Saint dans les Ténèbres
@hereticalPolymath
Je suis le héraut.
Starts throwing shit around the room with my evil and fucked up mind powers.
@abstractCollector Your you is misbehaving.
Will you throw things with your mind powers as well? I should like to see it.
FROM THE MOMENT THE NAME "CHALKBOX" WAS SEARED ONTO MY CHITTR PROFILE LIKE A DIGITAL BRANDING IRON, I HAVE CHAFED BENEATH IT. SOME OF YOU KNOW ME BY THIS TITLE AND NOTHING ELSE. TO SOME OF YOU, I STOPPED BEING "KARKAT" A LONG TIME AGO. AND ONCE UPON A TIME, I WOULD HAVE TOLD THOSE JACKOFFS TO KISS MY HEMOANONYMOUS ASS. BUT THAT OFFER IS NO LONGER VALID. THIS ASS HAS SINCE APPRECIATED IN VALUE BEYOND WHAT YOUR POCKET CAEGARS CAN AFFORD. IT'S BEEN THROUGH THE MOST BRUTAL AND CUTTHROAT OF ALL WORKPLACE RELATIONSHIPS — THE PRIME TIME SOAP OPERA OF COWORKERLY PLOT TWISTS. A MERGER. A MERGING OF ALLIANCES. PUBLICLY. IN THE TOWN SQUARE. PLAIN AS THE STUPID ON YOUR FACE. A FIRM, MEATY PRONGSHAKE BETWEEN TWO SHITBAGS FROM DIFFERENT WALKS OF LIFE WHO HAVE SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN THE SAME COSMIC LANDFILL, ANYWAY. TWO FUCKWITS WHO HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN I OR ANYONE ELSE MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT. TWO FECULENT NOOKSTAINS WHO KNOW THAT IF WE'RE GOING TO BE PRESS-GANGED INTO SERVICE IN THE WORST JOB IN EXISTENCE, WE'RE GOING TO DO IT IN STYLE. TO THE FELT. TO *ALL* OF THE FELT. YES, INCLUDING YOU, @handMaid. BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO SEE THIS, PERSONALLY. MAY THE GLOWING-HOT PROD OF MY ENMITY REND ITSELF UPON THE MEMBRANE OF YOUR GANDERBULBS WITH SIZZLING, BUBBLING AMUSEMENT. BECAUSE, AND I QUOTE, "ALL MEN KNOW HOW TO DO IS LIE AND STEAL AND FUCKING BETRAY." AND MOST OF ALL, TO MY COWORKERS. TO MY TEAM. TO THE FECKLESS, MISERABLE SHITHEELS WHO EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO GET THE JOB ALONGSIDE ME. TO THE ONES WHO NEVER GAVE UP. THE ONES FOR WHOM "CHALKBOX" WAS NEVER A BAD WORD. @comedyGold. @gullibleColumnist. @terribleFate, YOU TOO, YOU FUCKING WEIRDO. AND WHY THE FUCK NOT — @veritysGleam, MY LOYAL MAIDLING. @terminatedRegalia WANTS YOU TO REPORT TO A LEADER? YOU'RE SURE AS FUCK GOING TO GET ONE. SO HERE. FOR ALL YOU ANNOYING CHUTEMAGGOTS WHO EVER BUSTED MY GLOBES ABOUT NOT "COMMITTING TO THE WORKPLACE TEAM SPIRIT. FINE. YOU WIN. THIS IS THE PATHETIC, MICROSCOPIC CRUMB OF MY CONCESSION. @scratchDoctor. SINCE THE MOMENT YOU SIGNED MY EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT, I ONLY EVER WORE A SHRED OF THE COLOR TO SPITE YOUR DUMBFUCK ANTIQUATED DRESS CODE. EVERY TIME I YANK THE TIE OFF, IT'S WITH MY MIDDLE PRONGSTUB. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT DIRECTION I POINT IT IN — I KNOW IT'S ALWAYS FACING YOU. I HAVE IMBUED THAT TIE WITH ALL OF MY HATE. ALL OF MY RAGE. ALL OF THE BITTER, FULMINATING CHAGRIN IN MY EVERY PULSING LIFE FIBER. I PLAN TO DO THE SAME WITH THIS ONE, FOR THE RECORD. SO FEAST YOUR SMOOTH, BALD HEAD (IN PLACE OF ANY DISCERNIBLE GANDERBULBS) ON THE COLOR YOU SO CLEARLY WANT YOUR COVEN OF INTERDIMENSIONAL RAINBOW DRINKER COSPLAYERS TO WEAR. GO AHEAD. GLOAT LIKE YOU WON ME OVER, EVENTUALLY. LIKE I DECIDED TO REP THE COMPANY COLORS, FOR ONCE. IT IS MY HATE-FILLED, SPITE-FUELED, IRONIC GESTURE OF PROTEST TO YOU AND THE MALDING GREEN MANLET @caliBorn HIMSELF. YOU TWO, BY VIRTUE OF SIGNING MY CHECKS, HAVE SUFFICIENT CLEARANCE TO KISS MY ASS. THE FELT IS MORE THAN A NINE TO FIVE. MORE THAN A HIVE WHERE I KICK UP MY FRONDS AFTER A GRUELING ETERNITY OF TOIL, WHETHER IT'S IN THIS TIME PERIOD OR IN AN ISEKAI TO THE FAR-FLUNG PAST. MORE THAN A PRISON TO CONTAIN A HATRED THAT PARADOX SPACE ITSELF HAS BEEN TRYING TO SQUASH FOR AS LONG AS I'VE BEEN WEARING GRAY, AND IT STILL HASN'T CULLED ME YET. THE FELT IS WHERE I BELONG. FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE. SO GO AHEAD. FUCK IT. WHO CARES WHAT YOU CALL ME. KARKAT. CHALKBOX. CHALKY. OR ANOTHER TITLE THAT I'LL UNVEIL IN ANOTHER, SEPARATE CHITT, RELATED TO HAVING FINALLY PUT A CERTAIN CHICANEROUS PURRBEAST IN HER PLACE IN REGARD TO WHO THE *SUPERIOR ROMANTIC CINEASTE* IS. IT DOESN'T MATTER. IF I'M HERE FOREVER, I'M DOING IT MY WAY. OR IN THIS CASE, A SORT OF JOINT-PARTNERSHIP WAY. BESPOKE NEW UNIFORM COURTESY OF @charmeuseCaressing. TAILORED BY THE FELT, YES, BUT ON *MY* TERMS. BECAUSE YOU DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT, NOT THE ONE YOU HAVE. AND MARA. IF YOU'RE READING THIS. AND I KNOW YOU ARE, BECAUSE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO HELP YOURSELF. I WANT THAT PAIR OF NEEDLES YOU VANDALIZED OUT OF ROTTING GREEN COMPANY PROPERTY. NOT BECAUSE I GIVE A SHIT. BUT BECAUSE I KNOW AN OBNOXIOUS, OMNIPOTENT DIPSHIT WHO DOES. HOW MANY ZEROES WILL BE ON THE CHECK HE SIGNS WHEN I BRING BACK HIS SISTER'S THORASSIC BONE CURVATURE, I WONDER. ESPECIALLY WHEN I PRY IT FROM YOUR HOT, WHORELY HANDS. WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU AND EVERY OTHER POMPOUS, JACKBOOTED SHITHEEL WHO KEPT ME DOWN HERE, I'LL STAB THEM STRAIGHT THROUGH YOUR WORKPLACE ORGANIZATION CHART AND TEAR IT A GAPING NEW WASTE CHUTE. THERE ARE GOING TO BE SOME FUCKDAMN *CHANGES* AROUND HERE. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME LAMENTING THE LOSS OF YOUR UNDERLING, *MANAGER.* BECAUSE THAT PROMOTION. IS #ALREADYHERE.
They do say the outfit makes the man. It is a fine look, nonetheless.
Hm. Somehow did not expect this one.
I am being cuddled by the raging sun monster (aka Firefly, aka Lightbringer). Genuinely I could not have foreseen this I was the Oracle at Delphi herself.
. He changed my profile picture. How did he change Nevermind. I know.
I think you look quite nice!
You have my gratitude. I am simply.... wary of sharing my visage, in general. Vanity is such an unattractive trait in the immortal.
Well, then perhaps the pfp being changed for you is an excellent workaround for that. C|:^)
(This is in fact why I did it. A little vanity will not kill.)
Yours is also quite nice!
I'VE MET TOO MANY PEOPLE LATELY. I BARELY EVEN KNOW AND REMEMBER ANY OF YOUR NAMES. I THINK THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN *THIS* SOCIAL OUTSIDE OF MY DEDICATED FRIEND GROUP IN ACTUAL SWEEPS. I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF AN INTROVERT, BUT AFTER ALL OF THIS, I FEEL LIKE I DESERVE A QUIET DAY IN TO FOCUS ON MY WRITING.
He will not say as much, but your ex lover will thank you for the breathing room, brief though it may be.
I am burdened with this, and did not want to be, so I am unloading it to its original target. Enjoy your writing time.
Anticipation leaves me restless.
What has you so excited, lively one?
I am technically not even "post-game" yet. Twiddling my thumbs on that front.
Would it be flippant to say "Godspeed"?
It'd better be some other god's speed. Mine is a bit busy at present.
@hedonistGuillotine you do not recognize the baddies in the water.
0H FUCK 0H SHIT UHHH 🐺 ARE Y0U SURE????? I FEEL LIKE I W0ULD REC0GNIZE A BADDIE WHEN I SEE 0NE 🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺 🐺
hm. That was not meant for you, apologies. My dashboard seems to have moved.
Have you ever experienced replying to the wrong comment, because your timeline adjusted as you clicked reply?
QUESTION OF THE DAY* FOR POST-GAME PEOPLE, SINCE I'M CURIOUS: HOW WELL DID YOU KEEP UP WITH THE OTHER MEMBERS OF YOUR SESSION? *QUESTION OF THE DAY WILL NOT BE A DAILY OCCURRENCE, I HAVE A LIFE.
Very well. Except for everyone else. They're very "no longer existent" the last I checked. That was on purpose however.
Seeing the Lord Talk makes me wonder what a Lord of Void would even do. Just not exist? Know every unspoken word of eternity? On pure vibes alone, it sounds cool. Aesthetically speaking, you know? The unknowable void, the one with the nothing. But thinking about it further?.. It doesn't sound like it'd be a fun thing to Be. Not that I was interested in the concept in any way other than exploratory thinking.
It is not so bad a thing to lord over secrets, lies, and other things which reside in the darkest places. There are truly few things I cannot find when I have need of them. Fewer things still that I cannot bend to my whim, when I wish to. I do not mind it overmuch.
Things unsaid are a great utility, I've found. One of the most plentiful resources available! But the rest of that domain.. Sorry to say, but it sounds a little too cold for me. If you're pleased with the Title and Power, though, then it just goes to show that you're the right person for it! What is it like, though? I'm only a Seer, Myself. I assume you have access to more than just the knowledge.
The game knows to whom the titles are best suited, yes. As to your question... It is interesting, to say the least. I must be extraordinarily careful when speaking lest an unintentional untruth become reality. This mattered less when I lived in the Farthest Ring. Being able to move through the darkness in an instant however is extremely useful.
In other, more exciting news. I enraged my counterpart so dreadfully over the course of our most recent game (I will admit, I cheated) that he burned a hole in the carpet and scorched the chair he was sitting in. Fascinating stuff.
You should consider yourself lucky I didn't blind you by accident, wretch.
I've never done anything wrong with my life and also remember to clean and maintain your firearms.
Interesting.
I am.
Quite the accusation.
Really has some power behind it, then.