D Strider
@turnaciousGeromy
: He's a hot mess. The most put together hot mess, but still. A little high-strung, unrepentant workaholic and perfectionist who is passionate about his work, be that SBaHJ or a different movie.
My creation has come to life @hellaJeff Or well part of it has. One singular characters who is probably a rando cosplaying as Hella Jeff but still how fucking cool is this. Hi.
https://file.garden/aUjin6psK2beHWDq/deepfry3.jpg
Aw hes jpeg artifacting my posts. Enshittify on my funky freaky asshole.
He stated Sweet Bro had unfortunately died in a car crash. Tragic.
Be cautious to teach your wooden boy to behave, Geppetto. Teach good manners and even better restraint. We wouldn’t want your prodigal Jeff to wind up a The Killer would we?
Congratulations on being a father. The gift basket should arrive shortly.
Yeah not going to lie it is at least five movies too late for that Rose who liked that one post I made a few hours ago. I mean have you seen any of my movies behave is not what Jeff does and good manners were out the window by the first line of the movie. He also definitely killed someone but kudos on the creepypasta reference.
Im so proud. Hes so hilarious. Man I wish I had thought of doing this first.
What creepypasta? Jeff the Killer really happened. People died, Dave. There were countless bodies. Do they count for nothing just because they were difficult to tally?
Call me D. And yeah I mean yeah pretty much. Thats kinda how counting works. If you cant count them then theyre nothing You said it though not me.
Talking to various Dirk and Dirk adjacent people has been nice so I figured hey why not try to talk to some more. So if there are more Dirks out there who want to shoot the shit have questions or even grievances come hit me up in replies or in my DMs. And hey if the Dirk from my timeline is out there. Well this offer is open to you too. And fuck while Im here Id love to hear from my Rose is youre out there. Or any version of Rose really. Oh and Roxy too. Id love to talk to each and every one of you.
I would be happy to make your acquaintance. Or reacquaintance, in a way.
Its both an acquaintance and reacquaintance I think. Its Schdrodickgers quaintance both the first time we met and the zillonth time we met until it isnt either one of them. You know that already sounded better in my head but Im sticking with it. Hi Rose. Id be happy to talk.
Okay unfortunately likes pities and other assorted engagement tactics dont count in the grand scheme of this post. I love to see it but seriously DM or reply instead so I dont have to go on a treasure hunt lasting longer than One Piece to try to contact you all.
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/de8ebd81fb86.jpg Look everyone I scared her. She needs a clown to protect her. Lame.
As promised here are just a couple of clips from a few of my movies. Given the logistical nightmare of posting large files across reality, the high skill needed to convert .jpeg files to .mov ones and back again, and finding a suitable hosting site I cant make any promises about the quality watchability or full authenticity of these clips. I can only promise that on my end they are 100% SBaHJ originals. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gpa5CYn5Z1w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzqIjzWtpVc
Girls love SBaHJ. Isnt that right Daves and alternate mes.
so true
I'm not too sure about this one. But good effort.
You know what up. Thanks for having my back. We should share SBaHJ with the world here. Show them your comics and Ill show them my movies.
Obviously any Rose is an outlier when it comes to girls and liking SBaHJ so should not be counted in this post aggregate.
Oh hey a new Dave. Howdy. Glad to hear but not surprised to see you have the correct opinion.
True and yet some people out there do suck that hard. Its sad but not everyone can have the correct taste.
@transcendGodhood Heres my thirst trap other me. https://i.imgur.com/ubciGvL.jpeg Now its your turn Sweetcheeks show em what youve got.
now aint you a cool glass of water on a hot fuckin day damn and i mean damn (why the fuck can you grow a better beard than me wtf)
Mhm and theres always more of me where that came from. Plus I have hair on just my chinny chin chin. Which I think is just as much luck as it is the t. #NSFW -Suggestive
Okay bad news. The checkmark system isnt randomized but good news look at my ultimately meaningless status symbol. Isnt she cute.
shes adorable ive got one too look at this shit man its all spinny and adorable
I see it. Its mads adorbs Dave 10/10 best pretend and meaningless checkmark on this website right after mine.
Oh shit actually I have a better poll. My old one is till on going there is still time to vote at https://chittr.ing/profile/turnaciousGeromy/9c99ece3-00f3-4a88-afd0-8dd7a5a98438 but in conjunction with that poll tell me everyone do you think the new checkmark and badge system is randomly assigned. Vote ✅ for yes, they are or ❌ for no. And yes you do have to use the actual emojis for your votes to count.
After the rousing success of my last poll Ive decided its past time to make another. Now though instead of sealing Simbas fate as part of Warrior Cats canon I have this to ask you. If you could be either FireStar or Simba who would it be. Vote now. Reply Firestar fivever for Firestar or Simba Supremacy for Simba. I'll also be accepting DMS as valid forms of voting. Poll closes in the next hour.
I hardly know she/her.
Okay but would you be a troll Simba or a regular lion one.
OK formic but I was asking from a humancentric view to start with otherwise my poll would have said troll Simba to start with.
Why. So you can use it in some pitch inspired fantasy when you're alone tonight? Hard pass, look to other parts of the internet to fantasize.
yeah man, i get 0ff t0 humans talking d0wn t0 me f0r being a dirty tr0ll, and this is really w0rking f0r me. unf. keep g0ing.
That explains your handle so well actually. And your existence on this site too Im sure but no hard pass. Get your trolls rocks off somewhere else.
Oh fuck I lost track of time. Okay, the results of the poll are in! For anyone who doesnt know what Im talking about I asked the chittr masses if Starclan was canon to the Lion King world and if so if thats where Mufasa went. After an intense hour of furious voting the winner has been decided. With a glorious two whole ass votes people agree that Firestar did nothing wrong. Mufasa is in fact living it up in Starclan and imparting fatherly advice to Simba.
SMH fucking BatterBitch flooding NYC even while youre still alive. The one I had to deal with couldnt manage that though I know obviously she did after our demise. And she had other shit she did manage like this whole weird alien breeding program thing. But fuck I digress. So were on the same page. The parody had its place but it quickly wore out its welcome. I know youre not my Grim and Im not your Dave but what do you say we show these formics and humans alike what a real shitpost series is made of. What they did with Madagascar we can do with any animated movie of your liking. My personal suggestion is Despicable Me.
Also on an unrelated note I told a Cthulu Squidward Dirk to drop in and say hi. He might do that so be ready.
Squidward Dirk What? What kind of terrible fate has possibly befallen my nephew.
The fate of the Dark Knight. Id tell you more but I really think its his tale to tell. Though for the record I dont think his fate is horrible. Lonely probably but I dont know if you can call it a bad end.
> 0kay 1'm actually s0 1nvested 1n th1s 1dea
Ive had a lot of ideas you know and most of them are worth investing in so youre going to have to be more specific CA. What idea of mine has you so interested.
> the l10n k1ng and starclan hav1ng 0verlap. d0esn't that als0 play 1nt0 the l0re 0f b1g cats be1ng a th1ng 0f myths? w1th l10nclan and all?
Yes it would. Though rather than big cats being things of pure myth in the Warrior Cats verse this overlap would mean they were instead the distant ancestors to the modern clans featured in the books. Simba is actually Firestars great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandpa.
> yeah 1'll accept that as can0n
Hella. Then go spread the good word CA. I expect to see fanfiction.
Poll time. Do you think Starclan of Warrior Cats fame- thats troll Warrior Cats for all you aliens out there exists in the Lion King verse and that's why Mufasa was part of the stars in the movies. Vote now. Reply FireStar did nothing wrong for yes or Tgerstar is a chud for no. This poll is closing in exactly 1 hour.
WARRIOR CATS? THATS A HUMAN SHOW RIGHT? BAN ALL HUMANS!1!1!!11 MAKE ALTERNIA GREAT AGAIN ·MAGA
Firestar did nothing wrong, no truer words written
wait hold on youre onto something agreeing to this im putting stock into this early for maximum gain firestar did nothing wrong
For this poll to remain unbiased I will not be replying with my opinion but know that your response has been recorded and is appreciated.
For this poll to remain unbiased I will not be replying with my opinion but know that your response has been recorded and is appreciated.
Whats up Sweet Bromies and Hella Jeffriends. I hope all you assholes are coming out to the premier of me next and newest movie Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff the Penultimatum Jefftasticalitocious Bromageddon Speakquel or SBaHJtPJBS for short. Coming to a local theater near you this XX/ XX.
Or he does know and wants nothing to do with me to the point he wont even sign up for this place. I appreciate youre trying to make me feel better Dirk but man I couldnt even leave a video message. I tried but everything I meant to leave him my messages and art and movies all got confiscated and trashed by the presidents. What was he like. Your version of me I mean. Do you even know.
So Earth B would be my Earth. Or an alternate version of Earth B would be. Alt Earth B as it were. Maybe I have and Earth D out there then. Theres no one to suplex me if there were.
It was out of your power at that point. Like I said, I really don't think he'd hold it against you. Not long term, even. I sorta do. He left me a lot of himself, or, at least the parts of him he wanted to share. Especially when it came to his work. But I've dug up old interviews. I've combed over every shred of him I could find that wasn't scrubbed away by the Empress after their deaths. My Bro's and Roxy's Mom, Rose, that is. There's a lot I can say about what he's like, but I'd be rambling for an embarrassing amount of time and I don't know if you'd want to sit through that.
yeah itd an alternate similar version of your earth a man can dream earth d is out there i truly believe in my heart of hearts
It shouldnt have been. I knew that bitch was on my ass I could have done more to protect my legacy for your sake. Fuck I mean Dirks sake...the Dirk who should have been mine's sake. Shit we need to go back to codenames. John Nathan Jacob Corn Cob Peter Piper Picked a Pickled Pepper Jingle Heimer Smitty Werbenjägermanjensen 49 senior junior apprenticemanager Hawk Onceler itd be my pleasure to listen to you ramble for as long as you want. Id like to hear about myself even if we really are totally separate people who made wildly different decisions.
I do too. And together we can bring her here. We can make it happen.
... it's alright. The mix-up's kinda dubiously fine when it comes to Dirk, as a collective. I'm down to ramble anytime, then. He lived a pretty turbulent life from what I could tell... there's a quote I remember him using, distinctly, from a book. And it's rather telling about him, as an individual. It was a fantastic read, too, when I found it online. "The more his life is now his product, the more he is separated from his life." - The Society of the Spectacle, by Guy Debord
What are you a hive mind or something? All your thoughts belong to Dirk? ...Actually, given the compnay we're surrounded by here, that might just be possible. I wouldn't pout it past the batterbitch to have infected and corrupted you with some remnant of formic seed. It's definitely for the best she lost in at least one reality, from what I've heard. Fuck, though, that sounds accurate for my life too. I put my everything into SBaHJ and fighting the Condesce and because of that I was SBAHJ. I hope you get to meet him some day.
In my case, the "hivemind" is moreso the overwhelming awareness of my own existence across timelines. My splinters. Some are far more direct than others but we generally share some kind of throughline. Whether we're aware of it or not individually is another thing. Yeah. At some point, the line between yourself as a person and singular individual and the image you portray to the world and what you do blurs. Sometimes, to an unhealthy degree. But... I hope I can get to meet him too. Maybe he'll pop up on here. I also wish you could maybe talk to your Dirk. Hash some shit out.
Ah the mortifying ordeal of being known by yourself. Sounds like anxiety and not just any anxiety but advanced anxiety. Im guessing therapy isnt a thing for you or if it is it doesnt actually work like that. Kinda like how theres a Squidward Dirk out there who cant stop being a squid. He said that you were roommates which is wild. All those tentacles would just give me nightmares. I wouldnt say I got unhealthy with it. More like did the opposite of hivemind anxiety. I became a singularity. SBaHJ is me and I am SBaHJ. So Im thinking of bringing movies back if I ever get another chance at life. Bringing them back to the land of the dead feels too much like a self fulfilling property you know. ...But yeah. Thanks. That means a lot really though I still havent had any luck. Besides for your roommate the only other Dirk I spoke to were ones who raised Dave not the other way around. One of them @'d me even.