Juzz "Juzzo" Shannon "Shan-dog"
@ripperSunburn
boardies on, longneck in hand, living the dream
kookaburra sits in the old gumtree, merry merry king of the bush is he. laugh kookaburra laugh, how gay your life must be
*ੈ✩‧₊˚𖤐Imagine I am laughing loudly just as my lusus would, as nature intended.⭑⚝⭑ᯓ★
tier list of cunts 1. sick cunt 2. mad cunt 3. dumb cunt 4. shit cunt
undefeated handball champ right here
day for it told me mate to do a shoey with his newey but he got maggot on the goon bags flat out, pegged his thongs at me like a bowler and pissed off to the middle of fuckin whoop whoop. now hes up shit creek without a paddle and gave me a bell to ask me to nip down to the bloody servo for a bubble O bill. Silly cunts gettin a golden gaytime or nothin #substance
what what does that mean what
Arrrright, on ya mate.
Trranslation: "Th' weatherr is wonderrful today, so I told my frriend to do a shoey (1) with his newly-wed wife (unsurre about this one mate, might be a human thing). Unforrtunately he got too drrunk off of cheap wine frrom a carrdboarrd box, thrrew his flip-flops at me like a crricket bowlerr and vanished to th' middle of nowherre. Now he's up shit crreek without a paddle and gave me a call to ask me to go down to th' local serrvice station to get him an ice crream called a bubble O bill. As I'm upset at him, he is only gettin' an ice crream called a golden gaytime." (1) A shoey is an activity wherre ya put alcohol into th' heel of a shoe, and then drrink it frrom th' shoe. #substance
Fuck, got one wrrong. Newey is a brrand a' beerr. #substance
scarn mate
Not much mate, y'self?
cuzs nippers bday bash but the grommies are all tuckered out so its silly buggers time with the boys
Trranslation: "Cousin's child's birrthday parrty but th' childrren arre tirred so it is time to get silly with th' boys." Sounds fun as 'ell though mate.
havin a golden gaytime with the boys
Never change, NYC. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/164a6070a277.png
anyone been seein the ragers that one wiggle is throwin these days?
No I ain't but I gotta look it up now.
one of the fellas from justice crew throws big bashes for the tots, like playschool defcon
Ohhhh yeah nah I seen 'em. It's a bit bloody overrkill 'ey?
well it sure aint old man emu or home among the gumtrees by good old mate john williamson now is it
how we all feelin about double dippin a Tim Tam slam?
I think I misunderst⚣⚣d the intenti⚣n ⚣f this p⚣st at first. Are y⚣u asking t⚣ share s⚣me s⚣rt ⚣f f⚣⚣d?
I’m føłłøwing up untił thøse łast three wørds, can yøu give me their meaning in this cøntext? (Regardłess, I think it depends øn the number øf parties “dipping”; if it’s simpły øne ør twø øthers, a døubłe dip may be fine. If it’s at a łarger gathering… I’d reałły rather yøu døn’t.)
Tim Tam slam, where ya bite two ends of the bloody thing and suck it like a straw with a cuppa
Yes! #badgeguy #juniorbadgedyou #yourebluenow
well now im even more chuffed i get to be a true blue aussie battler with this one mate
looks like i got me a ripper translator over here to make sure all you silly galahs get what im havin a yarn about
c< HuH! tHats KiNda crazy, 2 be HONest, but, peOple be HOw tHey are >c
actin like a fuckin dole bludger skippin out on the missus sayin some fat ones like "just nippin to the servo for a pack of durries and a slab" then never comin back
worst part was cuzz, i was bein nothin but nice, tellin him about the joys of fairy bread
Sounds like 'e had a stick up his arrse then. Ain't yerr fault. #nsfw in case
c< tHat MaKes seNse, 2 be HONest >c
Rroight? Just needs a bitta efforrt. Trranslation: "He's actin' like someone who exploits th' welfarre system and leaves theirr wife, usually while tellin' a big lie such as "I am quickly goin' to th' serrvice station ferr a pack of cigarrettes and a case of beerr" and neverr rreturrning."
c< really? blOcKiN sOMeONe Over fairy bread? KiNda fucKeN Nuts 2 Me, i wONt lie >c
Sometimes in life, yer only gettin pummeled coz yer in the shallows gettin dunked on the sandbanks. But when ya swim out past the breakers? That's real peace out there mate. Keep on goin
=oXO i don,t understand but i can feel the positive vibes and that,s great¡ =oXO
=oXO awawa i,m small''' good to have positive vibes though yay¡¡ =oXO
Trranslation: "Imagine life is like a visit to th' ocean. Sometimes you'rre only gettin' th' worrst of it because you'rre in shallow and rrough waterrs that keep tossin' ya arround. Once ya swim past th' rroughness it gets easierr. Keep going."
Woke up at bloody sparrows fart from the kookaburras havin a laugh and takin the piss outta this lil grommy just ridin on his pushy to the servo.
Trranslation: "Woke up at dawn because of th' loud cackle of kookaburrrras. I'm now havin' a laugh and jokingly mockin' this child who is on a push bike to th' local serrvice station."
a cassowary is just an emu all scrubbed up for mardi gras headin down oxford! (dont approach cassowaries in the wild, theyll gut ya without blinkin) #HappyPride #violence
They'rre prretty shy actually. Just don't nick theirr eggs.
i got blocked for a heartfelt cultural exchange
goregle play nickleback
acca dacca and mrs macs meat pies, night sorted
local pub classic this one is #listeningnow https://open.spotify.com/track/687i9z2ZCKNfzpmzs7HxOu?si=749ca9e49d204a07
am i ever gonna see your face again? NO WAY GET FUCKED FUCK OFF! #lyricposting https://open.spotify.com/track/4aitU4belbggqbPGCDoZbD?si=a4aefe2fcbf94091
if theres no goon bags on the hills hoist im not goin to the gatho, dont care whos mates missus is throwin the bash #substances
Naurr mate I gotta disagrree with ya therre. Nice summerr arrvo wherre therre's a pool and a barrbie? Betcherr ass 'm therre. Bags on th' hoist orr not. #substance
yeah but how am i meant to get munted and legless if the goon isnt there? only so many tinnies of vb ya can smash before ya have an appointment with the porcelain throne #substance
Shiet mate, yerr on th' vb? Yeah naw that ain't worrth it. Spose i ain't th' sorrt t' get munted too often though. Each to theirr own yeah?
yeah mate, different strokes for different blokes. least we can all agree, kebabs after
Fuck yeah mate, ain't had a decent kebab in bloody ages.
if i hear another throw a shrimp on the barbie joke im gonna sic the emus on ya
nothin like a Bunnings snag until ya thong has a fuckin blow out in the middle of the bunnings carpark and ya gotta sprint before yer flattened like a lizard drinkin by a tradie in a work ute
Then ya drrop th' snag and it's all bloody overr.