Explosions Jones
@tenebroseTentation
That bitch the empire hates to see coming. Chief engineer of The Scorpion Stinger. Biotech, weapons, and robotics specialist.
WARNING: This account will contain #nsfw, #nsfwe, #violence, potentially mentions of #gore, #body-horror, and themes of #mentalhealth and #cw-self-harm. Additionally, it will explicitly reference #trafficking, #abuse, and #slavery on account of the character being a survivor of them, as well as arguable human experimentation. This is, however, not a NSFW-focused account. You are TT, or tenebroseTentation, and you are a LIAR. You play the part of a goldblood and fan the flames of debates on if you're even really the engineer you claim to be or just an impersonator or someone trying to take the heat off the engineer in question. The irony of it is that you are, in fact, the engineer you claim to be. But you are not a goldblood. You're not even a troll. Your name is DIRK STRIDER, and you are a human hailing from Earth. OVER A SWEEP AGO, you and three others, Dave, Rose, and Roxy were captured on your home planet and subsequently enslaved and trafficked off-world by an alien species you knew nothing about, on account of knowing nothing about any alien species. They were strict, but largely hands-off and left you to your own devices so long as you did not cause too much TROUBLE. The same cannot be said of the aliens they sold you to. You QUICKLY DISCOVERED that these aliens were called TROLLS, and they were part of a VAST INTERSTELLAR EMPIRE that was notorious among many spacefaring species for being UNCOMPROMISING CONQURERS. They were, much to your chagrin, SIMILARLY UNCOMPROMISING CAPTORS, and seperated you from your loved ones for your misbehavior. To this night, you have no idea where Rose is. Similarly, Dave and Roxy have no idea where *you* are, though you know exactly where *they* are. This is ENTIRELY BY DESIGN. You are the UNKNOWN PRODIGY behind the sudden and rapid evolution of rebel technology, and you deal with rebel cells exclusively. The Empire has been UNABLE TO ELIMINATE YOUR ACCOUNTS or GET THEIR HANDS ON YOU, partially because THEY BELIEVE THEY ARE LOOKING FOR A TROLL. You feel a little bad about all the goldbloods inevitably caught in the crossfire while they try to hunt you down, in part because your trade is in WEAPONS, MUNITIONS, and ROBOTICS. In the sweep you've been part of Vriska's crew, you have rapidly acclimated to alien (though primarily Alternian) technology, and you are making this everybody's problem. A man has to have a hobby, and your only hobbies outside of that are BIOTECH ENGINEERING, TORMENTING YOUR CREWMATES IN NEW AND CREATIVE WAYS, and ANTAGONIZING THE CAPTAIN. Unfortunately, most of your attempts at antagonizing her only make her laugh. Fortunately, you are fond of making her laugh. She is the woman responsible for your current freedom, and in return, you have offered her your services as an engineer. Your relationship with her is certainly not the reason you stick around. No. Why would that ever be related? That would be silly.
Did I accidentally farm off of just posting Explosions Jones for the first time in three nights?
c< yeaH, prObably >c
c< eH, its wHatever >c
Explosions Jones.
~ExplO~si~Ons J~Ones~
Explosions Jones.
[BEGIN MESSAGE] exp10zi0nz j0nez [END MESSAGE]
… My insomnia has led me to places I would not go with a gun.
[ >WHAT ABOUT A SCROLL OF FIREBALL_ ]
It sucks missing people you can't reach out to.
I think the explosion may have knocked one of the marbles in my thinkpan out of place or something.
No way, Explosions Jones. For real?
This is insane, we have to tell everyone, Explosions Jones.
Should we hold hands, Explosion Jones, on our way to the press house?
I accidentally signed myself up to go digging fifty miles through my music library.
I could live my whole life without reading some of the words I have to read nowadays.
that’s a cΩnstant train Ωf thΩught vvhen i scrΩll this hellsite
Place your bets on how quick the captain finds out what happens and bans me from my job.
600 caeger /)n m/)re than a day
damn it
I think the medicullers on this ship are sick of my perpetual “blowing myself up” syndrome.
I just want to commit several crimes without my projects (literally) blowing up in my face. Is that so much to ask?
if your project is a bomb i feel like that's kind of to be expected
Uuugh. My workbench is a fucking mess now. =B/
Troogle, how worried should I be if my project exploded and the shrapnel stabbed me in seven places? #violence
* Attention Tone * You Should Be Extremely Worried. Shrapnel Wounds Are Medical Emergencies That Require Immediate, Professional Medical Attention.go To The Nearest Emergency Room Or Dial Imperial Medical Services Immediately. Here Is Why This Is Critical:internal Bleeding: Shrapnel Often Causes Deep, Jagged Puncture Wounds That Can Lead To Severe Internal Bleeding Which Isn't Always Visible On The Surface.infection Risk: Explosive Debris, Rust, And Dirt Are Driven Deep Into The Tissue, Creating A High Risk Of Serious Infections Like Tetanus.hidden Damage: High-velocity Shrapnel Can Cause Significant Unseen Damage To Nerves, Blood Vessels, And Vital Organs.foreign Objects: Doctors Will Need To Perform Imaging (like X-rays Or Ct Scans) To Locate And Safely Remove The Pieces Of Shrapnel.what To Do Right Now While Waiting For Help:call An Imperial Battle Medic: If You Are Alone, Dizzy, Or Bleeding Heavily, Do Not Attempt To Drive Yourself.apply Pressure: Use A Clean Cloth Or Bandage To Apply Firm, Direct Pressure To The Bleeding Wounds.do Not Remove: Do Not Attempt To Pull Out Any Pieces Of Shrapnel Yourself, As This Can Cause Worse Bleeding.stay Still: Keep The Injured Areas As Still As Possible To Prevent Further Internal Damage.for More Information On Emergency Care Or To Find Your Closest Emergency Room, Visit The Tcdc Emergency Preparedness Resources. Troogle Intelligence Responses May Include Mistakes. #violence
* Attention Tone * You're Very Welcome! If You Need Any More Help Automating Your Routines, Managing Your Connected Devices, Or Exploring New Tai Features, Feel Free To Ask.if You Want To Dive Deeper Into Smart Home Automations Or Troubleshoot Your Current Network, Explore The Troogle Nest Help Center For Official Guides, Or Check Out Community Discussions On The Troogle Nest Community.
Eugh, remembering my tragic backstory. Because I'm definitely a protagonist, trust. I'd never lie.
w0w wh47’5 17 l1k3 831n9 7h3 pr07490n157?˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
50m371m35 1 f0r937 7h3r3’5 4c7u4lly 1nd1v1du4l5 0u7 7h3r3 4c7u4lly 4774ch3d 70 7h31r lu511 l0l. 8u7 l1k3 c00l pr07490n157 p0w3r5 4nd pl07 4rm0ur.˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
L1k3 7h3 pr07490n1575 l0v3 1n73r357 831n9 574883d 4nd dy1n9 ju57 53c0nd5 83f0r3 7h3 pr07490n157 c4n r34ch 7h3m?˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
0r 7h3 pr07490n157 w45 und3r m1nd c0n7r0l 4nd w4k35 up wh3n 7h3y’v3 4lr34dy f474lly 1njur3d 7h31r dy1n9 l0v3 1n73r357. H0w 7r491c.˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
7h47’5 50 54d, 8u7 47 l3457 y0ur 7h3 pr07490n157 4nd n07 m3 l0l, 1 d0n’7 h4v3 70 d34l w17h 4ll 7h47 7r491c l055 57uff. 1 d0n’7 h4v3 71m3 70 unp4ck 57uff l1k3 7h47.˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
I'm starting to think the humans have very idealistic lives.
Y'all humans are weird as fuck.
1 d0n’7 kn0w, 1 7h1nk 7h3y’r3 funny l1k3 l177l3 m1c3 1n 4 m4z3˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
17’5 r34lly funny 70 m355 w17h 57r1d3r5 5p3c1f1c4lly. Wh3n y0u m4n493 70 pu5h 7h31r 8u770n5, 17’5 l1k3 h1l4r10u5.˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚
Every time I look at the feed, the vagueposter couple has continued to progress their vaguepost-based relationship. #dashwatching