Jade Harley
@gardenGamma
witch of space, plant mom, whiz in the lab! currently living on earth-c! she/pup! nice to meet you! (Username is just to distinguish myself from the other Jades!)
i was at the masquerade but my costume was so good absolutely no one recognised me and i spent the whole event alone :(
jade... :( gives you such a big hug!!!!! i wish id gone, im sure id have recognized you
THIS NEW TREND OF EVERYONE BEING A FUCKING ASKBLOG IS GETTING REAL FUCKING OLD. HERE I AM, DESPERATELY TRYING TO SIFT THROUGH THE HOME TIMELINE, HOPING TO SEE ANYTHING. AN INSPIRING POST. MAYBE A PIECE OF ART! A SELFIE, PERHAPS? OOPS, SORRY KARKAT! ITS A THOUSAND IRRELEVANT FUCKS WHO THINK THEY'RE WORTHY OF THE VAUNTED ASKBLOG CLOGGING THE TIMELINE BY POSTING LIKE TWELVE OF THESE AT ONCE! I AM LEFT ADRIFT TO FLOAT IN THE OCEAN OF BANDWAGON JUMPERS. I EXTEND AN ARM OUT TOWARDS THE LIGHT ABOVE, HOPING THAT SOMEONE WILL TAKE IT AND PULL ME OUT OF THE MIRE NO SUCH LUCK, IT IS MY DESTINY TO DROWN AND NEVER SEE AN ORIGINAL POST EVER AFUCKINGGAIN.
then why dont you make one? surely your super duper popular blog is worthy!!
I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT? WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT RANDOM ASSHOLES I DON'T CARE ABOUT PRYING INTO MY SOCIAL LIFE?
it is not prying you weirdo! its called making little connections with other people!! its fun!!!
this seas0nal shit doesn't c0ncern me but it is an excuse two curse the humans with kn0wledge about their universe which sh0uld have been ours: y0u ever wonder why y0u humans have such an unceasing drive two place chairs 0r leave space conspicu0usly viewing the bed? especially in liminal resting stations? thats where the imperial dr0ne goes. #nsfw #suggestive
holy shit.......that explains everything for a god you sure do have a sense of humor :p
everytime i try to grow a tomato plant something goes wrong. i've never managed to keep one alive for longer than a week. maybe a crazy wizard's put a spell on me?!
oh nooo :( maybe i can help you out sometime!
hi jade!!!!!
▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ ◄ ▲ ► ▼ sorry I dropped my bag of doritos
i can clean them up for you!!!
OH, DID YOU THINK I WAS JUST GOING TO POST REVIEWS FOR PIZZA? YOU FOOL. YOU FUCKING MORON. YOU FUCKING IGNORAMUS. OH MY SWEET SUMMER FUCKHEAD. NO, WE'RE MOVING ON TO BURGERS NOW. THE RIGHT BURGER IS SOMETHING THAT CAN RARELY BE PUT INTO WORDS AND MIGHT ONLY BE ABLE TO BE ACCURATELY DESCRIBED WHEN PUT INTO SONG. BUT I'LL TRY MY BEST. FOR YOU. YOU UNGRATEFUL LEECHES. THE METRICS FOR WHICH I ENJOY A BURGER ARE VERY SIMPLE. I LOOK FOR THREE THINGS, NO MATTER WHAT TYPE OF BURGER IT IS: MOIST, FLAVORFUL MEAT, ENOUGH CHEESE TO PUT AN ESPECIALLY LARGE SHRIEKBEAST INTO THE GROUND AND ADEQUATELY TOASTED BUNS. NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET IN THE COMMENTS TO SAY: HAHA, BUNS! HAHAHAHAHA, HE SAID MEAT! YES. THIS IS THE PRICE WE PAY WHEN TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING AS WONDERFUL AS THE HUMBLE BURGER. SOMETIMES SHIT IS GOING TO END UP SOUNDING REALLY FUCKING #SUGGESTIVE AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN REALLY DO ABOUT IT. SO HERE, THIS IS YOUR MOMENT. YOUR TIME EVEN! MOIST MEAT. TOASTED BUNS. SUPPLE, DELICATE BREAD. OOEY, GOOEY CHEESE. WASN'T THAT FUNNY? AREN'T YOU JUST TICKLED FUCKING PINK AT THE VAGUEST BULLSHIT? I BET YOU ARE, YOU KNUCKLE-DRAGGING MOUTHBREATHER. ANYWAY, TODAY I VISITED A BURGER PLACE KNOWN AS TITO'S. HERE THEY SERVE A VARIETY OF BURGERS, INCLUDING THE FABLED 'SMASH PATTY', AND HERE'S WHERE OUR TASTES MAY DIFFER. THIS MAY BE THE PART WHERE YOU RAISE YOUR PITCHFORKS AND PUT ME TO THE FUCKING TORCH BECAUSE HOT TAKE? I DON'T REALLY LIKE SMASH PATTIES. I THINK THEY HAVE THEIR PLACE. I WOULDN'T TURN MY NOSE UP IF I FOUND ONE ON MY PLATE, LOVINGLY CRAFTED BY ONE OF MY DEAR FRIENDS WHO SAW FIT TO FEED ME. "YOU'RE SAFE NOW, MY CHILD", THEY SAY. "DON'T EVER FUCKING CALL ME THAT AGAIN!" I REPLY. BUT YEAH I WOULDN'T *CHOOSE* A SMASH PATTY SO THAT'S WHY I'M GLAD TITO'S HAS OTHER OPTIONS. WHEN TRYING OUT A NEW BURGER PLACE I ALWAYS DEFAULT TO THEIR MOST BASIC BURGER AVAILABLE. HERE, THIS HAPPENED TO BE THE DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER. BULLY FOR FUCKING ME, THAT HAPPENS TO BE MY FAVORITE KIND. THIS DOUBLE CHEESE CAME WITH A SALAD TOPPING AND SOME OF THE HOUSE'S SIGNATURE 'BURGER SAUCE', WHICH LOSES POINTS BECAUSE I HATE IT WHEN SHIT IS NAMED LIKE THAT. WHAT'S IN IT? WHAT DOES IT ENTAIL? IS IT SPICY OR SWEET? ROLL THE FUCKING DICE YOU IGNORANT FUCK! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW UNTIL ITS IN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, ASSAULTING YOU WITH ITS AIRHEADS: WHITE MYSTERY. TO CUT A LONG DIATRIBE SHORT THOUGH THE SAUCE WAS FINE I THINK IT WAS A MUSTARD BASE WITH SOME SPICES. I GIVE THIS BURGER A SOLID 7/10. IT WAS A GOOD BURGER! I ENJOYED IT! TASTY ENOUGH FOR SURE AND I WOULDN'T SAY NO TO GOING TO THE PLACE AGAIN. THE MEAT WAS JUICY, AND HELD ALL THE GREASY SHIT THAT I LOVE. TITO, THE PROPRIETOR HIMSELF, WAS MORE THAN WILLING TO ACCOMMODATE MY REQUEST FOR EXTRA CHEESE AND BOY DID HE DELIVER- THAT SHIT WAS DRIBBLING ONTO MY SHIRT I FELT LIKE A WRIGGLER AT MCDISORDERS WHO'S LUSUS IS TOO BUSY TO ADEQUATELY TAKE CARE OF THEM. FAST, FRIENDLY SERVICE. NOW LET'S GO ONTO WHAT BRINGS IT DOWN IN THE SCORE. THE SALAD ITSELF WAS TASTY BUT *NOT* CRISP. WHEN I BITE INTO A PICKLE, I EXPECT IT TO CRUNCH, I EXPECT IT TO RESIST ME. I EXPECT IT TO BE A BRIEF, FLEETING FIGHT BETWEEN MY TEETH AND THIS OBSTINATE VEGETABLE. UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS ALL A BIT LIMP. AS BEFORE MENTIONED, I DON'T ENJOY A MYSTERY SAUCE- EVEN IF I ENDED UP LIKING IT, THE HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE OF BEING HESITANT TO TAKE A BITE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS WHITE SHIT IS KIND OF PUT ME OFF A BIT. THE BIGGEST OFFENDER TO MY RATING SYSTEM WAS THE FACT THAT I HAD TO ORDER FRIES *SEPARATELY*. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHERE A BURGER DOESN'T *COME WITH* THE FRIES? WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING THAT IT'S A SEPARATE CHARGE?! THIS SPITS IN THE FACE OF THE ENTIRE BURGER EXPERIENCE! A BURGER WITHOUT HER FRIES IS LIKE A THRESHECUTIONER WITHOUT HIS SICKLE. WHICH IS TO SAY: HE'S A VERY FUCKING PISS POOR EXCUSE FOR A THRESHIE TO BE QUITE HONEST!!! A DRINK AS A DISJOINTED PIECE I WILL ACCEPT. A DESSERT, TOO! HELL, I'LL EVEN ACCEPT SEPARATE ONION RINGS! BUT FRIES? THE FRIES?! IF THIS IS WHERE THE FUTURE OF THE BURGER RESTAURANT IS HEADED THEN I AM NOT FUCKING OPTIMISTIC. AS ITERATED BEFORE, 7/10. JOIN ME NEXT TIME WHERE I REVIEW A HOT DOG OR SOME SHIT WHO KNOWS! I SURE AS HELL WON'T UNTIL I GET TO THE RESTAURANT, SO FUCK OFF WITH YOUR NOSY, PROGNOSTICATIVE BULLSHIT! KARKAT OUT.
i am staring at ny screen with a little :O on my face and stars in my eyes!! this is vvvvv interesting karkat especially because i dont have nearly as refined a palate as you ._. ill eat anything if its in a bowl so it is nice to see you give very detailed thoughts on the matter!!! i surrender to your food reviewing prowess hehe
so many jades here right now!! guys we could take over the world
:O!! what would we do with it...
some mes feel like character assassination except theyre me :/
no it really wouldnt :(
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You are the most important thing in your life. You should never sacrifice your happiness for something. ...But I agree. I have seen verions of myself, versions of you, who have made terrible, terrible mistakes together. I wouldn't wish that on either of us, or Kanaya, or that hypothetical daughter. That isn't who you are, that isn't who I am. I cannot believe there are verions of us who could let such things happen.
im so scared of who ill become rose.... im terrified of myself chewing holes in my arms to stave off bad impulses.... rose how do i stop feeling like a monster.... how do i stop hurting more than everyone else.... even the selfish mes are miserable.... i feel like im destined to be sad no matter what and i dont know how to handle it :(
I wish that I were in a better state of mind to help. It is important to remember that we are not the worst of our alternates, we are the best of ourselves. You are not destined to become anything - knowing you don't want to become them is all you need. You are a good person, Jade. A loyal friend. You have to focus on the good you do for others and the support you have from your friends.
thank you rose.... you were always really important to me :)
And you were always more important than I realized before it was too late, Jade. So please do me a favor and be kinder to yourself. I'll keep commenting and complimenting eternally if you don't.
that sounds nice.... i feel like i should confess you were my first crush :/ back before I knew what gay meant i was kinda really interested in impressing you.... part of me is glad you never caught on your life seems wonderful :)
You were mine, of course. My Jade was closer to me than any of my other friends, it was only natural I would develop feelings. I never told her, and I will always regret it. So take comfort in, at least, the fact that some version of Rose felt the same.
we both know how it would have ended :/ i would love to live in the fantasy land where one of us confessed but honestly i think it would have just ended with us further apart.... for the greater good of the timeline i need to be forever lonely and eternally alone :/
jade no!!!! i know we were alone for so long that in a terrible way, maybe we got used to it but you have so so so many people who love you now...please do not trick yourself into thinking they dont care for you :( you are not selfish you are just a sad girl who may not always know how to handle things but i for one am through being cruel to myself! so please dont think youre a monster hugs you so tight that you can feel my heart beating with love for you
I have been trapped in a hug. I beg for my freedom.
been hella busy which means im highkey missin my friends from other universes n shit right about now hope yall are good ill break into your homes soon
being bisexual is great. you have way more people to make you stammer like an idiot!
screw it!! smash or pass!! comment and i'll say which you get! #nsfw
BARK!
puppyboys and girls come to me to get your extremely accurate you as a dog!
having... so much more fun this time. just had to commit to playing a character a little bit harder. i stayed too close to my own silly ideas last time!
it does sound fun...maybe i will give it a try :O