Bro

@assholeBodyguard

Prolly won't post much. Father and or brother of 4. Barely conscious. //pfp done by @ro3dkill on tumblr ooc account: @jDooc

Blood: AnonymousAge: 37 years17.5 sweepsKult Score: 3676Kull Score: 427829 followers 34 following

♥ liked ♠ hated ♦ pitied ♣ mediated

ORIGINAL CHITTS|REPLIES

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

While trying to respond to Trollbama on my post I sprayed water out of my nose and it still hurts so I'm never attempting to respond to him anymore.

Kult: +2

Total: 2

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

If you've never been to a rodeo it's kinda like watching porn but with more clothes and publicly. #nsfw

Kult: +20

Kull: +10

Total: 30

Ratio: 2.00

Barak Trollbama

@barackObama[BO]

Clearly I need to get on that immediately.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

Interesting.

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

I got my shitty pair of shades on Temu. #cancelthisliberals

#cancelthisliberals

Kult: +17

Kull: +15

Total: 32

Ratio: 1.13

@adminisTraitor[AT]

ma]{es iТТ li]{e ТТ]-[rise as [[][]l as iТТ is already

↩ @adminisTraitor[AT]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Thanks.

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

I almost got my kids back!

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Hello... #evilyvaguepost

#evilyvaguepost

Kult: +5

Kull: +5

Total: 10

Ratio: 1.00

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Some people need to stop ranting at me (Dirk). #vaguestpostever

#vaguestpostever

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Where all the Bro's @? I gotta have a discussion.

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Oh yeah Dave died... he should be back soon though... probably.

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

I love you, Costco.

Kult: +5

Total: 5

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

This Bentley has gone through a wall of fire and gotten more hurt than going through the sun.

Kult: +7

Kull: +5

Total: 12

Ratio: 1.40

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Yeah I'm watch partying Good Omens with Dirk.

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

#Livebytheblade #Diebytheblade #Davesgonnadie.

#davesgonnadie #diebytheblade #livebytheblade

Kult: +30

Kull: +30

Total: 60

Ratio: 1.00

@turntechGoghead[TG]

hold on let me lean in and squint a little did i read that correctly

↩ @turntechGoghead[TG]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

My Dave he's getting someone to kill him.

↩ @assholeBodyguard[AB]

@turntechGoghead[TG]

what the fuck why

↩ @turntechGoghead[TG]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

I think he said something cringe?

↩ @assholeBodyguard[AB]

@turntechGoghead[TG]

nevermind carry on i completely understand

↩ @turntechGoghead[TG]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

I ain't doing it tell him to carry on.

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Kiss me... #vaguepost

Kult: +40

Kull: +40

Total: 80

Ratio: 1.00

@abstinentCabaret[AC]

~~(__^·> no one ever caught fish vaguely standing by the water, hun <·^__)~~

↩ @abstinentCabaret[AC]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

This really ain't directed toward anyone.

↩ @assholeBodyguard[AB]

@abstinentCabaret[AC]

~~(__^·> is that an excuse i hear? <·^__)~~

↩ @abstinentCabaret[AC]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Nah it's the damn truth.

↩ @assholeBodyguard[AB]

@abstinentCabaret[AC]

~~(__^·> no ones ever going to be kissing that pretty boy mouth if you dont try a little harder, mama believes in you <·^__)~~

↩ @abstinentCabaret[AC]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

How do you want me to try a little harder?

↩ @assholeBodyguard[AB]

@abstinentCabaret[AC]

~~(__^·> yearn louder, be specific, more vulnerable! <·^__)~~ ~~(__^·> everyone wants a little kiss, put some heart on the line! <·^__)~~

↩ @abstinentCabaret[AC]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Okay.

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

The sexual tension between these two vampires is crazy. #nsfw

Kult: +5

Total: 5

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

You know nothing of culture where are the men with tight shirts, jeans, and flip-flops who also flip the camera off when they take photos. #Iloveadouchebag

#iloveadouchebag

Kult: +25

Kull: +20

Total: 45

Ratio: 1.25

hey

↩ @lovwerBoy[LB]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Hi.

↩ @assholeBodyguard[AB]

i think i fit the bill pretty nicely, all boxes checked if i do say so myself

↩ @lovwerBoy[LB]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

You should dm me then.

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Hickory dickory dock some horny chick was suckin' my cock. #nsfw

Kull: +10

Total: 10

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

OLD COWBOY VAMPIRES!!

Kult: +50

Kull: +20

Total: 70

Ratio: 2.50

@archiveAddict[AA]

kudos!

Kult: +5

Total: 5

↩ @archiveAddict[AA]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Rankmaid... I beg of you please write vampire porn. #nsfw

@caligvlasAqvarivm[CA]

sighs dreamily cowwboys

↩ @caligvlasAqvarivm[CA]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Real.

(OOC) 1 week ago

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

// Never posted an introduction so here. Your name is Dirk "Bro" Strider; you're an asshole to say the least. You have four children, in order of oldest to youngest: Dave, Dawn, Dixie, and Delilah. Life has been hard for you, but you continue to strive to work harder.

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Why does everyone get an hour now and why is everyone fighting for this one?

Kull: +5

Total: 5

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

This kid still fucking making his stupid cheese why does he need three...

Kult: +60

Kull: +60

Total: 120

Ratio: 1.00

↩ @yesterdaysPacifist[YP]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Whatever.

↩ @deltafriedTimeus[DT]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Cause that's weird.

↩ @assholeBodyguard[AB]

@deltafriedTimeus[DT]

Bro we are striders. We ain’t nothing but weird. Ya gotta known this by now.

↩ @deltafriedTimeus[DT]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

#Not me.

↩ @assholeBodyguard[AB]

@deltafriedTimeus[DT]

You don’t think your #weird? How can you prove your normal? You move at speeds a normal human couldn’t.

↩ @deltafriedTimeus[DT]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Why does everyone know shit about me?

↩ @assholeBodyguard[AB]

@deltafriedTimeus[DT]

Because timeline shenanigans. Plus, i’m a younger you from an alternate timeline created to fix somebody else’s fuck up.

↩ @deltafriedTimeus[DT]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Ew don't talk about Dave shit.

↩ @assholeBodyguard[AB]

@deltafriedTimeus[DT]

Bro I ain’t even talking about Dave shit. Pretty sure this was some trolls fault.

↩ @deltafriedTimeus[DT]

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Timelines...

@assholeBodyguard[AB]

Alright yeah she's alive all is well.