♥ liked by @unhackabledottildeUath

me? gongaga also sipy budlit

don drink frm paw patrol sipy made casye REEELLY sick todae so i fel auful

Looks good on ya, kid.

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「It was already obvious I had my position, I do welcome the others who are coming onboard as I do as well. The transition has been smooth, complacent, welcoming. Like sugar in tea. To those who are still in the process of application, do know what you're signing up to. It is a changing experience, but one that's colorful and different from usual life. A toss-up in the wind, one could state. I personally was always going to be here one light, whether it was sooner or later it didn't matter. It happens all the same, and that's something one grows comfortable with knowing. Predestination can be soothing. While there may be no explicit joy in what I do, I do as I do for the pride of knowing I am doing well. To live is to serve. And to serve is to live. Every key on the ring is meaningful in it's own way no matter how one could see it. It is my hope that my time as the Doormaid will continue on. As there's no foreseeable future for me where I can see myself away from this position. Take that as you will, take that as you must. And to my fellow members / workers, please let me know if you need anything. I am at your service no matter where you are, no matter how far you are. Call my name, and I'll be there as quick as one like me can be. Thank you for the position. https://files.catbox.moe/x23jud.png」

ATTENTION, WORTHLESS CHITTRLINGS. LONG TIME, NO CHITT. THERE HAVE BEEN SOME *AGGRAVATING* DEVELOPMENTS IN MY CAREER AS A PLATFORM USER, AS A CREATOR, AND ABOVE ALL, AS ONE OF THE UNLUCKY JACKOFFS STILL UNACCOUNTABLY FORCED TO EXIST IN A PLACE AND TIME WITHIN A MULTIVERSAL CONTINUITY OF ENDLESS, CACOPHONOUS FUCKRUMPUS PARADOX CHICANERY. BECAUSE I'VE BEEN BUSY TRYING AND FAILING TO WRIGGLE OUT OF THESE DEVELOPMENTS, I HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN AROUND TO PROVIDE AN UPDATE. I'M GOING TO DO THAT NOW. SO DON'T MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF, BECAUSE I WON'T. I'LL JUST PULL UP THIS CHITT, SEIZE YOU VIOLENTLY BY THE HEAD, AND SHOVE YOUR BLOODSHOT GANDERBULBS AGAINST THE SCREEN UNTIL THE AMBIENT HEAT COOKS THEM LIKE EGGS. READ, SHITSPONGE. READ THIS AND GET OFF MY DORSAL RIDGE ABOUT IT, BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE WHOLE. FUCKING. SCOOP. STARTING WITH THE BIG ONE. I WORK FOR THE FELT, NOW. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. I CAN HEAR THE QUESTION AT THE VERY FRONT OF YOUR THOUGHTSPONGE DOING BACKFLIPS, FRONTFLIPS, CARTWHEELS, AND ACROBATIC FUCKING PIROUETTES. "KARKAT, WHAT KIND OF TURBO-CHARGED JUJU-FLAVORED CRACK HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? DIDN'T YOU SPEND YOUR ENTIRE SESSION FIGHTING THIS JOLLY GREEN MANLET AND HIS BUMBLING CADRE OF BUMBLING ASS-BURGLARS? WHAT IN THE FRESH, FULMINATING *FUCK* MADE YOU SIGN A CONTRACT WITH *THESE* LOONEYBLOCK TIME BANDITS?" THE SHORT ANSWER? THE MIME MADE ME DO IT. LITERALLY. MY SPONGE STILL HURTS FROM WHERE HE SHOVED HIS PRONG IN IT LIKE A GLOVE AND MADE ME TYPE UP THAT APPLICATION. AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PLAN IS HERE, BUT I'M WILLING TO BET *ANYTHING* THAT HE'S GOT ONE. SO YES. AGAINST MY WILL. AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGEMENT. AGAINST A THOUSAND ETERNITIES OF BALEFUL, ENDLESS SUFFERING, I HAVE A NEW NINE TO FIVE. AND WITH IT, A NEW TITLE. ONE WHICH I AM *OBLIGATED* TO USE IN OFFICIAL CAPACITY, BUT I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU CALL ME "CHALKBOX" WHILE I'M OFF THE CLOCK, I'M GOING TO INVENT A NEW WAY TO PERFORM A LOBOTOMY. FUCK YOU, KURLOZ. FUCK YOU, SCRATCH. AND MOST OF ALL, COMING IN HARD WITH THE FUCK YOU X3 COMBO, IT'S A WHOPPING FIVE-SCOOP, CHOCOLATE-DRIZZLED FUCK YOU SUNDAE FESTOONED WITH OBLONG BUNCHFRUIT, WHIPPED CREAM, SPRINKLES, AND A CHERRY-RED MIDDLE FINGER ON TOP FOR MR. MALDING GREEN MANLET HIMSELF. I'M WEARING THE BADGE OUT OF SPITE. I AM CLOCKING IN FOR THE LONGEST DAY AT THE LONG DAY FACTORY I HAVE EVER WORKED. AND IF I EVER MANAGE TO CLOCK OUT, THERE WILL BE *HELL* TO PAY. ANYWAYS. I HAVE TO GO MOP UP A NASTY, REEKING PUDDLE OF NON-NEWTONIAN ECTO-PHLEGM, OR SOMETHING. HERE'S A PICTURE FOR THE ALGORITHM. THIS IS THE CHALKBOX, SAYING, "GO BRING THAT PILE OF DIRTY CUPS AND PLATES IN YOUR RESPITEBLOCK TO THE SINK, YOU FILTHY, WALLOWING SLOBHOGS." HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/67CB4DD16DFF.JPG

MAY YOUR STAY BE UNFORGETTABLE 🗝「As always it's a pleasure to serve you sir.」

I am your ever transparent Host. To be precise and accurate with my current tier of employ, gaze upon my roster of newly hired individuals. @gullibleColumnist as the Doormaid. In this highly specialized role, the Doormaid will be in charge of the Keys to my manor and penthouse. @pliableDecadence#3682 as the Cuekeeper. You will find Serpaz's unique talents lend greatly to the maintenance of the various machinations assigned to her existence. @carbolicGalvanologist as the Chalkbox. As the Felt's Custodial Utilitarian, Karkat currently presides under direct command of the Handmaid during his trial period. A strong recommendation from Kurloz Makara has landed him this position. @terribleFate as the Nameless. Caliborn recruited this individual, whose many services are free to any member of English's Chosen upon request. Of course, there are many more to be considered, as this does not include my various contractors, free agents, double agents, triple agents, or those who simply enjoy the presence of the Felt in their operations. I have roughly twenty three more applicants to file through tonight. I will be doing so whilst enjoying the sweet chords of my Songbird, whose handle shall remain hidden until she decides it is time for her grand debut.

Do I gotta prep rooms fer these new folk? Or are they contracted hires away from our Manor?

9️⃣ ➡️📄🤗🦎🖍️ https://forms.gle/5bjtuxCkvKi1roJK9 https://file.garden/adx3jxdfCBC6Cm8E/ask%20casey/image_2026-05-19_194640227.png https://file.garden/adx3jxdfCBC6Cm8E/ask%20casey/Untitled309_20260519194504.png
C4LLOUT POST FOR @UNH4CK4BL3DOTT1LD3U4TH 1'V3 COM3 TO M4K3 4N 4NNOUNC3M3NT; LORD 3NGL1SH 1S 4 B1TCH 4SS MOTH3RFUCK3R, H3 T4LK3D SH1T 1N 4MONG US. TH4TS R1GHT, H3 TOOK H1S 3V1L 4ND R4C1ST P3RSON4L1TY 4ND H3 W4S M34N ON 4MONG US 4ND H3 S41D H3 W4S "SO MUCH B3TT3R 4T T4SKS TH4N 3V3RYON3" , SO 1'M M4K1NG 4 C4LLOUT POST ON MY CH1TTR DOT COM, LORD 3NGL1SH, YOU'R3 B4D 4T T4SKS, 1T'S SO P4TH3T1C 1T'S NOT 3V3N FUNNY, 4ND GU3SS WH4T? H3R3'S WH4T MY T4SKS LOOKS L1K3: PFFFT, TH4T'S R1GHT, B4BY. 4LL PO1NTS, NO FUCK UPS, NO 1MPOST3RS. LOOK 4T TH4T, 1T LOOKS L1K3 TWO W1NS 1N 4 ROW. H3 C4LL3D US SH1T SO YOU KNOW WH4T? 1'M GONN4 C4NC3L H1S 4CCOUNT. TH4T'S R1GHT TH1S 1S WH4T YOU G3T, MY SUP3R C4NC3L B34M! 3XC3PT 1'M NOT GONN4 C4NC3L JUST H1S 4CCOUNT. 1'M GONN4 GO H1GH3R. 1'M C4NC3LL1NG H1S GOONS TOO! HOW DO YOU L1K3 TH4T, TROLLB4M4? 1 C4NC3LL3D YOUR 4CCOUNT 1D1OT! YOU H4V3 23 HOURS B3FOR3 TH3 C4NC3LL4T1ON GO3S THROUGH 1 HOP3 YOU 4LL D13.

youre in crowd of doomed copies im killin

minnow. i give a lotta s)(it to my boss. but for all t)(e s)(it i give )(im... )(e is t)(e only one i know to populate a bunc)( a doomed copies of all of you in one place for me to slaug)(ter over, and over, and over, and over... you really know t)(e way to a girls )(eart after all @un)(ackabledottildeUat)( I am goin to be busy t)(e rest of t)(e nig)(t.
I will do that as soon as I have fed dogs. Be in soon, my Lord.
Hello, my Lord. I am here. I do not chitt often.

yep. s)(ore did. s)(ore u)(... talked about it. t)(at i did do t)(at, btw. w)(ic)( i did.

yea)(, totally. u)(, totally did t)(at. t)(ey call me t)(e stabilizer.
i saved his stupid cØat. Øf spacetime. please clap. it Ønly tØØk tell that stitch that he cannØt use a whip stitch Øn it.

Uhhh, no boss, I ain't. Lemme look around.
2/4 people who reacted to my last post. Go die in a pit of fire.

Uh... alright, addin' da Salamander to the itinerary. Do it got a pool themed nickname? Or uh, anythin' close to it?

😮😮💚💚💚💚💚

@moxieCrystal we're gonna start t)(e filmin on wednesday. pack a bag. dont sweat outfits but brin w)(atever you need t)(at is comfortable to you.

...bonita, sir?
︎♥ ereht lla uoy ees ot epoH .dedulcni flesym ,gnidnetta eb lliw sgnilbis ym fo lla nierehw ,gnineve worromot llaB ytirahC ytiC thgindiM eht ot gniraew eb lliw i eritta eht eb llahs dna , deifitseTnaipseht@ rehtorb ym yb dengised saw ereh ees uoy tiftuo ehT .latrom kool sevlesmeht ekam ot yrt yeht nehw elbaroda s'tI gnp.6601_GMI/_Wm8fY1BYhEkWYPZ/nedrag.elif//:sptth

🥹🥹👔👗🟢✨

🤭🤭🤭💛💛

...t)(ats it? you know, i never see ya eat muc)(.

aint no betta feelin in t)(e world t)(an to trickle my talons along t)(e edges of someone's mind and slowly, surely, brin em into my orbit. i am t)(at ruination; t)(at w)(ic)( c)(anges you as a person and warps you forever as t)(e scars, t)(oug)( invisible, are caressed by me wit)( my soft, smoot)( arms despite not efin bein t)(ere at all.

..................................s)(ore...

:33< h33h33h33 :33< ITS A GOOD DAY TO BE SHITPETA! :33< https://i.imgur.com/ZZPTlGM.png

I N-E-ED AIR! I N-E-ED AIR OR WAT-ER, FUCK! )(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A

wh4t th3 h3ll 1s th1s 1m cry1ng.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A )()()()(A)(A)(A)()()(AAAAAA)(A)(A)(A)()()(A)(AAA)()(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A fuck, yea)( buddy, youre in a fuckin )(arem anime alrig)(t. you )(arem, t)(ey see you, and t)(ey RUN T)(------E FUCK AWAAAAAY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)()(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A O)(O)(OOOO)(...OOOO)(O)(OOO, O)( COD... MY SID-E... I )(AV-ENT LAUG)(-ED LIK-E T)(IS IN ------EONS Y-ER KRILLIN M----E )(-E-E-E-ER-E AAAA)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A

so basically im in vwhat rufioh tells me is called a "harem anime" https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c72de922b7ba.png @tentaclestherapist @trendygnostalgic @coronatecruelty @handmaid @catastrophicgalaxy #anime

didnt expect to make friendly relations wit)( a new species tonig)(t. callin it close encounters of t)(e... t)(ird kind. a)(e)(e)(.
B33 < nothing like getting hatespammed by hatebot after a mission B'33 < its good to be home
Okay, but I'm actually a lot more special than the rest.

my r&d people invented a golf ball t)(at )(omes in directly into t)(e grey matter of organic life. it avoids fusc)(ia bloods, and it certainly wont kill t)(at green ol' brute on account of )(is time s)(it, but once all t)(is golf stuff is over, )(a)(a)(a)(a)(a)(a)(, )(-----EADS WILL LIT------ERALLY ROLL!
He's a really cool boy!
"Who could have done this?" HE ASKS. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/817b349c7ba4.png
They really are rarely as clever as they think they are, aren’t they?
UhGH! Sorry, boss. We'll invite you next time!

)(e)(e)(e)(e)(e)(. )(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A)(A. yannow w)(at. one more scrap for you sad dogs. )(ttps://mspabooru.com//images/15/d42b67f49b6c5fe969dc999122d154cb.png?153518 #suggestive

blockin' me wont c)(ange your fate, bitc)(. i know i caug)(t you starin' enjoy it w)(ile you still can breat)(e.

for all t)(e stupidity you t)(row my way, all t)(e calls to moral and reason, all t)(e rebellion you can muster, youre all gutless, spineless, wort)(less worms in my s)(eer greatness and power. )(ere, )(ave anot)(er morsel of meat: t)(is was from a )(alloween pinup a good w)(ile back. )(ttps://mspabooru.com//samples/15/sample_9c4a1d60d0aefb3959fd63314a798cf6.jpeg?205394

)(e)(. diggin up my old outfit )(ad me find some ot)(er digs i )(ad for some old pinups i did. s)(it, just fitted myself on t)(is one again. looked at it in t)(e mirror; still fuckin' got it. )(ot damn. #suggestive )(ttps://mspabooru.com//samples/15/sample_46016853b67b39e45659bcd2156e93a0.png?179147
You know It's oddly Nice in a way that Lord English kinda seems like he hypes up his henchmen so far on this Didn't see that coming from a powerful time man
it will be lØcated when yØu let gØ Øf it. and it will be smashed intØ pieces. yØu will never recØver it.

Always hated Troll McDonalds. I don't make it a habit to visit Alternia for the same reason normal people don't go into tight cave systems; it's a fuckin' death sentence. But Troll McDonalds is a special hell, where the establishment smells like deep fried roach and soiled diapers, the patrons are loud, chittering (heyo!) and obnoxious, and worst of all, the meat ain't even that good. What my boss wants, he gets, though.

Ain't no better cigar in da market, boss.

cant believe i gotta drag my ass to a fuckin golf course. if it was up to me, id turn all t)(ese s)(itty golf courses into glorious torture dens of my own design. we're talkin several acres of )(allways leadin to cramped titanium cells wit)( various fucked up experimental torture strats to see w)(at inflicts t)(e most pain to a livin organism. least i can kill em all afterwards.

k
nice tØ knØw i am nØt a stalliØn.

Of course I was. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/384cf4a62162.png I still have my soon-to-be-former cigarette holder.

There is some confusion among the audience regarding the distinction between a cherub and the inevitability that shaped him. I am here to east these concerns. Yes. There is @caliBorn. A loud, proud, furious thing clawing at the seams of reality with bloodied daggers and a divine entitlement. The aspiring monarch on the verge of apotheosis. I have found him terribly charming in the way one finds a lit fuse charming after noticing the powder keg it is leading to. And yes. There is @unhackabledottildeUath, the Inevitable. You speak as though they are separate. One does not replace the other any more than a shadow replaced the object casting it. The cherub you observe is the comprehensible surface tension of chronology itself ready to break way to the final penny in the proverbial cup. Caliborn exists. Of course he does. How else could Lord English have always been here? Despite tantrums, crude declarations of selfhood, there is a consistency to our dearest lord. He insists, as though, the dread of himself isn't already reflected backward across every plane of creation. His greatness is only rivalled by his own, in which, they compliment one another. As Caliborn's Chosen, however, I must continue to foster the Lord to be in lieu of the Lord that always has been.

YOuR SISTER IS DEAD. YOu MORON. YOu CANNOT DO THE DuALITY THING. AND HAVE IT BE COOL. I WILL uNHINGE YOuR JAW AND TAKE A FAT WHIZZING PISS. DOWN YOuR PARTIALLY PISS REGuRGITATING THROAT. uNTIL THE SOuND THE DREAMBuBBLES. YOuR CLOGGED LuNGS PRODuCE. AND COuGH BACK uP. AMuSE ME ENOuGH TO FLuSH. WITH A BRuTAL NECK SNAPPING WAFFLE STOMP.

https://i.imgur.com/ZYR5Tir.png https://i.imgur.com/NkJMCK6.png https://i.imgur.com/1W1l6m2.png https://i.imgur.com/9jyG1dq.png https://i.imgur.com/asMtJL0.png https://i.imgur.com/kPJkHsx.png DO NOT BE FOOLED. BY POSERS. JACKASSES. SNAKE OIL SLICKSMEN. NONE OF THEM ME. LIKES. MEDIATION. PITY. SIGNS OF A WEAKER. LESSER MAN. PuRPORTING TO BE. TOP DAWG. MACK DADDY. THE BIGGEST. BADDEST. AND BITCHNASTIEST. MANY SuCH CASES. ALL OF THEM. VERY SAD.
Nuh uh! You're just awesome.

(( Image Description: a blurry photo of Earth's moon, exploded around some sort of green energy. )) https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/f237acdf700c.png
omG YEAH YEAH. YEAH!!! I'm your most loyal goon, definitely!
Oh man, oh man. The boss is in my mentions!

all fun and games til )(e comes over t)(e oval office and makes it green. )(e)(, w)(at am i tellin you t)(is for? )(ope you get got

Also for the record, I'm going to start ragebaiting Lord English in my replies because I think it's funny. If you do not want to see that content, I recommend blocking the tag "#LEBait," because I will at least tag things appropriately.
please ignØre my last pØst. as Øur lØrd has cØrrected me. he is the shepherd fØr his green sheeplings. whØ dØ nØt baa. but ribbit. and whØ are gay fØr each Øther. but nØt fØr him.
cØnsider the sheep. i suppØse.

Bring it. I've been practicin' my corner shots.
OH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! Fucking awesome!!!
i was agreeing. my lØrd.

Thanks Boss. I uh, not-love you too.
BOYS AND HANDMAID. WHEN YOU MAKE A POST LIKE THIS. PLEASE REMEMBER. BOYS AND HANDMAID ALSO. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE.
HEY! That's my boss!!!
#ØurlØrd is nØt a cØmmunist. cØnfirmed.

I LOVE #DEMOCRACY!!!!!!!!
As was commanded of me: https://imgflip.com/i/aqqqo4

🤗🤗🤗💛💛💛💛

Ah, hell. The Big Boss is back in town. Good ta' know I was right in ironin' my suits ahead of time for his welcome.

Just doin' my best, boss. Your room should be untouched and fuckin' immaculate. Uh, we got dinner ready too, if yer feelin' hungry, and it's Saturday, so they got the good sci-fi reruns goin' until late at night.
"we need tØ stØp the evil green man" "we shØuld kill the evil green man" has anyØne ever cØnsidered blØcking him.

fume a lil

yeah thats right buoy hit that hate react good buoy
thinking more about it, im wondering how much the cherubs following obama actually truely impacts the seams of reality

Alright, we're all just going to be really really cool about a bunch of stuff really really quickly. https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/raw%20fear.png
IT IS TIME. (I AM TIME. I AM ALL THE TIME. EVERY TIME. AND DUE TO THIS. THEY. THE REST OF YOU. HAVE "NO TIME".)

my stand is「radioactive」 is it named after the imagine dragons song, or the marina and the diamonds song? yes
jade recently introduced me to "jojo's bizarre adventure" and now i can't stop thinking about what our stands would be named. abilities are easy, they'd just be our godtier powers basically. i think i'd call mine「aerosmith」. cuz it'd have the windy thing and a great big hammer.
I have sent Spades Slick a reply, politely asking if he perhaps got the wrong address, alongside a shipment of baked goods.

Why are there so many single fathers on my timeline this is dangerous for me.
So+ an (alleged) Empress serving ano+ther... Was the co+nditio+nal immo+rtality wo+rth it? Yo+u already had a nigh eternal lifespan. I really do+n't understand the greed that must have filled yo+ur heart to+ wish fo+r mo+re o+f what yo+u already had plenty o+f, at the co+st o+f subjugating yo+urself to+ ano+ther...

...aig)(t, fuck it, im smokin t)(at )(eat deat)( of t)(e universe pack t)(en

T)(at's )(ow )(e c)(ooses to present )(imself upon t)(e mortal plane. Look up at t)(e nig)(t sky, for one sinular moment. See t)(e darkness between t)(e stars t)(emselves; t)(at all encroac)(in abyss between t)(ose dazzlin lig)(ts. As t)(e stars t)(emselves wink quietly out of existence, one by one, t)(e nig)(t is left blackened and dismal wit)( no lig)(t to guide anyone. And t)(en t)(e cracks form. Like glass s)(attered in an endless s)(eet. And bot)( t)(e livin and t)(e dead are erased; t)(e walkin Double Deat)( incarnate, successful across every point in Paradox Space, eatin all across every reality you could possibly imagine. /T)(at's/ )(im. T)(at's my boss.

dont call me t)(at fuckin name. i dont even smoke t)(at muc)(. ... is it any good

a)(, fuck... my actual boss is )(ere. i mean )(es always forever been )(ere but now )(es )(ere )(ere

groan.
Im so proud
.gnilddem evol i sdoG
yeah, yeah, you are inevitable. it was better when thanos said it.
you know, i am not loving that he is already here.















