Crowbar
@crowbarFelt
Just'a man on a mission.
Welcome back. You know who you are.
I'm not that old, am I? 35 isn't...like, middle aged, yeah?
Ya don't get your mid-age crisis until yer in your fifties, cool your jets.
It is a simple matter of inevitability that one such as @caliBorn should find himself at the helm of any hierarchy he deigns to inhabit. While the title of "moderator" is a modest sphere of influence for a Lord of his singular caliber, I offer my most impeccable congratulations on this appointment. It is my firmest belief, or rather, a matter of established fact, that he shall exercise his new authority with the exact degree of uncompromising precision for which he is known. I trust every one of your desires will be satisfied, Master. You have always been such a quick learner. Congratulations.
I do hope you will pardon my temporary absence. Once again, important affairs occurred in my own timeline, and with my current project still ongoing it has been more important than ever to ensure everything remains in place. That being said, I am certain you are all happy to see me.
SOMETIMES. WHEN DOC SCRATCH DOESN'T WANT ME TO SPIT OuT MY MORNING VITAMINS. HE HIDES THEM IN A PIECE OF CHEESE. AS IF I DON'T KNOW THE FuCKING DIFFERENCE. THE ONLY REASON I FALL FOR IT. ON PuRPOSE MIND YOu. IS BECAuSE I GET TO CHEW THEM SHITS TO SMITHEREENS. NEGATING ANY HIPPIE DIPPIE BuLLSHIT THEY PuT IN MY SYSTEM.
THEY'RE YuCKY AS FuCK. GET THE SOuR GuMMY ONES NEXT TIME.
THEY SAID I COuLD PROTOTYPE ANYTHING I WANTED. SO I TOOK THE REGISTERED GOD PARTICLE ON MY HIP. AND I CHuCKED THAT SHIT LIKE IT WAS A CABER TOSS FREELIFT IN THE uPPER WEIGHT CATEGORY. AND I LANDED THAT SHIT SMACK DAB IN THE 12 O' CLOCK POSITION. RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE GOLDEN GLOWING BuTTHOLE OF AuRA ITSELF. NOW NO ONE WILL FuCK WITH ME. GuESS WHY. GuESS WHY. BECAuSE MY ANuS IS A DICK GuILLOTINE. I'VE GOT EVERY SHOOTER uNDER MY COMMAND. ALL THE GuNS ARE CALIBORN CALIBER. https://i.imgur.com/P3cC8YX.png
That's neat an' all boss, but, uh, you still got YOUR guns and ammo, right? You didn't just turn it all into ghost vapor? 'Cause you still need yer own guns.
@barackObama COME FuCK WITH ME.
everyone watch out for the asshole inspector.
♦ Unless you're a doctor, that just sounds like you want something else out of it. Creep.
It's a fuckin' threat, dipshit. I'm sittin' in my corner and he won't shut up about ass inspections. Well, if he wants one so bad, the gloves are on.
Well ya gotta wear gloves, that's unsanitary otherwise.
♦ Threatening to fondle his prostate? It's alright if you're gay, Crowbar, but you should check if the other party is interested in you.
♦ This just in, Crowbar thinks about the depths of Spades Slick. How quaint.
Well, I stopped thinkin' about it for the bit, but then Spades posted about it again, and now you're postin' about it again, and now we're all in this kumbaya of depths thinkin' that I didn't think I'd do tonight. Fuck. Let's just stop it here and move on wit' our lives.
I'm TRYING, but now you all don't SHUT UP about it. I don't even think you GOT an asshole, you're like some freaky lobster thing...
where the hell do you think we shit out of. we all got dark moist caverns down there that let out turds. you do too. snowman does. get over it and again stop being a freak.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHY ARE YOU DESCRIBING IT IN /DETAIL/
THE QUESTION NEVER EVEN CAME UP ON A PHILOSOPHICAL LEVEL! OH, YA THINK I SIT DOWN AND GO "ALRIGHT EVERYBODY, ASSHOLE INSPECTION!" NO!
i don't know. for all i know you might since you're so fucked up in the head apparently.
I'M NOT THINKIN' ABOUT ANYONE'S DAMN ASSHOLE.
Should of know you would throw a pass at slick
YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SAYIN' DAT? I AIN'T GAY. I THINK. Still thinkin' about that- I /ONLY/ LIKE DAMES. FOR NOW. RIGHT NOW IT'S DAME FUCKIN' CITY.