Ms. Leijon
@articulatedClawtography
Personal account for Ms. Leijon, writer and editor of @beforianTimes Leijon Gossip Column. All thoughts and posts are my own and do not reflect the thoughts of The Beforian Times.
:33 < Wanna be gay? Let's hang!
▲▲type shit▼▼
yes it really is 8 inches 0u0 #nsfw #serketp0sting
:33 < Fire
MOD MESSAGE ((We have a minecraft server now! Check the discord for it!))
((in-character or just normal?
@caliBorn #nsfw #bulgerating #vomit #gore Truth be told, this isn't really a bulge rating... It's so much more. I made contact once. Just once. It was not even that long. Maybe a second. My pan feels like it is broken a little now. Heheh. You all keep asking me what the cherub felt like through Meionics, and I need you to understand that I do not think I am capable of providing a proper rating for something like that. There was no bulge. Uhm. That much was clear. Or rather, there was, but it was buried beneath something else. Something coiling into itself endlessly. Everything and nothing at once. An ouroboros in reverse. All end, no beginning. I saw teeth. Not literal teeth. Conceptual teeth. The idea that the universe itself could be consumed. Like, existence was nothing but a morsel. This is beyond lust, or wanting, this being was denial. Denial of itself, denial of existence. I think it was the basis of chuchununus, if I am being honest. Yet somewhere inside those thousands upon thousands of miles of something, there was a little bit of #nothing at the center. Another cherub, I think. It talked to me. Do you understand how horrifying that is? I was staring at the universe's foe. It was the universe’s #nullification speaking directly to my pan. Then there are beings so far beyond predation that your body realizes before your mind does that you were never meant to survive being noticed by them. I disconnected immediately afterward and vomited hard enough to rupture blood vessels in my face. Even in the mess I made, I still saw him. His visage stared at me, hateful, his eyes hated me for just witnessing him. He was hungry too. But, not for me. His hunger, oh, his hunger. It was all of us. All of you. Everything you've known. It wouldn't be enough. You think I am exaggerating because I am the silly bulge thing. Because I am isolated. Because I am unstable. Because I already spend too much time listening to things no troll should hear. I am #nothing, and I am not being silly. I am never silly during bulge ratings. I know the difference between a living signal and a gravitational event pretending to be alive. When I touched that thing, with my pan, I can only worry about what might happen inside of there. What if the Cherub followed me home? What if the Cherub,,, I can't think on that. There are creatures whose existence bends everything nearby toward them. Stars. Black holes. Empires. He felt like that. But, maybe beyond that. Like, those boundaries and concepted were beneath him. It all turned to ash in his gravity. I remember trying to locate something recognizable inside the signal. Embarrassment. Tenderness. Fear. Anything remotely person like. And for a moment, I found it. Deep inside, beyond, everything, beyond the vastness, beyond the #nothing and beyond it all. There was something... so... small. It wasn't every capable of growth. It was a as though it were a single particle in the entirety of our universe representing something that wasn't this gnashing horridness I had been gazing upon. It was aware. Do you understand how horrible awareness becomes at that scale? I think if I had remained connected even a few seconds longer, something inside me would have opened permanently. Like standing too close to a massive engine and realizing your heartbeat has started matching its rhythm. Cherubs do not experience hunger, or lust, or anything you might be relating to the experience of living like we do. Instead of phenomenon happening to them, they happen to phenomenon. Despite all of this, there is a new gravity about the idea of eroticism that this particular cherub had applied. I don't think I could ever hate it. That is the worst confession I can possibly give you. ----- Now onto stats! Strength: Unyielding Pliability: 7. Length: Unending Girth: Unknowable X-factor: Yes. This is something that made me understand why ancients revered monsters, and sailors through their coin into the ocean. Why you kneel before jaws capable of annihilation. Terrible divinity. This was terrible divinity. I want to keep looking. Because when I don't. I just worry that it's watching me. Even as I wretched and bleed, I wanted to see more. I wanted to understand its existence. It is an overwhelming certainty. No shame, hesitation, fragmentation, just appetite itself manifest. It was scripture. All intelligent life should strive for it. To stop doubling. To be singular. To want one thing so completely that wanting itself is devoured. I think, if it wanted me to keep looking, I would have. That thought alone is enough to bar me from imperial service. ------ Now onto smell and taste! It smelled... ancient. Not like, rot or death. Those are just whiffs, small scents. No, this was like, heat beneath stone. Minerals ground into dust by large teeth. Wet scales dragged against a primordial cavern to kick up dusts. It was before language itself, which is why my words shudder to describe it. There was a sickeningly sweet nectar-like poison beneath it all. The way flowers are before they make you sick. The taste of it arrived before I understood that I could even taste it. My mouth, even now, salivates at it. Metallic, thick, like, biting your tongue until your mouth fills with blood. But the blood isn't yours. It's ashy, and present. The taste of burning just enough to turn you to cinder. Its presence was like standing too close to a law of nature. It was an eclipse, I was staring over an ocean trench unaware of the monsters beneath. My thoughts became nothing but small concepts. My pan compressed inward as though instinct itself was requiring me to submit. Every signal in the vast shape carried confidence. Certainty. It was inevitable. But the worst part is. It was so warm, dreadfully warm. Like, the loving embrace of a lusus. Something so large and imposing that resistance itself was forfeit as an option before the reading even began.
:33 < O_O
hellomsleijon
:33 < I cant even be furrty under this one, this is.. very clawncerning!
hhhhhh
:33 < Are mew okay? It sounds like that was really intense on you!
iwillbe! uhm. hehehmaybenotmanymorereadings today
:33 < That's good! Purrlease put mewre health furrst! Purreaks are furry important and I don't want mew to hurt yourself if pawsible!
@articulatedClawtography #nsfw #bulgerating hhhiloveolivebloodbulgesalotsoletsgetthisoverwith The Muckrake is a near and dear to this page in particular due to constant offerings of financial support and attempting to get me a job in her ever-expanding portfolio. To begin with the easy part, let's take care of stats. Strength is a 4. But don't be fooled. She has most of her strength packed into her groin muscles externally to this particular phallus. So, while the bulge itself isn't quite the flexor, there are powers at play that allow her to have the most extraordinary additional maneuverability. Pliability: Also a 4. This is because of the stouter nature of the base of this particular bulge working against her. But, there are quite a few benefits. As is typical of oliveblooded trolls, she supports and internalized telescoping system that makes the bulge particularly rigid for penetration. Length: A solid 6 in length. This is larger than most olives. Hhh. Which is both a boon and a bane for her mates. Girth: Another 6. A solid shaft meant to support that articulated radioscopic system. X-Factor. 7. Her bulge has small membranes and specialized near armor-like ridges that, hh, when resistance is applied in a reversing motion, fanout into pseudobarbs. In addition to small, morevisible, fleshbulb barbs for similar purposes. Once she is in you, she wants to stay in. Her secretions are perfectly shaded. Her scent is that of the wild hunt. Earth, sweat, a hint of ink, as well as a leafiness to it all. She emanates the jungle. Hff. Uniquely, she has projectile hemosplooge capabilities due to her rather tip-centric release mechanism. Meaning that even before her final orgasmic quaking, she can coat you with genmat from afar. This feels particularlynicewhenreleasedinsideofthenook. Her taste of genmat is nuanced. Almost without taste, like water--but-- there's a tang! Maybe cucumber water. It's refreshing. Slightly sweaty and bitter. Hfff. I have modeled it and have it on display in my hive now.
:33 < Wow.. this is scarily accpurrate! O_O
thats uhm. thatsthepointmaam.
:33 < I know!! Im just surprised it is!! I kind of figured it was just speculation, but I guess you really are as talented as you say!! But mew know... your furrmiliarity with it doesn't have to stop at just a model :3c
im trying to get better at posing for selfies does anyone have any tips https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/82f03a56fcbb.png (tags: The Rankmaid/Chittr, rankmaid-sensei, my face, archive rating: G)
:33 < Mew're so radiant in this one, Ms. Megido!
hh arigatou leijon-chan!
:33 < H33h33, of course! But, uhm.. I have to ask. Are.. mew wearing a thong in this one? :OO
im so embarrassed i didnt notice it before it was pointed out but everyone seems to like the picture anyways so im keeping it up none of my undergarments were clean so i had to borrow my hivemates! 0///n///0
:33 < Well, if it makes mew f33l bettfurr, I think it really works for mew!!! Real eye catcher, or.. well, it has me staring at least! Wait that sounds bad? I'm trying to say I like it. I like you. I'm talking too much actually.
Isitsowrong to want every highblood to be my matesprit that treats me like a kismesis...
:33 < Not at all!! Love is love, nevfurr forget that!
#nsfw #bulgerating It is hypocritical of me to not provide the same level of transparency with my own bulge as it is regarding the bulges of those who have requested my judgement. Wrothe has made his pathetic attempt to court my pitch very clear. I am disinterested as I am incapable of being in anyone's quadrants for I may explode their bulge with my psionic prowess. To fully explain what it is I do, and how I do it, you must understand that I am hemoanonyomus, and anonymous in identity by design. I am an integral part of the Empress's surveillance ecosystem. I will continue in this role. Let's start off with Strength. My bulge exhibits a strength score of two. It can barely carry itself and has been historically particularly weak. Observe. [A Black and white Gif of a somewhat malnourished troll, doctored to erase any facial presence, horns, or hemo whatsoever, proceeds to crush a closed can of LUSUS Energy Drink. ] Embarrassing, I know. Next, onto pliability. I also rate this a two. I have never quite been able to finish my nook maze. [A second gif is uploaded of the same troll, and the same bulge, navigating a series of PVC Pipes with relative ease.] Length and Girth are pretty apparent at 3 at best! [The bulge clearly extends to nearly two/thirds the length of their high. Its base is roughly the size of their first.] Now for X Factor. X-Factor for my bulge is 100 out of 10. My psionics completely control it and allow it to extend further out of my body than it should. [Another Gif of similar tests with a roughly 5 inch bulge, failing to do anything] My secretions come from valve glands located every quarter inch resulting in a constant concoction of genmat hemosplooge all over my bulge. The video makes it difficult to see, but it is pierced as well. The texture is that of a firm limb with similar density when extended fully. My underside is covered in small gripbumps that allow me to not only pleasure my partners but completely decimate their bulges in jousting. My scent is clean. I don't smell like anything except maybe a light mist of a spring day. The taste is refreshing, low sodium, and acidity. I have been told its almost like a neutral gelatin. I hate my bulge. I don't want it. @gratuitousAnnuity
:33 < I think mew have a purrfectly fine bulge! There's nothing to be ashamed of, and I defurrnitely think mew can find love eventmewally!!
Idontwantlove
:33 < But!!! Love finds everyone eventmewally!!! Mew just have to k33p mew're pusher open and mew'll find a way to love in mewre own way! I could even help mew with this!!!! I'm so good at it!!!!!!!!
@gratuitousAnnuity I have been permitted by CrockerCorp and Wrothe to review... Him. #nsfw #bulgerating Uhm. I'm not a big fan of this one! But let's get through it. Strength: 9! This is actually fantastic. Uhm. If not concerning for other reasons. Pliability: 0???? Uhm. Length: 6. It's... It's fine. But seems longer than it really should count for. Girth: 4: Respectable. I guess. X Factor: -1000000000000 I am so sorry. But. It's shaped like his.. Uhm. Stock arrow things? And I can feel it twitching. It-- it can't be comfortable. Feel free to deny it. It tastes like... caegars! Uhm. I only have a couple of them lying around. But when he secretes, the taste becomes closer to nickel? It smells like... Beer. No, really. I don't know why either! Hhh. It might be fun for some! He'd be an excellent jouster... But. Uhm. Not in my nook, please! Hhhf. Clearly, there's something to be worked on! Mmmmaybeificanputmymouthonit
:33 < Hmmm.. How would mew f33l about getting some caegars for mew're effurrts in bulge reading... I think we could defurrnately find a spot furr mew at the @beforianTimes !
Hhhhhf. I-- I don't know!
:33 < It would be such a cute part of the column though! Readfurrs could send in their infurrmation and mew could have a full section on the papurr dedicated to it! It'd be such hot gossip!!!!
READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ Dobby evensong everyone! ]
:33 < I'm going to touch mew #nsfw
:33 < I'm back! Sorry furr the silence, I was breaking meowt of a crockpurrcorp holding cell, but they can't k33p me away from mew all furr long...
hELLO mS. lEIJON IT IS NICE, tO SEE YOU BACK,
Chittr, I have very bad news for you. I'm drunk. #substances
:33 < Oh dear...