L🎱RD ENGLISH
@unhackabledottildeUath
△⚪🟣🟡🎱🔴🟡🟢🔵
anot)(er green c)(ud roamin' around )(ere. eug)(... t)(ats gonna get annoyin fast.
IT IS IN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO HOLD YOUR TONGUE, EMPRESS-HANDMAIDEN.
see at least t)(e ot)(er green c)(ud i got to drink wit)( and kick it back and smoke cigars wit)(. youre just... gross. eyo @un)(ackabledottildeUat)( w)(ere u at buoy
STILL? anot)(a you is man)(andlin everyfin wit)(out you and callin you not)(in, you gonna stand for t)(at?
ITS B----E-----EN TWO W-----E-----EKS
HELLO, BITCHES.
THERE IS ALWAYS SOME INANE BULLSHIT GOING ON IN MY REPLIES. BUT IT IS ALWAYS CONSIDERABLY MORE GHOULISH HAVING TO LOOK AT FAR INFERIOR VERSIONS OF MY OWN SELF WHINE AND CRY AND WALLOW IN THEIR OWN ENVY!
NO. WE'RE NOT DOING THIS. NOT AGAIN. FUCK BACK OFF INTO BEING UNSUMMONED.
I am your ever transparent Host. To be precise and accurate with my current tier of employ, gaze upon my roster of newly hired individuals. @gullibleColumnist as the Doormaid. In this highly specialized role, the Doormaid will be in charge of the Keys to my manor and penthouse. @pliableDecadence#3682 as the Cuekeeper. You will find Serpaz's unique talents lend greatly to the maintenance of the various machinations assigned to her existence. @carbolicGalvanologist as the Chalkbox. As the Felt's Custodial Utilitarian, Karkat currently presides under direct command of the Handmaid during his trial period. A strong recommendation from Kurloz Makara has landed him this position. @terribleFate as the Nameless. Caliborn recruited this individual, whose many services are free to any member of English's Chosen upon request. Of course, there are many more to be considered, as this does not include my various contractors, free agents, double agents, triple agents, or those who simply enjoy the presence of the Felt in their operations. I have roughly twenty three more applicants to file through tonight. I will be doing so whilst enjoying the sweet chords of my Songbird, whose handle shall remain hidden until she decides it is time for her grand debut.
IT'S GETTING DISTINCTLY HARDER TO BE CLEAR ABOUT WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT WHEN I SAY "MY FELT" THESE DAYS.
As, to be clear, sire. You needn't worry about this iteration of the Felt. Whilst I appreciate your continued declaration of input, this iteration of the Felt services an iteration of self belonging to you that has yet to claim Lordship as his casual moniker.
DO I SOUND LIKE I'M WORRYING? I DON'T WORRY. WORRYING IS FOR THE FUCKHONKING BIRDS, AND I HATE BIRDS. REST ON YOUR LAURELS HERE SCRATCH, WE'RE LIKE THE APPLE-WALMART-NAMEBRAND OF TIME TRAVELING MAFIAS. THE TICKET'S ALREADY PUNCHED. THE .ATH FILE'S ALREADY GOING TO HAVE HAD BEEN RAN WHEN IT'S RUN WHEN THE TIME FOR IT TO HAVE HAD ALREADY BEEN RAN ARRIVES. MY FELT. HIS FELT. THE FELT. WHATEVER. I'LL BE IN THE FUMOIR WITH A DAMARA WATCHING MY SOAPS.
9️⃣ ➡️📄🤗🦎🖍️ https://forms.gle/5bjtuxCkvKi1roJK9 https://file.garden/adx3jxdfCBC6Cm8E/ask%20casey/image_2026-05-19_194640227.png https://file.garden/adx3jxdfCBC6Cm8E/ask%20casey/Untitled309_20260519194504.png
TOP OF THE LIST. AS IT HONKFUCKING SHOULD BE.
IIXTWG https://c.tenor.com/6XkbU9YqS1UAAAAC/tenor.gif
@unhackabledottildeUath
C4LLOUT POST FOR @UNH4CK4BL3DOTT1LD3U4TH 1'V3 COM3 TO M4K3 4N 4NNOUNC3M3NT; LORD 3NGL1SH 1S 4 B1TCH 4SS MOTH3RFUCK3R, H3 T4LK3D SH1T 1N 4MONG US. TH4TS R1GHT, H3 TOOK H1S 3V1L 4ND R4C1ST P3RSON4L1TY 4ND H3 W4S M34N ON 4MONG US 4ND H3 S41D H3 W4S "SO MUCH B3TT3R 4T T4SKS TH4N 3V3RYON3" , SO 1'M M4K1NG 4 C4LLOUT POST ON MY CH1TTR DOT COM, LORD 3NGL1SH, YOU'R3 B4D 4T T4SKS, 1T'S SO P4TH3T1C 1T'S NOT 3V3N FUNNY, 4ND GU3SS WH4T? H3R3'S WH4T MY T4SKS LOOKS L1K3: PFFFT, TH4T'S R1GHT, B4BY. 4LL PO1NTS, NO FUCK UPS, NO 1MPOST3RS. LOOK 4T TH4T, 1T LOOKS L1K3 TWO W1NS 1N 4 ROW. H3 C4LL3D US SH1T SO YOU KNOW WH4T? 1'M GONN4 C4NC3L H1S 4CCOUNT. TH4T'S R1GHT TH1S 1S WH4T YOU G3T, MY SUP3R C4NC3L B34M! 3XC3PT 1'M NOT GONN4 C4NC3L JUST H1S 4CCOUNT. 1'M GONN4 GO H1GH3R. 1'M C4NC3LL1NG H1S GOONS TOO! HOW DO YOU L1K3 TH4T, TROLLB4M4? 1 C4NC3LL3D YOUR 4CCOUNT 1D1OT! YOU H4V3 23 HOURS B3FOR3 TH3 C4NC3LL4T1ON GO3S THROUGH 1 HOP3 YOU 4LL D13.
YOU AND GRAY KANKRI CAN BOTH SHOVE IT UP YOUR PROVERBIAL AND NON-PROVERBIAL SHITHOLES.
COUNT3R PO1NT TH1S YOU HTTPS://1.POST1MG.CC/QNMV3S8W/SCR33NSHOT-20260514-011207.PNG
YOU LOT DO FUCKMOTHERING HONKSUCKING BLOW BULGE AT TASKS THOUGH ACTUALLY. EGGS AND BISCUITS GETTING INSTRUCTION FROM CANS COULD DO TASKS BETTER THAN YOU LOT.
HOLY SH1T 1'M SORRY FOR M4K1NG FUN OF YOU YOUR 4N OV3RW4TCH PL4Y3R YOU H4V3 1T 4S B4D 4S 1T G3TS
I'M NOT, BUT WHEN ONE OF MY BOYS ASKS HIS BOSS TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES WITH HIM, WHO AM I TO DENY?
OF COURSE I AM. THE BEST BOSS. THIS GAME IS FUCKING DICK THOUGH. AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT CLOVER SEES IN THIS HOGWASH.
yall join caseys among us code is jcflqg
@unhackabledottildeUath
among us please guys casey is crying because jack noir doesnt have it code is jliqg
Uno said #letherchitt
Hello, my Lord. I am here. I do not chitt often.
THAT'S WELL ENOUGH, MY STRONGEST SOLDIER. YOU DON'T HAVE TO CHITT ANYMORE THAN YOU FEEL LIKE CHITTING. IT'S WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT YOU'RE STILL AROUND. STOP BY THE SMOKING PARLOR AT THE MANOR SOMETIME SOON, CATCH UP WITH ME OVER EVENTS THAT WILL HAVE HAD ALREADY HAPPENED AND HAVE HAD YET SOON TO HAPPEN. YOU, I, AND CROWBAR WILL SHARE CIGARS AND SHOOT SOME BILLIARDS.
I will do that as soon as I have fed dogs. Be in soon, my Lord.
Okay I'm normal again sorry. Although I still would like to get in a physical altercation.
That was most definitely a fighting proposition.
YOU KNOW AS GOOD AS GODDAMN I DO THAT YOU WOULD BE LEFT A SMOLDER OBAMA-SHAPED OUTLINE IN A PILE OF ASHES ON THE CONCRETE LIKE SOMETHING RIPPED STRAIGHT OUT OF A FUCKHONKING LOONEY TUNES SHORT IF WE WERE TO GO MANO E MANO. EVEN THAT BESIDES, THAT "MOST DEFINITELY" DID NOT EXPLICITLY READ LIKE A HONKMOTHERING FIGHTING PROPOSITION. IT READ LIKE YOU'RE SEEKING A NEW MITT ROMNEY TO BE YOUR BIG SPOON, AND FELLA, I'M NOT LOOKING.
I'm fully aware you're not looking—what else would The Felt be for? You are away it's #TonguingTheHomies Tuesday, right?
I DON'T KNOW MUCH HARDER I CAN STRESS THAT I MAINTAIN A STRICTLY PATERNAL-PLATONIC, GUIDING POSITIVE MASCULINITY ROLE MODEL FIGURE TO MY GOONS SLASH BOYS SLASH MINIONS SLASH STALLIONS. DON'T BESMIRCH MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY GANGSTERS IN GREEN JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE JEALOUS AND YOU WISH THAT YOUR CABINET WASN'T A BUNCH OF GERIATRIC SELF-LOATHING SCUMBAG FUCKS, YOU GERIATRIC SELF-LOATHING SCUMBAG FUCK.
You know that's actually really nice. I'm glad you care for your subordinates in such a way.
Look forward to it. (I'm a troll, by the way.)
ANY PARTICULAR REASON YOU HAVE THE VERY MUCH DECEASED SINCE PRE-SCRATCH HUMAN BARAK OBAMA AS A PROFILE PICTURE THEN? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
I have edited out my horns to appeal to my human voters (and, it was a really solid picture, I can't deny that). I felt my last name gave clear insight as to my origins.