j crocker
@ghastlyTroublemaker
stand-up comedian, sleight of hand magician, and teller of the best-worst puns you'll ever hear! ((pfp by mintofhtagn on tumblr))
hey everybody, john crocker here! before you ask: yes, it's THAT crocker. no, i'm not sponsored. i legally cannot give my opinion on betty crocker brand products without a lawyer present. with that out of the way, uh... gosh! i've never used social networking before. i don't really know what's supposed to go here. let's see uh... i played judge stone on nbc's night court (go check it out!!) and now i do stand up. i'll announce shows on here when they come! i'm almost 40 (yikes!), single, and ready to mingle. (haha wow, that was lame. note to self: remember to write literally anything else here.) bear with me while i try to figure this website stuff out. wish me luck!
happy #fathersday! and uhh... #lususday too, i guess? i'm spending this father's day the same way i do every father's day, by cracking open the old tome and reading some of the colonel's wise words of wisdom and wisecrackery. funny guy! kinda racist. whatever afterlife is in store for us, i hope he's looking up at me with pride. :,) https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4dc450c598d3.gif
sig)(...
i need to follow more old fogies like myself. i never know what you kids are talking about!
@aspiringPessimist i just cut up on old shirt i don't wear anymore, i hope this counts! i guess it's not so bad. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4c6fd5e1f2f9.png
* hubba hubba! looking good, mister!
I Am Clawing At The Walls Of My Enclosure. #verypositive #wow
(=^･⩊･^=) < HOT OLD MAN ON MY F33D....
im looking very respectfully haha i wouldnt look weird or anything no sirree im just looking as anyone else would ha ha hahaha ha are you busy
hey chittr! any time travelers out there willing to time transport my buddy @trivializingGangster a few years into the past so we can hang? i don't know what the conversion rate is between earth dollars and troll dollars, but i'll compensate you somehow!
hey cool were buddies i should like bring something to show how buddy buddy we are
i gotchu
hell yea
Happy pride to trans women and trans women of color, asexuals, and all other sexualities looked down on and ostracized by the community. #pride #LGBT #fuckyouifyoureantiequality #ibitetransphobes #ibiteacephobes
i've been wondering. as a heterosexual man, is it inappropriate to wish someone a happy pride month?
direct examination expert testimony: if you were nonbinary you would know...
point of order: they could be your secrets too if you were #nonbinarymaxxing like me 🤙
you're binary. that's what's wrong.
maybe you just aren't ready for the nonbinary life style...
oh yeah? i could totally handle being not binary. just try me!
okay. then transition.
omfgmf
does anyone else ever dread opening a message?
yowch! feels like i just got with some sort of radiation beam!
ow?
possibly my fault :/
i wonder if there are any evil me's running around? or... oh no... what if i AM the evil me? :o
YOU DON'T G1V3 OFF 3V1L V1B3S. PLUS YOU SM3LL L1K3 COLOGN3.
1'M BL1ND! L34RN3D TO "S33" THROUGH T4ST1NG 4ND SM3LL 4ND 1 C4N SM3LL YOUR COLOGN3 THROUGH TH3 SCR33N.
@masterCuller whoa, a like?? are you feeling okay there buddy?
ᡕᠵデᡁ᠊╾━_ >N0.
They hate everything here.
ᡕᠵデᡁ᠊╾━_ >¡t w/\s. S/\r《 /\sm.
thinking back on it, it's a good thing i didn't have a chittr.ing account in MY 20s. not all of those thoughts needed to be broadcast!
4WW, BUT NOW 1'M CUR1OUS.
well i'm not going to air them all out now!! if you really want, you could ask me privately!
F33L FR33 TO DM M3 1F YOU W4NT TO.~
you all post about such interesting things. :)
it was odd enough seeing so many johns named egbert, but the egberts not named john... huh! i guess i never considered before that alternate timelines could change your gender?
c< uH, NOt really? peOple are allOwed 2 cHaNge tHeir geNders! >c
c< MHM! i did! >c
oh! well hey, congratulations! i think. i'm actually not sure if it's appropriate to congratulate someone on their gender haha.
c< well, id say is apprOpriate! cause its a celebratiON Of Myself, aNd My freedOM! >c
c< Hell yeaH! tHaNKs! <:D >c
i'm starting to feel like some of you are pulling my leg!
who the fresh fuck are you
Oh sick. Let me see that rq brb.
kk i'm back You're sick as fuck. Glad to have you around, young man.
so! follow up to my last post. for those of you chittring from the new millenium, what's the 2020s like? are there any investments i should make to become a megaquintillionnaire? heheheh.
Apple, Microsoft, Bitcoin when it comes up.
Website called PLUSH RUMP. It blows up so you gotta send over a lot of funds.
c< bitcOiN, ive Heard is pretty lucrative, but, i wOuldNt KNOw aNytHiN abOut HuMaN MarKets >c
Glad you asked. It’s a highly successful enterprise that constructs innovative puppets for an adult audience, as well as plenty of content of that variety, and more. Go to [PLUSHRUMP.LINK] for more. For the best experience, use the PREMIUM RUMPER subscription.
Fucking hater.
i had a kind of weird conversation yesterday. so... are most of you NOT currently in the 1990s?
⋆⁺‧₊☽ 'll 'ave t' learn what "Earth 1990s" are like. Ehehe. But um... yes, it's very rare tha' we 'ave users who aren't in the modern day. It's fascinatin'...! ☾₊‧⁺⋆
last time i checked, i died in 2012. but then i came back and havent paid attention since. i think somewhere in the uhh... 2020s? or... futher. im not sure. there was also a time jump to progress civilization somewhere in there.
oh... i'm sorry to hear that you died. that must have been awful! at least you're all better now?
eh im over it. everyone died, it was the end of the world. yeah though, things were finished and i guess some people were allowed to come back.
huh. this is a hell of a way to find out that the world is ending in 20 years. how come only some people got to come back and not everyone? was there a rapture or something?
err well i dont think it was in 2012, thats just when *i* died.
ummm. i shouldnt say more.
whew, this is doing my head in. i think it's time i stepped outside for some fresh air haha.
oh, geez, i think i know how that guy feels now. i didn't think i'd be see THAT name.
Oh my god. They put John on the 8each that makes you old!!!!!!!!
i went to the beach that makes you old and all i got was back pain!