Joan English 💚
@physiqueManipulater
Genetics researcher and cosmetic surgeon for hire💚 Part-time hiker, full-time scientific artiste💚
Why hello, all💚 Finally back from a hard earned vacation, and thought I’d start my work week by creating an official account to advertise my services💚 Now, what services would those be exactly? Why I’m so glad you asked💚 I’m one of the most experienced cosmetic surgeons on the market💚 I can do it all, from permanent hair color alterations, to fully working extra limbs, animated tattoos, nothing is outside my skill-set💚 Of course, I can undo any procedure as well if you wish to go back to your normal self💚 But I can guarantee you won’t, not with my results💚 If any of these sound appealing to you, or if you have something more specific you’d like me to do, please do not hesitate from direct-messaging me💚 I eagerly await your replies, and do wish you all a very pleasant evening 💚
I'vE gOttEn mysElf A nEw drEss, It's nIcE tO sEE my tAIlOr OncE AgAIn I fEEl wOndErfUl And clEAn AgAIn shE dIdn't EvEn Ask AbOUt thE wOUnds, whIch wAs vEry kInd Of hEr
Friendly reminder that I do tend to be booked up for months at a time, so if you see that I have an open spot for you in my schedule, please, *DO NOT* hesitate! there is no cosmetic modification I am against nor am incapable of, I would be absolutely delighted to have you in my clinic 💚
can you make me alive again
👁️
That would require someone with knowledge on necromancy. I could synthesize a body in your likeness, but I have no tools nor the skills needed to actually transfer your soul inside it. If you have access to such things, come back to me then💚
ok i feel SEEN why you lookin though
this is in my skillset
well if i did i wouldnt be asking...
wait seriously
yes, seriously. I will DM you.
aight
You ever just look at someone, and know, deep in your marrow, that they’re going to be an absolute delight to perceive? Not necessarily because they are genuinely fun to be around, but because the way they speak, act, and think is so specific, that they activate your inner researcher like a newly hired field researcher that’s discovered a brand new organism? This is going to be *very* fun💚
Can't be about anyone but me obviously
It is so very fascinating you immediately assumed it was you💚 Make that two people, now💚
Good luck, I'm a bit of a doozy
That's one way you could put it. More like u8iquitously opinion8ted. 8ut amusingly so.
Eternal Casper Forever
You do 8asically have a fan following don't you? You should m8ke an official clu8. Not even 8eing sarcastic!
That's so scary to think about
There might already even 8e a fan clu8 formed 8ehind your 8ack. >::::D
If anyone else would like to be degraded and/or gender affirmed in a maid dress, please speak up. As an equal opportunist, it is my sworn duty to assist. #Suggestive #PositiveAffirmations #Or #Humiliation #NSFW?
Ough... Maid dresses... Maybe........
Maybe? No, there is no "maybe." The moment you responded, you knew the answer in your core. This is a natural calling for you, it would be morally offensive to deny what is inherent in your spirit. You can start Tuesday.
Ok..! I'll start Tuesday >_<"
Never-wore-one-of-those<< How-do-they-feel<< How-much-cän-I-move-in-it<<
Well enough to complete your designated tasks. If you're so curious, you should try it. Tomorrow will work fine.
Also what are the English diaries?💚
Lord English, an evil Cherub Lord of Time, exploded recently and his diaries are being released online.
Everyone should wear maid dresses now💚
we typically do that on Monday.
As a doctor, wearing dresses and string bikini’s improves your health by 200%💚
Everyone should wear more dresses now💚
correct!!!
So true other Joan! :)
i pretty much only wear dresses! and jumpsuits i guess. i dont like wearing more than one garment!!! also nice glasses :B
im liek every other girl i go teehee n kick my feet when ppl like my nocknames for them
oh that is so powerful.
You could see me in a string bikini…💚
For those too shy to ask, yes, I do also perform horn extensions 💚
(˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵) —— Hey all, just came back frOm a call with a friend, and wanted tO say that yOur beauty dOes nOt determine yOur wOrth ❤︎ YOu deserve gOOd things regardless Of yOur appearance Or weight Or whatever, and as lOng as yOu feel gOOd abOut yOurself, that's what matters. LOts Of lOve! (✿◠‿◠) #pOsitivity #selfcare #selflOve #bOdypOsitivity #ihavetOrememberthissOmetimestOO —— (˘ ³˘)
Hm… I think the most memorable request I have gotten, that I am at liberty to speak about, may be the time someone asked me to *remove* their wings. They were horrifically atrophied, and they said explicitly that they’d rather just have them gone entirely than have to spend years attempting to get them in proper order again through physical therapy. It’s not all sad, however💚 they then requested me to have them sent to a taxidermy friend of mine to fashion them into part of an art project of theirs, so that their memory of them may be immortalized💚 Truly, a beautiful thing to see. Such gorgeous things they were, too 💚
that is so fucking cool!!!! also, wings?? are there people with wings in the alt future??? 8O
A few, some natural, others because of me💚 I could give you a pair, if you wish💚
nah, i'm more of a dog furry. might hit you up for ears sometime though!! ehhh, but i like my ears where they are.... i'll think about it 8J
No one ever said you can’t have both💚 I’ll be sure to keep a spot open for you if you ever change your mind💚
the real question is, how do people get born with wings? oh oh wait, is it davepeta descendants??? 8D
Mhm💚 Can’t say I know many of the creators personally though, I just know the history I was taught in school and what Jake has told me💚
Did you know, Asian Elephants are Closer related to Mammoths than African Elephants?
PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS ASKING ME THIS. I THINK IT SHOULD JUST REMAIN A FUCKING MYSTERY. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/EDDE774ED895.JPEG
man at least keep my name in the pic! >8V
I DIDN’T KNOW IF YOU WANTED CREDIT FOR BEING A DICKHEAD SUPREME. BUT CLEARLY YOU DO. HEY EVERYONE, GET A LOAD.
ok look for context THIS is what my karkat looks like. you can see my fucking confusion!!
i mean listen i respect it!! i fuck with the vibe, it's fun!!! it's just like. really surreal... ._.
So nice to meet a fellow descendant 💚
oh hell yeah. welcome 2 the club.
oh hell yeah!!! how far down? i mean you kind of look just like my mom so i'm guessing you're like second generation, max?
Third, actually💚 Jake English is my great-great-great grandfather, my great-great grandfather being his ecto-biological son💚
oh cool, we got strong genes i guess. so, that makes me yourrrrrr..... uhhhh... somethingth cousin something removed lol. oh fuck that means you're from the future!!!! 8D
Possibly, that or from a different universe entirely. A pleasure to meet you all the same💚
Why hello, all💚 Finally back from a hard earned vacation, and thought I’d start my work week by creating an official account to advertise my services💚 Now, what services would those be exactly? Why I’m so glad you asked💚 I’m one of the most experienced cosmetic surgeons on the market💚 I can do it all, from permanent hair color alterations, to fully working extra limbs, animated tattoos, nothing is outside my skill-set💚 Of course, I can undo any procedure as well if you wish to go back to your normal self💚 But I can guarantee you won’t, not with my results💚 If any of these sound appealing to you, or if you have something more specific you’d like me to do, please do not hesitate from direct-messaging me💚 I eagerly await your replies, and do wish you all a very pleasant evening 💚
Great-great grandfather is his ecto-biological son, then he met my great-great grandmother, granny Lilith, who then had my great grandfather Demi English who met Great Granny Blossom, then had my father, then had me💚 Apologies for the wordiness, I’m quite proud of my lineage💚
well then. uh. i'm kind of one of your relatives. not that i know how many ectobiological kids he had where you come from, but i very much am one of them. i'm the one who did the original round of ectobiology actually!
Oh, really! Such a pleasure to meet you, dear 💚 I suppose that makes you one of the oh-so elusive and fabled Creators, hm?💚
i mean i guess that is one way to put it. sburb was a whole thing and there's a lot of people who have gone through it on here. if anything, you're going to get inundates by people who made a universe here.
Hmhmhm💚 Always fun to learn about neighboring timelines, I say💚 and access to other worlds would make for more clientele💚
so you're like, some kind of surgeon? it sounds like you can do stuff i didn't know was possible!
Oh yes, I very much am💚 I specialize in cosmetics and body modification, but I am capable of more typical and average medical techniques as well💚 I am a geneticist as well, so that background definitely helps in my profession💚
i would ask where you were when i transitioned, but i'll bet you didn't exist yet, :p
If there is still something you wish for, my office is always open💚
i will definitely keep that in mind!!!