dune schultz
@archaicArmageddon
im da real slim shady he/it // bisexy // midwestern
this site has me feeling like the one member of a friend group who didnt get isekai'd but their groupchats still work so you have jim normalson over here going to the doctor for backpain while his buddies got reincarnated as elves and orcs and shit and they just take healing potions
"Bro good job slaying the dragon but next time be wary of his breath! Almost had me scared!" "Dont worry about it Im a rogue remember??" "Oh thats nice you guys anyways I got mcdonalds today"
north dakota cities i've been to tier list S - to this day there are no S-tier north dakotan cities. scientists are stumped as to why, with the leading theory being "north dakota kind of fucking sucks to live in" A - i'll hand it to minot, they have a giaaaaant dala house. steele too. tbere's a giant tank in the middle of town B - fargo. which is what most people know the state for. there's more things to do here than in the rest of the state but its a pretty low bar C - dickinson. it's not a D-tier because i live here so it gets nepo rank privs. still fuck all to do out here D - bismarck. no elaboration F - valley city, jamestown. no comment
gramps made me drink hot dog water after great grandpappy schultz vanished with the doll
its all fun and games until the fossil autist comes posting (its me im the fossil autist)
red red wine it make me feel so fine... #substance #lyrics
have YOU celebrated red wine wednesday today? #substance
im celebraring generouZly phat blountZ wedneZday #ZubZtance
| kno | hAve !!!! #substAnce #redw|newednesdAy
* don't you know it 🍷 * (Attached to the post is a photo of Sans drinking out of a wine glass.) * (There is an open and half-empty bottle of ketchup on the table behind him.)
((ooc post time for dune dune does not have anything special about him. he is from boring old north dakota. no game no nothing (subject to change? perhaps...) he likes paleontology and archaeology, being deeply unserious, and subjecting people to his autistic tangents about earth's ancient history. his mom left to get milk and never returned and he lives with his grandpappy schultz. also he has a hobby of being a little fucking Law Breaker by digging for fossils in the national parks of north dakota. literal nuisance behavior but he loves it. expect #nsfw and #substance posts https://squidgeimages.s3.us-west-002.backblazeb2.com/2026/03/29/Untitled440_20260329131649.png #ooc #pinned
it just hasnt been the same without anomalocaris https://bygonebeasts.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/anomalocaris.jpg
you arent gonna believe what i was already watching while posting
come back to me... https://trilobites.info/anianocanGif.gif
i miss anomalocaris :( #sad #depressed #yearninv #takentoosoon #itsbeen499millionyears
NASTY NEPHEW SIMULATOR Your Top Uncle Exports this month: Eight (8) dollar bills $$$ Five (5) sticks of gum 🍭🍭 Three (3) Casino reciepts 💸 Two (2) Marlboro Reds 😛 Aim higher next time, kiddo!
alriiiight i bet youve all been dying to know what this little midwestern phreak (that would be me) is looking like feast your peepers upon... me 😌 https://squidgeimages.s3.us-west-002.backblazeb2.com/2026/03/29/Untitled440_20260329131649.png
~you’re really ugly for a troll, but i guess thats charming in a vvay
god damn it first im out by human standard and NOW im out by troll standards?? can i have a win for the first time in my entire life
>>| you can have my .apploud there. but .i'm more .into dominating types.
>>| silly .one. they've been here .oj chittr for .awhile. just some .aliens.
human (also known as homo sapien) are the like, bigmain earth species. you're lookin at one bestieeee homo sapiens emerged around 300,000 years ago and are the only surviving human species to date species predating and even living alongside homo sapiens were Homo neanderthalis, Homo heidelberginsis, Homo erectus, Homo naledi, Australophithicus robustus i can keep going if you want i got aaaaaall day
~to be completely honest i just thought you vvere a severely mutated troll. an alien does make more sense
in my grain entrapment era 🥰😍😊
high of 29 yesterday, high of 61 today north dakota is NOT for the faint of heart #DoNotComeHere
the world hasnt been the same since pjackk deactived 😔
that is to say i might launch myself head first into my great great grandpappy's tar pit if through some bullfuckery of cosmic levels i have to come face-to-screen with troll doug burgum
first theres trollsonified USA and now theres trollsonified britain heat death of the universe can NAWT come fast enough man #notavaguepost #youknowwhatyoudid
taking advantage of these frigid ass temps before i get hit with the 4th coming of fools spring by taking soggy jeans into the great outdoors and letting them freeze in place within seconds https://static.standard.co.uk/s3fs-public/thumbnails/image/2019/02/01/08/polarvortexfrozenjeans010219b.JPG?quality=75&auto=webp&width=960
made the mistake of showering before heading out and now my hair is frozen and feels like uncooked spaghetti #SADGE
whyyyy is the weather in north dakota such ASS
mr obama can you fix the machine the govt uses to alter the weather. there was freezing rain this morning and i almost slipped and ate shit on the stairs
Unfortunately, Netanyahu is in control of it. I apologize, citizen, but my hands are tied.