m & m
@daveStrider
tik tok tik tok on the clock
(Someone submit something. I need 200 submissions and I'm one away from that.)
Is that guy rick rolling people?
which ꙮne? - The Mystical Potion Seller Guy Man
KITTY, SKITTLES, KAT, GOD ALL OF YOU DAVES COME UP WITH SOME SERIOUSLY ASININE NICKNAMES FOR ME. K A R K A T. CAN YOU SPELL *THAT*?
*MAYBE* I’M LOOKING A LITTLE MORE CAREFULLY AT YOURS. TO SEE WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY.
OH. MY. FUCKING HOLY MOTHER GRUB. YOU SERIOUSLY ARE PULLING A RICK ROLL? IN 2026?
This song is a lot longer than I remember it.
yeah well i had to sleep then do some shopping for my parakeets && clean their cage all with one working arm shits a wreck
I apologize, that was not meant to come across as an insult. I just feel as thought you have been going for a while now—your tenacity is truly something.
hell yeah dude im on a mission and i cant stop wont stop till its finished even if i get the entire website blocking my ass
FUCK I FUCKING HATE THIS MOVIE. “ONCE” IS A FUCKING JOKE AND I SHOULD HAVE **KNOWN** THIS WAS GOING TO MAKE ME MAD AGAIN IF I WATCHED IT BUT I GUESS I’M A SUCKER FOR PUNISHMENT. “THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A COINCIDENCE”, BUT THIS MOVIE TAKES ALL OF THAT FATE, ALL OF THAT SWEET, SWEET ALIGNMENT THE UNIVERSE HAS SO GRACIOUSLY PLACED ON THE PROTAGONIST’S PLATTERS, AND SUCKS IT INTO THE GAPING MAW OF A BLACK HOLE, CRUMPLING IT INTO THE ULTIMATE SINGULARITY. IT WAS SO GODDAMN CLEAR THAT THE TRUE PEOPLE THEY WERE MEANT TO BE WITH WERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER AND YET THEY BOTH JUST FUCKING LEFT TO GO BACK TO THE RESPECTIVE DUMPY DIAPERS THEY CALL MATESPRITS? THAT RIDICULOUS BEACH ROMP WAS A FUCKING SET-UP.
“SIT THROUGH” IS EXACTLY MY POINT! MAYBE I SHOULD MAKE YOU WATCH THEM ALL OVER AGAIN, SO YOU REALLY ABSORB IT.
FINE. IT SEEMS THAT WE’RE BOTH DONE TESTING EACH OTHER’S PATIENCE, SO HERE’S THE REST OF IT ALL IN ONE GO FOR YOU. >> CUT TO THIS GIRL CARRYING A VACUUM CLEANER AROUND THE HIGH STREET LIKE A FUCKING LOON IN HOPES THE GUY WILL FIX IT. WHICH HE DOESN’T. INSTEAD THEY POP INTO A MUSIC STORE, WHERE SHE PLAYS HIM A LITTLE DIDDY ON THE PIANO AND HE GETS ALL INSPIRED AND MUSHY GUSHY AND STARTS PLAYING WITH HER. “I DONT KNOW YOU BUT I WANT YOU ALL THE MORE FOR IT”… WOW. HMM. THEY’RE ON THE BUS AND HE STARTS SINGING ABOUT THIS SHITASS WOMAN THAT CHEATED ON HIM AND THEN LEFT HIM HIGH AND DRY FOR FUCKING CHISWICK (OF ALL PLACES, GROSS), WHICH IS WHY HE’S “A SUCKER OF A GUY” ON HIS OWN OUT THERE. IT’S HER TURN TO GO MUSHY GUSHY. THEN HE FUCKS IT UP BY ASKING HER TO STAY THE NIGHT. AT LEAST, WE THINK SO UNTIL HE APOLOGIZES ON THE STREET TO HER FACE. REDEMPTION ARC FOR GUITAR GUY. THEY GO BACK TO HER PLACE NOW, WHICH… STRANGE DECISION ON HER PART CONSIDERING YOU WERE JUST ALL MAD AT HIM FOR ASKING YOU TO STAY THE NIGHT BUT OKAY, GO OFF. TURNS OUT SHE’S GOT A WRIGGLER? AND A BIG FAMILY. THIS PART IS SO FUCKING AWKWARD, FUCKING HELL. WHATEVER. THE WORDS THEY EXCHANGE ON THE STOOP ARE MORE IMPORTANT. THEY’RE TRANSACTIONAL. SHE DENIES HIS COMPANY. WHY? SHE’S ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE AND ACTING ALL FUNNY AFTER THE WHOLE EXCHANGE, TRYING TO FIND BATTERIES FOR HER MUSIC DEVICE AND SINGING THE LYRICS ON THE WALK HOME, “I CANT TELL DREAMS FROM TRUTH” AND “I CAN HARDLY REMEMBER YOUR FACE ANYMORE”. I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN FROM THAT POINT ON THAT IT WAS A SINKING SHIP, BUT ONCE AGAIN MY PUSHER DECEIVES ME, GRINDING MY PSYCHE INTO A BLOODY RAW PULP. THE PATHETIC LAMENTATION OVER HIS EX GIRLFRIEND DRIVES THE NEXT SONG. ALONG WITH A COMPILATION OF HIS OWN MEMORIES. AN OBJECTIVE TEAR JERKER, I WILL GIVE IT THAT. HE DECIDES HE'S GONNA GO GET HIS STUPID GIRLFRIEND WHO CHEATED ON HIM BACK, FOR SOME REASON? WHAT AN IDIOT. BUT HE WANTS TO RECORD HER SINGING BEFORE HE GOES. WE ARE IGNORING THE SOLICITOR SINGING A BAD SONG TO THEM. THEY MEET THESE BUSKERS ON THE STREET, AND THEY ALL END UP AT THIS PARTY FULL OF EXUBERENT, ECCENTRIC ASSHOLES WHO LOVE TO SING AND OUT-DOUCHE EACH OTHER. SOME OF IT IS CRAP, SOME OF IT IS ACTUALLY OKAY. OVERALL, ANOTHER FATEFUL BONDING EXPERIENCE BETWEEN GIRL AND GUY SO THEY CAN FALL EVEN DEEPER FOR EACH OTHER. AND THEN, SHE DROPS THE FUCKING *M-BOMB*. MARRIED. FUCK! AND SHE STILL HAS THE SHAME-GLOBES TO ASK HIM HOW TO TEACH HER HOW TO DRIVE A MOTORBIKE. WHAT A JOKE. THUS BEGINS ANOTHER MUSIC VIDEO WITH A GUY WHO POSSESSES SOME SERIOUS WOOLBEAST CHOPS, AND THEY START RECORDING THIS SONG THE GUY DESPERATELY WANTS TO DO WITH THEIR STUDIO MANAGER WHO IS THE BIGGEST MOST INSUFFERABLE MEGA-DOUCHE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET. “AND I’LL BE AT YOUR DOOR WHEN THERE'S NOTHING WORTH RUNNING FOR. WHEN YOUR MIND IS MADE UP, THERE'S NO POINT TRYING TO CHANGE IT/STOP IT”. COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!!! HE IS PRACTICALLY BEGGING BOTH THIS WOMAN AND HIMSELF TO ACCEPT FATE. OPEN YOUR GANDER BULBS AND LOOK! “YOU MUST HAVE FALLEN FROM THE SKY, YOU NEED SOMEWHERE TO FALL APART”. IT IS LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU. IT IS A KIDDY POOL, TEPID AND INVITING, FILLED WITH BUBBLES AND LITTLE FUCKING RUBBER DUCKS, AND THEYRE ALL STARING UP AT YOU, GOING “PLEASE, HAVE A SWIM”. SHE SHOWS HIM HER SECRET SONG. “AND I'M LETTING MYSELF DOWN BY SATISFYING YOU.” AND NOW SHE’S CRYING. SHE SAYS HE SHOWED HER VAPID SPONGELESS HUSBAND AND HE DIDN’T LIKE IT. SHE RECOMMENDS THEY RUN AWAY, NEVER TO BE FOUND AGAIN. AND IT SEEMS LIKE THEY ARE ABOUT TO TAKE THE LEAP. A FANG-ACHING BEACH COMPILATION, THROWING A FRISBEE LIKE A DOUCHE. HE INVITES HER OVER. WHAT A LOVELY VIGNETTE INTO THE LIVES OF TWO HUMANS WHO SEEMED TO JUST BE IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME. THE STARS ALIGNED, THEY MADE A CONNECTION. OR WAS IT HAPPENSTANCE? SHE NEVER FUCKING SHOWS UP! HE LOOKS ALL OVER FOR HER AND ITS LIKE SHE NEVER EVEN EXISTED. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A COINCIDENCE. BUT THIS MOVIE TAKES ALL OF THAT FATE, ALL OF THAT SWEET, SWEET ALIGNMENT THE UNIVERSE HAS SO GRACIOUSLY PLACED ON THEIR PLATTERS, AND SUCKS IT INTO THE GAPING MAW OF A BLACK HOLE, CRUMPLING IT INTO THE ULTIMATE SINGULARITY. IT WAS SO GODDAMN CLEAR THAT THE TRUE PEOPLE THEY WERE MEANT TO BE WITH WERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER AND YET THEY BOTH JUST FUCKING LEFT TO GO BACK TO THE RESPECTIVE DUMPY DIAPERS THEY CALL MATESPRITS? THAT RIDICULOUS BEACH ROMP WAS A FUCKING SET-UP. THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER. THEY WERE MEANT TO TRAIPSE DOWN THIS PATH HOLDING HANDS AND SHITTING OUT BUTTERFLIES, BUT HE LEAVES FOR LONDON AND SHE DROPS OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH TO GO BUY HERSELF A FUCKING PIANO OR WHATEVER AND THEIR PATHS NEVER. CROSS. AGAIN. BUT AT LEAST THEY HAVE THEIR STUPID RECORDINGS ON A CD, RIGHT? I WOULD RATHER LET MYSELF BLEED OUT ON THE UNPOLISHED HARDWOOD OF THIS CABIN FLOOR THAN WATCH THIS TRASH GARBAGE EVER AGAIN. THE DIRECTOR AND SCRIPTWRITERS CLEARLY HAVE NEVER ENLIGHTENED THEMSELVES WITH MY BLOG, OR ELSE THEY WOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO PROCURE SOMETHING THIS UNINTELLIGENT. A BARKBEAST COULD HAVE SHAT OUT A BETTER CONCEPT OF LOVE THAN THIS. HAPPY NOW?
yeah im definitely happy having spent 30 minutes trying to parse this information as if it held some dark secret within its trusses i could almost envision the whole movie, your way with words and story telling damn wheres the chefs kiss emoji when you need it im impressed you spent all that time explaining a b budget romcom to me only for the fuckers to not even end up together the fuck is up with that a piano seriously? was this also a musical please blink once for yes two for no
BLINKING TWICE. NO IT’S NOT A MUSICAL, THEY’RE MUSICIANS YOU DUMB SHIT. LET ME JUST SAY, I THINK THE MOVIE SUCKS. IT WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME, IF YOU COULDN’T TELL BY WHAT I SAID. I’M GOING TO NEED TO WATCH SOMETHING ACTUALLY *GOOD* LATER TO CLEANSE MY PALETTE.
well least you didnt have to suffer high school musical levels of cringe to watch it glad i got the synopsis cause if you made me watch that garbage id have to spend 20 years in isolation to recover
I’M SO HAPPY THAT I SAVED YOU THE TROUBLE BY SUBJECTING MYSELF TO IT INSTEAD.
your damn right and i got to spend a good ten minutes laughing my ass off on top of the thirty i spent reading it
FUCK YOU, I WROTE THAT INCREDIBLY WELL AND YOU SHOULD BE BLESSED JUST TO HAVE READ IT.