♦ pitied by @dirkStrider
Happy #thighhighthursday to all my thigh-high wearers out there!
I can not for the life of me understand why dirk would fuck off to meet a puppet. Preposterous if you ask me.
@containedArmageddons you call me lame, and yet this is you.
oh nobody liked that one huh
(°. d𖦹 y𖦹u als𖦹 kn𖦹w pe𖦹ple wh𖦹 make y𖦹u think s𖦹mething like "w𖦹w they'd better dr𖦹wn in their 𖦹wn v𖦹mit" .°)
Yuh-huh!
Yeah it does :3
Yuh-huh
Yuh-huh
all you guys do on this stupid app is pity me... #vwhatsthatallabout #explain #hurt
it means exactly what i said bro try not to think too hard
i didnt think it was real until it happened t0 me s0 i guess it is
Contrary to what people say i actually think its very healthy to cry while knocking boots.
i wanna say n0 but it happened t0 me s0
Fork found in kitchen. Fish found in ocean. Yet another dirk strider found behaving exactly as expected. It gets even more shocking after the 50th time. Trust me bro.
Apparently.
.✦ ݁˖ 𑄝੭ 3V3RY80DY H4T3Z M333333!!!!!!!!!!! F4WKKWKWK!!!!!!!!! 𑄝੭ .✦ ݁˖
and y0u, zunnie.
_ I saw a spider die toniGHt. A small one riGHt next to my desk. _ THe creature fell from its web, clearly infirm. Difficulty movinG. PerHaps nearinG tHe end of its lifespan. It limped to a flat surface to roll on its back and deatH curl. Only to flip over and die upriGHt. _ One may call tHis a melancHoly siGHt, but one must remember. Moments like tHese Happen all tHe time. THis was simply a moment in wHicH tHe last moments of a livinG beinG were perceived by a neutral observer. A part of life. _ If anytHinG, I’m Grateful tHe creature lived a full life before passinG at my desk. _ MusinGs aside, I really must clean up in tHis corner. _ #cw-animal-deatH #deatH #violence but not really. I didn’t kill it.
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ Kinda want that old man #suggestive #inderectpost #icouldhelphimrelax
Yes, yes. I really bit my boot there. Look if I send you a yacht to Texas can we square this away?
Oh you meant it like that. My apologies, lad. I'm a bit wound up.
vwhat a major bitch. a guy pours his heart out, tries to connect, and this is vwhat he gets. #notsurprised #hurt #darkthoughts
i think i might have accidentally uploaded a picture of my penis. whoops. #nsfw #accident #damnit!
Might fuck around and look at some of other people's embarrassing memories or something. Keep everyone on their toes.
Oh shit? Aight, I see you. 8ut you still ain't no "king of pir8s", jit. ::::/
When did a lengthy grocery list find its way onto the refrigerator? I was under the impression he was writing this fully on his little tappy pad?
Monday comes after Sunday, has this been studied???
Apologies for my last post. It appears he took that as a queue to immediately toss on the offspring and absolutely blast my lugholes!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This whole thing is turning out more amusing than I anticipated.
\ aut1sm /
Im fairly certain that is his affliction. Though i am not a doctor. I cant be a full 100%.
What the devilfucking dickens possesses a man to replay the same song over ten times in a row?
Hes blasting music. Im not sure how to feel about this. Its shaking my entire room. The entire apartment even!!!
I take it as a mark of pride whenever an English disapproves of what I say by the way.
I don't see why you think this applies to you Crocker.
I implicitly disapprove of everything this man is doing.
I would rather be bias than complicit in your lessers terrible jollities.
That is just the manly musk of adventure dirk. Youre far too engulfed in parfums and dainty things. Perhaps sweat a little. Yes?
Ugh!!! Is that why?? Ive been asking you ten fold why i only see your feed. Drat! You scoundrel.
Must you say things that lack any and all meaning?
Forgive me for still being regrettably discombobulated.
Egad. How do you navigate this dadblasted thing? I had dirk set up my profile and im still woefully confused.
Aside from tasting a little metallic id say i did a fine job with that meal for a man who was holding a wad of paper towel against his hand the whole time he was cooking. Hooray for me.