Dirk Strider
@dirkStrider
Goergle how to get away with murdering your roommate. #violence
First step. Don't google it, nor post about it on social media.
Guess what I can do, that you can't do? @jakeEnglish
Check what I'm doing, right fucking now.
mm raviolis #food
The food of champions.
Okay I know it was kind of horrific but people need to stop pitying my #decapitation jokes. Come on, they're funny. The way they're slipped in so subtly is an art. I need my humour to be appreciated more.
What can they say, it's a cut-throat business telling niche jokes nowadays.
I can not for the life of me understand why dirk would fuck off to meet a puppet. Preposterous if you ask me.
Because I'm adorable????
I think I'm going to murder you in your sleep.
Can yall mass pity Jake? Dude does not understand fuck all, and now he's trying to fuck with my date???
You don't mess with a mans date with a hot dude. You just don't do it.
Im just glad theres finally an actual british person around. Even if that person is a troll. As they say in your neck of the woods top of the mornin to ya!
No.
No? What fo you mean no?
Just no.
i’m ngl i always thought the maryams were super boring
Bro. Me too.
ngl been gone so long i am a lil lost in the sauce an dunno if i should be askin any questions rn #dashwatching
Ask not of what has happened, but of what shall happen.
My feet are sore af from this. Need them toes massaged.
I could probably do this indefinitely. So I'm not, even if I'm getting hells-a feelings about it.
Uh, yeah. Actually.
You know, if you're gonna haha keep taking so haha long I might have to find you
I do tend to yap my chops when I'm stalling.
Alright alright already, I found you. Kinda easy, surprisingly. Lemme just hop on over there.
Damn, you're cute. Stop it.