Dirk Strider
@dirkStrider
Dude's mad that I ate a reeses. Seriously?
You know it's hilarious when a dude gets so worked up over your choice of snack that he breaks out in hives.
Guess what I can do, that you can't do? @jakeEnglish
Check what I'm doing, right fucking now.
Can yall mass pity Jake? Dude does not understand fuck all, and now he's trying to fuck with my date???
You don't mess with a mans date with a hot dude. You just don't do it.
I'm about to throw my ass into this dudes window. Watch me pirouette, and barrel roll with 10/10 precision and land this shit like a three time Olympic champion.
Got em in my crosshairs.
My feet are sore af from this. Need them toes massaged.
I could probably do this indefinitely. So I'm not, even if I'm getting hells-a feelings about it.
Uh, yeah. Actually.
You know, if you're gonna haha keep taking so haha long I might have to find you
I do tend to yap my chops when I'm stalling.
Alright alright already, I found you. Kinda easy, surprisingly. Lemme just hop on over there.
Damn, you're cute. Stop it.
I'm heavily offended. Actually, I'm downright cynical.
Have you ever had love at first sight?
That's on a need to know basis. Hey. Though. Cool to see you, dawg.
Uhmmmm. Okay, listen I don't know if I'm in love or just enamored. Your best friend your whole life happens to exist in a format you're not used to, kinda gets the blood pumped going if you know what I mean, broski.
well that's not concerning at all- but.. i have experienced similar. it fucks with you a little, adrenaline being mistaken for endorphins and all that. as long as you're being safe what's the harm in indulging?
Ain't doing anything at all. Just staring at his profile.
I don't know whatever do you mean?
this is where you'd get that knowing pat on the shoulder as i walk away cause you know exactly what i mean
Now that's a little fucked up, what if I don't know. What if I kinda know. You might need to give me a little leeway here.
Tbh, I fail to see what that iteration of me did wrong. But I guess we on that cry baby feed again.
Astounding lack of self awareness that might be more intriguing to me than whatever is occurring on the dash.
Oh, if you're such a smarty pants, explain it to me.
Dude, don't give me unhappy faces. Tell me what I'm missing.
Lmao. Love when they're airing out their dirty laundry and get even more heated. Got my popcorn rn.
who? what?
They see me rolling, they hating.
This is why love sucks and you should always stay single.
Apparently.
[ eurT ]
Hello chronic pain rearing it's ugly head again. Oh wait, bitch is always there, just wanting to make my life hell particularly today.
Also where is that yacht I was promised?
I don't think I feel any better after that nap. Actually feel worse mentally.
Hello chronic pain rearing it's ugly head today with a full body intense flare. Lmao.
Oh it's making me so nauseous, too.
Damn, I'm on a block spree. It's kinda nice.
I don't even think I've done one horny post on this website yet. Jesus man.
Hurting my feelings, dawg.
Yes, yes. I really bit my boot there. Look if I send you a yacht to Texas can we square this away?
Wait, what's this yacht for exactly?
On one hand, punching dudes is cathartic, on another... a yacht. Seriously? I don't think I could justify punching you with that being option one.
Damn you just got money to blow on tons of yachts?
Lmao. Lmao.
Lmao, fickle. I'll unfollow you, too, buddy.