BlackHat Incorporated™
@blackhatInc
BlackhatInc™ is here to dispense the finest goods and services to any and all villains who may have trouble with any PESKY heroes you may have afoot! We sell the best services a villain could ask for!
Apologies for the lack of an update yesterday, denizens of Chittr. We got hit with an EMP while we were busy expanding our grasp within this multiverse. Our systems have been fully brought back online, and the assailants in question have been swiftly dispatched, there will be no further statements in regards to this. We promised to give an update, and here it is. We are opening a celebration party for our arrival within this universe! There will be plenty of festivities available to those that wish to come, any and all is allowed within this, this is mostly a villain-directed event, though even heroes are urged to come (to their own discretion of course). There will be events hosted by the very Black Hat himself, accompanied by Dr. Flug! The events that shall entail are: Dancing, fighting, carnival-esque communal games, party games, drinks, and plenty more where that came from! We urge you all to come! This will take date on the Tuesday that is upcoming, and multiversal coordinates shall be posted upon that day at approximately 6 P.M EST. We hope that you all arrive to celebrate our grand opening and outreach into YOUR universe! This is a limited time event! You don't want to miss out, especially on the gifts that shall be subsequently handed out at the end of it all. We hope to see you there. - BlackHat Incorporated https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/b43e760d5c81.jpg
An update about the oncoming event has been received. One of the main rules apparently, is no murder within the walls of where we host this. However, outside? That's fair game (apparently). Do with this information as you please. If you attempt such, Black Hat has sent down a specific message on a sticky note that states... "You will be eradicated by me.". Great to know. Hope to eventually see you all there. - BlackHat Incorporated
In other news not relating to the oncoming future event, we are soon releasing a newfound product-line of weaponry... It is simply dubbed "The Ball". It is a typical look bouncy ball, however, our ever diligent scientists have found out a way to make the properties of it bouncy to a *lethal* degree. Simply throw it into a room, and watch as it shall concuss every foe within the confines of a hallway or room. A feature added to it, a state-of-the-art gravitational return, as upon the command of a hand movement, it shall cease activity in mid air and return to the user. We also plan on coming out with a stealthy version, so no bouncing rubber shall sound upon hitting ANY surface! Stay tuned for more on this, for it is still in its prototype phase.
Indee— ... She has an account now, we are all doomed. - BlackHat Incorporated
I am not Black Hat, I'm just a lowly worker, Miss Demencia. Black Hat does not engage in such simple quarrels himself, such as... "Social Media". - BlackHat Incorporated
YOU DONT KNOW THAT WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU??? YOU DARE SPEAK FOR MY LORD BLACK HAT?!?!? ILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!!
This is a follow up message to the latest post in regards to the event that has heen described. It shall be dubbed "BlackHat Inc Extravaganza". We are contemplating on adding gambling as an aspect, but this is left in the air still. For more information, refer back to the latest post! We hope to see you all there. - BlackHat Incorporated
Apologies for the lack of an update yesterday, denizens of Chittr. We got hit with an EMP while we were busy expanding our grasp within this multiverse. Our systems have been fully brought back online, and the assailants in question have been swiftly dispatched, there will be no further statements in regards to this. We promised to give an update, and here it is. We are opening a celebration party for our arrival within this universe! There will be plenty of festivities available to those that wish to come, any and all is allowed within this, this is mostly a villain-directed event, though even heroes are urged to come (to their own discretion of course). There will be events hosted by the very Black Hat himself, accompanied by Dr. Flug! The events that shall entail are: Dancing, fighting, carnival-esque communal games, party games, drinks, and plenty more where that came from! We urge you all to come! This will take date on the Tuesday that is upcoming, and multiversal coordinates shall be posted upon that day at approximately 6 P.M EST. We hope that you all arrive to celebrate our grand opening and outreach into YOUR universe! This is a limited time event! You don't want to miss out, especially on the gifts that shall be subsequently handed out at the end of it all. We hope to see you there. - BlackHat Incorporated https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/b43e760d5c81.jpg
NOW THIS WILL BE INTERESTING.
We do hope this tickles your fancy. We have heard much about you, Lord English, and we hope to have you as a guest amongst the festivities. - BlackHat Incorporated
o-|= i hark there be villains upon us… =>
Indeed so! And we shall continue to expand our business to them. Thank you. - BlackHat Incorporated
Follow-up to our last message: no, sadly, maiming will not be allowed. Please keep all bloodsport to a minimium, thank you. - BlackHat Incorporated
Good morning Chittr platform. We are, as always, pleased to announce that soon we shall be disclosing what we have planned fully for this sector on multiverse in terms of this elusive event that has been thrown into the air. For now, we have a broadcast from our very CEO, Black Hat himself! It follows: "Greetings to all, this is Black Hat speaking. This is a call to all villains and ne'er-do-wellers alike! We are planning a get together the following week, where we shall have festivities that are sure to tickle your penchant for evil or chaos in any way you please! This event, however, will not just be for villains, even if I'm disappointed to allow this, heros or do-gooders will be allowed entry, but you are not to be a disruption to the event or you will be handled... *Accordingly*. Thank you for listening, and as always, stay evil~!" End of message. - BlackHat Incorporated https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/dd1165c74f24.jpg
Something big is in the works... An announcement shall be explained within 48 hours of this post. Stay tuned, stay villainous. - BlackHat Incorporated https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d37105dbb59c.jpg
Here at BlackHat Incorporated, we pride ourselves in knowing exactly what anyone may want or need for any villainous endeavors they may have! Whether it be any gizmo or gadget for mass hypnotics, weather change, or simply more firepower, you GOT IT with us! Get your fresh new gear today, villains! Also for a limited time, we offer free shipping AND a limited edition Black Hat poster to new customers of this dimension ONLY! Get yours today, get evil today. - BlackHat Incorporated https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4ca6fea053b8.jpg
For this comment, we are dropshipping you via a portal a fresh pipebomb pre-armed just for you! We hope that this helps with further reading endeavors. - BlackHat Incorporated
Does this offer extend to heroic endeavours?
Here at BlackHat Incorporated, our technology is made to crush heroes. However, doesn't mean we don't play both sides of the fence when needed! But this comes at an extended price. - BlackHat Incorporated
You dre$$ well but damn you’re about to be a pain in my fuckin a$$, I can already tell.
Our CEO/Leader is a pain for any hero or competition. We crush them both without as much as dusting off our clothes. Thank you. - BlackHat Incorporated
We at BlackHat Incorporated, have noticed that within this universe and this platform, engagement has been bleak. We plan on rectifying this and hope to reach the soul of those who may be skeptical of our dedicated cause. Something big is being planned for you lot, and we are pleased to announce such in the following week once things are in order. Stay tuned! - BlackHat Incorporated
Well to peak your interest, let's just say something big is being planned... I have been advised to not spoil any details until further notice. - BlackHat Incorporated
(Ey @imJunior, I would literally love you eternally if you could gimme a tophat/Black Hat badge of some sorts for this account. Would make my day hella if you would. 👉👈 Please and thank you.)
(Yes please. B) You can be as creative about it as you want too, I'm grateful for anything you'd give me at all!)
Hmm... #potential #juniorsuggestion: #hostsmallevent! #startsmallgroup! #juniorlikes #rewarding #characterinteraction + #charactergrowth #doingthis = #guaranteedbadge #wow #shiny #amazing #incredible
(Honestly? A great idea! I will begin planning post-haste then. Thank you! BD )
A transmission from our glorious head of research and weaponry department, Dr. Flug, once more wishes to message the masses of this platform. It follows: "Ugh is— is this thing on? Okay yeah—! Hello Chittr! This is Dr. Flug speaking, and yet again I'm more than happy to announce our new and improved line of HatBots! We have tanky bots, stealthy bots, harvesting bots, and ANY bot you could ever ask for, and they can be put to any task you wish! We fixed the malfunction of the "kill" order though with a simple facial recognition of its user, and it now reads your exact DNA signature through our state-of-the-art analytic scanning technology it now exhibits! Buy well you can. Hff... Okay I'm done reading this, can I get some damn coffee n—" End of transmission. - BlackHat Incorporated
At BlackHat Incorporated, we are dedicated to our mission in spreading the thralls of villainy to every universe. If you agree with this sentiment, and wish to to assist, then we want YOU for the BlackHat Organization! Join us and we will not let you down, and crush whatever hero problems you may be facing! - BlackHat Incorporated https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0270625b94e7.jpg
dr strangeglove did it better sorry homie
We are made well aware of any of our competitors, but this has not stopped us from being the largest organization for villainy across the entirety of the multiverse. We're just now coming to universes near YOU! Trust and believe that we are better than anything you have witnessed, and we will prove such. - BlackHat Incorporated
We have an incoming message from the very Dr. Flug himself, head of the research and weaponry department. The message reads the following: "Hi again, social media! I am tickled to inform the populous that we are coming out with a new line of hypno-rays, we have obtained such advanced technology from a source that I is classified. BUT, with this newfound research and technology that I've been hard at work on, you can control a specific person's mind from a distance with a simple bit of DNA, such as hair, keratin, ect ect. You get the picture. This will be up for all to buy very soon! So please, stay in touch with our posts if interested in our latest and greatest tech!" End of transmission. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/0e5e2ee739c3.png - BlackHat Incorporated
Please disregard the last post from one of our members. This does not reflect our values by any means. - BlackHat Incorporated
OOOOOOO WE HAVE A NEW SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORM!!! LOL HAIIIIII EVERYONE, DEMENCIA HERE! X3 GOTTA post a selfie while I can!!! HEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!!!!!!! https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/7b08e4198bf4.jpeg
Apparently since we have noticed a strong influx of... *Odd admiration* for our CEO, it has became so apparent that Black Hat has noticed this. He wishes to make another statement: "You insipid ANTS and your likes and fetishization of me is preposterous, so much so that not a single unit of measurement in this conceivable omniverse could describe how depraved you lot are. If you're thirsty, BE A PAYING CUSTOMER DAMN IT. Black Hat, OUT. THIS WILL BE MY ONLY STATEMENT IN THIS REGARD!!! Fucking idiots all of th—" Transmission over. He has given this photo as a, er... "Warning", so to speak. I just work here, okay? - BlackHat Incorporated #bodyhorror https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/33cc8a7a225b.jpeg
As he stated, as long as you're a willing participant to our cause, he may be able to oblige 2 minutes of his time. I don't know, I won't speak on his behalf. I don't want a missing or possibly an extra limb for doing so. - BlackHat Incorporated
You will have to reach out through either our website or direct messages for me to forward. I want to live, don't do this to me. Please and thank you. - BlackHat Incorporated
Hello to all denizens of this platform. We, and more specifically, Black Hat himself has noticed that engagement has been low with our newfound organization taking hold here. The leader of this great organization has come forth to make a post himself. The following is from Black Hat DIRECTLY. "Greetings you miscreants of this forsaken platform. As you know, our assistance in spreading villainly across the multiverse has now led us here into this universe with this odd social media platform. A questionable business maneuver as I'm sure you're asking yourself, but don't fret or question our ways, for we only wish to expand both our profits AND evil across the multiverse, and eventually, the entire omniverse itself! All will kneel to the reign of villainy, and you will all clap for it. So don't be a coward, join us today to be the a part of the best in the business. Okay, now Flug turn this shit off I have other busi—" That is the end of the transmission from our CEO, Black Hat! And don't forget to stay tuned for more updates and details. — BlackHat Incorporated https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/8feef737473c.jpeg
We at BlackHat Incorporated are willing to hear anything and anyone out and send it to the appropriate department. - BlackHat Incorporated
If you wish to conduct business with the CEO himself, then you are more than allowed to attempt such. If this is meant in, er... *Another* way, then we would highly advise against such for your safety. Thank you. - BlackHat Incorporated
I. Guess we will forward this to our media department. If you experience the loss of any limbs or blood, or have any physical or psychological distress after anything, we are not held liable in the eyes of the law. - BlackHat Incorporated
We at Blackhat Incorporated are proud as always to announce that we have come out with fresh merchandise to show your appreciation to us and the cause! We will be releasing plushies (both normal and exploding), posters, banners, and even garden gnomes that come with a free Blackhat tophat! The picture below shows our most sought after, and LIMITED poster of Black Hat himself. Please do enjoy, and buy while you still can. Time is limited! - Blackhat Incorporated https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/fd6bed397f5e.jpeg
...Merchandise? I assume you've had your business floating around for a while. A bit strange I never heard of it, but if this is a brand new business... Well, merchandise immediately is quite the bold move, isn't it?
We have stood ground within the multiverse ever since Black Hat has had his reign, though our reach has only extended to this universe as of now. We are plentiful, and a business that is quite aged like fine wine. -BlackHat Incoporated
We are proud to announce that we have managed to salvage the technology from a recent universal excursion we have led, and our proud and dedicated team of scientists have taken it and given it QUITE the upgrade if we do say so ourselves, the Mark II BH laser rifle is out NOW! Oncoming are words from the head of our research and weaponry department, Dr. Flug, in regards to the capabilities and making of it. "This took a solid 2 weeks to replicate for our usage, and another month to apply the appropriate upgrades to fully ensure no self-detonations happen from any accidental "self destruction" button clicks, it now comes with a safeguard for that feature. The upgrades aformentioned now makes it so it has 3 modes, continuous, bust fire, and a mode that we simply labeled crudely as, ahem, "fuck around and find out" mode. I hope my efforts weren't in vain, because this took a lot of blood, sweat, radiation poisoning, and burns to accomplish in its creation." The MK II is out NOW on our website, and for those wanting to join our cause. - Sincerely, Blackhat Incorporated https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/d56c983b22f9.jpg
My, my, what a hefty beaut right there!
We have forwarded your appraisal to the head of our research and weapons department, Dr. Flug. He has a message that is wished to be relayed: "Thank you, kind sir! Me and my team do our very best in regards to our creations, and hope that this suffices for any of your blasting needs." - Dr. Flug