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Dave Strider

@turntechGodhead

he/they - call me a percussionist the way im hand delivering these tunes right to your eardrums

Blood: RustKult Score: 186Kull Score: 3823 followers4 following
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told kk to get ready for the reunion and he referred to me as his boytoy and then john fucking agreed with him there is no god damn loyalty or truth left in the world #nsfw

one time i was having too much fun existing at the club and got asked if i had molly like lol sorry no theres just something up with my brain #substances

Kult: +60
Kull: +45
Total: 105
Ratio: 1.33

the lights are very mesmerizing.

I get asked if I am on drugs constantly.

oh my god shadow the hedgehog im a huge fan of you existing

damn maybe you should inspect that

thank you i am also a fan of me existing.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

They just can't handle me. And that's okay.

Who’s Molly.

dont even worry your beautiful horse face about it

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Okay. Thank ya kindly stranger.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

both john and karkat were telling me im the worst at being gay (not a man enjoyed btw) and then someone told me to test it and now that i actually need them here to prove a point (not gay) neither of them are home what the fuck

Kult: +10
Kull: +5
Total: 15
Ratio: 2.00

where the fuck are you you little shitheads

official poll do i seriously looks like a man enjoyer

Kult: +107
Kull: +85
Total: 192
Ratio: 1.26

youre one to talk

UH HUH.

Kull: +5
Total: 5

fuck you

Kull: +5
Total: 5

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY. #NSFW #IMJOKING

Kull: +5
Total: 5

whats wrong with enjoying men??

cant be gay if i dont fuck dudes and thats that case closed #nsfw #notgay

Kull: +5
Total: 5

nothings wrong with men i just dont kiss them and my rommates keep telling me to slur it up right after i gained a tiny filter because "its your slur" or whatever

oh, well maybe you should try!! the kissing part, not the slur. :p

Kult: +5
Total: 5

im brave enough to know that wont change anything and ive got the tester audience if anyone sees john or karkat tell them to get the fuck back home im gonna prove a point checkmate bitches

Kult: +5
Total: 5

whatever you saaaaaaay :B

guys i live with two other men do i get the f slur pass

Kult: +35
Kull: +30
Total: 65
Ratio: 1.17

YEAH. SOURCE: ME.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

thanks youre a real one anyway they keep calling me the worst undercover faggot theyve ever seen

Kult: +5
Total: 5

YOU JUST GOTTA KISS EM LIKE ONCE

do i look like a boykisser to you

YES PRETTY MUCH

Kull: +5
Total: 5

HTTPS://IH1.REDBUBBLE.NET/IMAGE.5632230241.4283/RAF,360X360,075,T,FAFAFA:CA443F4786.U2.JPG

question for trolls do you guys regrow teeth like sharks or are you part of the general two sets and done deal

Kult: +15
Kull: +15
Total: 30
Ratio: 1.00

our eriiiidan/ii doe2/do.. ii don"t knoww iif iit appliie2 twwo all of them though..

Kult: +5
Total: 5

<' we usually constantly grow teeth but if the ac2al base where the teeth grow out of is broken it can be permanently missing. at least as far as i'm aware.... '>

Kult: +5
Total: 5

to any other human who happens to live in close quarters with a troll do they use you and your other human roomate as a chew toy y/n

Kull: +5
Total: 5

#strilondereunion hey so whos gonna tell dirk about this because it sure as fuck aint gonna be me and he hasnt noticed in the ten minutes its been there [the photo is slightly blurry and out of focus, zoomed in on the back of dirks head where theres a spot of bright blue, likely the result of a prank]

the #strilondereunion is going great [a picture of john and karkat still fighting is attached below, the legs of various people seen sitting and standing around in the background, someone is being passed a handful of coins one of daves hands is in frame giving a thumbs up]

Kult: +22
Kull: +17
Total: 39
Ratio: 1.29

◥▶◀◤ —> Wh.... why wasn't I invited?

Kull: +5
Total: 5

all strilondes are invited you can legit just show up

me and my bitches [below is an image of dave, shorter than both john and karkat who are squabbling in the background the troll has his teeth bared and john is laughing despite the fact karkat is mid-leap off a chair to tackle him]

Kult: +30
Kull: +30
Total: 60
Ratio: 1.00

Things seem livebee in the Strider hiveh♥︎ld.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

i think karks is going to actually kill him this time, theyre wrestling on the floor and he keeps doing the growl-rattle thing trolls do when they get pissed

Kult: +5
Total: 5

S♥︎unds like he’s getting pr♥︎per enrichment then.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

gotta let that dog out sometimes or he gets bitey

Kult: +5
Total: 5

Fr♥︎m what I kn♥︎w ab♥︎ut Karkat, he gets bitebee regardless ♥︎f whether ♥︎r n♥︎t y♥︎u “let that barkbeeast ♥︎ut”

Kult: +5
Total: 5

alright the reunion of strilondes and their bitches begins enjoy these dope digs provided by @tentacletherapist#7214 and commence with the bullshittery #strilondereunion

Kult: +40
Kull: +50
Total: 90
Ratio: 0.80
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@tentacleTherapist[TT]

Some rules: Keep your phones in airplane mode, the WiFi password is by the front door for your convenience. The third floor is strictly off limits. BYOB, food is all taken care of. Also BYOD. Clean up after yourselves.

Kult: +5
Kull: +5
Total: 10
Ratio: 1.00

?

excluding those who literally live in the internet youre cool like that

Kull: +5
Total: 5

Ah, I was under the impression this would be in person. Rather irksome.

dw dude ill carry you around this will be the most in person these antisocial fucks can get

Kull: +5
Total: 5

I see.

alright yall what do you think the worst thing to eat would be sensory-wise my money is on licorice because its straight up just flavored wax

sorry rose im documenting the reunion im exempt from the rules

told kk to get ready for the reunion and he referred to me as his boytoy and then john fucking agreed with him there is no god damn loyalty or truth left in the world #nsfw

Kult: +64
Kull: +60
Total: 124
Ratio: 1.07

no way am i the bitch here both of them cry at the worst movies known to human cherub and trollkind

Kult: +2
Kull: +5
Total: 7
Ratio: 0.40

nope. bitch time

Kull: +5
Total: 5

its ok 2 b a boytoy

Kult: +5
Kull: +5
Total: 10
Ratio: 1.00

nothing about me says bitch boytoy what the fuck is this slander

lsiten i would luv 2 b a boytoy but i cant b 1. u gotta carry th torhc

heavy is the crown how the fuck am i supposed to be the boytoy to those two theyre bigger then me and at this point its just embarrassing to give in to the title

Kult: +7
Total: 7

make them carry ur purse

damn never thought of that one maybe youre right does this mean i can get them to make me a sandwich

absolutely its boytoyphobic if thy dont make it

aw fuck im not gonna beat the boytoy allegations if i ask though ive gotta have at least plausible deniability

Kult: +5
Total: 5

strilonde and co reunion whats up fuckers

Kult: +50
Kull: +50
Total: 100
Ratio: 1.00

the co part of that is for those of you who also manage to get mad bitches bring your partner so its less awkward

Kull: +5
Total: 5
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@tentacleTherapist[TT]

I can host.

Kult: +5
Kull: +5
Total: 10
Ratio: 1.00

thank fuck otherwise i was just gonna find us a parking lot to stand in

Kull: +5
Total: 5

@turingtranscendence tf are you hating for youre part of the strilonde gang youre invited too

Kull: +5
Total: 5
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@tentacleTherapist[TT]

We'll have government grade security and seclusion, apt for all kinds of tomfoolery that us lot can get into.

Kult: +5
Kull: +5
Total: 10
Ratio: 1.00

its gonna be like the spiderman pointing meme

Kult: +5
Kull: +5
Total: 10
Ratio: 1.00

And when will this be hosted?

give me 15 minutes and then were going hog fucking wild in here

Kull: +5
Total: 5

It has now been 15 minutes.

Kult: +5
Total: 5

never let anyone hate on the show mash that shit is so fucking good and its not just because klinger was walking around dressed fine as fuck

Kult: +5
Kull: +5
Total: 10
Ratio: 1.00

i love spreading true information through roleplay. AKA i have a mint allergy and there actually is a cinnamon toothpaste on the market that doesn't cause your mouth to tingle for hours afterwards. this has been: i fucking hate mint so fucking much. however i currently use bubblegum kids toothpaste because i need to finish this tube first before i start another tube

Kult: +30
Kull: +20
Total: 50
Ratio: 1.50

I should also mention: it only extends to artifical mint. the real mint doesn't bother me but the artifical stuff does, and that's what's in 90 percent of cheaper toothpaste brands nowadays. there's a company online that does really good flavor selection but it's not in my country, so i'd have to pay overseas shipping for fucking TOOTHPASTE. and i can't afford that. it makes me want to uproot entire buildings. there should be more of a selection of toothpaste that's not mint readily available and affordable for the common person, and not a 'luxury good'.

Kull: +5
Total: 5

i might actually have this artificial mint allergy... huh... i tolerate it bc mint makes my mouth feel so clean even if the actual process sucks for me. might try the cinnamon stuff

Kult: +2
Kull: +5
Total: 7
Ratio: 0.40

yea i mean as long as it doesn't cause you to go into like. anaphylactic shock you should be fine, but i stay away from it mainly because it causes me so, SO much pain. it made me not want to brush my teeth, and, well, keeping your chompers clean is kinda important lol

Kult: +5
Total: 5

while im here with the correct food opinions mint isnt even that great the whole burning feeling when you eat it is just a pain in the ass and a bullshit aspect any scientists out there wanna explain why that happens instead of it just tasting cold why the fuck does it need to make your eyes burn

Kult: +55
Kull: +60
Total: 115
Ratio: 0.92

:33 < its just cold spicy.

Kult: +5
Kull: +5
Total: 10
Ratio: 1.00
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@deathlessDeadwood[DD]

♯FUCK ♯MINT

Kull: +5
Total: 5

you cant be allergic to mint thats like a little bitch allergy and sounds fake as fuck

Kult: +10
Kull: +5
Total: 15
Ratio: 2.00

hey bro jsyk daves have a high chance of being minorly allergic to mint. and also cinnamon flavored toothpaste exists with the amount of fluoride needed for teeth. trust me dude. also you're 100 percent correct, mint suck

Kull: +5
Total: 5

are you shitting my pants right now i cant be allergic im built better then that

Kull: +5
Total: 5

dude. dude i am a you. please trust me on this. use the non-mint toothpaste. you don't have to brush your teeth in pain anymore. take my hand bro

Kull: +5
Total: 5

The Burning Sensation Is Just Your Tastebuds Dying, No Biggie! :-)

Kull: +5
Total: 5

god dammit here were are hand in mint-hating hand with a toothbrush in the other this has to be the dumbest allergy ive ever heard

Kull: +5
Total: 5

it really does suck eggs yeah but trust me the cinnamon toothpaste doesn't leave your mouth tingling for half an hour afterwards

Kull: +5
Total: 5

booble let me know they have fucking blue raspberry apple toothpaste ive come out of this a better man

Kult: +5
Kull: +5
Total: 10
Ratio: 1.00

hot take but you dont have to heat up soup to eat it just use the lid and slurp it right out of the can you dont have to be so fucking extra and use a god damn stove

Kult: +40
Kull: +35
Total: 75
Ratio: 1.14

microwave??

fuck no the heat starts bouncing on that thang and then your out of soup and a microwave

my spaghetti-os used to do that until i realized i was supposed to pour those suckers into a bowl and also remove the spoon

𐂐◯𓇋 I should beat the shit out of you.

why the hell would i have a bowl or a spoon it comes with a lid

Kult: +2
Total: 2

sounds like someone is jealous of my soup

https://c.tenor.com/hYgBStbAH4wAAAAd/tenor.gif

@barackobama is it homophobic to ask your bro to stop filming porn in the living room at 4 in the fucking morning

Kult: +20
Kull: +19
Total: 39
Ratio: 1.05
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@barackObama[BO]

No, I would not define that as homophobic, although I am no expert on the matter.

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@dStrides[DS]

im not obama but no its not

@barackObama[BO]

you heard the man prohomo probono just not in the living room at ungodly hours

Kull: +2
Total: 2

because trans day of visibility is over that means you can go back to doing crime and not get caught

Kult: +10
Kull: +2
Total: 12
Ratio: 5.00

dog what the actual fuck is all this shitting on spiderman you shouldnt be asking if he counts as a real hero you should be wondering how the fuck he doesnt go splat every time he comes to a stop with that fucking closed circulatory system give that guy an exoskeleton

Kull: +2
Total: 2