♦ pitied by @dirkStrider
i've had an idea this place exists outside of space time, and what we're about to do fucks with both. expect updates. wish us luck. pray to yourselves because we're going to need all the help of gods we can
...huh. #selfwatching
T̶h̵e̸ ̵ ̸n̶u̶m̷b̴e̶r̷ ̴y̴o̴u̸ ̶h̸a̸v̸e̷ ̵d̵i̴a̵l̷e̸d̸ ̸i̸s̷ ̷n̵o̸t̴ ̵i̵n̶ ̶s̵e̶r̵v̵i̵c̴e̶.̶ ̴P̸l̵e̸a̸s̵e̷ ̴h̶a̴n̷g̶ ̸u̴p̴ ̷a̷n̷d̷ ̷t̶r̶y̴ ̸y̵o̶u̴r̷ ̷c̴a̶l̶l̴ ̵a̴g̶a̶i̸n̸ ̶l̴a̵t̸e̶r̷.̵ ̶ ̵G̸o̸o̶d̵b̵y̵e̶.̵ ̷
They just let anything have a chittr profile nowadays huh!
best thing a man can be is pathetic sec∞nd best: have huge tits 😇✨ #suggestive
i like girls. :B
nah i'm fully baked 8J
♦️█ ░ s0 like. when y0u put w0rds next t0 0ne an0ther. ▒ ▓♦️ ♦️█ ░ they f0rm whats called...a sentence... ▒ ▓♦️ ♦️█ ░ each individual w0rd...when put t0gether...gives the wh0le sentence. a wh0le meaning...s0 in my...j0king p0st...i accuse y0u 0f being ableist...f0r asking if im blind. because im literally dead. the hum0r. c0mes fr0m implying...s0me kind 0f impr0priety. like there is a scandal...in chatting up the dead... ▒ ▓♦️ ♦️█ ░ still f0ll0wing? ▒ ▓♦️
oh my god is that stupid clock that showed up the countdown for the i'm gonna fucking ooooooooooooooo i'm going to have a conniption. or an aneurism. maybe flip off the handle again if my back doesn't give out first that was only half a joke i could probably still do a backflip if i tried
someone sound the twink alarm
Ive somehow just briefly achieved the exact same visual effect with my real eyes that you get with the minecraft nausea debuff. That might be my sign to head back home for the day!
oh god. oh no fuckfuckfuckfuckufck not here
Hoping for proper communication from an english is the pinnacle of naivety bro. Sorry!
Damn. Oh well, can't stop every fish from flaking.
A chittrUser's dirty little pamphlet guide to fuck-ass trinkets with no value. Or. "The Fuck's A Badge Anyway?" Badges. Chittr's answer to: "What if my avatar, banner, and username just ain't enough bling. How will people know that I have atypical gendering, a love for snails, the joking ire of at least one moderator?" Fret not, McGee. In her infinite codematronly wisdom, Mocáli Flaske has devised a solution to all these representative woes. You only have to grovel for it. Am I joking? We'll see. → "Where does this hideous pixel slop live?" The humble badge is displayed beside your username for every chump to see. On some devices, hovering over the little shits will display highly humorous titles and subtitles dictating the intended purpose or goal of said little shit. [Yes, it doesn't always work on mobile. We're looking into that, with hammers. Maybe this post will be retroactively edited to laugh about this coding folly. Maybe it won't.] When receiving a badge, a moderator makes sweet backroom love to the secret assignment button, shipping your "I'm so cool." indicator directly to your site SETTINGS page by sicknasty stork. Just above your permanent profile deletion options, or the DANGER ZONE, lives the user-side badge repository. Application is simple. Click that thing. Hit save. Clicking multiple badges lets you arrange them in order of selection. Highlighting nonbinary, neopronouns, #TeamPlay means all badges display in that configuration. Such technology. Such innovation. → "Is there a list of these things?" Nope. Certain users have crowd-sourced a rough guesstimation of the badge situation, now months out of date. We haven't made a list for a couple reasons. One: I can't be fucked to keep it updated. Two: the Chittr Team considers badges to be equal parts intra-community chitchat material and reward for sake of reward. See a badge you just need to boast? Ask the freak bearing this heavy crown where they got that thing. Look at you, farming Kult and Kull score organic style. Useless engagement numbers are warm for your form. This social capital is maddening. It could go to your head. → "Okay, man. What if I already know what I need? Who do I threaten?" Great attitude there, McGee. You can direct message a schmuck bearing the Blue Shield badge, displayed beside my username for convenience. That's the "official moderator" badge, assigned to pure of heart maidens like myself. Or, you can just ping my hand-coded NOT-brainclone badgebot @imJunior. It gets the job done. Usually. ...What? Oh. I get it. Groveling for a badge is out of character for you. Likely story, but we'll play it cool. I know your game, so we've got a solution to your desperation. Go to the Chittr Official Discord and open a ticket. You'll get what you're looking for. The satisfaction you crave. Unless the badge is user-unique, assigned to just one guy. Then you can get fucked right down the street and around the corner. → "What the hell? People can have unique badges? Where's mine? Show me the face of God." Simple enough. Unique badges are awarded by request, usually following a user reaching a milestone. This can be an event, some dashboard drama users got mad twisted up in, a party hosted at your pad, the act of reaching an arbitrary Kult or Kull score, or just like... some bullshit. One guy got badged for writing a few pick-up manuals. It's that easy. The "reach out" element is not negotiable. Bitch about your sordid achievements to Junior or another moderator. Open a ticket. Engagement feeds the gaping hole in my chest where self-love would usually make home. Don't you care. Don't you want me. Anyway. Sometimes badge ideas are rejected. It's not personal; the team will explain why each time. You can request community badges too, for your little clubs or just a general badge for any sadsack to use. Like snails? Leaves? A specific hemocaste? A free-for-all badge can help you foster imaginary bonds with losers you'll never chitt. At the end of the day, we're all shitheads looking for connection. Make it easier by requesting a badge for the gang. → "Tell me more about these wondrous toys, oh Prince." Beg, again. Haha. Just kidding. Every badge image scrunches down to 32 by 32 pixels. Talk about laundry shrinkage. What the fuck is this? Profile jewelry for ants? The maximum information contained is 100 KB, because storing this shit ain't cheap. Yes, you can submit your own badge images including GIFs, but I'll force Junior to slow that shit down if it's a flashy epileptic sleeper activation bomb. So. Be cool. Generally speaking, Chittr's not in the market to make badges about hating a motherfucker or explicitly advertising dong. Not sure where the sandy line was drawn? Just ask. Sometimes Junior will show up in your comments to randomly badge you. It does that. Usually the badge given is in reference to some bullshit you pulled, like tagging things properly or being a specific type of nuisance. Junior doesn't have feelings. It's not personal. You can own infinite badges, but you can only equip seven. Switch them out, mix them up, dragonmax 'til the knights get roasted. I'm not your God and the paradoxical reach of universal discretion is just barely in your grasp. Go forth and freak it. → "So. Can I get a badge?" You know what? Your tenacity is almost tolerable. Sure. I made one just for you. Comment "prince bitch idiot" to receive it. Receiving a quadrant reaction means you're part of the in-crowd.
Happy #thighhighthursday to all my thigh-high wearers out there!
I can not for the life of me understand why dirk would fuck off to meet a puppet. Preposterous if you ask me.
@containedArmageddons you call me lame, and yet this is you.
oh nobody liked that one huh
(°. d𖦹 y𖦹u als𖦹 kn𖦹w pe𖦹ple wh𖦹 make y𖦹u think s𖦹mething like "w𖦹w they'd better dr𖦹wn in their 𖦹wn v𖦹mit" .°)
Yuh-huh!
Yeah it does :3
Yuh-huh
Yuh-huh
all you guys do on this stupid app is pity me... #vwhatsthatallabout #explain #hurt
it means exactly what i said bro try not to think too hard
i didnt think it was real until it happened t0 me s0 i guess it is
Contrary to what people say i actually think its very healthy to cry while knocking boots.
i wanna say n0 but it happened t0 me s0
Fork found in kitchen. Fish found in ocean. Yet another dirk strider found behaving exactly as expected. It gets even more shocking after the 50th time. Trust me bro.
Apparently.
.✦ ݁˖ 𑄝੭ 3V3RY80DY H4T3Z M333333!!!!!!!!!!! F4WKKWKWK!!!!!!!!! 𑄝੭ .✦ ݁˖
and y0u, zunnie.
_ I saw a spider die toniGHt. A small one riGHt next to my desk. _ THe creature fell from its web, clearly infirm. Difficulty movinG. PerHaps nearinG tHe end of its lifespan. It limped to a flat surface to roll on its back and deatH curl. Only to flip over and die upriGHt. _ One may call tHis a melancHoly siGHt, but one must remember. Moments like tHese Happen all tHe time. THis was simply a moment in wHicH tHe last moments of a livinG beinG were perceived by a neutral observer. A part of life. _ If anytHinG, I’m Grateful tHe creature lived a full life before passinG at my desk. _ MusinGs aside, I really must clean up in tHis corner. _ #cw-animal-deatH #deatH #violence but not really. I didn’t kill it.
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ Kinda want that old man #suggestive #inderectpost #icouldhelphimrelax
Yes, yes. I really bit my boot there. Look if I send you a yacht to Texas can we square this away?
Oh you meant it like that. My apologies, lad. I'm a bit wound up.
vwhat a major bitch. a guy pours his heart out, tries to connect, and this is vwhat he gets. #notsurprised #hurt #darkthoughts
i think i might have accidentally uploaded a picture of my penis. whoops. #nsfw #accident #damnit!
Might fuck around and look at some of other people's embarrassing memories or something. Keep everyone on their toes.
Oh shit? Aight, I see you. 8ut you still ain't no "king of pir8s", jit. ::::/
When did a lengthy grocery list find its way onto the refrigerator? I was under the impression he was writing this fully on his little tappy pad?
Monday comes after Sunday, has this been studied???
Apologies for my last post. It appears he took that as a queue to immediately toss on the offspring and absolutely blast my lugholes!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This whole thing is turning out more amusing than I anticipated.
\ aut1sm /
Im fairly certain that is his affliction. Though i am not a doctor. I cant be a full 100%.
What the devilfucking dickens possesses a man to replay the same song over ten times in a row?
Hes blasting music. Im not sure how to feel about this. Its shaking my entire room. The entire apartment even!!!
I take it as a mark of pride whenever an English disapproves of what I say by the way.
I don't see why you think this applies to you Crocker.
I implicitly disapprove of everything this man is doing.
I would rather be bias than complicit in your lessers terrible jollities.
That is just the manly musk of adventure dirk. Youre far too engulfed in parfums and dainty things. Perhaps sweat a little. Yes?
Ugh!!! Is that why?? Ive been asking you ten fold why i only see your feed. Drat! You scoundrel.
Must you say things that lack any and all meaning?
Forgive me for still being regrettably discombobulated.
Egad. How do you navigate this dadblasted thing? I had dirk set up my profile and im still woefully confused.
Aside from tasting a little metallic id say i did a fine job with that meal for a man who was holding a wad of paper towel against his hand the whole time he was cooking. Hooray for me.