
dave
@turntekGodhead
earth c 23 and full of shit
whatever you do do not open your mouth about ska on this platform not even for lighthearted ribbing
thank god nobody on earth c plays ska like out loud
every time you hit that hater reaction on one of my chits i lose an eyelash you guys this shit is serious i have a pretty good ratio going but i know at some point soon i’ll be bald lidded and what the hell does an eligible bachelor become once hes caught with no eyelashes #fuckedrightup
theyre closing down the earth c dollar tree for real #wearesoscrewed
i understand the tradition of the emoticon but i think some of you could greatly benefit from picking up the use of modern emojis and by greatly benefit i mean it will directly benefit me because 🫵 look at that gold is it not prime lmao material
i wanna take a ride on your disco chit
good night chittr time to meet with at least fifteen daves in a dreambubble and hand-cut crop circles snip by snip until weve made a giant portrait of that one old guy
sitting down to write a bar but the pen wont move unless its about boober fraggle #newcurseunlocked
empathy is a curse because what the hell am i supposed to do for attention if not subtweet everyone on this platform that thinks cargo shorts are forgivable let alone an undeniable wardrobe staple
i dole out knee slapper after knee slapper and all the thanks i get is a battery charge what kind of sick and twisted earth are we living on
what if i told you that i could be your sweet little cringe ass nae nae baby for the low low cost of laughing at every joke i make for the rest of eternity or until you die
and in the end sometimes you have to admit the raven was not anything like a writing desk and certain ectobiological siblings are just pretentious about that for no reason
dirk hour except they all refuse to acknowledge each other head on and subchit about every other iteration of themselves being the worst
an entire event based around undoing the horrific damage of one (1) skinny white guys relentless littering #timeless
i turn my pockets inside out and realize that unfortunately everything is coming up slender
you can be goated with the sauce all your life but when you step out in a dj pauly d all over print speedo suddenly its “too far” and “why are you trespassing on my property”
how about every time someone has a birthday we host a costume party where the outfit target is the birthday boy or girl or creature in question and you know in the instance of a shared birthday you have to envision what the born again bitches would look like grafted together and dress up like that or i guess you could pick one or the other but i digress not enough flattering or frightening imitation on birthdays i mean think about how long we’d talk about the memories of these things for
lets find out how many times you can (completely accidentally) fall directly underfoot before you get smacked by the birthday girl










