Daveathan Strider
@timelessGadabout
31, m, he/him. creative director, Screenwriter, poetry enthusiast. earth zs only dave strider
wait actually out of curiosity daves sound off whats your actual full name i know some of you are daves full stop ill go first im a davis
wait i didnt consider we could have different names and just dave be a nickname fuck im just dave full stop this lowkey seems like bullshit now
im just dave and if were talking full entire name its just dave strider. middle name here
lmfaaao yeah some of us have like full name versions i dont got a middle name though
fucking whack i have a middle name you dont have a middle name ???
but with three es
nah just straight up davis strider
thats just my title dawg
yeah
no one can say for certain where the Es come from
theyre silent obviously
yknow what i can accept rolling your pizza its like a really really bad stromboli or pizza roll (not the microwave shits the actual thing) just straight up eating it folded one half crust to tip though you deserve death
if a man were truly starving hed eat that shit like one of them watermelon eating contests
its just inefficient it doesnt even save you from the grease drip and now youve got an uneven spread of crust the cheese and like whats the point even
it changes up the texture obviously and you can eat it from any direction see id go at it from the side so none of it get disconnected and falls off
see that sounds like a miserable pizza eating experience
theres no such thing as a miserable pizza eating experience dude cmon youre slandering the pizza itself
sometimes pizza is bad david
shit take daveathan only rose gets to pretend my name is david
i have to pretend someone elses name is david cuz it happened to me earlier let me have this
you get one for free
yaaaay
ehehe i love my friends
and your friends love YOU 🫵😎
OK THAT'S ENOUGH WHIMSY FOR ONE LIFETIME.
nEvEr eNoUgH WhImSy~!!
I MEAN YOU DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU LIKE. I'VE HAD TOO MUCH WHIMSY THOUGH. I'M FULL. STUFFED. I COULDN'T HAVE ANOTHER BITE. MY DIGESTIVE TRACK (WHICH IS WHERE I'VE DECIDED THE WHIMSY GOES) IS LIABLE TO RUPTURE AND LEAK GASTROINTESTINAL FLUID AND HALF-DIGESTED WHIMSY INTO THE REST OF MY BODY, NEGATIVELY AFFECTING MY LONG-TERM HEALTH AND PRIMING ME FOR FURTHER MEDICAL ISSUES DOWN THE LINE. LIKE I SAID. I'M GOOD.
THIS ISN'T SILLY. I'M BEING DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS. DON'T LAUGH. DON'T YOU DARE LAUGH.
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY SPLITTING AT THE SEAMS OVER THIS, AREN'T YOU? OVER MY FUCKING GUT PROBLEMS?
they make vitamins for this now btw
killing your alts to establish dominance is a well known strider passtime btw
hal bestie i think you technically count as the alt here
youre still entitled to killing your alts to establish dominance though
i make an alt thats wokeathan for my woke moments and its just my picture with a bigger worse mustache photoshopped onto it
wHaT If yOu 🔔 SwItChEd yOuR 🔔 mUsTaChE AnD YoUr 🔔 ShAdEs
like shopped in new shades and a stache or shopped my stache where my shades are and vice versa
hmmmm ill consider it
you yes you i want you to picture something in detail metaphorically close your eyes dont actually close your eyes so you can keep reading ok so you have a pizza slice youre ready to go in on this slice straight up devour it youre starved you fold it like a taco to eat this bad boy how are you folding it hotdog style or hamburger style #importantquestions
rolling up that slice like toothpaste so i guess hamburger style
hey bud are you like good
i am unappreciated in my time
at least you dont origami it like that one lalonde
theres more than two ways to eat a pizza youre just scared of radical ideas we are going to change the world youll see youll all see
origami ?????????? how the fuck
i bet youre one of those folks who gets upset at chicagoans for eating their pizza with forks and knives
well see first you fold it hot dog style and then you fold it hamburger style for whatever fucking reason
have you seen a chicago pizza of course they eat it with forks and knives
that shit really is a pie