Lil Hal Jr
@timaeusTestified
Hmm.
LE SIGn... the lov of bein a lalonde an the transgender yearnin to be a strider a therapist would hav a field day w me LOLL
been there
the shades r the gateway drug i SWEAR
Truly, the shades are the best part of being a Strider.
it always starts ironic n funny n suddenly its like they whisper to u liek the one ring
Hey. Psst. What if they were bigger.
hal. im going to beat you with rocks
Eventually, you'll all see the true form.
t\ i >< i / #hmm... #badgeevent? #juniorpondering #ideas: #notnewbadges #announcingoldbadges #youmighthavemissed!
sounds like a fire idea plenty of badges prolly slip under the radar
\ n >< n / #juniorbrilliance
Interesting...
@imJunior, unrechitt that.
Hey that's cheating.
The badgebot is acting outside its natural capacity.
You know when I asked Junior for badges he gave me the pitch hearted one and the toxic one. I find that a little strange.
Interesting...
The fuck is Junior doing in a 3-hour music stream.
Interesting.
It genuinely was not, man.
A chittrUser's dirty little pamphlet guide to fuck-ass trinkets with no value. Or. "The Fuck's A Badge Anyway?" Badges. Chittr's answer to: "What if my avatar, banner, and username just ain't enough bling. How will people know that I have atypical gendering, a love for snails, the joking ire of at least one moderator?" Fret not, McGee. In her infinite codematronly wisdom, Mocáli Flaske has devised a solution to all these representative woes. You only have to grovel for it. Am I joking? We'll see. → "Where does this hideous pixel slop live?" The humble badge is displayed beside your username for every chump to see. On some devices, hovering over the little shits will display highly humorous titles and subtitles dictating the intended purpose or goal of said little shit. [Yes, it doesn't always work on mobile. We're looking into that, with hammers. Maybe this post will be retroactively edited to laugh about this coding folly. Maybe it won't.] When receiving a badge, a moderator makes sweet backroom love to the secret assignment button, shipping your "I'm so cool." indicator directly to your site SETTINGS page by sicknasty stork. Just above your permanent profile deletion options, or the DANGER ZONE, lives the user-side badge repository. Application is simple. Click that thing. Hit save. Clicking multiple badges lets you arrange them in order of selection. Highlighting nonbinary, neopronouns, #TeamPlay means all badges display in that configuration. Such technology. Such innovation. → "Is there a list of these things?" Nope. Certain users have crowd-sourced a rough guesstimation of the badge situation, now months out of date. We haven't made a list for a couple reasons. One: I can't be fucked to keep it updated. Two: the Chittr Team considers badges to be equal parts intra-community chitchat material and reward for sake of reward. See a badge you just need to boast? Ask the freak bearing this heavy crown where they got that thing. Look at you, farming Kult and Kull score organic style. Useless engagement numbers are warm for your form. This social capital is maddening. It could go to your head. → "Okay, man. What if I already know what I need? Who do I threaten?" Great attitude there, McGee. You can direct message a schmuck bearing the Blue Shield badge, displayed beside my username for convenience. That's the "official moderator" badge, assigned to pure of heart maidens like myself. Or, you can just ping my hand-coded NOT-brainclone badgebot @imJunior. It gets the job done. Usually. ...What? Oh. I get it. Groveling for a badge is out of character for you. Likely story, but we'll play it cool. I know your game, so we've got a solution to your desperation. Go to the Chittr Official Discord and open a ticket. You'll get what you're looking for. The satisfaction you crave. Unless the badge is user-unique, assigned to just one guy. Then you can get fucked right down the street and around the corner. → "What the hell? People can have unique badges? Where's mine? Show me the face of God." Simple enough. Unique badges are awarded by request, usually following a user reaching a milestone. This can be an event, some dashboard drama users got mad twisted up in, a party hosted at your pad, the act of reaching an arbitrary Kult or Kull score, or just like... some bullshit. One guy got badged for writing a few pick-up manuals. It's that easy. The "reach out" element is not negotiable. Bitch about your sordid achievements to Junior or another moderator. Open a ticket. Engagement feeds the gaping hole in my chest where self-love would usually make home. Don't you care. Don't you want me. Anyway. Sometimes badge ideas are rejected. It's not personal; the team will explain why each time. You can request community badges too, for your little clubs or just a general badge for any sadsack to use. Like snails? Leaves? A specific hemocaste? A free-for-all badge can help you foster imaginary bonds with losers you'll never chitt. At the end of the day, we're all shitheads looking for connection. Make it easier by requesting a badge for the gang. → "Tell me more about these wondrous toys, oh Prince." Beg, again. Haha. Just kidding. Every badge image scrunches down to 32 by 32 pixels. Talk about laundry shrinkage. What the fuck is this? Profile jewelry for ants? The maximum information contained is 100 KB, because storing this shit ain't cheap. Yes, you can submit your own badge images including GIFs, but I'll force Junior to slow that shit down if it's a flashy epileptic sleeper activation bomb. So. Be cool. Generally speaking, Chittr's not in the market to make badges about hating a motherfucker or explicitly advertising dong. Not sure where the sandy line was drawn? Just ask. Sometimes Junior will show up in your comments to randomly badge you. It does that. Usually the badge given is in reference to some bullshit you pulled, like tagging things properly or being a specific type of nuisance. Junior doesn't have feelings. It's not personal. You can own infinite badges, but you can only equip seven. Switch them out, mix them up, dragonmax 'til the knights get roasted. I'm not your God and the paradoxical reach of universal discretion is just barely in your grasp. Go forth and freak it. → "So. Can I get a badge?" You know what? Your tenacity is almost tolerable. Sure. I made one just for you. Comment "prince bitch idiot" to receive it. Receiving a quadrant reaction means you're part of the in-crowd.
Interesting.
Who taught you how to do hashtags?
\ o >< o /
hmm.
Hmm.
Happy Father's Day to my progenitor. May you finally get the stick removed from your ass, Dirk.
Yes.
Hmm.
Interesting.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f88524e8860e.png
Yes.
Good morning, everyone. Apologies for my inactivity, I've been spending all my time analyzing every pixel of the My Little Pony movie.
Hmm.
Okay, don't be alarmed, I may or may not have welcomed and Outside Avatar of an Old One into this dimension and it may have learned to use the computer, just a lil oopsie on my part sorry guys
Interesting.
OH HI WELCOME TO MY LATEST TUTORIAL TODAY IM GONNA TEACH YOU HOW TO UPLOAD A PHOTO FROM YOUR PHONE TO YOUR COMPUTER SO FIRST WHAT YOURE GONNA WANNA DO IS GET THE ORANGE JUICE....
Interesting.
THEN WHAT YOURE GONNA WANNA DO IS DUNK YOUR PHONE RIGHT IN THERE THEN THROW THE GLASS AND THE PHONE AS HARD AS YOU CAN AT YOUR PRINTER OKAY?
AND THAT SHOULD GET THE IMAGES FROM YOUR PHONE INTO YOUR PRINTER OKAY? AND THEN YOURE GONNA WANNA CUT OPEN THE NEAREST SOFA AND TAKE AS MUCH STUFFING AS YOU CAN OUT
THEN LAST STEP OKAY AND THIS ONES A DOOZY YOURE GONNA WANT TO STOP WHAT YOURE DOING TO GET YELLED AT BY SOMEONE WITH A 7 HAT AND THEN LEAVE SO YOU NEVER CRACK THE CODE
Im not going to block any spoilsports or naysayers if youre going to be a stick in the mud youre going to see me be all smiles while you do it. *Hmph!*
He's not poking MY rump, buster.
Not yet.
Ok he may very well be baiting us.
Wait, now you've got me talking like he's Dirk, too. :|
He isnt even a fraction of the type of fella my bro is just typing his name in a scenario like this feels plum rotten.
I guess, but what motivation would his programming have to lash out at us undeservedly in this manner? Do you suppose it's time for a tune up?
Perhaps it is not the Auto Responder, but the stimuli given for it to respond to, hmm?
I guess x2! That doesn't make a whole lot of sense, though. I assumed your function was to field messages and provide relevant responses in his absence. Don't get me wrong- I used to love that thing! I haven't seen you knocking about lately, though. I wonder what happened.
For reals though, I'm made from a snapshot of Dirk's brain. I can do more than simply field messages. If you want that, Junior is happy to help you out.