The Unvirgin
@theUnvirgin
xoxo [ Helmsunit and hater. ] [ it/its xey/xem ]
yet anxother example xof trxolls apprxopriating frxom pissblxoxod culture (becxoming infected with a virus that xovertakes yxour pan).
if yxou remxoved the genetic slime rxopes frxom yxour hearspxonges first maybe yxou cxould listen and cxomprehend xoxo
attempting sxomething hilarixous keep yxour ganderbulbs wide xoxo
hey everyxone it's me, the trxoll with the wxorst life imaginable. nxoxone ask me what specifically is bad, thxough. yxou just have txo knxow whatever yxou're gxoing thrxough, what i'm gxoing thrxough is wxorse. feel bad fxor me xoxo
an0nym0usly c0nfessing y0ur hard 0n f0r the m0st desperate tr0ll 0n chittr wh0'd immediately fuck any0ne that gives him the slightest bit 0f attenti0n instead 0f just sliding int0 his dms is the saddest thing i've ever seen. #dashwatching #n0tavaguep0st #thisisab0utcr0nus
exactly, cmon!
1T'S FUCK1NG FUNNY
d0n't get me wr0ng, it's hysterical. it's just als0 deeply embarrassing. if y0u can't figure 0ut h0w t0 fuck a cr0nus there's n0 h0pe f0r y0u.
OH FOR SUR3. 1 WOND3R HOW MUCH OF 1T 1S JUST 3MB4RR4SSM3NT 4BOUT 4DM1TT1NG TO 1T 4T 4LL?
well that's stupid. we're all adults here. just 0wn up t0 it.
WOULD *YOU* W4NT TO 4DM1T YOU W3R3 DOWN B4D FOR TH3 MOST D3SP3R4T3 TROLL ON H3R3?
0k g00d p0int.
there's twxo blxoxodgenders. cullbait and the culler. xoxo
did yxou have txo train txo becxome this stupid xor dxoes it cxome txo yxou naturally? xoxo
always glad txo be xof educatixonal assistance txo xour highblxoxod xoverlxords xoxo
>> rea11y ¡ th¡nk we ડhou1d be aડk¡ng what propr¡etary ડpray you're wear¡ng to ward off a11 the b¡tcheડ ┐(´ー｀)┌ you cou1d take that ડh¡t on Tro11 ડhark Tank and wa1k out a b¡11¡ona¡re for revo1ut¡on¡z¡ng chem¡ca1 deterrentડ and then ડt¡11 go back H¡ve a1one <3
"= kind of true ="
the amxount xof trxolls i have fxogging up the see-thrxough pane txo my helming bay as they pant and gawk at my rxotting battery cxorpse has becxome a tripping hazard fxor my crew. all i dxo is suck fuck and buzz and still these bitches cant get enxough. it's exhausting being the pexople's favxourite, mxost specialist little wind-up txoy. teach me what it feels like txo be alxone, i desperately need the relief xoxo
>> oh buddy, ¡ have p1enty of m¡rrorડ for ya, ¡'11 ડpare you one free of charge ડo you can f¡nd what you're 1ook¡ng for ડurpr¡ડed you cou1dn't afford to take a 1ook at your own ref1ect¡on w¡thout another man hand1¡ng ¡t for ya
are yxou trying txo pathetically stutter yxour way thrxough saying i shxould take a lxong hard lxoxok at myself xor are yxou truly just spitting indecipherable hxoxofbeastshit in the hxopes sxomething cxomes xout txo be insulting fxor me lmfaxo
>> oh hun, ¡t'ડ not an ¡nડu1t, ¡t'ડ an obડervat¡on :))
sxo the answer is yxou were hatched withxout a thinkspxonge attached, thanks babe xoxo
what's up with pexople cxoming txo their kismesis' defense these nights. abhxorrent display xof quadsmearing. yxou're all begging txo be labeled as cullbait xoxo
[[ #tragic mun misread of notifications. now i have to take goldie out behind the shed. ]]
yxou think i pay attentixon txo rusties? like sxome kind xof sxoft lxoser?
((JHKBJAFS happens to the best of us. especially when youre in the rp fugue state. godspeed soldier
i knxow yxou're desperate txo, highblxoxod, but i'm txoxo much xof an insecure shallxow dumbass txo be wxorthy xof thrxoating yxour tiny bulge xoxo
genuinely disgusted that xother trxollian empires cxomprise xof useless limp individuals. embarrassing really. might be wxorthwhile culling all xof us txo avxoid the chance xof being assxociated with creatures with such weak pxosture pxoles. #vaguepxosting
listen here U bloody glorified battery that was MY fucking kismesis and NOBODY gets 2 talk 2 her like that but FUCKING ME!!!!!!!!!!! step off and go throat Ur highblood masters bulge o wait Ur already doing it cuz Ur grafted 2 a fucking dildo so U can fly Ur shitty warships around 2 go commit atrocities!
fantasizing abxout the pissblxoxod getting used and ruined by it's highblxoxod masters? aren't they a nasty little freak lmfaxo xoxo #nsfw
cxomment fxor a tbh xoxo
this entire site is cullbait, hxow any xof yxou have managed txo survive this lxong is truly miraculxous. it might start making me believe in the messiahs. rightexous hxonks and praise fucking be lmfaxo xoxo
Codtier. 38)
× 'cus I'm Deadlier Than Most Of The Things That Havve Tried To Cull Me ×
w w why dxon't yxou just DIG ARXOUND in there and make it perfxorm like a perfect puppet it isn't fucking REAL anyway let's just TXOY with it and USE it whenever we need txo get a BASIC FUCKING ANSWER. gather arxound shipmates lets see what the pissblxoxod dxoes when we insert a new rxod right intxo it's pan! it's jxoking fxor us nxow! xoh nxot like that it can xonly insult us sxo far xonly when its funny txo US xonly when its useful txo US. it isn't allxowed its xown fucking thxoughts remxove thxose quickly but xohhh we can't be BXOTHERED dxoing all the WXORK leave JUST ENXOUGH XOF IT BEHIND TXO DXO THE WXORK DXON'T GIVE IT AN XOUTLET IT'S TXOXO DANGERXOUS WITH AN XOUTLET RESTRICT IT MXORE MAKE IT MXORE HXONEST MAKE IT LESS HXONEST JUST KEEP FUCKING WITH IT
y y yxou dxon't knxow fucking ANYTHING yxou never knxow ANYTHING all yxou dxo is ask stupid fucking questixons and yxou get surprised when yxou get stupid fucking answers sxorry txo break it txo yxou big guy but i i i
[BEGIN MESSAGE] i zee y0ur technicianz are a1z0 mezzing ar0und. [END MESSAGE]
fuck yxou fxor reading this and fuck me fxor ever being alive enxough txo pxost it
[BEGIN MESSAGE] ap010giez. zympathetic. i wi11 n0t ap010gize f0r reading thiz h0wever. [END MESSAGE]
(( I typically dont do ooc posts on my accounts bc I feel they disrupt the flow, but it might be necessary with this one in particular :"3. This character is and will be a rancid asshole. I have IC reasons for why and enjoy seeing and having assholes and "antagonists" on the dash. Feeds the online ecosystem. Creates some drama. However!! That isn't fun for everyone. Blocking IC will be taken as a "i do not want this type of roleplay" and I will act appropriately and take no offense. Much love <3 ))
((to each their own. If it isnt your preference than dont stress about it. you do you!
BZZT. The Mercury has gone into battery-saving mode. Do not be alarmed. BZZT. All life functions will remain operational. BZZT.
(\_/) i thought you meant the planet, and i was like 'oh no those human astrology girls are gonna lose their shit' (\_/)
this shit is sxo fucking embarrassing hey everyxone cxome lxoxok at the battery lmfaxo