༄johnny windsock༄
@windyTrickster
(dont call me johnny though) just your friendly neighborhood windy boy! (earth-z)
can someone besides my dave say things to me?
J-o-o-hnny b-o-o-y... Y-o-o-u need fat h-o-o-nse in y-o-o-ur life.
sigh. maybe i should change my username to avoid being called johnny. but you're so right... maybe i DO need fat honse in my life...
-O-O-H I CAN CALL Y-O-O-U N-O-O-T THAT S-O-O-rry I was just playing it up I was g-o-o-nna d-o-o- J-o-o-hn but then I panicked and here we are ANYWAY J-o-o-hn!!! Y-o-o-u must.... Y-o-o-u must get fat h-o-o-nse...
YOU'RE OKAY! it literally is my username, so, not your fault at all. :p anyway. what if i'm not really a horse guy? i don't wanna be a horse poser. :(
What if I called y-o-o-u S-o-o-ck. well between me and y-o-o-u j-o-o-hn i'm actually a M-O-O--O-O-SE guy shhhhh
i really like sock. can it be sock? i wanna be sock. GASP! it's okay. your secret is safe with me. moose are cool. there were moose in my state, but i'd never seen one. probably for the best. i think i'd have been really scared.
S-o-o-ck it is! M-o-o--o-o-se are really really big, y-o-o-u kn-o-o-w. Bigger than y-o-o-u're even expecting. EVEN WHEN Y-O-O-U KN-O-O-W A M-O-O--O-O-SE IS BIG. N-o-o-w think ab-o-o-ut a n-o-o-rmal m-o-o--o-o-se. My lusus is at least twice as big as a n-o-o-rmal m-o-o--o-o-se.
D-o-o-n't w-o-o-rry S-o-o-ck, he w-o-o-uldn't hurt y-o-o-u. He's mumching -o-o-n branches right n-o-o-w. 8)
oh come on, you date ONE(!!!) person who's mean, emotionally unstable, and was kinda toxic and abusive in childhood, and SUDDENLY thats your "type"?? >:I
baby girl youve been dating the same mean, emotionally unstable, kinda toxic and abusive in childhood girl on and off exclusively for the last decade
REPEATEDLY MULTIPLE TIMES NO IN BETWEENS
i am so worried about the state of your emotional well being man
i'm literally fine! i mean, currently i'm a little concerned about my relationship (or potentially lack thereof...?), but i'm fine!
dont tell jonny boy but the only person ive dated in the last like 10 years has been TZ and were both kind of agreed its more a decision to commit out of convenience than any proper pale romantic attraction on either part like its love but like its different you know what i mean? the commitment is the fulfillment of roles wed split if there was something he wanted more
wait we're talking about dating requirements? uhhhhhhhh i don't even know my dating requirements at this point, i've kinda been on and off with the same person for years haha. :p
i know your dating requirements but i fear if i said them on the timeline youd shatter apart
okay but youre not allowed to get mad swear on nanas ghost
Johnathan Montgomery Egbert's dating requirements as follows: - mean to him and everyone around him - emotionally unstable - childhood history of toxic and manipulative behavior NONNEGOTIABLE - must be willing to enable denial about being 31 human years old - must be willing to play superhero (see above)
its been 3 weeks. is that still "taking a break" territory, or am I being too hopeful?
i mean did yall actually even actually talk about terms of the taking a break or did she just text you dead a night and go i need a break and not answer any of your followup texts and consequent phone calls
JOHNATHAN MONTGOMERY EGBERT
oh jeez. full name jumpscare. i mean what am i SUPPOSED to do, dave?!?!?!?! she's not messaging me back, and even if she DID, she hates talking about this stuff! i start feeling like i'm doing something wrong by asking!
buddy you NEED to get a better girlfriend or at the very least better standards for how you should be treated fuck youre making me get woke again god fucking dammit egman
sorry for making you woke. i literally don't know how to do either of those things though. also i don't really want a new girlfriend, i kinda just want my girlfriend back. :(
man we really gotta get you a fucking therapist NOT. rose. like an actual impartial party that aint gonna wreck your shit for worse without giving you tools and shit
factually untrue