Calliope Lalonde
@uranianUmbra
the only (known) cherUb on earth c! happily married, bUt open to a little flirt here and there. proUd mother.
jane baked Us a bUndt cake decorated like a ring... the cheeky lass. ~u~
im not gonna lie 2 U mum its still weird as fuck when she stays over but. i rly liked the cake.
@gadaboutTrickster @cuttlefishCrusher @aventurineCopycat i've made Us a commemorative badge! yoU'll have to ask a mod for it, most likely jUnior.
BX33 < im not above gloating B33 < i could purrobably use a free badges anyways
then ask jUnior! i can't give it to yoU myself, i'm afraid.
for the record, i'm not exactly feeling peachy keen either. jinx and deva took the brUnt of the assaUlt, bUt by the end he was focUsing on me. the pain is... only really setting in now. adrenaline, i sUppose? my wings hUrt the most. and i've a bit of a chest ache. i think i rather overexerted myself... roxy is exhausted, bUt... i'm impressed. barely a scratch on her!
omg... are U like... the planet-destroying buff angel version of out of shape????
B:DD < good job!!! B33 < im NGL taking 15 guys to pregame le was kinda a silly plan on my purrt but it's nbd
i genUinely thoUght he woUldn't bother with this. i'm sorry, deva.
B:33 < hey B:33 < the story's not ofur and we came out ahead B:33 < i should be thanking you fur letting me get some more purractice in
in short, #teamring sUcceeded in oUr goal. @thegoodScratchdoctor no longer has a ring of life, and @grimbarkGuardian's empress has been laid to rest.
what about jane????? i just read through that, where did she...??
>#TEAMRING: Rock the heist (FINAL PART) The Condesce lunges at the Rogue, but the Thief catches )(er 2x3dent in her own. They clash, identical faces glaring at each other as the Rogue is beset by a wholly different fork. The Maid, enraged, thrusts a flurry of stabs at the Rogue, who can do little but dodge and weave as she looks into the bright blue eyes of her dear friend. The Condesce keeps healing, and the Thief keeps taking damage. She’s forced to endure the same evasive dance as the Rogue, until... they switch partners. The Thief has no qualms fighting the Maid, and the Rogue has defeated the Condesce once before. It’s a much more favourable matchup. Though she’s long passed the need for a strife specibus, the Rogue still favours Fistkind for close quarters. She deftly dodges the 2x3dent over, and over, and over - and when she doesn’t, it still doesn’t hit her. Her fists crack against the sopor-slowed Condesce’s ribs, and this time they don’t heal. The Thief takes a while to notice. Her own 2x3dent finds much more purchase in the Maid’s body. The maid raises a hand towards one of her cuts, and... nothing happens. Both realize instantaneously what this means. The Thief has stolen the Maid’s power of Life. No more healing. From there, the fight is almost easy. Almost. The Rogue is aggressive, attacking in far closer range than the Condesce’s weapon can effectively connect. She discards it, then, showing off why she really wears all those rings. The fight is messy - all grabbing and punching and hair-pulling and bloody teeth and exhaustion. The Rogue pokes the Condesce in the eyes, a crude tactic to nullify her optic blasts. For as many hits as the Condesce lands, she misses two more, passing right through the Rogue as though she was never there. It all ends when the Rogue passes through the Condesce entirely, getting behind her and grabbing her skull. She whispers something in her finned ear - something unheard by all others - and in one quick motion, snaps her neck. The sound is sickening. It draws the eyes of the other Life players, and the Maid cries out in shock. Before anyone present can respond, the Manor shakes with a thundering HONK. Both heroes instinctively turn their heads, watching as cracks form in the cieling. By the time the shaking stops and they look back... the Maid and the defeated Condesce are nowhere to be seen. Along with the drained ring. -- A lumbering green fist swings downwards towards the still-dodging Sprite, only for the Heir to manifest just in front of them. The fist connects with the Heir, and the Heir connects with the Sprite, sending them both flying through several floors. The Lord is Already There to meet them, of course. Quick thinking from the Sprite ducks both heroes into the past just before they can be hit with that dream-shattering beam attack of his. He, of course, was Already There, Too, so there is little respite. Both were prepared for this. The Sprite unsheaths a new pair of claws - Fearful Symmetry. The Heir pulls out The Note Desolation Plays. Each weapon was specifically designed for the Lord. The Sprite pounces into action, needling the Lord from every angle, locking him down to a single timeframe. They’ve had practice with this, sparring with other Time players. The Heir hits hard. Each time his hammer connects, it sends the Lord stumbling more than he will ever care to admit. There is a rage in her attacks, a frustration. This is personal. But, of course, The Lord is inevitable. As hard as he is hit, he hits back. His sceptre cracks the Heir’s ribs, his bullets clip the Sprite’s wings. His roaring HONK shakes the very foundation of the Manor, and the floor falls away once more, opening into a ballroom. The dust is thick. None can see a thing, until it’s blown away by a pair of white wings. The Lord’s billiard-ball eyes lock with the bright green of his long-lost sister. Time seems to stop. The space between the two, at each end of ruined ballroom, seems infinite. Even the Heir and Sprite pause midway through eating their pixelated healing items. All is silent. Then, a roar. The Lord’s jaw unhinges. The Muse’s wand unsheathes. A beam of flashing, many-coloured light explodes from his throat. The Muse casts a spell, warping space around her so thoroughly that even light, even pure magic, bends to her will. The beam fizzles, and both are left exactly where they started. There is another long, painful pause, before the Heir takes his hammer to the Lord’s goddamn kneecaps. The rest of the fight is a flurry of wings and wind and claws and wings and bullets and blasts. The Lord ignores whatever damage he takes from the Heir and Sprite, focusing solely on the Muse, who, for her part, does a lot of dodging. She’s not a fighter. She never has been. She thanks her lucky stars she’s never needed to be. But today, she finally aims her pistol at another person, if the Lord can even still be called that. Where the Lord’s magic is massive and overwhelming, her blasts are thin and precise. And, to her credit... she does some damage. Perhaps it’s her White Magnum, perhaps it’s old Cherub rules about fated battles, but she manages to get past that invulnerability of his. The Lord is nowhere near defeat, of course. It’s not until the Rogue and Thief finally arrive that a stalemate is forced. The Lord roars one last time, and the fighting stops. The dust settles. Nobody can afford to fight any longer. The combatants are beaten, bruised, bloodied. Some have broken bones. Even the Lord knows that fighting five gods, conditionally immortal or not, carries risk. Especially with that damned juju in play. Reluctantly, he tells them to just get the fuck out of his house. The heroes pick each other up and gather together. Anticlimax aside, they’ve gotten what they came for. The Heir does her best to breathe steadily, to focus on home. He clicks his heels, and the five heroes disappear into the wind. Exeunt omnes.
(( I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS EARLIER IN THE DAY AND MORE SPREAD OUT SO PEOPLE HAD TIME TO REACT TO EACH ONE AND I WASNT JUST SPAMMING BUT I HAVE BEEN SLAVING OVER THIS HEIST FOR SO LONG AND I JUST GOTTA GET IT OUT ;-;
>#TEAMRING: Rock the heist. (pt 5) Though the Scratch Doctor remains expressionless, the shift in his mood is clear. “It seems events are moving away from your favor. Such a pity, after all your hard work.” The Muse grumbles. "jUst shUt Up and play. check." “Really, your mistake was in coming in the first place. The events I seek to perpetuate are hardly any concern of yours. But it would be in your blood to play hero, I suppose.” "hardly my concern? is that yoUr idea of a joke? we both know i'm first on his list, if he ever frees himself from his inevitable demise. check." “Not untrue. Still, you would have the insulation of existing in a period that my lord cannot safely touch to bring about his own existence.” The Muse grimaces. "how comforting. yoU'll have to forgive me if i don't take yoUr *generoUs* offer. fUcking *check.*" The Doctor continues to keep his King out of reach, his aura giving off an even greater amount of smugness than before. “Oh, my dear, I did not mean to imply that you might have that protection *now*. That was forfeited when you broke into our property.” His Felt begin to wear the Sprite down. His machinations confound and distract the Heir. His captive Maid, without thinking, has already restored her Condesce, whose rage could cull a planet. And, heeding the alarm... The Muse can sense him. A prickle down her spine, a chill in her blood. She knocks over the chessboard and bolts at nearlight speeds from the Doctor’s parlor. The Lord arrives in his Manor. Or, rather, he is already here. ==>
>#TEAMRING: Rock the heist. (pt 4) Now, let’s check back in on that fight near the vault, and - oh, they’re already inside. The Demoness is helping the Rogue and Thief trash the place. She... apparently didn’t need that much convincing? Hm. The vault is spacious. Various treasures line - well, no, *lined* its walls, now that the Demoness has gotten to it. In the corner are what look like two ablution traps with glass covers. The Ring - the real one, sorry Jinx - sits in a nondescript drawer within the Vault. The Thief can almost sense it. It’s identical to the one on her finger, as well as the Muse’s. She and the Rogue stare at it, this single artefact that has caused both of them to experience so much grief, heartbreak, triumph, love. The Thief knows what she must do. The Ring pulses with Life, after all. The Rogue, meanwhile, eyes the sopor tanks. The Condesce and )(er Maid lie motionless, asleep. Peaceful. The Rogue gathers her strength. It’s been decades since she’s had to kill, but leaving )(er alive isn’t even on her mind. Her hand phases through the glass, through the Condesce’s chest, and grabs her expanding and contracting bladder based aquatic vascular system. She squeezes. The Condesce’s eyes shoot open. They flash with confusion, then recognition, then rage... and then nothing. A monitor flatlines. Both tanks open. An alarm blares throughout the manor. The Demoness disappears. The Maid awakens. ==>
>#TEAMRING: Rock the heist. (PART THREE) The Muse has the advantage in her game. The Doctor’s expression would be unreadable even if he didn’t have a featureless white orb for a head. "nothing to say, doctor? how Uncharacteristic." The Doctor stays silent for a brief moment longer, faint sparks of yellow lightning dancing across his head as the only possible indicator of emotion. “I am… analyzing possibilities. Feel proud, if you’d like, it’s rare I’m forced to do so without complete certainty.” "i take it yoU've realized my wife is here. it's a bit embarrassing that yoU're so easily coUntered by any decently skilled void player, isn't it?" “I am not one to be embarrassed by anything, you’ll find. And though her presence is an obfuscation - an irritating one, I will grant you - it is hardly an insurmountable one. If there is one certainty her presence has not tainted, it is the fact that the Ring of Life will not leave this Manor.” -- The Sprite finds themself in the midst of a downright absurd amount of gunfire. They are, of course, unperturbed - fast-paced tracker music plays in their earbuds, and they dodge every bullet with grace, elegance, and pixel-precision. Dozens of green torsos lie at their feet, slashed to bits or riddled with holes from friendly fire. But with all the time fuckery going on, even the Sprite cannot keep up forever. Bullets graze their wings, shatter their sunglasses (only to be gifted a fresh pair by their past self), and just barely draw blood. This distraction can only go on for so long. -- The Heir stands at the beginning of an intimidating gauntlet, at the end of which lies what must obviously be the real ring. Spikes, lasers, swinging axes, sawblades, what look to be pressure plates... It’s straight from one of his-her-his genetic father’s adventure movies. There are also loud vents sucking all the air out - if he were to try and breeze through, he’d be sucked in. A trap designed specifically for him. This wouldn’t be easy, but... he can figure this one out, can’t he? He - nope, she - ties her godhood close as she dodges, weaves, tiptoes, floats a little. It’s not the most graceful parkour she’s ever done, but she slips in and out unscathed. One more ring... let’s hope she’s got it this time. ==>
>#TEAMRING: Rock the heist. (PART TWO) The Heir, transparent, filters his - no, her way into dozens of rooms. She is looking for a ring. She finds several - on bedstands, in cupboards, behind refrigerators and under beds and within underwear drawers. She - no, he gathers each one, checks their captcha codes - damn. Each one is precisely as unique as the others. The Doctor has done an excellent job of hiding the real one. The Sprite, too complex for an epithet, sets dominoes in motion. Forward and backward in time, they lay trails for #3 and #5 to track, they slow down #1, speed up #2, seduce #4. Set fires for #11 to put out. They create paradoxes to confuse #6, shuffle #10 around, give #7 some heartfelt relationship advice, kite #14 and #15 into each other, and... kind of just leave #12 and #13 alone. They’re little more than complications. The Thief, battle-ready, and the Rogue, beautiful, arrive at the Vault. A massive, hulking thing - to break the door would be absurdly inauspicious, unleashing a cascade of bad luck. Fortunately for our protagonists, the Rogue can walk through walls. What she cannot walk through so easily is a Demoness. She stands, in their way, needles at the ready. She shares a glance of deferred recognition with the Thief, who readies her 2x3dent. The Rogue cracks her knuckles, her neck, her... a lot of joints, she’s fifty. This is sure to be a legendary fight. ==>
@thegoodScratchdoctor has a ring of life. he means to Use it to revive himself after death, that he may gUide his Lord long after he shoUld be able to. he wants to break the alpha timeline, reshape it in his master's image, and let him rUn rampant across all timelines. @aventurineCopycat, @gadaboutTrickster, @cuttlefishCrusher, my wife, and myself intend to prevent that. and so... >#TEAMRING: Rock the heist. (PART ONE) Felt Manor. A gaudy eyesore of a building, known mainly for its obnoxious number of clocks and its propensity for being broken into. Enter the MUSE, the ROGUE, the THIEF, the HEIR, and the SPRITE. Centre stage. They are unseen, thanks to the Rogue’s power. It will not last long, so they must make haste. They split up - The Heir dissipates into the vents. The Sprite travels back in time. The Muse strides calmly down the hall. The Rogue and Thief disappear entirely. The DOCTOR is aware of all this. He cannot see the Rogue and Thief, but he can deduce that they arrived with the rest. He can further deduce their destination. He cannot stop them. -- The Muse, polite, arrives in the Doctor’s apartment. He has already prepared the chessboard, for he is an excellent host. White vs. Green - a regular set mixed with the one from her childhood. *Cute.* “Good evening, my dear. I believe now would be the appropriate time to to say it is pleasant to see you. As you can see, I’ve made certain preparations for this outcome. Please, have a seat.” She sits across from him, sighing. "good evening to yoU as well, doctor. yoU're a pain in the arse to plan aroUnd, yoU know that?" “Oh, I certainly do.” The Doctor clicks his fingers, and his coat zaps off his shoulders to the back of his chair. “It would hardly be befitting of my role if I was an *easy* foe to handle. You’ve come to monitor my movements while indulging my ego in the vain hope of distracting me from your little heist, yes?” “that’s the gist of it, yes. is it working?” The Doctor doesn’t respond. White pawn to d4. Green knight to f6. The game begins. ==>
B// < the worst part is the climb before the drop
by the way, darlings, i've been waiting a good long time for chapter five, bUt i've a bUsy week Upcoming and no time to play Until sUnday, so if a single one of yoU lovelies dares post deltarUne spoilers tomorrow, rest assUred that i shall not HESITATE. to ice a motherfUcker oUt. do not test me on this!!!!!!!!!!! >:U
[thegoodScratchdoctor’s attempt to be an omniscient asshole has been halted by higher powers.]
[☠︎︎] FROM A FELLOW GREEN TO A FELLOW GREEN GET YOUR ASS OFF THE SOCMEDIA UNTIL YOU PLAY IT THATS THE BEST WAY TO AVOID SPOILERS ENTIRELY JUST SPEND THAT TIME WATCHING MOVIES OR PLAYING OTHER THINGS DONT FUCK IT UP [☠︎︎]
i'm not sUre the doctor has realized yet. ^u^ #vagueposting
a little treat, for those inclined~ ;U
something has jUst reminded me of the SCP who has me as a kintype. i hope she's doing alright, oUt there in narrative space. ^u^
she's one part of an entity attached to earth's moon, meant to destroy the planet, if i remember correctly. bUt she read oUr story, and it resonated, and she became a fan! her brother, the other part of the entity, doesn't Understand her, bUt cares for her all the same and will not destroy the planet she so loves. it's cUte, if a bit heavy-handed with the nUmerology, and intentionally qUite "cringe." i believe her name is lyra?
oh dear, my kUll score is getting oUt of hand! i wonder who did that? hal, perhaps? or the one with the ascii rifle in their qUirk? trUly, it's anyone's gUess.
hm? did yoU have something to say?
WE BOTH KNOW YOU CANNOT IGNORE ME FOREVER. WHETHER OR NOT FROM YOUR VANTAGE POINT I AM ALREADY DEAD, HERE AND NOW I AM ALIVE. AND I HAVE AMPLE TIME TO MANEUVER THINGS TO MY FAVOUR. TO FIND A WAY TO. GET. TO. YOU.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ i can go in, spread the love on my cupid shit. ain't no lame hater with a hit list. bars ૮๑ˊᯅˋ๑ა ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
yes, yes, bUt what does that have to do with my post? Unless yoU mean to imply that *yoU* are the soUrce of my kUll? :U
oh, thank yoU, hal! ^u^ yoU're sweet. not that i minded hatebot that mUch before he changed his gimmick.
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ♡ ༘⋆ word he changed it again? wrow. not surprised must suck not being a real person. couldn't be me. but i'll fix up yer kull for you real quick ₍ ᐢ.ˬ.ᐢ₎ ⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊🐇୧₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹
#morewives....? ^u^
oh, dear, that one's otherwise occUpied. ah well!
i actUally think it looks rather nice, zoomed in...
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO BE INCORRECT ON EVERY TOPIC IN ALL OF EXISTENCE, YET, HERE YOU FUCKING ARE! AS. PER. USUAL.
OKAY I LOOKED THIS GUY UP HE LOOKS KIND OF COOL ACTUALLY. BECAUSE HE'S GREEN.
yes, yoU qUite remind me of him, brother. ~u~ ...oh, blimey, is that the tilde? nevermind, this font is rUbbish. >:U
YOU REMIND ME OF BILE AND INFERIORITY. AT THE VERY LEAST WE CAN TAKE THIS MOMENT TO BOND (GAG) OVER OUR MUTUAL (GAG) DISTASTE OF THIS FONT.
yoU know, after reading lord english's... *postUring* towards me, yoUr good old fashioned animosity is almost nostalgic! ^u^ oh bloody hell the carrots are broken too.
does it not depress him? chasing something he knows he will never obtain? vying desperately for attention he will never be paid?
also, jUst to nitpick. *hearts. some of Us actUally earned the second one.
I’D YELL AT THE FUCKER IF MY DEVICE, LIKE, FUCKING WAS ABLE TO.
don't bother. lord english seems... i don't know. perpetUally Unaffected. one-note, like i said. a perfect microcosm of what a malicioUs cherUb is meant to be. very little else.
WHY IS HE CALLED THAT, ANYWAY? WHY DOES EVERY VERSION OF MY SON HAVE TO BE EVEN FUCKING WEIRDER THAN THE LAST.
it's a billiards metaphor, as i Understand it. it's his *motif.*