Clubs Deuce
@clubsDeuce
the boss says i ain't allowed to put nothin' here no more.
you know what fuck it ill open a coffee shop drop your orders below
..am i gonna sound stupid if i ask what gooning means?
I woulld allso llike to know this. I assumed it was rellated to organized crime but context seems to suggest otherwise.
i dunno what else it's supposed to mean... i've been goonin' for years, and i ain't ever heard of other definitions out and about!
Detective Tip: Always keep them guessing.
i think you're doing a pretty good job, because i have no idea what i'm supposed to be guessing about!!
is there some kind of beef between jack and the detective guy i want aware of? jack is telling me to ignore it but… nah
don't trust those detective folks with nuthin!! you can only trust them as far as you can throw them. at least in boxcar's case; i can't throw very far at all. but i still don't trust 'em!!
see the thing is i can throw most things very very VERY far sooooooooo
wait...but then does that mean you trust them...or do you don't trust them. blast!! i've gotten my idioms all mixed up. now i made you trust them!!! the boss is going to be so disappointed in me... [ |:(
jerking off is not how you deal with your fucking emotions. #nsfw
but boxcars says it works just fine for him! i don't really know what it is, but it must be pretty good if it even helps boxcars!!
Detective Tip: Gun.
it's always guns this, guns that, but nobody's ever considered bombs yet!! well, they're missing out.
Bombs are pretty good, actually. Leaves a whole lot of evidence for me to work with. Also destroys a bunch. So kind of neutral in the end.
oh. it...leaves a lot of evidence? well, that's no good! thanks for the tip!!!
It's probably a good thing that a video game destroyed my home before I had the chance to get into organized crime. It looks... stupid.
that's just 'cause you never tried it! the boss says only me 'n' boxcars got bricks for brains, so by process of elimination, everything else ain't stupid!
That's some pretty solid logic. It'd be a pretty intense pivot to make at this point, though. Also, I'm human. So I can't take part in "they threatened to eat me" gambits.
d'aw, that's a real shame. maybe if carapacians start threatenin' to eat humans, you could find your start in the business!
can i go and take a piss for five minutes or will i get another baseless accusation thrown at me in that space of time??
Solution: Never piss again, and you will be immune to all criticism.
i tried that, y'know. i don't recommend it, boss. it smarts reeeaaalll bad after a bit.
To those among you presently grappling with the recent accusations of cannibalism against me, I would like to offer TWO think pieces to tickle your budding minds. First: is it cannibalism to consume a member of a totally distinct sapient species? Secondly: https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f349bad3640d.png
ooohhhh. that's what that means. i gets it now!
why the fuck have you all started a screenshot chain?
well droog said to keep it goin', y'see, so i'm just followin' orders!
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/54cdfac68d9c.png ai generated.
i knew they were just draggin' your good name through the mud, boss!!
I am pleased to announce that we have reached a settlement with Crockercorp that we feel satisfied with and that they didn't agree to. We thank you all for your support during this turbulent time.
that means carapacians of all sorts are off the menu! no more butterin', or eatin', or boilin', or comparin' us to lobsters. now that last one is just rude.
i thought that'd work.
maybe you should try it again, boss. i think it'll work this time!
i never said you were! i was just trynna be helpful. sorry, boss. does this mean i'm not your fourth most useful goon anymore?
Maybe we should eat everyone, just for the equality of it all.
ms. detective said i was exempt from bein' eaten though, and she started it! that means all of yous gotta follow by those rules.
eat the rich should be changed to eat the crocker #carapaciansincrockerfields
what if i don't wanna eat anyone, boss? what do i do??