L🎱RD ENGLISH
@unhackabledottildeUath
△⚪🟣🟡🎱🔴🟡🟢🔵
MY FELT. AMONG US. NOW. KAFBMF.
JUST WATCHED BUGONIA. PRETTY SOLID.
IT SURE IS NICE HAVING GOONS WHICH YOU KNOW YOU CAN HAVE HAD ALREADY RELIED ON IN THE FUTURE TO HAVE HAD PREVIOUSLY CLOSED FUTURE STABLE TIME LOOPS AND PREVENT PRIOR AFOREMENTIONED FUTURE STABLE TIME LOOPS FROM DESTABILIZING.
yea)(, totally. u)(, totally did t)(at. t)(ey call me t)(e stabilizer.
OF COURSE YOU ALREADY DID TOMORROW. WE DID JUST TALK ABOUT IT TODAY, AFTER ALL.
yep. s)(ore did. s)(ore u)(... talked about it. t)(at i did do t)(at, btw. w)(ic)( i did.
QUITE, I FUCKING GUESS, MY LITTLE CONDESCENSION. THIS CONVERSATION IS STARTING TO FEEL LIKE A TIME LOOP.
MY FELT. HAVE ANY OF YOU SEEN MY GOOD BOWLER? NOT THE ONE I'M WEARING RIGHT NOW, THE ONE THAT I'M GOING TO BE WEARING IN TWENTY MINUTES.
Uhhh, no boss, I ain't. Lemme look around.
Sincerely It Is A Bowler Hat How Good Could It Possibly Be
CROWBAR, JUST THE LEPRECHAUN I WANTED TO SEE. LAST I CHECKED THE BOWLER WAS CAUGHT IN AN UNSTABLE TIME LOOP BECAUSE EGGS AND BISCUIT HAVEN'T BEEN KEEPING THEIR FUCKMOTHERING HANDS TO THEMSELVES. I'M WELL AWARE THAT THE LOOP WOULD HAVE ORDINARILY RESOLVED ITSELF, BUT AGAIN, I WILL BE WEARING AFOREMENTIONED BOWLER IN TWENTY MINUTES. DEAL WITH THIS.
I ain't gettin' nowhere near that, boss. I know how they get when they do their bullshit loop. I'm gonna wait it out and give a good smack like I always do wit' da crowbar.
GOOD WORK, CROWBAR. THE BOWLER IS WHERE IT IS MEANT TO BE. ATOP MY PERFECTLY SHAPED CRANIUM.
I'VE SEEN QUITE ENOUGH.
CALL ME TODD HOWARD THE WAY THAT THIS SHIT JUST WORKS.
I HAVE ARMED THE SALAMANDER WITH A TOMMYGUN.
IF IT HAS A NAME IT IS ESOTERICA. IT IS A CONSORT. IT IS A SALAMANDER. IT IS WEARING A FELT GREEN DRESS AND WIELDING A TOMMYGUN.
no uh her name is casey and like shes my daughter and can you give her a sword not a tommygun
CASEY, IS IT? INTERESTING. IN ANY EVENT, NO, FUCK YOU. I HAVE ALREADY DISPENSED A TOMMYGUN INTO CASEY'S POSSESSION.
STRIDER YOU MEGALOMANIAC FUCK, GET THE FUCK OFF MY POST. I AM NOT ARGUING WITH YOU ABOUT WHETHER TOMMYGUNS ARE COOLER THAN SWORDS (THEY ARE, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO ARGUE WITH YOU ABOUT IT).
An excellent choice. She will certainly find your gift and the addition of the battleaxe to be a most transformative experience.
I FEEL EXTREMELY MOTHERHONKING BONITA.
GOLF BALLS. INFERIOR LITTLE WHITE PLASTIC FUCKS COMPARED TO THE SUPERIORITY OF THE URBANE, SOPHISTICATED POOL BALL. WHEN I SHOW THESE MOOKS MY LOW PAR 70, THEY WILL KNOW THAT LORD ENGLISH DOES NOT FUCK ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO CHOPPING THE TURF.
DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN JUST TAKE WAVE-PARTICLE DUALITY? YOU CAN JUST TAKE IT FROM ELECTRONS AND SHIT. NO ONE WILL STOP YOU. YOU CAN JUST TAKE IT. IT'S LIKE DUCKS AT THE PARK.
WHAT CAN I SAY? I JUST VALUE MY BOYS. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/4b69a935e47e.png
MY FELT. THERE'S ANOTHER JOB THAT'S JUST COME THROUH THE ROTARY. I'M MOTHERFUCKING HUNGRY AS A SHIT, ON SOME HUNGRY HUNGRY TIME DEMON SHIT, AND WANT ONE OF MY BOYS TO STOP SOMEWHERE ON THEIR WAY BACK TO THE MANOR. YOU CAN GET YOURSELVES SOMETHING IF YOU WANT, WE'RE PUTTING IT ON MEENAH'S BILL. GET MCDONALD'S. I'D PREFER CULVER'S, BUT THERE AIN'T NO MOTHERHONKING CULVER'S ON ALTERNIA. GET A LARGE OREO MCFLURRY, IF THE ICE CREAM MACHINE IS BROKEN, KILL THE CASHIER. TELL THEM TO GIVE US FRIES WITHOUT SALT, SO THEY MAKE A FRESH BATCH. I'M STILL GOING TO PUT SALT ON THEM, MY FELT. ALSO GET TWO HAPPY MEALS FOR SCRATCH AND DAMARA. DAMARA WILL BREAK HER TOY SO I'M GONNA HAVE IT INSTEAD. SEE YOU SOON, MY FELT.
psst crowbar theyre asking what drinks they want with those happy meals they only serve coke products here is dr pepper fine? do you know everyones soda preferences?
Uhhh, fuck, just get the regular coke. Can't go wrong wit' da classics.
okay! i just have heard theres been wars over coke vs pepsi so i tried to err on the side of caution! if condy doesnt want her drink though i hope she doesnt mind if i have it... i deserve a little treat right?
yea)( fuck it take t)(e coke. im not a soda gal. im more of a sparklin water kinda bitc)(.
ARADIA. SO YOU ARE THE INTERN THAT I HAVE ALREADY HEARD AND SEEN SO MUCH ABOUT, WELL BEFORE THE BEGINNING OF THE TENURE OF YOUR INTERNSHIP. YOU WILL LOOK VERY DASHING IN GREEN. GET YOURSELF WHAT YOU LIKE. AN UNFED INTERN IS AN INEFFICIENT INTERN.
ive always got that impression madam you have the figure of a sparklin water kinda bitch
yes sir! i never imagined green would be my color but im sure i can grow into it! and a mccrispy and one of those mocha lattes will certainly help me grow into it!
https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/3912b738c55c.png
fuckkk ocray pause on me thinkin you a loser for a sec so i can acknowledge this is #tuff
it aint t)(at tuff w)(en t)(e fuck you get a bear t)(oug)(, wadda )(ell
Nah, that cigar's da real deal. That shit go... uh, "tuff", is what's everyone sayin'? Weird spellin' but whatever.
THANK YOU CROWBAR. THIS RESPONSE SERVES THE PURPOSE OF ME, YOUR ALLEGORICAL SHEPHERD AND MALE ROLE MODEL FIGURE, GIVING YOU AN AFFIRMING PAT ON THE BACK WHILE WE SMOKE OUR CUBANS.
IT'S NOT BULLSHIT. IT WILL BE HAVE ALREADY BEEN IMPORTANT. I HAVE SINCE SHAVED THE BEARD.
)(onestly s)(oulda kept it. beard goes kinda )(ard in like a deat)( grips kinda way
Ain't no better cigar in da market, boss.
I DO NOT LOVE MY BOYS. LOVE IS FOR FEEBLE HEARTED FUCKING WOMEN AND COMMUNISTS. OF WHICH I AM NEITHER. WHAT I FEEL FOR MY BOYS IS SOMETHING DEEPER. SOMETHING MORE PROFOUND. SOMETHING FAR MORE VALUABLE. SOMETHING THAT IS NOT TO BE ERRINGLY CONFUSED WITH AFFECTION, BECAUSE AFFECTION IS FAR TOO MOTHERFUCKING SHALLOW OF AN EQUIVOCATION. I VALUE MY BOYS. AND HANDMAID. MY STEELHEARTED MEN. AND HANDMAID. MY STALLIONS. AND HANDMAID. MY THREE PIECE SUIT WEARING GOONS. AND HANDMAID. THIS ONE GOES OUT TO YOU, MY FELT. AND ALSO DAMARA.
nice tØ knØw i am nØt a stalliØn.
I was going to post "guys I think he might like his Handmaid" but then I scrolled through my account and realized I have no room to talk.
THEY HATE ME BECAUSE I'VE GOT MOTION.
I HAVE LITERALLY NEVER NOT INTERACTED WITH YOu. ITCHY. I EVEN KNOW ABOuT YOuR ITCHSSuES. SEE ABOVE.
ALSO. ADDING. IMPATIENCE. TO YOuR LIST. OF ITCHSSuES. YOu ASK ME TO BAKE YOu A CAKE. YET KEEP INSISTING ON ADDITIONAL LAYERS.
"IF LORD ENGLISH WERE HERE HE'D BE OF THIS POLITICAL PERSUASION." "NO, IF LORD ENGLISH WERE HERE, HE'D BE OF THIS DIFFERENT POLITICAL PERSUASION." LORD ENGLISH, ALREADY HERE: "I AM RATHER FOND OF TAME IMPALA."
I DO NOT LOVE MY BOYS. LOVE IS FOR FEEBLE HEARTED FUCKING WOMEN AND COMMUNISTS. OF WHICH I AM NEITHER. WHAT I FEEL FOR MY BOYS IS SOMETHING DEEPER. SOMETHING MORE PROFOUND. SOMETHING FAR MORE VALUABLE. SOMETHING THAT IS NOT TO BE ERRINGLY CONFUSED WITH AFFECTION, BECAUSE AFFECTION IS FAR TOO MOTHERFUCKING SHALLOW OF AN EQUIVOCATION. I VALUE MY BOYS. MY STEELHEARTED MEN. MY STALLIONS. MY THREE PIECE SUIT WEARING GOONS. THIS ONE GOES OUT TO YOU, MY FELT.
Thanks Boss. I uh, not-love you too.
DAMARA, YOUR REQUEST HAS BEEN LODGED WITH THE APPROPRIATE PARTIES WITH AUTHORITY TO APPROVE SUCH A REQUEST. THE APPROPRIATE PARTIES BEING ME MY MOTHERFUCKING SELF AND I. FINE.
IT IS HUMOROUS BECAUSE I AM OBJECTIVELY THE FUNNIEST MOTHERFUCKER TO EVER BEING UNEXISTENCE AND DESOLATION TO PARADOX SPACE. DO NOT BE ASHAMED IN YOUR SNORTING. IT IS FUNNY. YOU ARE MEANT TO LAUGH. I PUT PRYOR AND CARLIN TO SHAME.
Bring it. I've been practicin' my corner shots.
MALT WHISKY.
TO BE CLEAR, I AM NO LONGER A CHERUB. I AM APOTHEOSIS. I AM INEVITABILITY. I AM THE EVER ENCROACHING DARKNESS AT THE EDGE OF THE NIGHT'S SKY. I AM THE SLOW DANCE OF DOUBLE DEATH IN A SMOKEY ROOM WITH A GLASS OF MALT WHISKY. I AM THE SMELL OF FELT. I AM ENTROPY. I AM ALL THE THINGS THAT CAUSE YOUR STOMACH TO CHURN. BUT, TO BE EVEN MORE CLEAR, CHERUBS ARE STILL OBJECTIVELY SUPERIOR TO WHATEVER SHITUGLY SPECIES YOU HAPPEN TO BE.
that said, credit where it's dUe, it was a nice speech Until that last sentence.
nϴ cl\/e wh/\t the hell yϴ\/'re t/\lkin /\bϴ\/t b\/t im ngl m/\n yϴ\/r pfp is h/\rd /\s f\/ck
HONK. HOOOOOOOOOONK. HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKK.
oh, and, feel free to attempt yoUr jUvenile bUllshit to aggravate me! it's a bit nostalgic, if no longer effective.
I WILL NOT BE DOING THIS, BUT IT DOES NOT FUCKING SURPRISE ME THAT A DUMB WORTHLESS STUPID WHORE LIKE YOU WOULD SPECIFICALLY REQUEST THAT I DO. I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO NOW THAN POINT OUT THINGS LIKE HOW THE SHAPE OF YOUR HEAD IS ACTUALLY EXTREMELY FUCKING GROTESQUE AND YOUR CHEEK SWIRLS ARE OBJECTIVELY FUCKUGLY HIDEOUS. I HAVE A CABAL TO MANAGE. I'M ON MY PRAY, EDUCATED, HAVING A JOB, CLEAN PUSSY, LOYAL, FAITHFUL ERA. YOU ARE STILL IN YOUR DIRTY HOUSE, HOE, GOLD DIGGER, STINK PUSSY, 5 KIDS, CHEATER ERA. WE ARE NOT THE SAME.