Dirk Strider
@dirkStrider
I think I felt God strike me from the top, humbled my ass real quick. I thought I had it all, but it went wrong, felt like an acid trip. Bite my tongue, right my wrongs, but I don't wanna deal with it.
Sudden nausea, holy fuck.
Wait. When did I unblock that dude?
What an interesting thing to say about me, Jake. Please. Tell me more how you feel?
Christ. Dont you need an email account to make a profile?? Howd you even pass the human verification on all that business??
You do realize that those are merely meant to trick lesser bots. One without a blossoming cortex.
I really hope that my pfp gets across that I'm screaming everything I say. It's metaphysical, philosophical.
When was someone going to tell me
Are y'all just stringing together half baked thoughts into what you think sounds like fully realized ideas, to sound smart, now?
y0u'd be lucky two get in fr0nt of it. it's the kind 0f desperate clawing for understanding the ir0nic give up by default.
What I'm saying is, I totally think you're on to something.
You know what, I think I'm gonna keep this icon. It really brings out the shine in my teeth.
Don't believe me? Check again.
The thing people don't know about me? I'm actually a bear.
Lucky I'm not a twink.
I'm swearing off English's entirely, bring me a hot #incestuous relationship right the fuck now.
Don't even respond, I don't want your commentary. I can just feel you typing.
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ somebody get this man the folgers badge #itsalwaysyoublondies #Iseethepattern #liveyourfreaklifeking
₍ᐢᐢ₎★ oh lmao #yougottabemoreclearaboutthatman #therestoomanyotherstridersonherethatdrinkthatcoffee #innuendo
You know what, fuck this. I'm blocking them.
What if we just kill them all, or something equally violent?
Is it just a Jake thing to never give me answers? I've been sitting on hold with at least three of them.
When was I playing chess? What part of any of these interactions, was some sort of mind game, to you?
Woah, woah, woah. As far as I'm tracking, you're not one of the twinks I'm leading around on a leash. You knock that number down to a three this instant, boy.
Excuse me???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Oh right that. Not a mind game, just a slip of the mind. Keep in mind I'm prehistoric at this point, memory escapes me.
I see I will get no answers right away.
Dude's mad that I ate a reeses. Seriously?
You know it's hilarious when a dude gets so worked up over your choice of snack that he breaks out in hives.
Guess what I can do, that you can't do? @jakeEnglish
Can yall mass pity Jake? Dude does not understand fuck all, and now he's trying to fuck with my date???
You don't mess with a mans date with a hot dude. You just don't do it.
I'm about to throw my ass into this dudes window. Watch me pirouette, and barrel roll with 10/10 precision and land this shit like a three time Olympic champion.
Got em in my crosshairs.