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John Egbert

@ectoBiologist

Earth F 8x12 - Prospit dreamer - Heir of Breath - Trans Man, he/him

Blood: AnonymousAge: Kult Score: 401Kull Score: 29015 followers4 following

=_= ⬛️⬛️🟨⬛️🟩 ⬛️🟨⬛️🟩🟩 ⬛️⬛️🟨🟩🟩 🟩⬛️🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

1. the troll soda blew up in the freezer 2. the troll soda getting in caused the freezer to then blow up 3. half of DnD night was spent with the 8x12, none of which are neurotypicals, trying to fix said freezer while also playing DnD 4. i said 'fuck it', went back in time, grabbed roxy, got her to make a copy of the freezer, got the freezer back five (my five key on my laptop is broken). this fuckshit solution caused a timeline of Earth F_1-1 six (i really need a better laptop). came back to chittr several hours later and now i have no fucking clue what is going on

Kult: +25
Kull: +20
Total: 45
Ratio: 1.25

wait why didn't you just??? put the soda in the fridge while back in time???

oh my god. i am a fucking idiot.

DON'T RECHITT MY STUPID ASS

XB LMAO

i feel like i missed something important on chittr while we were at DnD night

Kult: +10
Total: 10

Dave keeps saying I need to choose a more updated photo for my pfp but ehhh, I think this one works just fine, even if it is pre-sburb ^_^

Kult: +24
Kull: +20
Total: 44
Ratio: 1.20
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@ghostyTrickster[GT]

oh wow that is an old picture.

Ha It's Like Seeing Baby Photos Of An Alternative Version Of My Husband

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@hollywoodGodhead[HG]

At least you don’t have that god awful mustache

Maybe in real life I do, you don't know that! ;P

huh! i didn't even think about the possibility of SBURB having been developed by an actual team or whatever... that account is strange.

Kult: +30
Kull: +15
Total: 45
Ratio: 2.00
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Feathery Asshole
despite everything, youre still just a feathery asshole.
@turntechGodhead[TG]

shit is bogus anyways everyone knows sburb was developed by secret agents sent from the past future to save the world

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Zoologically Dubious Caduceus
An ominous omen for a complacent wizard.
@uranianUmbra[UU]

i feel as thoUgh it's more of a metaphysical sitUation. tapping into the mUltiversal narrative majjyks that power this site, some instance or other of the game has generated a "developer" accoUnt, pUrely becaUse that is something video games have.

Kult: +5
Total: 5
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@hollywoodGodhead[HG]

On my Earth, Sburb was a zoetrope company making huge facilities all over the east coast Didn't take off the same way, especially since since the adoption of transdimensional technology, basically making the want for ARGs more obsolete than cooking a pie with sun

/u\ All my friends are so cool!

Kull: +5
Total: 5

oh! looks like i missed april fools! oops! :B

Kult: +52
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Total: 102
Ratio: 1.04

⚡your greatezt joke of all⚡

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST. FORGOT????

haha! pretty much!

yep! sorry if i kept you waiting! the time storms here have been crazy, I guess i was stuck in a pocket of March 31st and suddenly now its April 2nd!

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@dStrides[DS]

this is not epic

John we were waiting all day for something to happen. John. John you committed accidental psychological warfare. John what the fuck

@dStrides[DS]

i know :B usually i do something special on april fools but it's been weird with the time storms

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@dStrides[DS]

you scare me

@dStrides[DS]

:] Maybe you should be afraid.

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@dStrides[DS]

oh god

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@barackObama[BO]

Happy World Autism Day to every user on this site. You, as well as I, are celebrated today.

Kult: +160
Kull: +62
Total: 222
Ratio: 2.58
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Worst Brother Ever
Turned a childhood into a life long strife.
@tactfulTactriun[TT]

i dont have autism but i'll pass this to my kid.

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@barackObama[BO]

The presence of the autism trait is required to operate an account on Chittr.ing.

Kult: +25
Kull: +5
Total: 30
Ratio: 5.00
@barackObama[BO]

Yeah, that makes sense. Time to go tell my sister she's autistic. Thanks.

Kult: +5
Total: 5
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@barackObama[BO]

… Whatever you say, Mr. Strider.

Kult: +15
Total: 15
@barackObama[BO]
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Worst Brother Ever
Turned a childhood into a life long strife.
@tactfulTactriun[TT]

whyd you hesitate.

Kult: +5
Kull: +2
Total: 7
Ratio: 2.50
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@barackObama[BO]

… No particular reason, Mr. Strider. Have a good rest of your day.

Kult: +5
Kull: +2
Total: 7
Ratio: 2.50

WHAT IS AN AuTISM. WHEN DID I CONSENT TO HAVING THIS. I DEMAND TO KNOW.

Kult: +10
Total: 10

hell yeah dawg, didn't even know it was autism day

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Thanks Obama, mew~ 💖✨

Kult: +10
Total: 10

My fellow American, Is autism what they call infantile paralysis in modern times?

Oh!! I also opened up a tumblr ask blog!!! Dave and Jade might pop in there from time to time if questions mention them!! :B https://www.tumblr.com/j0hn-ect0bi0l0gist-egbert/812585043322191872/hi

OutOfCharacter// I love dropping hints this timeline is screwed up to hell and back and there are DEFINITELY issues that John is sweeping underneath the rug :] //

Kult: +20
Kull: +10
Total: 30
Ratio: 2.00
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@dStrides[DS]

((i think its really funny watching you post in a good way))

@dStrides[DS]

Thank you! :D this timeline of John is such a silly guy despite the horrors :]

Kult: +5
Total: 5

I feel bad for the other timelines that are missing certain people :( so far we've been super lucky, but others haven't been

Kult: +60
Kull: +45
Total: 105
Ratio: 1.33

i feel bad for every one without me because i'M fucking awesome

Kult: +5
Total: 5

yea lol highkey sucks the amount of people that died in mine

Kult: +17
Total: 17
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@nannaEgbert[NE]

It's so sad that won't stay that lucky

Kult: +5
Total: 5
@nannaEgbert[NE]

Nana!!! XB they don't know that yet!! Stop fourth wall breaking!!

Kult: +10
Total: 10

Also Feel Bad Cause Anotha Version Of Ya Is Married To Fucking Kasane Teto And You Aren't

Kult: +5
Total: 5

🫂

Kult: +5
Total: 5
@kasaneTeto[KT]

Would it be rude to say that I don't really like her in that way in the first place? Like yeah she's cool but idk what the other me sees in her

Kult: +5
Total: 5

You're Literally Talking To Her Dude But I Get It You Fish Minded Not Shark Minded

Kult: +5
Total: 5

aw thanks man

It says it's 12am and I'm over here crying over minecraft doomed yaoi while Dave and Jade rearrange the day/night cycle again

Kult: +32
Kull: +25
Total: 57
Ratio: 1.28
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@flightyBroad[FB]

Creakings only spawn in the Pale Garden Biome after dark, John.

Kult: +2
Total: 2

\ yeah 1'd say thats a n0rmal 0ccurence /

Not that yaoi, a different one!

Kult: +7
Total: 7
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@flightyBroad[FB]

...There are others? Explain. Otherwise Dave and I have been wasting our time, complicit in idleness. Mining at Y=17 for proverbial diamonds found entirely elsewhere and deeper than we were expecting.

Kult: +2
Total: 2

Well to be more specific, it's a minecraft /ARG/ doomed yaoi! https://youtu.be/3V7Rvo4Gvic

Kult: +7
Total: 7

Oop! Well that's a UI update! Well, if anyone has questions about Earth F, Jade and Dave are both busy, so I'll try my best to answer from here :B

Kult: +25
Kull: +30
Total: 55
Ratio: 0.83
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@dStrides[DS]

is your green markiplier missing too

Kult: +5
Total: 5
@dStrides[DS]

Yes 😔

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@dStrides[DS]

NOWHERE ARE GREEN MARKIPLIERS SAFE THIS IS A TRAVESTY I NEED VODKA #substances

@dStrides[DS]

We think the LA gangs finally got him

Kult: +2
Total: 2
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@dStrides[DS]

NO NO NO NO

Today's wordle is straight up bullshit =_= ⬛️🟨⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ ⬛⬛🟩⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Kult: +77
Kull: +60
Total: 137
Ratio: 1.28

Penis looking ass attempts It's even pissing

Kult: +15
Total: 15

penisle

@gardenGamma[GG]

Thanks Jade :]

Kult: +5
Total: 5

That's what I'm sayin

Everyone agrees its an unintentional penis

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@equiusZahhak[EZ]

D --> This is why horsle is superior

it couleve been intentional idk ur penis wordle strats

XB LOL Intentional penis wordle world record when

Kult: +10
Total: 10

Is every word 'horse'

Kult: +5
Total: 5
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@equiusZahhak[EZ]

D --> Yes

"Oh yeah we killed Lord English" "Wdym you killed lord english????" "Well i didn't! Dirk did! But like he's also not exactly completely dead...it's more the death of his ego. Like. The "self" died and now a new person resulted in the body he's in, which resulted him losing his godtier." "How???" "We still don't know! Dirk hasn't told us. Honestly I think he's scared of himself because of it..."

Kult: +40
Kull: +35
Total: 75
Ratio: 1.14
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Zoologically Dubious Caduceus
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@uranianUmbra[UU]

oh!!!!!!!!!!! something similar happened to me, actUally!!! in my brother's absence, my body began growing a new sibling. eventUally i predominated over it, bUt as kindly as i coUld.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

MY PHONE'S SPEAKER TYPING WAS ON TTnTT

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Zoologically Dubious Caduceus
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@uranianUmbra[UU]

what's this new soUl like??

Kult: +5
Total: 5

he's really nice!! he built a community garden with the remaining skaia/prospit/derse residents that we had found. he still has some lingering memories of what he did and has a lot to work through, but we've been helping him navigate that. he goes by Mr. English, for right now at least. he isn't sure what to call himself or who he is yet, but that's ok, he has the freedom to choose whoever he wants to be now :]

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Zoologically Dubious Caduceus
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@uranianUmbra[UU]

how lovely! glad to know there's some version of my brother who's chosen kindness. i sUppose nightmare might qUalify, thoUgh by the time i ate it, she seemed happier being called sister? bUt now it's part of me, so it's hard to say how much of that is nightmare's feelings and how mUch is my own. and regardless, she was qUite distinct from him to begin with.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

hopefully if i can convince him to get a chittr, you could even talk to him here :] i'm unsure what ego death is like but i can kind of see the similarity in what you're talking about with what he's told me

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Zoologically Dubious Caduceus
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@uranianUmbra[UU]

well, nightmare endUred an ego death to become part of me, and that was *qUite* painfUl. i remember it from both ends!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

My friends are so cool :]

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Ohhh I see the confusion, there's multiple timelines where other me's are trans women instead of trans men. Go figure! Feel kinda bad about my bio now. I just got too annoyed at some other connections not understanding that I'm a trans man in this timeline and insisting I go by "she/her"...

Kult: +52
Kull: +20
Total: 72
Ratio: 2.60
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@ectoBiologist[EB]

god, i am so sorry people are putting you through that john!

Kult: +5
Kull: +5
Total: 10
Ratio: 1.00
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@undyingUmbrage[UU]

TRANS MAN THIS. TRANS WOMAN THAT. WHY DON'T YOU DO ME A FAVOR, AND TRANS YOURSELF INTO A CORPSE. HOO HOO HOO. HAA HAA HAA. YOU HAVE JUST BEEN OWNED, BY THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!

Kult: +10
Total: 10

It's ok, June! It's not your fault. I'm more glad you found out you're, well, you! :]

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@ectoBiologist[EB]

you too, buddy!

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Huh! Jade said that she just got word of another part of Earth F getting interdimensional internet access! Hoping the empire doesn't shut it down again :/ we don't want to have to repair anymore damaged towers.

Kult: +17
Kull: +15
Total: 32
Ratio: 1.13
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@gardenGnostic[GG]

still trying my best!

Kult: +5
Total: 5
TT
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@tentacleTherapist[TT]

I've had a few moments of flashes of activity from Earth G, too.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

That's good! Glad to see even more timelines are getting updated

Huh! Some kinda leaderboard there! Unsure what that means but alright

Kult: +60
Kull: +60
Total: 120
Ratio: 1.00
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@nannaEgbert[NE]

John. The cake

Kult: +5
Total: 5

egdork

Kult: +5
Total: 5
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@undyingUmbrage[UU]

NOT THAT YOU HAVE ANY HOPE OF MAKING IT ON THERE, REGARDLESS. HAA HAA HAA. GET OWNED, BITCH. ANOTHER POST, ANOTHER BANGER.

Kult: +2
Kull: +7
Total: 9
Ratio: 0.29

:( well that's not fun

@nannaEgbert[NE]

I KNOW I'm getting to it nana!!

@nannaEgbert[NE]
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@ectoBiologist[EB]

please give it to him instead of me.

Idk why social media is being treated as a contest. I mean, what do you even get as a prize? Bragging rights? :?

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@nannaEgbert[NE]

I can make more don't worry

Kult: +5
Kull: +2
Total: 7
Ratio: 2.50

Oh hi me! If it'll help you I'll take it!

Kult: +2
Total: 2
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@ectoBiologist[EB]

please. just be prepared for the several hundreds of leftover cookies she made yesterday.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Do cat bites normally sting real bad? Asking for a friend.

Kult: +42
Kull: +40
Total: 82
Ratio: 1.05

n0

:33< had a run in with the rare venom cat eh?

Kult: +10
Total: 10
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@bummelBoogie[BB]

7eah, that’s the meowbeast venom. hope 7ou’re not parti(ularl7 atta(hed to that limb

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@adiosToreador[AT]

mAYBE YOU ARE, aLLERGIC? oR, iT COULD BE VENOMOUS, i GUESS, oR MAYBE, yOU COULD GIVE IT JUST, a GENTLE NIBBLE, tO TEST TO SEE, iF IT IS POISONOUS?

Kult: +5
Total: 5
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@carcinoGeneticist[CG]

YES. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE IN THREE DAYS.

Thanks karkat.

Kult: +2
Total: 2
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@carcinoGeneticist[CG]

YOU'RE WELCOME JOHN.