♠ hated by @undeadUmbrage
(\ /) as much as i imagine you all are having fun digging holes, if you come across items like a coffin dressed in chains, or start to experiencing a crushing, claustrophobic sensation that is trying to guide you into burying yourself among the dirt, it is advisable to stop digging before it takes you.
#NSFW I'm serious about that NSFW tag, by the way. Don't watch if you don't want to see a sword go up someone's ass. Anyway, Here it is. The moment I'm sure none of you were waiting for. My illicit sex tape showcasing the forbidden union between my ass and my sword. A foam one, thanks to @automatonArisen, who also filmed all of this for your viewing. I was planning to just post a picture, but I had the whole video, so why not just upload the whole fucking video. Never say I don't do anything for y'all. [The video opens with Dirk taking a deep breath, presumably feeling the full weight of his poor decision making skills crash down on him all at once. He's ass naked, save for his ever-present shades, kneeling on the marble bathroom floor. Foam sword in one hand, sink counter in the other. He holds onto both for dear life. Slowly, he moves the "blade" of the faux sword into position, lining it up directly to his asshole. There exists one last second for him to ask himself where it all went wrong, or if this is really what he wants his legacy to be on Chittr, before the sword finally breaches his anus. It enters glacially slow, probably so Dirk doesn't ACTUALLY hurt himself doing this. His hand tightens on the counter as it moves further in, eventually reaching the point where his stomach begins to bulge from how far the sword has traveled. "Shit, okay," Dirk hisses out after a few more painstaking seconds of continuous insertion. "Fuck. I'm done. That's as far as I'm pushing it in." There's still a part of the blade visible near his ass, but he's managed to get it in impressively far. He looks up at the ceiling, taking one last deep breath before pulling the whole thing out. Slowly, obviously. Dirk tosses the sword to the side as soon as it's out of him, holding up a thumbs up to the camera with the hand that previously held its death grip on the sink. Barely a moment later, the video cuts out.]
Who the fuck was posting about grub murder? #violence
SECOND TIMES THE CHARM... I REALLY... REALLY.. MUST KNOW.. EVEN IF THIS IDEA IS SO FUCKING STUPID.
oh my cod it was 10002 grubs as one big entity its literally a horrorterror
Genuinely tidy your rooms ASAP. I have been sitting on a Nintendo 64 for two hours now and only just realised it thanks to the layered blankets and clothes atop it.
Oh, hey, my kull score broke 10k.
HAVE YOu. AND ALL MY OTHER AWFuL ALTERNATES. CONSIDERED GOING OuT AND KILLING EACH OTHER.
I LOOK AT MY DEVICE WHILE ASLEEP. AND THE FIRST THING I SEE IS THAT FuCKING ART. BY ANOTHER SHITTY ME. FuCK MY LIFE.
Can you all like this so I can ratio this idiot. Thanks https://chittr.ing/profile/barackObama/a7c89b7a-19dd-42be-80e3-9371d5592ef4#reply-e62ed561-54e2-4889-a907-8e31eb18db88
Thanks to the combined efforts of @obvertSoftware and @turntechGodzilla, I've been successfully peer pressured into making an account. Both of you, please give yourselves a round of applause, a pat on the back, and maybe a congratulatory self-fellatio if you're feeling especially proud. Everyone else is invited to use their allotted 5 seconds to gawk in abject confusion at the handle before directing their attention spans back to the refresh button for their next dopamine hit of the day. No thank yous needed; it's just my natural generosity. I'm basically Mother Teresa in this bitch. That is, if Mother Teresa was really more like Edward Norton, though with maybe 2% more of a god complex. Anyway, Roxy's somehow managed to hack into all of my accounts and I've been unsuccessful in permanently changing their handles back, so I guess it's just fucking stuck like that until the bit's gotten old. Going 2 years strong now, and there remains little hope for it to die out. RIP in piss my online dignity, or something. I'm not even going to bother using my old handle for this. It's only a matter of time until I get epically pwned for the hundredth time. And with that, obligatory introduction over. You're all welcome. Peace out.
is this whimsical enough for some #whimsyposting big dawg has a flair for dramatics https://file.garden/aCIggVU4PCQNDv2v/rainbow%20shit