♦ pitied by @timelessGadabout
what the FUCK
i took you in when nobody would. gave you a job. got you back on your feet and... this? this is how you fucking repay me? FINE! i'M going to drink a beer in the ablution trap
I must confess ive got myself a real case of the green eyed monster for that caterpillar of yours. Ive been trying to coax a proper beard out of this face since i was a gangly seventeen year old whippersnapper and the best ive ever managed looks like a patch of scraggly weeds that lost a fight with a lawnmower. So call me a babe the way i too am all over it!
Alexa play opening a can of whoopass on haughty b-list directors by me bass-boosted.
(\ /) oh, wow. you were getting down into the grit of it all there.
[MY RIT#HY HOT TAKE I$ THAT HUMAN$ ON THE $ITE $HOULD $TOP U$ING QUADRANT$ TO DEFINE THEIR RELATION$HIP$ LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN GO HERE??? ]
It’s okay I probably metaphorically deserved it somehow.
On second thought, if I hooked SYSERR up with a chittr account it would be SORELY disappointed with what goes on here. Might start trying to kill us again out of spite 😭
Seeing other versions of myself and my Brother makes me ever so slightly dread confronting versions of my dead childhood friends.
test isn't very conducive to the idea that you can be poly without it being a weird kink thing.
THAT'S THE LAST STRAW. COMMANDER VANTAS OUT.
fine. fine! i'll post it. just paints me in a bit of an intense light! cw gore, but he had it coming. as did his stupid gank-squad time clones. fun fact! when fighting a bunch of out of synch time duplicates of the same dude, they will all probably block the same way when you hit them with the force of a semi. you can't block a hammer like this without some serious grit. he did not have it.
i fully intended to forget this thank you for the assistance pal
YOUR TIME IS COMING, DAVID. SOON. —EMBER💥
literally was having some sharp cheddar spread with crackers and summer sausage. it's what inspired this!
OFFICIAL (personal) ANNOUNCEMENT! I will be entering an undisclosed period of combat training with @insufferablePrick. Outside the traditional chronology, that is. Which means that one of these days I will simply have already done it. Still working on the appropriate date on the calendar to not-pencil it in. So consider this my preemptive farewell from the Hyperbolic Time Chamber! Ta!! :B
oh ive heard this one broadcast across lohac before. its really catchy
THAИK U I HᏫPE U CAИ GET A BAG ᏫF TEETH TᏫᏫ
finally home! dinner was really nice even if dave still is the worst at smalltalk in all of human history
anyway. dave wearing his dorky shades at night makes me wonder if him having "aura" is worth him not being able to see shit because its 1am and he has shades in front of his eyes
Correct and thank you!
I am quite good at words, actually, when I am typing them! However whenever I try to communicate with you all in construct it doesn't seem to be understood. We seem to share a written language, but communicating it orally is difficult for me.
i think it's ok if some of you guys channel the creators but don't really talk or act like them! i support and believe in your bond anyway because that's what faith is all about!
OK4Y D33PLY UNS3TTL1NG 1T M4K3S M3 W4NT TO R3TURN TO TH3 WOODS 3V3N 1F 1T'S NOT MY 34RTH TH3Y'R3 FROM.
insert some shitty crying kaomoji copy/paste here for extra dramatics.
Tell me one of your famous truths, please.
Jack voice: I am going to fight the guy who has, in the four or five days since he got here, posted no less than three times about degloving someone for fun. #violence #gore (but only if you google degloving, which i reccommend) #pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease
Organizing and executing group breakfast with the #ExtendedAlphaKids is such a chore! If Jake votes IHOPE, Eridan insists on Offal House. Dirk's specifications on observing every exit from the corner are the least of my worries. And they MUST have vegan options on the menu, for Miss Priss @adiosToreador. ... Roxy and Callie don't pose much of an issue, actually. Unless the restaurant refuses to serve the bacon raw. Then the latter can get a little hangry.
i dont chase she says til she sea a dude with a well trimmed handlebar and turn into anne hegerty
casey i don't think you should be shouting "who is the big meat now". casey i think perhaps that is enough vinesauce god gamer compilation.
uh. i think so!
I'm At Work, I Will Be Back Later For Both.
D4MN OK 1 W1SH 1 COULD G3T MY F4C14L H41R TO DO TH4T.
ur strait up my greatest inspiration in this journey d
I am going to go meditate. Never burden your mind with things that do not matter.
btw, she’s hopelessly add1cted to 1t, and by 1t, 1 mean my- —- cat1on1cAgon1st (CA)’s palmhusk as been temporar1ly conf1scated!—-
I already made my nightly music posting And metatextually speaking, it'll be obnoxious if I do another tonight. If you catch my drift
well obviously not! but i KNOW you. so it's weird. i mean i "know" the others too, but you're MY dave. so it's like extra weird!!
i always click on blurred images before i've read any of the text they're under. gah..! :(
i should NOT have clicked on that. :I
xx_chchow_cannot_do_a_backflip_xx
If it's any consolation, there's at least one incredibly normal guy working there. Stick around him and you'll probably leave undrafted.
♦️█ ░ hi every0ne... ▒ ▓♦️ ♦️█ ░ s0rry. y0ur friend zebruh is. finished. there is. n0thing left. he is m0stly bald. his b0dy d0esnt w0rk anym0re. and he is. very. unalive. dude is like. dead type dead. n0t sure if i can w0rd that any m0re sensitively... ▒ ▓♦️ ♦️█ ░ if anyb0dy has a b0dy theyre n0t using...preferably...a m0re girl type 0ne...that uh...l00ks nice in knees0cks...please...ill take lightly used...0r in...m0stly g00d c0nditi0n...i f0rg0t h0w nice it is t0 talk t0 pe0ple... ▒ ▓♦️ ♦️█ ░ and it feels s0 wr0ng...desecrating the b0dy...0f s0me0ne wh0se death is s0 celebrated...and wh0 s0 many cared ab0ut...i really didnt kn0w... ▒ ▓♦️
SIGH. nooo. there isn't really anything to talk about. :/
i'm going to complain here because she's not on chittr and can't see it but like. what does "taking a break" even mean? are we together or not?? i tried to ask her, but she hasn't been answering my calls or texts. >:I
wwe knoww evvolution is random because wwhy the fuck did nature do that to cacklebeasts #iykyk
wwhatevver
zz:/
ok
how horrible. i wanted it to matter.
The potholes are still shitty @ midnight city mayor fix the god damn pot holes
ok packing it up cancelled im going to build a pillow fort in monument to them instead.
(this was a minor gaff nothing major)
pack it up boys i was trying to be funny mean but wound up just being mean. i have apologized and now i must go into self imposed exile until i have learned from my mistakes.
what do people find funny these days, anyways? skibidi toilet? six seven?
Tag Your Nsfw. #silly
xx_IF_U_LIEK_PENIS_COLADAS_xx
xx_if_he_gets_moar_notifs_on_his_poast_den_mine_igm_going_to_hold_up_a_big_sign_dat_sayz_misogyny_and_look_at_u_guys_rlly_disappointedly_xx
xx_STOLGE_MY_JOAK?_HEY?_xx
ii <3 corndogs but ii hate thiis part *stiicks hands iin oiil to retriieve you* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
of course anytime dude they also all have little articles of clothing it’s awesome
alright im gonna just not announce hangnights until i stop having things that need to be done. sorry again everyone!
precision timing minigames can die in hell forever and so can score attack what do you MEAN i have to shave an entire half second???
holy mackarel i think that gaslighting shit vantas used to yammer on aboat is reel. i KNOW what these fools horns look like
cool with me then he goes and i dont know where the urethra is walks outside and gets skewered by an icicle and goes no my swedish penis pump enlarged penis just exploded then i kicked his ass down a hill he goes aaaaah curse you strider he probably got my name from peaking at the rideshare app btw smashes through a bunch of guys carrying thick panes of glass his head gets stuck in a billboard of a rhinos ass with the caption what a zoo animal plastered above his bitch ass wowie zowee all kidding aside i think he dine and dashed he was still in there when we left but i dont know what the fuck his plan was for avoiding the debt besides the aforementioned rhinobutt ski theory
just overheard a guy generationally fumble he goes can you pay for these drinks his date goes why hehe are you going through it or something bear in mind her hand was reaching for her purse then he says naw my debit card is just frozen this week because of online gambling she goes ew haha and this motherfucker stands up and goes im not feeling all that respected right now jess pack it in i dont tell you what to do with your money she looked down and didnt look back up for a solid minute he starts talking about how he could put her through college how this puts their future plans in question asking what else shes got an attitude about realize shes got one of those rideshare apps open i work for like six the god lord delivers my phone buzzes jessieeeeee requesting a ride .1 miles from your location hit accept
o| I SuRe hOpE My pOsT AbOuT InCeSt dIdN'T LeAd tO HoUrS Of dEbAtE Or sMtHiNg #iNcEsT #mEnTiOn-nOt-aCtIvE |o
i really need to after the shit i just saw enough to send a girl into psychosis goddamn
To the tune of We Wish You A Merry Christmas We wish you a Staples Christmas, We wish you a Staples Christmas, We wish you a Staples Christmas, also, they should sell beer. How cool would that be, if Staples sold beer? Just loose ones in a big fridge. I could drink while I shopped. There should be beer at Staples, There should be beer at Staples, There should be beer at Staples 'cause I don't like my kids. Holidays are hard, 'cause my kids are so weird. Staples would be better if I could just have one beer. The kids only want printer ink, The kids only want printer ink, The kids only want printer ink and I'm not so sure why. Oh, give me a beer, to forget how life is. I married a weird woman and the kids turned out strange. They don't like stuff like Hot Wheels, They don't like stuff like Hot Wheels, They don't like stuff like Hot Wheels so it's another Staples Christmas.
| dreAm About her
>> He ¡ડ ડo #daddyceocore
⧃ The lack of proper facial hair besides the mustache is still marks off.
>> ¡ have no c1ue how he'ડ gonna react, ¡'m ડorry ¡f ¡ threw you ¡nto the how1beaડt den He fee1ડ very ડtrong1y about fac¡a1 ha¡r
i stand by it. not everyone needs a babyface forever.
it's a really cute look.
cheese enchiladas betrayed me. my hot girl tummy issues have returned.
takin it on the chin here cuz im bein escorted like hannibal lector to max security rn. being president fucking sucked. i missed my moireel. im naut the boss beach the condesce was. youre free to throe har hars and tomatoes at me but use #meenahcoup still if you gonna to @barackObama theres acshoally literally extra versions of the same desk in the closet down the hall from the oval office. so just grab one of those
bingo also ill be real with you empathy has done fuckall for treatin people the right way or prosocial or whatever
so! what do we do around here? just joke and gab? hope our chits don't get lost in a deluge of other posts equally as desperate for attention and validation? share our deepest darkest secrets and insecurities? i'll go last! haha.
Only Those Pure Of Bloodpusher Can View " Twink " Jenga.
It's Okay Because He Dislocated My Shoulder Once. #violence
I Really Did Break Off My Ex Kis' Horn While We Were " Going At It ", That Was Not A Joke. What We Had Was Deeply Unhealthy, But I Do Miss It Sometimes. #nsfc #nsfwe #violence
I Need You All To" Lock In " And Stop Falling Into The Prongs Of These " Cartoon " Villains. Surely There Are Less Embarrassing Evil Entities That You Could Submit To. #suggestive #nsfc
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=>>eichard i justbwørk up>>>
what an unfortunate time for ennui, damn