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Crowbar

@crowbarFelt

Just'a man on a mission.

Blood: JadeAge: Kult Score: 1988Kull Score: 337934 followers32 following

I'M NOT THINKIN' ABOUT ANYONE'S DAMN ASSHOLE.

Kult: +38
Kull: +44
Total: 82
Ratio: 0.86

REAL WEIRD THING TO PUT ON MY TL SEVENS

Kult: +7
Total: 7

Should of know you would throw a pass at slick

Kult: +2
Kull: +2
Total: 4
Ratio: 1.00

YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SAYIN' DAT? I AIN'T GAY. I THINK. Still thinkin' about that- I /ONLY/ LIKE DAMES. FOR NOW. RIGHT NOW IT'S DAME FUCKIN' CITY.

Kult: +5
Kull: +2
Total: 7
Ratio: 2.50
@crowbarFelt[CF]

;)

♦ This is your own fault.

@crowbarFelt[CF]

IN THE WISE WORDS OF MS. DROOG @draconianDignitary take your time

Kult: +5
Total: 5

I keep collectin' Diamonds Droogs like friggin' playin' cards. I don't mind the attention, but fellas, at least say somethin'.

Kult: +77
Kull: +72
Total: 149
Ratio: 1.07

Not a clue.

collect this. 🖕

Kult: +7
Kull: +5
Total: 12
Ratio: 1.40

🖕🖕 Two of 'em, call them Deuces.

@crowbarFelt[CF]

good. now you got a good pair to shove up your ass. have fun.

Kult: +7
Kull: +5
Total: 12
Ratio: 1.40

...why'd you even think of me shovin' em up my ass, Slick? Somethin' on the mind? Or do ya need two of 'em to envision one wit' dat lack a depth of yours, matey?

Kult: +2
Kull: +5
Total: 7
Ratio: 0.40
@crowbarFelt[CF]

why are you thinking about the depth of my asshole.

Kult: +7
Kull: +10
Total: 17
Ratio: 0.70

Why are you thinkin' 'bout MY asshole, asshole?

@crowbarFelt[CF]

it was a fuckingcommin expression. "shove it up your ass". and you had to go and make it fucking weird. what the hell is wrong with you.

Kull: +5
Total: 5

Kull: +5
Total: 5

( common* )

Kult: +5
Total: 5

𝘊𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘣𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 - 𝘙𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘰𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥 : 𝘚𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘳𝘦 [00:04 ~ 3:19] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLiDemXYSLc

Felt announcement. #feltannouncement Da boss has mandated the mobilization of da Felt in order ta' take down da paparazzi. If you see any irresponsible photographers takin' pics of mildly to incredibly famous folks without their consent, you are authorized and compelled to wack 'em out cold and send 'em straight to meet up wit' da fishes. We'll be doing quarterly quota checks to make sure this menace is eliminated. That's all for now.

Kult: +44
Kull: +37
Total: 81
Ratio: 1.19

>>>(What) do (They) have to hide outside of three hundred and sixty degrees of unflattering angles?.. >>>(Much) to consider...

Don't care. Orders from the boss. What he says, goes.

@crowbarFelt[CF]

>>>((I)) know (Something) worth a thousandfold of (What) (Your) boss says...

I can't believe The Felt are muscling in on my 'Paparazzi Punching' services now. Can't have shit in Midnight City.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Hey, wasn't my idea. But if the boss wills it, the boss gets it. Only way outta dis one is if you unteach him the idea of what a paparazzi is. (I had to break it down for him carefully 15 minutes ago.)

Kult: +2
Total: 2
@crowbarFelt[CF]

Well on one-hand that's less spondulicks goin' around. On the other more paparazzi punched. Guess you gotta take the good with the bad.

#boatclub My favorite's the Devil's Reach. Ain't enough to talk about it, though... it's gotta be expressed in song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkXnLatevJU

Kult: +15
Kull: +15
Total: 30
Ratio: 1.00

YESSSSSSSS, MORE MEM8ERS! ::::D

Kult: +5
Total: 5

I'll listen w)(en I'm on land. 38)

Actively repressin' the thought of a dame version of my crew. Actively repressin' the thought of me as a dame. Just gotta stay focused. Stay focused, Crowbar. Stay focused...

Kult: +63
Kull: +50
Total: 113
Ratio: 1.26

I thought only one of you was an egg.

@woeGothic[WG]

No, his name is Eggs. Wait, what do you mean by that?

@crowbarFelt[CF]

Nothing, nothing at all.

Kull: +2
Total: 2

>>>(Psionic) psyop attack >>>(Very) common >>>(Double) (Your) hats and stay away from windows

Kull: +5
Total: 5
@woeGothic[WG]

O-okay. Alright...

What the fuck are you even sayin'.

@crowbarFelt[CF]

>>>(Filtered) >>>(Not) going to make (It)

Kull: +5
Total: 5

We got filters involved now?!

@crowbarFelt[CF]

>>>(Sounds) like (Someone) drinks unfiltered... >>>((It)) may be too late...

I mean, the groundwater's fine, I don't see why I gotta filter anythin- I'm done wit' dis nonsense...

Kull: +2
Total: 2

Wish upper management would understand sometimes that sayin' less is more. Silence in of itself is its own class.

Kult: +35
Kull: +35
Total: 70
Ratio: 1.00

38D Sometimes saying less is stupid!

૮₍⑅´꒳`₎ა hello⁀hi! hey! down⁀here! when⁀i⁀am⁀quiet⁀people⁀tend⁀to⁀bump⁀into⁀me! i⁀must⁀be⁀loud! wahoo!

I'll introduce you to my upper management sometime. Might get the picture better.

@crowbarFelt[CF]

38/ Cueball guy? Bone baby man? I'm ignoring w)(atever t)(ose are. 38) I'm )(appy being an )(eiress!

Listen ma'am, I'm tryin' to exercise what's called a "vaguepost".

@crowbarFelt[CF]

38o T)(ere's a cueball lady now too!

Yeah. Yeah...

Fuck it. Felt Friday. Felts, roll call up and show 'em what we got. #feltfriday

Kult: +20
Kull: +27
Total: 47
Ratio: 0.74

FELT FRIDAY IS IN AuGuST. DID YOu EVEN CROSS REFERENCE. THE CALENDAR. WITH THE SCANTILY CLAD. NERVOuS BROADS. IN THE BREAK ROOM. BEFORE MAKING THIS POST?

@caliBorn[CB]

Shit, I forgot. Sorry boss. Got caught up in all a da hubbub with the fridays and the hashtags and whatnot.

Kull: +5
Total: 5
@crowbarFelt[CF]

GOOD DOuBLING BACK AROuND. PRAISEWORTHY BLuSTER. YOuR SIN IS PARDONED.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

I don't understand what "flaming" is. I'm gettin' bombarded with weird new internet shit and it's makin' my head hurt.

Kult: +30
Kull: +30
Total: 60
Ratio: 1.00

FLAMING. IS JuST A POLITE WAY. OF PEOPLE INFORMING YOu. THAT YOu SWING A CERTAIN WAY. AND NOT JuST WITH. THE INVALuABLE WEAPON. YOu HAVE BEEN. ENTRuSTED TO CARRY. AND EXECuTE FAITHFuLLY. MY ENEMIES WITH.

@caliBorn[CB]

So it's just anotha way of sayin' I'm gay?

Kull: +5
Total: 5
@crowbarFelt[CF]

CORRECT. YOu CATCH ON FAST.

@crowbarFelt[CF]

LIKE A FLAMING. FLAMBOYANT GAY PERSON. SET ON FIRE.

@caliBorn[CB]

Right...

Startin' ta dawn on me most a' y'all have the survival instinct of a mayfly in a field a' pitcher plants.

Kult: +15
Kull: +7
Total: 22
Ratio: 2.14

♤ I Haven't The Foggiest What Either Of Those Are ♤

ᴄʀᴏᴡʙᴀʀ ɪꜱ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ - ʟyɴyʀᴅ ꜱᴋyɴʀᴅ : ꜰʀᴇᴇ ʙɪʀᴅ [0:03 ~ 9:10] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LwcvjNJTuM

There's a lotta attractive dames on this site. Guy like me's gotta keep it together, though. If it ain't about the gang, and if it ain't about gettin' that bag, I don't want it. I've been sittin' down askin' a lotta tough questions t'myself, and it all boils down to this: Fuck all'a dat. I want land, money, influence, power, and I want the gang to eat n' live. That's how it's gotta be.

Kult: +55
Kull: +35
Total: 90
Ratio: 1.57

♤ You Are A Respectable Leader, Mr. Crowbar. ♤

Damn straight.

Kult: +5
Total: 5
@crowbarFelt[CF]

♤ I'd Aspire To Be More Like You, However My Pusher Is Too Easily Moved By People. Cute Ladies Especially. ♤

I've been there. In my youth I got a little more carried away by cute dames. But it's about discipline, and focus. Puttin' in da hours, so ta' speak.

Kult: +5
Total: 5
@crowbarFelt[CF]

♤ I Suppose My Lifestyle Allows Me Both Without Compromise... Well, Most Of Both, Anyways. ♤

Enviable. Don't get distracted when it matters, though. I've learned that da hard way.

Listen. Wooin' dames is easy. All you gotta do is make good food, have good convo by actually readin' a fuckin' book, and show 'em ya get shit done. Simple as dat. Now, some dames got some real fire in 'em, and those ya gotta play by ear. Some, sure, shoot yer shot,but others ya gotta leave well enough alone 'cause they got their own shit ta' sort out.

Kult: +80
Kull: +35
Total: 115
Ratio: 2.29

You should listen to this one.

I have found this to be true in my experience.

QuESTION. IN A THEORETICAL SENSE. DOES THIS APPLY. TO ALL GENDERS.

I'm still understandin' gender but as far as I know, a dame's a dame. If yer tryin' to romance 'em? Dat's a dame.

Kult: +10
Kull: +2
Total: 12
Ratio: 5.00

I would say no. Most men are extremely simple creatures.

Stop divulging our secrets, that's rude.

It's a secret? Sad.

Mornin' everybody. Had me a good night's sleep. Back to da grind.

Kult: +15
Kull: +10
Total: 25
Ratio: 1.50

It never stops, as they say ^^

Kult: +5
Total: 5

:)

Kult: +5
Total: 5

https://i.imgur.com/TU5iAiV.png Ya sell the nuclear codes /once/ and suddenly the President's on yer ass.

Kult: +39
Kull: +22
Total: 61
Ratio: 1.77

I expect $2.50 and half of that coupon.

@barackObama[BO]

Two bucks and the sandwich from da coupon.

Kult: +5
Total: 5
@crowbarFelt[CF]

Deal. Pleasure working with you.

@barackObama[BO]

Ya know it.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Had a "cheat day" and treated myself to a calzone. Mmmf, so friggin' good.

Kult: +60
Kull: +50
Total: 110
Ratio: 1.20

…TO BE CLEAR. THIS WAS NOT. SOME OTHER CHERuB. YOu ATE. RIGHT?

c< lucKy, glad yOure dOiN alrigHt tHOugH >c

https://www.startpage.com/av/proxy-image?piurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2Fbb5c9zscboa51.jpg&sp=1776996945T5a4eb8118bd45094595e8d055ecf1a0fb67e43e95207375b1a245081f21cd740 This answer yer fuckin' question?

@crowbarFelt[CF]

Fuck, it doesn't show. Sorry, new to links n' shit. Does this answer yer goddamn question? https://www.startpage.com/av/proxy-image?piurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.happyfoodstube.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2016%2F03%2Fcalzone-pizza-recipe.jpg&sp=1776996945T8d099ae59432270f62b3e4a3789251566190da4ce6a9b9c129372686a628d35e

@crowbarFelt[CF]

THAT. DOESN’T SEEM TO GO ANYWHERE. SO NO???????????

@crowbarFelt[CF]

Fuck me, why isn't it working? Fuck, okay. Does... THIS answer yer question? https://img.freepik.com/premium-photo/calzone-with-touch-truffle-oil-yummy-delicious-calzone-food-image-photography_1020697-759927.jpg?w=1380

Kult: +5
Total: 5
@crowbarFelt[CF]

OKAY NOW IT’S ANSWERED. THANK YOu FROG MAN.

Leprechaun! Not a friggin' frog!

@crowbarFelt[CF]

SORRY. YOuR PROFILE IMAGE GAVE ME A FEELING. THAT I ALSO FEEL. WHEN SEEING IMAGES OF FROGS.

Euuugghhh...

Anybody got a lamp? One a da lamps in da manor died.

Kult: +115
Kull: +110
Total: 225
Ratio: 1.05

Feminist? I guess I like women. Dames mostly.

@crowbarFelt[CF]

ok so pitch #2 i (wearin a sexy and SOPHISTICATED pantsuit) do ur work while U hold the lamp for me instead

Yeah, sure. S'long as I get water. Lamps like that are hot as fuck and make ya sweat after a while. Why I keep my sorta dimmed.

@crowbarFelt[CF]

awwww :C

@crowbarFelt[CF]

now i feel bad no i dont think u should hold the lamp either!!!!!

We're really not gettin' anywhere with this...

@crowbarFelt[CF]

wanna try 2 figure it out over a drink? ;) *wonk*

Eh... fine. Sure, I'll bite.

@crowbarFelt[CF]

(scooooreeeee!!!!!!!)

This ain't sports, ma'am.

Just wanna say for the record that I fuckin' hate troll quirks. Most insipid thing ever devised by troll hands. Some of it is whatever. Others? I hope every key in your fuckin' keyboard is confiscated, re-arranged, and handed right back to ya.

Kult: +74
Kull: +65
Total: 139
Ratio: 1.14

Sorry to the trolls. I guess.

Kult: +2
Total: 2

c< uNderstaNdable >c

Rude. Way to mock our culture.

Mine istn tha' bad rihgt... >//>

Kult: +5
Total: 5
@vitalBrush[VB]

Yer fine. If yer talkin' in more numbers than letters though, learn english.

Kult: +5
Total: 5
@crowbarFelt[CF]

Y'ssir... ehhe.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

hUmans and game constrUcts actUally seem to be the oUtliers, here! there is plenty of evidence of pre-imperial non-troll residents of Universe A Utilising typing qUirks, not to mention Us cherUbim.

It's still dumb as hell.

@crowbarFelt[CF]

tell that to yoUr boss in his yoUnger years.

He's the birthday boy. Forever.

Looked at this #fightnight nonsense and ducked out right after. The smell alone could put down a friggin' hippo.

Kult: +26
Kull: +5
Total: 31
Ratio: 5.20

Feelin' this right now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiPGjjLsr1Y

Kult: +5
Total: 5