♠ hated by @tappingTriumphant
▲youre getting the poser merch▼
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 1: rose lalonde #nsfwv #nsfvwe #substance #dubcon #cagttl first in my kinda arbitrary order is rose lalonde, rosie, blondie, cutest babe to evwer scovwl at me. trunkbeast in the block, yeah youre gonna need one into dudes, but thats more common that youd think. wveirdly more common than some of the other gals into gals, ewven. second point of order, roses are freaks. ewvery single one, iwve newver met one that isnt. this means that youvwe got an in, but not necessarily an easy one. youvwe gotta prowve to her that you can provwide wvhat her owvn fucked up pan vwants. usually this means dealing wvith her lusus issues. she wvants a masculine figure to giwve control to so that she can pretend like she isnt messed up about mommy. her loss is your gain. theyre also usually drinking too much of the seer juice, so doing stuff they vwouldnt expect is a good in. that or shes drinking the soporifics, dont see this one super often, but the vway to take advwantage of that is obwvious. wvhatewver it is, just position yourself as someone she can giwve control to. a fawvorite line of mine is "wvhos gonna believwe me anyvways?" my personal fawvorite is the "oh no please dont" style rose. this is the one that showvs off wvhat shes got, puts herself into situations, but acts frosty anywvays. think of her like a meovwbeast. you cant come on too quick, you gotta let her come to you, figure out vwhat she wvants. a good compliment vwill usually set her off in the right wvay, preferably something crass as possible to immediately get her off-balance. tits or ass wvorks, though some vwont be impressed by that, so get creatiwve! once youwve got her on the defensiwve you can figure out vwhat her thing is. does she get off to the shame of being seen around a dude like you? do her knees go vweak at the idea of taking orders? cant handle some trollhandling? shell hiss and scratch a little, but keep up the pressure and shell crack. shell get all blushy evwen as she snarks, and shell call you a creep but she wvont stop you. these ones lowve getting taken somewvhere priwvate to "chevw you out" wvhen really they just wvant an excuse to giwve you the chance to feel em up evwen more obwviously. then youwve got the magic dabblers. magic is fake as hell, obvwiously, i think vwhat they technically do is majykks or howvevwer you spell it. doesnt matter. these ones are bored as hell and theyre wvilling to make it just about anyones, uhh... the opposite of a problem. you see a rose thinking about testing a spell from some spooky tome on herself, encourage it, shes one of these. if they can find some excuse to giwve you the reins, they wvill. find a vway to justify your ovwn magical acumen. these are usually the type wvho wvanna givwe up control, wvanna stop thinking, so take charge and giwve that to em. i think if you leawve any rose alone vwith an esoteric tome long enough she becomes one of these, so go for it if thats vwhat youre into. if youvwe got a rose vwho doesnt seem to fall into either category, but youre sure she could like dudes, then you gotta mold her yourself. make jabs at her competence, emphasize hovw easy it is for you to push her around physically, make her feel small. shell push back, but youre prodding at stuff shes already thinking about herself. shell nevwer accept you as her equal so you gotta tear her dovwn until shes about to implode, then offer yourself as a shoulder to cry on. a confidante. she can trust you, vwho wvould you tell, vwho wvould believwe you? then you make your mowve. make her feel useful, use her, make her think that givwing you her body is just as good as wvovwing you wvith her mind. you gotta be her rock. the genetic predisposition to soporifics abuse is a great help here. shes used to feeling this wvay, ewven if she cant admit it, you gotta make it feel good. make her associate this state vwith pleasure, wvith you. if you can do that, youvwe got her in the palm of your hand. alright, time for the rating bod: roses havwe a lotta wvariance, ivwe seen em scrawvny and iwve seen em curvwy as hell. bonus points for being blonde and making the best faces vwhen theyre mad. 8/10 vwariety: 9/10 you can get a rose for just about any mood you might havwe, but theyll usually act grumpy about it ease: you gotta wvork a little bit to make a rose put out, but theyre usually entertaining enough its not frustrating. 6/10 personality: i lovwe em for their rambling, makes for fun banter, but i can see hovw itd put some people off. the ice queen schtick really does it for me those 7/10 ovwerall? ten outta ten babes, cant complain. im alwvays happy to see a nevw rosie in the bubbles and figure out her deal. usually her deal ends up being an unhealthy obsession vwith xeno-biology
- zip! it! buster!!! - i dress to !!! my !!! tastes! - that is !!! good enough !!! for me! - im not trying to impress anybody!!!!! - maybe you put all of your self worth in how other people view you! - which is pretty sad and pathetic! if were being honest! - i dont do that! - i dont care!!! - so step off!!!!!!
It *is* a nice throne.
(PSST, The primary difference is that your words can't inspire any true emotional interaction and response from me. You are effectively talking to a constrjct formed of a mental pus.)
No. I'm not illiterate. I read every word. I have at least a passing grade in tbat regard. But. I am still a lobotomite. There's a difference.
Didn't need to know you were fertile, bro. #suggestive
wēll nøw i døn’t knøw whāt tø bēlīēvē
"= did so. ="
you abso|ute|y did hehe
﹏﹏S﹏﹏ :( Oh what a deSssperate Sssituation! Have you conSssidered employing even more muleSss to your Ssservice? I have Ssseen your SsstreamSss, I know you to be quite the capable, young girl! Failing that...PerhapSss it iSss time to refine your powerSss to grab hold of larger, Ssstronger prey? ﹏﹏S﹏﹏
wow... wow. (i'm saying this about you, not the guy in your basement)
I was going to ask if you were still having fun but that seems apparent.
this is some looney tunes bullshit
you're saying that as if i'm an ai activist or something. gross.
screw you, dude!
those are a lot of i's. i am reading it as if it's one of those ai voices, haha!
｢(Ｏﾟ皿ﾟＯ) n-no... megane... don't-｣ ｢*growls*｣ ｢g-gyah!!!......｣ ｢heh...(ФωФ)｣ ｢𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖒𝖊 𝖚𝖓𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖘 𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖒𝖊....｣
insects 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 are a beautiful and necessary ᰍart 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 of the ecosystem 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 -) 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧
haha 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 necessarikitty 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 thats not exactly what yew wrote 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 but i keeᰍ saying that in my head 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 and smiling a little 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧
｢(-∀-`; ) ah... eto... data-chan has poor forum etiquette! (； ･`ω･´) tch...｣
thats ᰍrobably fir 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 haha 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 i hoᰍe yew meant 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 to invite a bunch of ᰍun comments 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 in resᰍonse to this 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 otherwise yew may have 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧 a tiresome night 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧
"= for sure. (pronunciation. tor-ture.) kind of. ="
｢( ´д｀) nyaht nyahcessarkitty!｣ [TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: this is the neko way of saying not necessarily!｣
*Carnie meower.