONE'S FALLEN INTO A MASS LETTERBOXD HYSTERIA. I WOULD EVEN *LOVE* TO DUST THE CHEESE PRODUCT OFF THE OUTER CASING OF MY OWN EXTENSIVE REVIEWS AND TYPE THEM VERBATIM ONTO HERE, WORD FOR WORD AND STRAIGHT FROM THE MIND OF A SIX SWEEP OLD BRAT. EITHER OF THOSE THINGS WOULD BE BETTER THAN BEING ACCOSTED BY THE ENDLESS STREAM OF NONSENSE I KEEP SEEING ON HERE.
SO TH1S 1S JUST 4 R3GUL4R SOC14L M3D14 P4G3 FOR YOURS3LF TH3N, DUMMY 1 DONT KNOW WHY YOU 4R3 SO DR4M4T1C 4BOUT 3V3RYTH1NG
YOU KNOW WHAT, TEREZI? I'M SO RELIEVED TO SEE ANY VERSION OF YOU THAT I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO COUNTER THAT WITH A LEGITIMATE ARGUMENT. YOU CAN THANK ME FOR NOT BLOWING YOUR SOCKS OFF WITH MY SOUND REBUTTAL.
you knoww thanks pal i wwant to say it wwas difficult but this wwas actually like takin mealwworms from a malnourished grub once the time travvel aspect wwas sorted out