The Exploiit
@confinedAnomaly
communal account on behalf of The Exploiit, run by Her Duplicitous Sovereign's "Exploiit Enclosure" goldworkers on the flagship. he's an old "helmsman" but likes to be involved. he/him, it/its
"1 am be1ng s1lenced" "th1s 1s the k1nk-post1ng s1te, why do you not allow me th1s one th1ng ever"
A point in favor of public decency, it would seem. Umami, nutty.
"oh NOW 1ts about publ1c decency" "how much more publ1cly 1ndecent can 1 be as a half-charred corpse on the wall" "actually" "1 have accepted my own challenge" "th1s w1ll become everyones problem unt1l my ab1l1ty to speak on here 1s allowed more freedom"
Back in the days of mine youth, if one wanted to have a stock, either of clluckbeast or some other such creature, they woulld need boill its bones for many hours. These Pressure Cooker Apparati, with their infernall sciences, can now manage a very simillar resullt in lless than one singullar hour. Technollogy never fallters in it's endlless pursuit to both astound and confuse me.
"they can do that now????” “well of course 1’m surpr1sed, the last t1me 1 had broth based anyth1ng was at a tavern a w1pe before they put me 1n the wall"
I am not convinced it does not use dark majycks
"the lad1es are tell1ng me that 1t’s normal and ‘not even that hard of an appl1cat1on of sc1ence’” “naturally 1 do not bel1eve them e1ther"
i wvoke up this morning wvith a bad hangovwer and my penis vwas missing again this happens all the time its detachable this comes in handy a lot of the time i can leawve it home wvhen i think its going to get me in trouble or i can rent it out wvhen i dont need it but novw and then i go to a party get drunk and the next the morning, i cant for the life of me remember wvhat i did wvith it first i looked around my apartment and i couldnt find it so i called up the place wvhere the party vwas they hadnt seen it either i asked them to check the medicine cabinet cause for some reason i leawve it there sometimes but not this time so i told them if it pops up to let me knowv i called a fevw people wvho vwere at the party but they wvere no help either i vwas starting to get desperate i really dont like being vwithout my penis for too long it makes me feel like less of a man and i really hate to hawving to sit dowvn ewvery time i take a leak after a fewv hours of searching the house and calling ewveryone i could think of i wvas starting to get wvery depressed so i vwent to the kiewv and ate breakfast then as i wvalked dovwn second awvenue tovward st. marks place wvhere all those people sell used books and other junk on the street i sawv my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster owven some guy wvas selling it i had to buy it off him he wvanted 22 bucks but i talked him dovwn to 17 i took it home, vwashed it off and put it back on i wvas happy again, complete people sometimes tell me i should get it permanently attached but i dont knowv ewven though sometimes its a pain in the ass i like havwing a detachable penis #lyricsposting #nsfvw
@confinedAnomaly You mean to tell me that accursed mumbling of yours is a *song?* Caustic. Bitter. Sulfuric.
"oh crap he’s here” “wa1t why d1d you follow h1m on what’s supposedly my account” “go do that on your own account, what the hell"
The agreement that was made after the revelation of this account was that they would follow me. This ensures a mutual flow of information. You understand. Rancid and phenolic.
"wow, descendants these days really do not know sh1t about the1r h1story huh" "wa1t hold on, what's a wreck1ped1a page""
To be fair. There are few surviving records that I llived at all. Bllame the wretched Empress.
"at least you have someth1ng thats even remotely true 😭" "what the lad1es are read1ng to me 1s all fake"
Such disrespect...
"thats what 1m say1ng" "1 cannot th1nk of a real way any descendant of m1ne could know of anyth1ng ever, 1t genu1nely saddens me" "no 1m not go1ng to message her, are you fuck1ng crazy" "perhaps 1f she knew though, she would th1nk 1 was a b1t of a badass" "what- of course 1 was, do you understand just how much 1 had that sh1t on before they caught me the last t1me" "where do you th1nk my descendant got her sense of style then huh" "yes, me, exactly"
"oh 1 see, thats your problem r1ght there, you cant haggle for sh1t" "1f you agree w1th the f1rst pr1ce someone tells you for your, uh, wa1t what were you try1ng to sell on that dreadpop place aga1n" "actually dont tell me, 1t doesnt matter, 1ts the pr1nc1ple of barter1ng 1tself that does" "your f1rst pr1ce 1s always your h1ghball, and the1r f1rst request 1s the lowball" "never, and 1 mean never, agree to the1r f1rst b1d" "stay closer to your 1n1t1al set and let them cl1mb closer to you, 1ts you w1th the th1ng they want after all" "well yes, you see, 1 spent a good part of my youth do1ng exactly that w1th recycled wart1me goods and mater1als to get by"
I do hope you were not "highballing" me. This woulld lleave me feelling... lless than jubillant.
"why or how could 1 have been h1ghball1ng you, you were not wart1me goods or mater1als"
"The Bohem1an” “someth1ng about a trend, 1 am unsure but 1 do l1ke to be 1ncluded somet1mes” “that’s the whole purpose of th1s account why are you argu1ng w1th me about someth1ng th1s tr1v1al”"
Dydst thou just I Also Choose Thys Guy's Dead Wyfe me???
"wa1t no d1d you send that already” “1 wanted to say someth1ng funn1er l1ke 1f you th1nk about 1t 1 actually chose the dead w1fe’s dead w1fe” “no, no that’s not 1t” “bah 1 can’t th1nk of anyth1ng else neverm1nd” “wa1t why are you send1ng th1s all now hang on-"
I do not know who to do for this trend. Um. The Optimist
"huh wha"
Peoplle were saying names.
I am not sure
I will not be kissing the "homies". I am not even sure what those are
hom1es 1e fr1ends
Oh. Yes I will not be doing that
𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚘: @callouslycynical the Cause Had Been Going So Well. The Tide Of War Looked Almost As Though It Might Turn, Had You Pushed Just A Little More, Earned A Few More Critical Victories. A Duet Had Turned Into A Cadre, Into A Community, Into An Army. Her Righteous Cause Had Inspired Legions To Form An Uprising, And Your Mind Could See It All, The Chessboard Of The World Unfolded Through Maps And Battalions And Supply Lines. It Seemed Possible That She Could Win, Truly Win. such Folly. It All Came Crashing Down So Swiftly, And None Were Prepared. The Overwhelming Forces Of The Adversary Swarmed You Like Insects, And Though Their Expressions Were Difficult To Read Through The Makeup, The Mirth Shone From Their Eyes With Every Drop Of Blood Spilled. When The First Blow Landed Upon Your Frail Body, You Know It Was Over. A Battle Of Attrition You Could Never Survive. Upon Eleven Sanctified Spears They Impaled Through Your Flesh, Erecting A Foul Monument Of Joy And Splendor, You Were Made To Watch Helplessly As They Took Her From You, Not Slaughtered Like Vermin As You Were, But Captured. You Never Saw Her Again In Life. rage And Grief Poured Through Your Every Vein Like Molten Iron, And Even As You Yet Had Blood Seeping From Your Wounds, You Felt It Not, So Tormentous Was The Cost Of Your Failure. The Clowns Held A Festival Around Your Barely Living Body, And You Endured It For 3 Nights, As They Danced. The Calliope Played Without Cease, As Your Very Soul Ignited In The Guilt And Shame. To Have Promised And Dedicated Ones Entire Soul And Life In The Service Of A Woman So Beautiful, So Kind, So Wonderful. And Your Inadequacy Destroyed Everything She Had Built. Worse Than Worthless. time Slips Away From You. The Pace Of Dance Hastens, The Music Grows Louder In Such Cacophonous Crescendo, It Splits Your Very Ears And Crushes Your Mind. You Would End Your Own Life, Reparations For Your Shame, Were You Only Capable, But You Remain Inert, Unable To Move With Spears Still Embedded In Both Body And Earth. And So You Open Your Eyes, And There Is A Light, So Bright That It Blinds You, Reducing All Else To Nothing As You Can See Naught Else. And She Is There, Cast Against The Light, Visible Only In Silhouette. She Is Waiting For You, Why Are You Not With Her? Get Up. Your Limbs Make To Stand, And Quickly Collapse, With Nothing Left To Push Them Forward. A Hand Reaches Forward, Straining Against And Reopening Your Wounds, Grasping In Futility Towards Her, To Take Her Hand, But You Cannot Reach, You Cannot Move Far Enough, Even Though She Is So Very Close. The Hand Clenches To Fist, Closing On Air, And Falls Limp. the Calliope Falls Silent. #violence #mild-gore #cw-self-harm war. 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚗 https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1faipqlsekfh6j2vgskoqsezds9n0t5tnb8gtkihiapootjcd9yp3hmw/viewform?usp=dialog
Ah... My finall and worst moments. How unplleasant...
"1f by some m1racle 1 get out of here 1 need to meet @1ndustr1al1nc1dental1st personally, 1ts d1re"
"no 1m on the flagsh1p 😀" "what are you do1ng that's the wrong emoj1" "🙂" "no, the other one" "😔" "yeah ok that works"
I know some ghosts sometimes retain their dying wounds in the afterllife. I suppose I shoulld be thankfull to haunt the bubblles as a mostlly chair and sllab-bound sicklly wretch, rather than a skelleton, or perhaps a pille of irradiated dust that I ended as, depending on the exact nanosecond we are judging here.
"at least you’re not perpetually stuck to a wall haha"
"sweet jesus put that 1mage away” “fuck you mean why, 1sn’t 1t obv1ous” “you can’t be do1ng th1s to me- STOP BR1NG1NG 1T CLOSER TO MY FACE"
wvwhat wvwas it? the tavwern sloppy seconds? the vwillage twvwo wvwheel devwice? something or other you mentioned last time wvwe spoke.
"THEY ARE ACCOST1NG ME NOW, 1S THAT WHAT YOU WANTED"
Doing well, my still lliving acquaintance?
"NOT NOW E1THER DUALL1ST” “1M BE1NG ACCOSTED ON TWO FRONTS” “AND 1M NOT A BATTLE TACT1C1AN"
happy #pride month. may you enjoy the taste of this gay bacon, as it wvwere, from both fronts.
"can one of you lad1es make one of those mov1ng and repeat1ng 1mages but where dualscar 1s exploded by armaments please and thank you”"