♠ hated by @tenebrificTermagent
🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺 Can't rig anything in your favor, that'd spoil the game. I can give you a new hand to play with however.
Have fun getting off of your couch, dear. All of the power I *had* at my disposal. I am currently back to bring a legal secretary on Earth, playing tabletop games to achieve any sense of power over comrades.
YUCK. NOT COLD AND WET ENOUGH FOR ME. PASS.
LADIES. LADIES. YOU’RE BOTH PRETTY. SURELY THERE ARE FINER TOOLS AVAILABLE. FOR PUTTING DOWN OUR OWN THROATS. AND EACH OTHER’S.
What do you expect me to do? Kill the Doctor? Go on a tirade against the Felt? Please. You have Vriska to thank for her own death, no matter how you cut it.
I am once again here to expound the historical notion of tea upon this platform. Though, this time, we are looking at the subject rather than the rituals surrounding the subject. In the drowned conservatories of old Alternian noble houses, a tea called Widowglass is preserved in ancient barrels. This is not its original name. Its original name belonged to a long-forgotten caste. However, as history ran its course, it was mandatory that this caste be eradicated. As a result, the cultivation techniques are also forgotten. Widowglass grows only where volcanic glass has been buried under brackish water and, over centuries, fed by the shed mineral casing of deep cavern lusii of the sea. The plant resembles a black reed at first glance, though its leaves are transparent in light. You may look through one and see your own frond tip. For our human readers, those are fingers. The harvested leaf has no scent. This is a peculiarity among flora. Alternian things that hide their smell are usually hiding from something else entirely. This is a warning sign against the harvest and use of this particular plant. Properly brewed, Widowglass is exquisite. The water mustn't boil. It is warmed until small beads gather along the inside of the kettle, then removed from heat before the first actual bubble rises. The leaves are rinsed in cold water to awaken their dormant properties. Then, they are placed in a pale, porcelain cup. Metal and bone cups will not do. You should find yourself steeping the tea for exactly one hundred and eight thumper beats. The tea produced is nearly clear, with the faintest gray-blue sheen. Its taste is delicate, akin to stone cooled by rain. A white fruit, perhaps. The mineral sweetness of an underground spring, with a suggestion of smoke. Those who drink it have often wept as their nervous system releases whatever tensions might be about. Pain dulls, blood steadies, and your thoughts become clear. For a few minutes, even a subjuggulator would seem civil. However. This tea may be brewed incorrectly, and it often is. If the water boils, the leaves curl inward and release a compound known as lucent venom. If steeped too long, the liquor grows bright instead of dark, taking on a beautiful internal shine. The brew still tastes pleasant. It is sweet, even. It still provides calm. Then, your senses will sharpen. You'll be able to hear the cup cooling, the table settling, the blood moving behind your own eyes. Then, the body begins to react. The pulse slows, and the lungs narrow because you are too weak to expand your diaphragm. The nerves become overactive, making every sensation torture. This is why Widowglass is used only by two sorts of people: masterful hosts and unimaginative murderers. Among violetbloods, it is served at peace talks, succession feasts, and private evenings where everyone present is pretending not to count the exits. Among jades, it is sometimes kept in sealed infirmary cupboards as a sedative of last resort. Teals have attempted to regulate it. Ceruleans have attempted to counterfeit it. Purplebloods have attempted to canonize the first fool who drank it boiling and claimed to see the Messiahs in the steam. Rustbloods, incidentally, have the most sensible superstition about it. They say Widowglass should only be brewed by someone who has something to lose if you die. A quaint, nearly moral idea. The plant itself offers no loyalty. It is not benevolent. It is not malicious. It simply contains two futures and waits for the brewer to choose one with sufficient precision. Do you think you could brew this properly? Widowglass does not mind being tea, nor poison. It is only you who may take issue with it.
Ah, an apt observation. I believe she would be accounted for in the "no little inhabitants remain" section of the eulogy.
O̳u̳r̳ ̳f̳a̳v̳o̳r̳i̳t̳e̳ ̳f̳i̳l̳m̳.̳ ̳D̳i̳d̳ ̳a̳n̳y̳b̳o̳d̳y̳ ̳e̳l̳s̳e̳ ̳e̳v̳e̳r̳ ̳f̳e̳e̳l̳ ̳t̳h̳e̳ ̳u̳r̳g̳e̳.̳.̳.̳t̳o̳ ̳f̳e̳e̳l̳ ̳s̳o̳r̳r̳y̳ ̳f̳o̳r̳ ̳t̳h̳e̳ ̳c̳r̳e̳a̳t̳u̳r̳e̳?̳ ̳I̳t̳ ̳j̳u̳s̳t̳ ̳w̳a̳n̳t̳s̳ ̳t̳o̳ ̳b̳e̳ ̳l̳i̳k̳e̳ ̳y̳o̳u̳.̳ ̳T̳h̳e̳ ̳a̳n̳i̳m̳o̳s̳i̳t̳y̳ ̳a̳n̳d̳ ̳a̳g̳g̳r̳e̳s̳s̳i̳o̳n̳ ̳a̳r̳e̳ ̳t̳h̳a̳t̳ ̳o̳f̳ ̳a̳ ̳c̳o̳r̳n̳e̳r̳e̳d̳ ̳a̳n̳i̳m̳a̳l̳.̳ ̳W̳e̳ ̳w̳e̳p̳t̳ ̳f̳o̳r̳ ̳T̳h̳e̳ ̳T̳h̳i̳n̳g̳.̳ ̳T̳h̳e̳ ̳n̳o̳v̳e̳l̳ ̳i̳t̳ ̳i̳s̳ ̳b̳a̳s̳e̳d̳ ̳u̳p̳o̳n̳ ̳i̳s̳ ̳t̳i̳t̳l̳e̳d̳.̳ ̳"̳W̳h̳o̳ ̳G̳o̳e̳s̳ ̳T̳h̳e̳r̳e̳?̳"̳ ̳W̳e̳ ̳p̳r̳e̳f̳e̳r̳ ̳t̳h̳i̳s̳ ̳t̳i̳t̳l̳e̳ ̳g̳r̳e̳a̳t̳l̳y̳.̳ ̳T̳h̳e̳ ̳w̳a̳y̳ ̳t̳h̳e̳ ̳c̳r̳e̳a̳t̳u̳r̳e̳ ̳i̳s̳ ̳r̳e̳g̳a̳r̳d̳e̳d̳.̳ ̳A̳s̳ ̳a̳ ̳w̳h̳o̳,̳ ̳n̳o̳t̳ ̳a̳ ̳w̳h̳a̳t̳.̳ ̳A̳s̳ ̳a̳n̳ ̳a̳l̳m̳o̳s̳t̳ ̳p̳e̳r̳s̳o̳n̳,̳ ̳n̳o̳t̳ ̳a̳ ̳t̳h̳i̳n̳g̳.̳ ̳ ̳D̳o̳ ̳o̳t̳h̳e̳r̳s̳ ̳s̳e̳e̳ ̳u̳s̳ ̳a̳s̳ ̳p̳e̳r̳s̳o̳n̳ ̳o̳r̳ ̳t̳h̳i̳n̳g̳?̳ ̳H̳m̳.̳ https://i.imgur.com/AumvCA5.gif
shame about sootnose, she could hawve a real cute rosiee the riwvetickler thing going on. thatd be thematic, right? but yeah, fef vwins this match of #cronusbabeoff. surprise surprise. next up! an interesting match. assigned femme fatale by sgrub, or evweryones fawvorite jerk-88 #nsfvw, vwevwe got snovwman, also knowvn as the black queen, and probably some other dumb bq title, going up against wvriska serket! wvriskas a pretty high seed, but i think theres a chance for snovwman if she gets enough (hired) goons behind her. <3 or <> for snovwman <3< or c3< for wvriska serket
The Seer orders 25% off wings.
Statistically speaking, it would seem Amporas have the highest rate of quadrant fulfillment per lineage. Really?
is that so unreasonable an assumption? wvhat are you if you aint posting about your malaise or vwhatewver?
The second a in caramel is silent.
|t was a priv ask
right? its a wvild wvorld out there, stay safe
okay i knovw i didnt just see doc scratch of all people hate on my post about manipulating rose fuckin lalonde into compromising situations #nsfwv #directposting
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 1: rose lalonde #nsfwv #nsfvwe #substance #dubcon #cagttl first in my kinda arbitrary order is rose lalonde, rosie, blondie, cutest babe to evwer scovwl at me. trunkbeast in the block, yeah youre gonna need one into dudes, but thats more common that youd think. wveirdly more common than some of the other gals into gals, ewven. second point of order, roses are freaks. ewvery single one, iwve newver met one that isnt. this means that youvwe got an in, but not necessarily an easy one. youvwe gotta prowve to her that you can provwide wvhat her owvn fucked up pan vwants. usually this means dealing wvith her lusus issues. she wvants a masculine figure to giwve control to so that she can pretend like she isnt messed up about mommy. her loss is your gain. theyre also usually drinking too much of the seer juice, so doing stuff they vwouldnt expect is a good in. that or shes drinking the soporifics, dont see this one super often, but the vway to take advwantage of that is obwvious. wvhatewver it is, just position yourself as someone she can giwve control to. a fawvorite line of mine is "wvhos gonna believwe me anyvways?" my personal fawvorite is the "oh no please dont" style rose. this is the one that showvs off wvhat shes got, puts herself into situations, but acts frosty anywvays. think of her like a meovwbeast. you cant come on too quick, you gotta let her come to you, figure out vwhat she wvants. a good compliment vwill usually set her off in the right wvay, preferably something crass as possible to immediately get her off-balance. tits or ass wvorks, though some vwont be impressed by that, so get creatiwve! once youwve got her on the defensiwve you can figure out vwhat her thing is. does she get off to the shame of being seen around a dude like you? do her knees go vweak at the idea of taking orders? cant handle some trollhandling? shell hiss and scratch a little, but keep up the pressure and shell crack. shell get all blushy evwen as she snarks, and shell call you a creep but she wvont stop you. these ones lowve getting taken somewvhere priwvate to "chevw you out" wvhen really they just wvant an excuse to giwve you the chance to feel em up evwen more obwviously. then youwve got the magic dabblers. magic is fake as hell, obvwiously, i think vwhat they technically do is majykks or howvevwer you spell it. doesnt matter. these ones are bored as hell and theyre wvilling to make it just about anyones, uhh... the opposite of a problem. you see a rose thinking about testing a spell from some spooky tome on herself, encourage it, shes one of these. if they can find some excuse to giwve you the reins, they wvill. find a vway to justify your ovwn magical acumen. these are usually the type wvho wvanna givwe up control, wvanna stop thinking, so take charge and giwve that to em. i think if you leawve any rose alone vwith an esoteric tome long enough she becomes one of these, so go for it if thats vwhat youre into. if youvwe got a rose vwho doesnt seem to fall into either category, but youre sure she could like dudes, then you gotta mold her yourself. make jabs at her competence, emphasize hovw easy it is for you to push her around physically, make her feel small. shell push back, but youre prodding at stuff shes already thinking about herself. shell nevwer accept you as her equal so you gotta tear her dovwn until shes about to implode, then offer yourself as a shoulder to cry on. a confidante. she can trust you, vwho wvould you tell, vwho wvould believwe you? then you make your mowve. make her feel useful, use her, make her think that givwing you her body is just as good as wvovwing you wvith her mind. you gotta be her rock. the genetic predisposition to soporifics abuse is a great help here. shes used to feeling this wvay, ewven if she cant admit it, you gotta make it feel good. make her associate this state vwith pleasure, wvith you. if you can do that, youvwe got her in the palm of your hand. alright, time for the rating bod: roses havwe a lotta wvariance, ivwe seen em scrawvny and iwve seen em curvwy as hell. bonus points for being blonde and making the best faces vwhen theyre mad. 8/10 vwariety: 9/10 you can get a rose for just about any mood you might havwe, but theyll usually act grumpy about it ease: you gotta wvork a little bit to make a rose put out, but theyre usually entertaining enough its not frustrating. 6/10 personality: i lovwe em for their rambling, makes for fun banter, but i can see hovw itd put some people off. the ice queen schtick really does it for me those 7/10 ovwerall? ten outta ten babes, cant complain. im alwvays happy to see a nevw rosie in the bubbles and figure out her deal. usually her deal ends up being an unhealthy obsession vwith xeno-biology