
T3R3Z1 PYROP3!!
@gallowsCalibrator
ONLY TH3 B3ST FL4RP3R 4ND L3G1SL4C3R4TOR 1N 4LL OF P4R4DOX SP4C3!!! >:] PFP 4RT 1S BY M3! // @strawpageterezi on other platforms
A chittrUser's dirty little pamphlet guide to fuck-ass trinkets with no value. Or. "The Fuck's A Badge Anyway?" Badges. Chittr's answer to: "What if my avatar, banner, and username just ain't enough bling. How will people know that I have atypical gendering, a love for snails, the joking ire of at least one moderator?" Fret not, McGee. In her infinite codematronly wisdom, Mocáli Flaske has devised a solution to all these representative woes. You only have to grovel for it. Am I joking? We'll see. → "Where does this hideous pixel slop live?" The humble badge is displayed beside your username for every chump to see. On some devices, hovering over the little shits will display highly humorous titles and subtitles dictating the intended purpose or goal of said little shit. [Yes, it doesn't always work on mobile. We're looking into that, with hammers. Maybe this post will be retroactively edited to laugh about this coding folly. Maybe it won't.] When receiving a badge, a moderator makes sweet backroom love to the secret assignment button, shipping your "I'm so cool." indicator directly to your site SETTINGS page by sicknasty stork. Just above your permanent profile deletion options, or the DANGER ZONE, lives the user-side badge repository. Application is simple. Click that thing. Hit save. Clicking multiple badges lets you arrange them in order of selection. Highlighting nonbinary, neopronouns, #TeamPlay means all badges display in that configuration. Such technology. Such innovation. → "Is there a list of these things?" Nope. Certain users have crowd-sourced a rough guesstimation of the badge situation, now months out of date. We haven't made a list for a couple reasons. One: I can't be fucked to keep it updated. Two: the Chittr Team considers badges to be equal parts intra-community chitchat material and reward for sake of reward. See a badge you just need to boast? Ask the freak bearing this heavy crown where they got that thing. Look at you, farming Kult and Kull score organic style. Useless engagement numbers are warm for your form. This social capital is maddening. It could go to your head. → "Okay, man. What if I already know what I need? Who do I threaten?" Great attitude there, McGee. You can direct message a schmuck bearing the Blue Shield badge, displayed beside my username for convenience. That's the "official moderator" badge, assigned to pure of heart maidens like myself. Or, you can just ping my hand-coded NOT-brainclone badgebot @imJunior. It gets the job done. Usually. ...What? Oh. I get it. Groveling for a badge is out of character for you. Likely story, but we'll play it cool. I know your game, so we've got a solution to your desperation. Go to the Chittr Official Discord and open a ticket. You'll get what you're looking for. The satisfaction you crave. Unless the badge is user-unique, assigned to just one guy. Then you can get fucked right down the street and around the corner. → "What the hell? People can have unique badges? Where's mine? Show me the face of God." Simple enough. Unique badges are awarded by request, usually following a user reaching a milestone. This can be an event, some dashboard drama users got mad twisted up in, a party hosted at your pad, the act of reaching an arbitrary Kult or Kull score, or just like... some bullshit. One guy got badged for writing a few pick-up manuals. It's that easy. The "reach out" element is not negotiable. Bitch about your sordid achievements to Junior or another moderator. Open a ticket. Engagement feeds the gaping hole in my chest where self-love would usually make home. Don't you care. Don't you want me. Anyway. Sometimes badge ideas are rejected. It's not personal; the team will explain why each time. You can request community badges too, for your little clubs or just a general badge for any sadsack to use. Like snails? Leaves? A specific hemocaste? A free-for-all badge can help you foster imaginary bonds with losers you'll never chitt. At the end of the day, we're all shitheads looking for connection. Make it easier by requesting a badge for the gang. → "Tell me more about these wondrous toys, oh Prince." Beg, again. Haha. Just kidding. Every badge image scrunches down to 32 by 32 pixels. Talk about laundry shrinkage. What the fuck is this? Profile jewelry for ants? The maximum information contained is 100 KB, because storing this shit ain't cheap. Yes, you can submit your own badge images including GIFs, but I'll force Junior to slow that shit down if it's a flashy epileptic sleeper activation bomb. So. Be cool. Generally speaking, Chittr's not in the market to make badges about hating a motherfucker or explicitly advertising dong. Not sure where the sandy line was drawn? Just ask. Sometimes Junior will show up in your comments to randomly badge you. It does that. Usually the badge given is in reference to some bullshit you pulled, like tagging things properly or being a specific type of nuisance. Junior doesn't have feelings. It's not personal. You can own infinite badges, but you can only equip seven. Switch them out, mix them up, dragonmax 'til the knights get roasted. I'm not your God and the paradoxical reach of universal discretion is just barely in your grasp. Go forth and freak it. → "So. Can I get a badge?" You know what? Your tenacity is almost tolerable. Sure. I made one just for you. Comment "prince bitch idiot" to receive it. Receiving a quadrant reaction means you're part of the in-crowd.

OH M4N 1TS B33N 4 WH1L3 H1 CH1TTR 1M B4CK FROM TH3 D34D >:]

WORDL3 1745 3/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜ 🟨⬜⬜🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 1NS4N3 GU3SS

SOM3TH1NG 3V1L W1LL H4PP3N

I’ve returned. It would seem my invitation was… underutilized. Not a single question left in my absence. How unusual. One might assume there would be at least a handful of curiosities lingering—something unasked, unresolved, or simply inconvenient enough to leave in writing rather than voice. And yet— nothing. I won’t pretend that isn’t a touch disappointing. Still, I understand. Questions tend to feel more pressing in the moment, and far less so when given time to settle. Or perhaps some of you found answers elsewhere. That does happen. In any case, the offer remains. You may ask. I will answer, where it is appropriate to do so. There is no need to wait for my absence next time. I am, as ever, available.

TOD4YS TH3 D4Y 1 F1N4LLY G3T TO 💥

W3LCOM3 TO MY 4CCOUNT!!! YOU PROB4BLY 4LR34DY KNOW M3 S1NC3 1'M SO COOL 4ND 4W3SOM3 4ND 4M4Z1NG BUT TH3R3S 4 B1T MOR3 TO M3 TH4N TH4T H3H3H3 1M 4N OFF1C14LLY V3R1F13D T3R3Z1! WH1CH DO3SNT M34N MUCH S1NC3 TH3R3S 4NOTH3R V3R1F13D T3R3Z1 TH4T 1SNT M3 BUT ST1LL!! 4NYW4Y 1 DONT KNOW WH4T 3LS3 TO PUT SO TH4NKS FOR R34D1NG >:] HTTPS://F1L3.G4RD3N/4YTSMD36K3M4FWSD/R3Z1.PNG

1M BOR3D BOUNC1NG 4 B4LL 4G41NST 4 W4LL 4ND C4TCH1NG 1T

4HHHHH 1M HUNGRY 4G41N BUT MY TORSO P1LL4R HURTS L1K3 H3LL 1 W4NN4 MOV3 BUT 1T HURTSSSS

the stairs https://file.garden/aUjin6psK2beHWDq/sbahj3.jpg

T4K3 4 LOOK Y4LL: 1MG_4346.JP3G











