j crocker
@ghastlyTroublemaker
stand-up comedian, sleight of hand magician, and teller of the best-worst puns you'll ever hear! ((pfp by mintofhtagn on tumblr))
THE M⧃UNTAIN USED HIS M⧃VES NEAR THE WR⧃NG TR⧃LL AND IS N⧃W ENGAGED IN WHAT THE CINEMATIC SH⧃WINGS W⧃ULD CALL A BATTLE ⧃F THE DANCE
oh shit! that means it is SERIOUS BUSINESS. good luck!!
@aspiringPessimist i just cut up on old shirt i don't wear anymore, i hope this counts! i guess it's not so bad. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4c6fd5e1f2f9.png
* hubba hubba! looking good, mister!
Old Men Are Not Safe From My Crop Top Post. Do Not Think You Are. #suggestive #nsfc
Just For That, You're First. #evil
C'mon, it aint that bad, get the crop top on, it'll be fun!
actually, i guess i've never worn a crop top before. maybe it WOULD be fun?
i've been wondering. as a heterosexual man, is it inappropriate to wish someone a happy pride month?
direct examination testimony: i feel bad for everyone who's not nonbinary🌊🏄♂️🤙🌅🏖️⛱️🌴🍹🍍🦩🪩
direct examination expert testimony: if you were nonbinary you would know...
you're binary. that's what's wrong.
maybe you just aren't ready for the nonbinary life style...
oh yeah? i could totally handle being not binary. just try me!
:33< im cute!
https://i.postimg.cc/2yXmS8P6/image-2026-06-12-175151674.png The Egbert's are surrounding me.
(this one's a crocker actually, but i'll take on the egbert mantle for the sake of a bit.)
As penance for lack of Daily Tarot Card post, I shall be offering one card readings in the comments of this post to all who request one. You may need to bear with me however, as I'm out. But I will see to it once I have my hands on my decks again later today. (Timezone dependant) #DailyTarotCard
ugly weirdo: man 👨 woman 👩 me: man🫃 woman🤰 nonbinary 🫄 ugly weirdo who turns out to be nonbinary: omg dave your so write then we shakes hands and part ways
IN LIEU OF A BETTER LIFE-UPDATE CHITT, ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT MY "LIFE" IS A LOOPING TORMENT NEXUS OF CLOGGED LOAD GAPERS AND MILDEW-ENCRUSTED TILES, I'LL JUST SAY THIS. I STILL HAVEN'T CUT MY HAIR, YET. THERE. ALL YOU SICK, OPINIONATED FUCKS WHO WANT ME TO KEEP IT DON'T HAVE TO MOURN ANYTHING, YET. I'LL SEE HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT IN A FEW WIPES.
REMIND ME THAT WHEN IT COMES TIME FOR ME TO START ANNIHILATING PEOPLE WITH TIME POWERS LIKE A PROPER EVIL ASSHOLE AT THE EVIL ASSHOLE SYNDICATE, I'M GOING TO START WITH YOU. AWAIT MY SHITHIVE LEADER-RAGE BEAM ATTACK.
hahaha okay. i can't wait! is this big crazy beam of yours gonna make ME bald? i don't know if i could rock the chrome dome look.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY https://cdn.|mgchest.com/f|les/58678b85e3ce.jpg
