Dave Strider
@turntechGravehead
(icon by @kvaaassssss on tumblr dot com) suck it wild style and get jiggy with it
i bought a shark plush with long weighted arms and im wearing him like a backpack
ive slept more than half this week combined and im gonna sleep even more
it took me three tries to get up because i got dizzy and fell over
apparently there actually is such a thing as too much caffeine and i think ive found that limit with the help of my fuckass heart i now understand how hummingbirds feel jesus christ i think my heart has discovered a new speed previously unknown to mankind
man im aware i shouldnt be having caffeine but its my goddamn choice what i do with myself no need to try and tell me 'if i believed i need a tilt test' blah blah blah
ive discovered i dont know how to swim this is just plain rude
typical
dId a mOtHeRfUcKeR LiKe aLmOsT DrOwN To fIgUrE It oUt oR?
wAs jUsT WoNdErInG If iT WaS LiKe tHe fUcKiN DuMb wAy. HoW DoN'T YoU KnOw yOu cAn't sWiM. yOu aIn't eVeR SwIm bEfOrE, cAn't cOoLeSt gUy eVeR YeR WaY In tHe wAtEr bRo.
my neck my back all my joints have cracked help im on the floor this is the end
whats up chittr its ya boy dumbass strider himself here with not one but two bruised ribs and a dislocated elbow #injuries #nsfw #itsyaboyskinnypenis
my dude im a medical mystery my chronic issues have their own chronic issues
bitch howd you get lucky after getting out i got all my problems back but worse
i traded my physical issues for 3 years on a meteor then crippling depression after john broke up with me and now were back together and karkat is also there
happy pride month my ass hurts #suggestive
back to being all humany ive had my fun
marble
why is there an army of marbles
im turning decrepit theres no other explanation for my back going numb randomly
there is a cat circling on me and kneading my bony ass thighs what enjoyment does this bring the creature besides causing pain
you do this to me too by flexing your sharp ass nails on me
you were just jealous of how perfect my ass is and tried to sabatoge me but jokes on you my ass still looks fantastic with scars
im barely holding my brain together right now where the fuck am i floating away to and why do i feel like im staring through mesh
i fell asleep in the middle of shoving soggy noodles in my mouth im a modern miracle
great success i found five bucks i can now feed myself for the next two weeks with clearance dollar store food im living the high life or whatever the fuck the saying is is it the good life or the high life because technically im high but only elevation wise since im on the roof but otherwise im bitch cold sober what was i saying
gonna quote rose here dusting off this old ass quote saved it for a rainy day you dont have to earn support
i mean you could buy whatever you want. i have a shit ton of money and i dont do anything with it.
man whyre you doing that to me right now cut it out or im gonna have emotions
hey man someones gotta here ill bring the tissues theyre kleenex with that soft stuff in it so your nose doesnt get all raw and gross emote it out broskie
ive just been using the cheap paper towels for tissues cause they cost less and you get more
dude trust me just get tp for the snot nosed scenes paper towels will rock your shit like holy fuck have you ever had to stuff those things up your nose cause its leaking like a faucet it sucks
wait did i miss something what the hell
i should draw a bird from memory and see what new abominations i create
im ready for the beach i got my 120spf sunscreen and UV blocking clothes and a big ass umbrella
bitch im alive
:33 < https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/061b66d418b6.jpg :33 < not fur long
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oh shit oh fuck not the not the ak fur-ty seven (i dont know guns what gun is that)