♣ mediated by @yellowJacket
♠️█ ░ ウォットザーファック? ପ(∗´ര ᎑ ര`∗)ଓ ▒ ▓♠️
JuJu MOTHERFuCKERY. 005?/∞. EXuENT. ALL. LOSERS. CuCKS. WIMPASSES. AND THE uNWORTHY. ENTER... XXXXXXX LOOKIE LOSE??? LOOKIE LOOS? THE LOOKY-LIEuS??? LOOK HE LOSE??? LOST AND FOuND SPECTRALS? GLASS WATCHING PARTIES ANONYMOuS??? A TRAGEDY IN FOuR ACTS - "THE EYES THAT SEE DEAD PEOPLE"??? XXXXXXX I AM GOING TO BE HONEST. I AM SKEPTICAL. THE SPECTACLES. EXIST. IF THERE WERE A PAIR OF JuJu GLASSES. AT FuCKING ALL. I WOuLD KNOW ABOuT IT. WERE IT NOT FOR THE FACT. MY OWN MIRACuLT PREACHER BROuGHT THESE TO MY ATTENTION. I MIGHT THINK NOTHING OF IT. BuT. AN EXCERPT. I REMEMBERED FLAWLESSLY. FROM MY SISTER'S REPuLSIVE PuKE INDuCING DIGITAL DIARY. AN ENTRY. FROM SWATTPAD. WHICH I HAVE TRANSCRIBED HERE. FAIR WARNING. I HAVE NOT EDITED ANY OF IT. CONTROL. ALT. SNAP CRACK SKuLL POPPED RIGHT HERE. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i jUst had. the BIGGEST HORRORGASM. like divine inspiration, to sweat the whole of my arse right off, writing this dark and edgy backstory aboUt my very own jUjU creation. yes! i make those! i'm basically a god after all. i jUst had to rUsh over to my adoring fans and share. warning for... mUrder, spiritUal happenings, spooky spooking, and DARK ROMANCE. are yoU titilated? i sUre am. not betaread. don't like don't read! bUt if yoU DO read yoU simply mUst review. UxU UxU UxU (mwah! mwah! mwah!) 💚💚💚 the mysterioUs lookie lose / look (what) he lose / lost and foUnd spectrals / glass watching parties anonymoUs: a tragedy in foUr acts. (a working title... any ideas? XU) (mUst inclUde pUns!) (ok ok, mooooving on.) click foUr spoilers: these gorgeoUs lenses are actUally the jUjU i am so so so excited to share with yoU all, and NOT JUST ANY JUJU. they're mine, made by me! sqUeeeeee!!! here is...... the 🌶️ spicy bits! 🌶️ (so the entire story as it stands in part one of more. U-U) (bUt not too spicy yet!) once Upon a time on beforUs, the most nostalgic paradoxal sUbdivision of the Universe, there was a toootally infamoUs serial killer named dredge morren! he was... the Ultimate yandere (so in love that it kills someone else!) bUt make it self-loathing? he hated himself so mUch, because his body just felt wrong. (we've all been there! i have to share everything with the WORST PERSON EVAR.) so dredge just started possessing other people... but not to hang oUt and have tea and tUrn a sad frowny face into an Upside-down happy face. not at all! he made them do... the most fUcked Up things... to themselves... and to others. carnage! blood! slashing and clashing and splUUUUUUUrt! 🔪🔪🔪🩸🅰️ 🆎 🅱️ 🅾️ (what blood type are yoU? comment and i might add yoU to morren's list of killings!) so anyway. dUring one of his little mUrder mayhems, he corners this poor troll in a frog temple. (so Unhinged. so Unserious!) (i've always wanted to actUally visit one...) and the troll is reaching for something hidden deep inside their soon-to-bee-catacombs. gUess. what. it. is. THE looky lieU glasses!!!! ✨ 👓 ✨ like, can yoU imagine what woUld have happened if that poor UnfortUnate troll managed to grab them? they coUld of seen spirits. not jUst the dead, but the spiritUal form of the self, so they might of been able to fend off the serial killer! what drama, what irony, what potential. ohhhh no. i forgot to say how they work. goUmen naasai! ao anyway. no way! dredge morren took that sparkly treasUre all for himself. and here is where it really takes off, becaUse being able to watch victim's soUls literally leave their bodies mid-slaUghter?! 😳😳😳 that's like the Ultimate voyheUrist ecstacy for mUlticidal spree villains like dredge morren. he was living his best life. (his victims worst death???) jUst getting to watch the light face from trollish eyes in real time. goodness gracioUs! bUt. ⬇️ here ⬇️ is the plot twist my lovely readers!!!!! that wasn't even their original intention. i didn't make them for some mUrder hUsbando hobo to get his rickety rocks off. i made them so sad little grieving people coUld say one last goodbye to their beloved ones on beforUs! becaUse as yoU know, i'm a sapphic icon who believes in closUre!!! UvU ... >vU ~ * gfndsfmfgsdaijg3h3rMASNFDKLGFJASREHOVCM Mwevjcvm n OK FINE!!!!!!!!!!!! (aUthor's note: my stUpid brother is reading over my shoUlder and being a slappy little hater with nothing better to do. so i have to be honest. ÙmÚ what. ever. realistically. i probably made them so that when i finally win oUr little game and took over the body and killed caliborn (yes, THAT caliborn, the loser lameling, my dUmb Ugly brother that can't write for shit), i coUld laUgh at him while his gross little soUl flUtters ungracefUlly out of his royally fUcked body. i definitely want to see his expression when he realizes i jUst one!!!! 🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆 bUt. that still hasn't... actUally happened yet. late doomer syndrome maybe?? i gUess? better late than ever in calisnore's favoUr as the scholars might say. (that woUld be me. of coUrse!) oh. and the best part? the absolUte 🍒 cherry 🍒 on top? he doesn't even know this jUjU exists. becaUse he never reads any of my fictions Unless i read them oUt FOR him. how drab. i sUppose yoU can lead a dUllard to literatUre bUt you can't make them perUze the classics. UxU UxU UxU (mwah! mwah! mwah!) ending aUthor's note: ohmigosh. thank yoU for reading my darkfic. please issUe kUdoes and comment if yoU what chapter two two be aboUr what happens when someone actUally wears the looking loose specs. also. caliborn!!!!! if yoU are reading this years and years and years and years and years into the fUtUre becaUse yoU are a boring stUpid whiny cheater: I HATE U AND YOUR FIC SUXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!! UxU (mwah!) ==> signed callie ohpeee 💚💚💚 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHEREABOuTS. uNKNOWN. EXISTENCE. uNCERTAIN. AS SuCH. I CANNOT RIGHTFuLLY ASSIGN IT TO ANYONE. TRuLY. BuT WHOEVER HAS THEM. WELL. THEY ONCE BELONGED TO A KILLER. OR SO I HAVE HEARD. SO. HOPEFuLLY THAT MAKES YOu FEEL GOD FuCKING AWFuL.
JuJu MOTHERFuCKERY. 001/∞. EXuENT. ALL. LOSERS. CuCKS. WIMPASSES. AND THE uNWORTHY. ENTER... XXXxxxx "THE RIFFLE IN SPACETIME" / "MAJYYK THE SCATTERING - BETA SET" xxxxXXX THE RIFFLE IN SPACETIME. THE STRIFATAS SPECIBINIBuS. THE BLACK LOTuS. MAJYYK THE SCATTERING THE BETA SET. THE RIFFLE IN SPACE TIME. THE DISCARDED uPPER HAND. THE FINAL DRAW. THIS JuJu IS QuITE LITERALLY CIVILIZATION ALTERING IN THE WRONG OR RIGHT HANDS. ARMIES COuLD FALL AND RISE AGAIN IN ARMS. ALL WITHOuT AN ARMORY. THE ABILITY TO ONLY CARRY THINGS WITH YOuR OWN TWO HANDS WAS ALWAYS SEEN AS ONE OF GENEOLOGY'S GREATEST FAILuRES. AND IMPEDIMENTS TO TOTAL GLOBAL CONQuEST. ON A BITCHWIMP LOW PLANETARY LEVEL. THIS IS WHY WOMANLY BASKETS WERE WEAVED. THIS IS WHY QuIVERING QuIVERS WERE CONCEIVED OF. THIS IS WHY QuITE FRANKLY. WEAPONS WERE MADE HAND FREE AND LONG RANGE. BuT THE RIFFLE IN SPACETIME. MADE ALL OF THAT IRRELEVANT. IT IS THE COMPACTING OF ANY AND EVERY WEAPON. RAISED AGAINST YOu. OR BY YOuR OWN HAND. AFTER A BLOODTHIRSTY RAMPAGE. INTO A GORGEOuS LITTLE STANDARD SIZE DECK. OF PLAYING CARDS. THINK OF IT LIKE. IF A CARD. COuLD BE A TRAP. AS A RESPONSE. IN THE FINAL MOMENT. A "GOTCHA". ITS MYSTICAL MAJYYKS ALLOW IT TO SEAL THE ESSENCE OF EVERY WEAPON. uNIQuELY GRAFTED ONTO A PLAYING CARD THAT. MuCH LIKE THE ENTIRE ASSEMBLY. IS NOT DEFAuLT PHYSICALLY CARRIED. WE. AND BY WE. I MEAN MY SISTER. ACTuALLY DID NOT LIKE THIS ONE. LIKE PROMETHEuS TO FIRE. SHE TOOK MY PERSONAL BELIEF THAT WE SHOuLD DISTRIBuTE IT TO THE MANY. AND AFTER CAREFuL CONSIDERATION. AND MANY CONVINCING ARGuMENTS WON BY ME. SHE DECIDED TO STEAL AND DISTRIBuTE IT HALPHAZARDLY. BuT WITHOuT TEMPORAL STABILITY. THE DuMB CuNT FuCKED IT uP. AND SPILLED THE CARDS FuCKING EVERYWHERE THROuGHOuT THE KNOWN AN uNKOWN uNIVERSE. THE THING IS. THESE ARE VERY FuCKING OLD. AND LARGELY uSELESS TO MOST GALAXIES AND PLANETS. WHO ALREADY HAVE THE SCATTERED SPECIALIZED VERSIONS. uNLESS YOu GREW uP ON A PLANET. WITH A PACIFIER IN THE MOuTH OF ITS MOLTEN CORE. THAT FORBID PVP. SuCH AS BEFORuS. YOu ARE BETTER OFF SIMPLY DOING WHAT YOu DO BEST. YOu HAVE TO BE VERY TALENTED. EXCEPTIONALLY SKILLED. REMARKABLY GIFTED. AND MuRDEROuSLY PROFICIENT. IN MANY AREAS ALL AT ONCE. TO EVEN GET VALuE OuT OF THIS THING. YOu WOuLD NEED A BLOOD SOAKED LIFETIME SPENT. PER WEAPON TYPE. TO BE ABLE TO MAKE FuLLY INTEGRATED uSE. OF SuCH A VINTAGE. RETRO. HIT CLASSIC. AND CHRONOLOGICALLY ANACHRONISTIC. IMPOSSIBLE GIFT. AND MANY LIFETIMES. OF WEALTH. TO AFFORD IT. SITuATIONAL IN THE TRuEST SENSE. AND YET. I HAVE A BuYER. INCREDIBLE. I WAITED ALL OF TIME FOR THIS STuPID FuCKING THING TO SELL. ONLY TO NOTICE. A TINY BLIP. FANCY FuCKING THAT. uNFORTuNATELY. THE BuYER IS NOT A TIME TRAVELER. AND CANNOT COLLECT ON HIS OWN. AS SuCH. I HAVE DELEGATED THE RESPONSIBILITY. TO MY MOST TRuSTED OF ERRAND RuNNERS. THROAT MAILBOX SLITTERS. AND DELIVERERS. OF DEATH. THIS JuJu. IS CuRRENTLY. ENTRuSTED TO. AND IN THE POSSESSION. OF MY @handMaid FOR STORAGE. AND LATER DELIVERY. THE TEMPLATE. OF EVERY ONE MAN OR ONE WOMAN ARMY. IS NO MORE FITTINGLY HANDLED. THAN BY YOu. uNTIL THE DAY. YOu HAND IT OFF. TO THE SPENDTHRIFT. WHO WILL BE MOST PLEASED INDEED. TO COLLECT. OH. THE TRADING OF CARDS...SO FuN. SO PLACID. SO SIMPLE.
∘☽ It's happening again...!! ☾∘
😁😁😁 OMG IS THAT DAMARA GETTING ASSBLASTED??? HANG ON HONEY!!! 😁😁😁 🫣😲🫣 i dont know if i can WATCH bestie!!! what a pro lapse in judgement!!! like that washboard ass is gonna splinter like a yaoi paddle against glistening guy on guy thighs!!!!! 🫣😲🫣 🤞🤟🤞 ill just pass it onto my followers, theyre toooooooooootally made of tougher stuff and will probably be able to clip it for like forever 🤟🤞🤟 😁😁😁 maybe even edit out the clown? like hes barely even hurt, whereas she can barely fucking stand, like, getting a bit rusty there, huh damz, like, damnz 😁😁😁 #Chairministrangling #LikeABoss #PityABoss #LikeADamz #DamzelInDistress #InDIDstress #BreakdownImminent #FeltManorBreakOutTheGrippySocks #MentalHealthEpisode #TuningIn #ToBingeTheSeason #IfDamara #IsLeadCrisisActor #WhatAPoorBitch #GettingYourAssBeat #ForAttention #VerySad #ManySuchHeadcases 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
👏✨💅 nails, hair, hips, heels 👏✨💅 💰🤌👆 ass fat, lips real 👆🤌💰 💎👋🙌 purse full, big bills 🙌👋💎 🔥👏✨ bitch, i'm a big deal ✨👏🔥 💅✨👏 legs, legs, face, eyes 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 thin waist, thick thighs 👆🤌💎 👋🙌💰 you, me, you wish 💰🙌👋 🔥👏✨ new phone, who this? ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 pussy puss, puss, give them cunt, cunt, cunt, bitch 🤌👆💅 💎👋🙌 mama, yes, god, then you pop that tongue, bitch 🙌👋💎 💰👏✨ this whole club is my runway, run, bitch ✨👏💰 🔥🤌👆 y'all five, four, three, twos, i'm a one, bitch 👆🤌🔥 💅✨👏 girl, what did that girl just say, girl? 👏✨💅 💎👋🙌 ooh, girl, i don't dance, i 👏 work 👏 (work) 🙌👋💎 💰🤌👆 i don't play, i ✨ slay ✨ (slay) 👆🤌💰 🔥👏✨ i don't walk, i 👆 strut, strut, strut 👆 and then sashay (okay) ✨👏🔥 💅👋🙌 but i don't work for free (no) 🙌👋💅 💎🤌👆 no, that's not the tea, hunty (no ma'am) 👆🤌💎 💰👏✨ so make it rain on me (me) ✨👏💰 🔥👆🤌 and i might let you see 🤌👆🔥 💎👋🙌 what you gonna let them see? 🙌👋💎 💅✨👏 my nails, hair, hips, heels 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 nails, hair, hips, heels 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 nails, hair, hips, heels 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ nails, hair, hips, heels ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 my nails, hair, hips, heels 🤌👆💅 💎✨👏 nails, hair, hips, heels 👏✨💎 💰🙌👋 nails, hair, hips, heels 👋🙌💰 🔥👆🤌 nails, hair, hips, heels 🤌👆🔥 💅✨👏 head, shoulders, knees, toes 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 don't know these hoes 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 face, lips, eyes, nose 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ camera, click, we pose ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 beat mug, limp wrists 🤌👆💅 💎✨👏 v.i.p list 👏✨💎 💰🙌👋 wave, wave, blow a kiss 👋🙌💰 🔥👆🤌 i'm that bitch, sis 🤌👆🔥 💅✨👏 left, right, left, right, left with a spin, bitch 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 where's my sash and crown? 'cause i win, bitch 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 i'm so fab, i'm gone with the wind, bitch 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ y'all six, seven, eight, nines, i'm a ten, bitch ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 girl, what did that girl just say, girl? 🤌👆💅 💎✨👏 ooh, girl, i don't dance, i 👏 work 👏 (work) 👏✨💎 💰🙌👋 i don't play, i ✨ slay ✨ (slay) 👋🙌💰 🔥👆🤌 i don't walk, i 👆 strut, strut, strut 👆 and then sashay (okay) 🤌👆🔥 💅✨👏 but i don't work for free (no) 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 no, that's not the tea, hunty (no ma'am) 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 so make it rain on me (me) 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ and i might let you see ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 what you gonna let them see? 🤌👆💅 💎✨👏 my nails, hair, hips, heels 👏✨💎 💰🙌👋 nails, hair, hips, heels 👋🙌💰 🔥👆🤌 nails, hair, hips, heels 🤌👆🔥 💅✨👏 nails, hair, hips, heels 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 my nails, hair, hips, heels 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 nails, hair, hips, heels 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ nails, hair, hips, heels ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 nails, hair, hips, heels 🤌👆💅 💎✨👏 okay dolls, y'all know what time it is, come on 👏✨💎 💰🙌👋 everybody on the floor, everybody on the floor 👋🙌💰 🔥👆🤌 now i want you to stretch out those arms, stretch out those legs 🤌👆🔥 💅✨👏 stretch out that wrist, stretch out that weave 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 i don't want to see you dance 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 i want to see you work, come on 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ drop for me, drop for me, drop ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 drop for me, drop for me, drop 🤌👆💅 💎✨👏 drop for me, drop for me, drop 👏✨💎 💰🙌👋 drop for me, drop for me, drop 👋🙌💰 🔥👆🤌 tongue pop for me, pop for me, pop 🤌👆🔥 💅✨👏 tongue pop for me, pop for me, pop 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 tongue pop for me, pop for me, pop 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 tongue pop for me, pop for me, pop 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ pose for me, pose for me, pose ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 pose for me, pose for me, pose 🤌👆💅 💎✨👏 pose for me, pose for me, pose 👏✨💎 💰🙌👋 pose for me, pose for me, pose 👋🙌💰 🔥👆🤌 now blink for these, blink for these, hoes 🤌👆🔥 💅✨👏 blink for these, blink for these, hoes 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 blink for these, blink for these, hoes 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 blink for these, blink for these, hoes 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ twirl for me, twirl for me, twirl ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 twirl for me, twirl for me, twirl 🤌👆💅 💎✨👏 twirl for me, twirl for me, twirl 👏✨💎 💰🙌👋 twirl for me, twirl for me, twirl 👋🙌💰 🔥👆🤌 say girl for me, girl for me, girl 🤌👆🔥 💅✨👏 say girl for me, girl for me, girl 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 say girl for me, girl for me, girl (ha-ha-ha-ha-ha) 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 say girl for me, girl for me, girl (yes honey!) 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ now 👏 snap 👏 for me, snap for me, snap ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 snap for me, snap for me, snap 🤌👆💅 💎✨👏 snap for me, snap for me, snap 👏✨💎 💰🙌👋 snap for me, snap for me, snap (oh-ho-ho-ho, snap, crackle, pop, bitch) 👋🙌💰 🔥👆🤌 now 👏 clap 👏 for me, clap for me, clap 🤌👆🔥 💅✨👏 👏 clap 👏 for me, clap for me, clap 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 👏 clap 👏 for me, clap for me, clap 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 👏 clap 👏 for me, clap for me, clap 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ give trade for me, trade for me, trade ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 trade for me, trade for me, trade 🤌👆💅 💎✨👏 trade for me, trade for me, trade 👏✨💎 💰🙌👋 trade for me, trade for me, trade 👋🙌💰 🔥👆🤌 throw shade for me, shade for me, shade (oohhh) 🤌👆🔥 💅✨👏 shade for me, shade for me, shade (girl) 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 throw shade for me, shade for me, shade (i heard) 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 shade for me, shade for me, shade (she said) 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ now, fan for me, fan for me, fan ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 fan for me, fan for me, fan 🤌👆💅 💎✨👏 fan for me, fan for me, fan 👏✨💎 💰🙌👋 fan for me, fan for me, fan 👋🙌💰 🔥👆🤌 shablam for me, shablam for me, shablam 🤌👆🔥 💅✨👏 shablam for me, shablam for me, shablam 👏✨💅 💎🤌👆 shablam for me, shablam for me, shablam 👆🤌💎 💰👋🙌 shablam for me, shablam for me, shablam 🙌👋💰 🔥👏✨ that's all ✨👏🔥 💅👆🤌 ha, ha, ha, ha, ha 🤌👆💅 #Chairministrangling #Animation #WandUse #HandMadeInTheShade #Nails #Hair #Hips #Heels #Ass #Fat #Lips #Real #Purse #Full #Big #Bills #Bitch #Ima #Big #Deal #Legs #Legs #Face #Eyes #Thin #Waist #Thick #Thighs #You #me #you #wish #new #phone #who #this #lyricposting #LikeABoss #PityABoss #MediATEaBoss #IDontPlayISlay #IDontWalkIStrutStrutStrutAndThenSashay #TradeForMe #TradeForMeTradeForMe #MakeItRainForMe #AndIMightLetYouSee 🟢 CHARMS is A BIG DEAL.
NO. BECAuSE THAT WOuLD BE QuOTING MY SISTER. AND THAT IS WRONG. ON SO MANY ABOMINABLE LEVELS. I WOuLD SAY YOuR GENERAL HuGENESS. DRAWS ME IN. LIKE A PLANET. IN ORBITAL FLuX. THAT DOES NOT WANT TO FuCKING BE THERE. BuT IS uNCOMFORTABLY OBLIGED. ON ACCOuNT OF THE AFOREMENTIONED. GENERAL HuGENESS. PROMOTED. TO ADMIRAL ENORMOuS. WHEN THE FETID FuNKSTENCH. OF YOuR RIDICuLOuS PROPORTIONS. HAS THE TOP BRASS GOING. *DAMN*. THEY ACTuALLY SAY THAT. *DAMN*. *I DO NOT THINK WE CAN HOLD HER*. STERNLY GRABBING HIS SHOuLDERS. SHuDDERING. THE PRESIDENT OF FAT PEOPLE GOES. *NO MAN OR WOMAN ALIVE EVER HAS. SHE IS TOuCHLESS. THAT IS WHAT MAKES HER DANGEROuS. SHE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR ATTENTION. EVEN AFTER DEATH*. AND AS A RESuLT. THEY LAuNCH EVERY VILE CHEMICAL WEAPON THEY HAVE ON HAND. TO PLuG uP YOuR BLACK HOLE. WITH AS MANY EXPLODEABLES. AS THERE ARE INCINDIARY DEVICES. ACROSS EVERY PLANET CONQuERED. A BEAuTIFuL FIREWORKS DISPLAY. TO BLOT OuT THE BLOAT. ALSO MOTHS ARE FuCKING WEAK. MOST OF THEM. DO NOT EVEN HAVE MOuTHS. MY MOuTH IS MY MOST PROMINENT FEATuRE. YOu WOuLD KNOW THAT. CONSIDERING. THE MOMENT YOu HAD YOuR OWN. YOu uSED IT TO SHOVE FuCKTRuPLE DECKER SANDWICHES. PAST YOuR uNHINGED JAW. LIKE SCOOBY DOO. OF SCOOBY DOO MYSTERIES ACCLAIM.
THIS IS THE FuNNIEST WAY. YOu HAVE EVER. POSTHuMOuSLY CONFESSED. TO BEING FAT. MORBIDLY OBESE. ENERGY DENSE. HORIZONTALLY GENEROuS. GRAVITATIONALLY PRIVILEGED. STRuCTuRALLY OPTIMIZED FOR YOuR OWN HOT AIR HIGH WIND RESISTANCE. BIGASS BONED.
Merry #VoreDay the First, to the enlightened. Theme of today's illustrative clash is, naturally, in line with the holiday: 7th of August — The Eater. Our commissioner would like to remain anonymous. Aside from a small, Junior-dequirked message to a very unlucky victim, which follows. @imJunior: Anonymize this missive. ==> Having glimpsed my unenviable fate in the certain future, I would like to exercise some small control over the here and the now and the torment to come. This will be finished at just the right moment to make him furious. Crazy. But hey. An artist has to make a living. So butter your biscuits and get straight nasty on the click-through. This sucker only loops once, per commissioner's orders, so rewatches are manual... And they say that #sadism is dead.
come the fuck on, motherfucker.
/i mean i think being a dream ghost and all those laws kinda no longer apply on me, especially considering from my time perspective the Felt hasnt been a thing for a good million of sweeps (thanks fwrther ring for making time so confwsing to keep track of v_v"), yet also jwst going by my research wowldn't exactly feel compelled to have anything to do with them, especially involving any version of ms Megido 0_0/ /bwt wmm yeag, thanks/
👞👢👟hmmm....a waltz jitterbug polka breakaway flamenco style salsa freestep bump boogaloo swing???? might be difficult to get through allllllllll in just one night buuuuuuuuuuuuuut...!!!!👞👞👢 🫰🙌 since you went out of your way to tagggggggg me, and the medictator has assured me the stuff theyre flying in from overseas is deeeeeeeeeeeefinitely gonna take care of this awful cramp in my leg, like, omg? maybe? nah definitely. you have been sooooooo nicies to me since i got to the manor, like, how can i not? 🙌🫰 😄😆😅 sit tight, OK bestie? LA À𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐄𝐀𝐔 𝙃𝘼𝙉𝘿𝙈𝘼𝙄𝘿 is gonna show you some fancy footwork yet!!! it'll be sooooooooooo so so so lovely, and it'll make you forget all about the rancid skank bitch rust in your comment's section...not naming names! just shaming shames! hahahahah! i kid, i kid, it's damara 😅😆😄 🫵🫵🫶 you! me. all these dances you asked for, promie 🫶🫵🫵 #Chairministrangling #PlayingMusicalChairs #DancingUpTheCorporateLadder #EliteBallKnowledge #GalanteedToHaveAGoodTime 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE AND EN POINTE.
[ Fluttering through an unprotected crack in space-time is a note. It is pale green and marked with the letterhead of The Felt, an asymmetrically silhouetted Felt Manor viewed from the north side. The central spire is tipped by a glittering pearlescent drop of white ink. Scrawled beneath: a missive issued in cramped but neat cursive, richly maroon. The page is creased in two places, as though fit into an envelope at one point. ] To the editor in chief of Midnight City's ANTHROPODOGY Publication Office. Your journalistic excellence motivates me to stay apprised of your latest issues. I have no complaints, usually. In the June article of Movement As Culture, penned by Jubilant Communicant, a small paragraph detailing the dances typically associated with Leprechaun #Charms was included. Nine lines in all. A critical oversight on your part: none of it is accurate. Barely even legible, if we're hacking away at honesty. But we've had some... professional dealings in the past, sir. You pay your dues. You keep current on the news I read for. It's good work you do. Favor for the favors. Included is a short list of corrections to the charm-dance associations. Try to have August reflect an update. Wouldn't want to see you getting replaced so soon after your... chief predecessor left a vacancy in position. 🩷 Waltz. Measured, intimate, there's a way to do it. Someone always leads. 🔷 Jitterbug. Warm regards, lots of coordinated movement. Equals in every way. ⭐ Polka. Having fun, getting to know someone, learning the ropes. Someone leads. 🌙 Breakaway. Pursuit, distance, maintaining an orbit that push-pulls. Trading lead. 🎈 Flamenco. Fighting for control at all times. Nobody leads, but both are trying to. 🧲 Salsa. Performance for the sake of it. Compelling narrative. Someone leads. 🍀 Freestep. Testing waters. Setting to a pace. Lead-in before other charms. No leads. 💰 Bump or Boogaloo. Shoulder to shoulder, bar-fight-as-dance. No leads. 🌈 Swing. Knowing the dance by heart. Didn't have to practice it once. Someone leads. With occupational annoyance, Crowbar, Mister Seven of the Felt
@(。・へ・)@ KONGAR HAS NEVER MADE A MISTAKE. ONLY DECISIONS KONGAR SHOULD HAVE MADE FASTER OR SLOWER. SO THAT CONSEQUENCES COULD ARRIVE FASTER OR SLOWER. GIVING KONGAR ENOUGH TIME BETTER DEFLECT. OR ENDURE. KONGAR STANDS BY EVERY DECISION KONGAR EVER MADE. @(。・｡・)@ THE RIVER DOES NOT SPITE ITS COURSE TO THE OCEAN. ONLY CELEBRATES. THE REUNION.
🖕☝️☝️☝️eight fucking stitches☝️☝️☝️🖕 🎱🫰🫰🫰eight🫰🫰🫰🎱 🫥the medictator says i wont be able to use my standing desk for at least three wipes🫥 🫠🥲🥢ive had a set of chuddy little essence de damara megina sticks sprinkling bitch pixie cunt porpourri dust out of the base of my horn and my thigh (67 cm circumference btw size xl if you even care) for over an hour, they almost had to operate🥢🥲🫠 🥲where the FUCK have these things BEEN???????? #EW🥲 ✍️✍️ finders fee though 🖕🖕 🫵🫵you are NOT seeing these again but your piddly little ass has NOT seen the last of me 🫵🫵 #Healthcareministrangling #GettingLikeFiftyBajillionVaccines #WomanInMeDominatedFields #BeforanCulturalExchange #NSFW #Gore #Injury #BodyHorror #FromABodyWhorer #ScreechToText 🔴 CHARMS is INTENSIVELY CARED ABOUT. UNIT. [This Message was sent by SCREECHTOTEXT MODEL V113]
LET THIS BE A WARNING. TO ALL UPJUMPED WANNABE HANDMAIDS. WHO THINK THEY CAN HANDLE ALL THIS. THERE IS ONE NARROW PATH TO THAT COVETED TITLE. AND THE THRESHOLD IS GUARDED. BY THE ALPHA BEAST. FUCK WITH ME. #PERFORMANCEEVALUATION: #NEEDSIMPROVEMENT #NEEDSTOKNOWHERPLACE #NEEDSTOBITETHECURB.
bitch, i ain't spite shit??? i did what you motherfuckin' asked me to do. i *said* i would, did i motherfuckin' not?! i truly cannot fathom what the fuck your game is, Charms.
🎱⚪😏scratch daddy's desperate approval-seeking lil disappointment 😏⚪🎱 #Chairministrangling # #AlreadyHere 🟢🕰️ CHARMS is ONLINE AND ON TIMING.
🥹🤙👏ohhhhh exciting!!!!!👏🥹🤙 🫸🤙🫳let me set a timer!!!✍️👋🫷 #Chairministrangling #BadBitch #BadAtBitching 🟢🕰️ CHARMS is ONLINE AND ON TIMING.
😁😁😁 say less! professional is my profession after all 😁😁😁 👏👏👏 but as much as id like to say ive got wandering hands, ive got wandering eyes and feet instead, and it is oh so easy for me to get all turned around and lost... 👏👏👏 👉🤏↷➰ if you ever change your mind i could really use a brief little stroll just to get my bearings, buuuuuuuuuuut i wont overplay my hands! still...pleasure to meet you barrrrryyyyy 😁🤏↷➰👈 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
👏and👏you👏can👏hold👏that👏over👏them👏foreverrrrrr👏 🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡🫡 #Chairministrangling #InspirationalQuotes #WordsToLiveBy #WordsToMakeAnotherDieBy 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
#WORKPOSTING. #RISEANDGRIND. #ANDGNASH. #ANDKILL. #ANDMAIM. #ANDTORMENT.
Hrm.... Can you go halvsies with me on the attire?
Okay, but they said I could come and dress maidly.
꧁but whatis a good eunuch vizier if notsomeone who undermines you, sir??꧂
picture just the dopest kush you ever did smash toking on straight miracle whip wisps will o what the fuck type shit we are talking not catnip but catteething catbiting catlickandslackjawing catastrophic catgnawing clean through the catdrawing on dark carnival god or whatever now picture absolutely no drugs involved just a mirtherfucking deluge of pretty lights and then your shoulders slacking and doing whatever the hell is asked of you all that stuff you tagged earlier just exists now you wrote it but you dont remember doing it instant fanfic gratification at the cost of instant fanfic memory loss fun and exciting but also dark and distressing you have no idea what happened just that it happened to you that is mindjacking off also mindjacking off my fat dih aha got em you totally got got
[OHHHHH I $EE]
THEY MAKE THE SPINNY CHARMS @charmeuseCaressing
[WHO THE HELL I$ THAT]
HEHEHEH it was a gift from Charmie !! !!
[OKAY $O REMEMBER WHEN WE WAT#HED $TAR TREK TOGETHER]
[FLORID WHERE IN THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT AO3 BADGE]
🤙🤙🤙 my dash has a built-in self-cleaning feature 🤙🤙🤙 🤏🤏🤏where tiny prick losers sort themselves out as autonomous self-disposing-of-garbage that migrates to the curve on its own at the push of a button 🤏🤏🤏 😜no filter replacements or cleaning required😜 ✌️🖐️🖐️ i just be my fine ass bad bitch self 🖐️🖐️✌️ 🫴and they stare daggers at the screen like a seethingly unseen moron until they pass out and leave behind a modestly unimpressive inheritance🫴 👌👌too easy👌👌 #Chairministrangling #BlockedBTW #CannotImagineThrowingATantrum #OverEmojis #VaguePosting 🟢 CHARMS is ONLINE.
Tread carefully. You never know where vipers dwell and dig their spuriously venom slicked fangs in indiscriminate striking range. What once was a glorious sunrise may prove to be the autumnal fall of humanity, the sunsetting of many a proud and victorious civilization. Betrayal never comes from an enemy. Heartbreak never sourced from one apathetically regarded. And death never comes for those who never lived. What a cruel thing it is. To ever have felt anything at all. What a heartlessly merciless gouging it is. To learn pain previously unknown. To trust and have that inviolable bond broken. Wretched. And unmaking.
vvha† are you blabbering on abou† you p§ychopa†h.
ᴗ(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ) < Issuing my first retraction!!! The MYSTERIOUS STRANGER in my previous paleᴗfriendficᴗhas been retconned into bein' a nameless specter 'o indeterminate sort! All mentions of "beams" have been replaced with "rays"!!!! . . ᴗ ᴗ ᴗദ്ദി(ᴗᏊᄒꈊᄒᏊ)ᴗ< I'm learnin' whoever requested th'last fic didn't...actually have rapport with one of the characters...! Weird! S...so I'm closing anonymous submissions fer now on SWATTPAD (notice crossposted!) 'n humbly askin' y'all clear it with who I'm bein' asked t'write about...first! I'll be doin' the same as a gesture 'o goodwill! ( Ꮚ‾̀ꈊ ‾̀Ꮚ); < Gosh, this is embarassing...!
IT IS MORE THAN YOU DESERVE.
WHAT A STUNNING DISPLAY OF WANTON HATERATION!! HOW PETTY! HOW NASTY! I AM IMPRESSED. IT SEEMS LIKE YOU MIGHT NEED SOMEONE TO ♣️STEP IN♣️ AND HELP YOU TWO ♣️SETTLE YOUR DIFFERENCES♣️.
WE HAVE MURDERHIVE AT HOME.
i walk a lonely road the only road the gps said it knowed dont know where it goes neither does the gps it lied and didnt knowed
🫶 there are no laws about the poke em ons casper there are no rules about handin it to em handily, i got 80 different HDs and at least 70 got a P at the front🫶 👀 🛑 ✋ but full stop? ✋ 🛑 👆 if too many reacts makes you uncomfy or peeved in ANY way, lemme know kayyyyy? 👇 🤜 you best believe i will lay off? OK? 👌 👑 your comfort and satisfaction ✋ are always a priority 👑 #Chairministrangling #Grindsettheplace #LikeABoss #PityABoss #HRaBoss #CertifyABoss #ConsultABoss #DiplomaMillABoss #Diagnose #ADHDaBoss 🟢 🌹 CHARMS is ON TOP OF MANDATORY SENSITIVITY TRAININGS.
Some have taken notice that the Felt has acquired a new member. I use the word “member” generously. Roewzi Charms has not been appointed, inducted, assigned a number, or given a purpose, but has nevertheless attached himself to our organization with the confidence of a decorative seal upon an impressive envelope. He claims not to have read its contents, yet we will determine the truth of that, won’t we? He advertises our personnel, manufactures their insignias, and invokes our names with such relentless enthusiasm that correcting the misconception would be considerably more difficult than simply allowing it to become true. Fortunately, his peculiarities are largely productive, and as a result, I have opted not to remove him from the roster of authorities with whom I pursue our greater ambitions. His innumerable qualities and metaphorically innumerable hands remain both of interest and of use. His attention is exacting beneath all of that noise. His capacity to make himself indispensable borders on admirable. Welcome, Mr. Charms. May your stay be comfortable and your loyalty unwavering.
Anyone else get followed by a swarm of fucking bees?
you sure sound delusional but no i would be catching myself saying this before magically shrinking you to roughly the size of an inch and sticking you in my mary janes
I Haven't Posted T𖦏o Many Clothes, Have I? They Can Be Hard T𖦏 Ph𖦏tograph In The Closet. Well, As Req𓄋esti𖦏ned. #thecollection
💛✨👑CHAIRMINISTRANGLER CHARM$ CHECKING IN 👑💛✨ 🫶just dropping in a budget friendly promo no FOMO! read it when you wanna its not burning a hole in YOUR pocket🫶 🤑🔥 💼 EXECUTIVE POSITIONING 💼 Founder, CEO (Chairministrangler Executed Office), and Visionary Vibes Architect @ Lucky Charms Holdings International LLC (Est. Sweeps Unknown, Revenue: Immeasurably high, think quadruple digits) 📈💰 i'm literally the boss, bestie, i've been networking since before your lusus first molted!!! but i am ALWAYS down to netjerk around esp with fledgling self starters 🐣✨ 🫵 have YOU got a business idea? 🫵 pitch it to me! 🫵 let's MERGE! 🫵 👤 BRAND IDENTITY MATRIX 👤 🫵 BYOB (be your own boss)🫵 💛 caste: gold (#FFD700) - literally the color of wealth bestie, we stay GILDED here!! ✨ 📊 hemo position: ABOVE THE REST (the view is SCENIC i LOVE what u all do down there) 💅 🎂 experience level: 12 Sweeps of PURE HUSTLE (that's executive years bestie, we don't age we LEVEL UP we dont play we GAIN EXPERIENCE we dont lose we ONLY GAIN %) 📊⬆️ 🏷️ OFFICIAL BRAND HANDLES 🏷️ catch me straight strutting thru DMs as: CEO Charms™ | charmHer (verified) | CHARMS4HIRE (premium tier) | luckyCharms (aesthetic account) | luck E charms | The Gold Gilded GRINDSET | The Menace (affectionate) | The Handyman (i fix broken portfolios~! catch 👏 these 👏 hands 👏) | Corporate Overlord Roewzi (yes you CAN call me Sir, i accept tributes IF ur nasty) 💼 | Yellow Jacket (designer in my spare time AHAH i can make anything in your fave color as long as ur fave color is 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃) | plus various PARALEGALACERATOR roles for tax purposes~! 😉✨ 🐾 BRING YOUR BARK TO WORK DAY COMPANION 🐾 meet cujojito barbisito barkbeastito~!!! ✨ my sCRUFFY LIL FUZZY WUZZY WAS NOT A CHOLERBEAR BUT TWICE AS DEADLY UGHHH I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH MY SNUGGLY PUBBY WUBBY CMERE WHOSE A GOOD BOY WHOSE A GOOD BOY YES YOU ARE YES YOU ARE YES YOU 🫵 YOU 🫵 YOU ARE 🫵 GOOD PUBBYYYYYY 🫵 MY CHIHAAHAA!!! 🫵 🐕💎 MYTHICALLY rare breed bestie, requires specialized climate control because he's just SO high-maintenance #WORTHIT (just like his owner~! 💅). four-legged networking assistant, walkies aficionado, unrivaled barkbeat composer and vocal performance artist, also 24/7 security detail!! he doesn't guard the yard he guards the BRAND!!! the BUILDING! keeps that shit ON LOCK!!!!🔐✨ 📍 HEADQUARTERS LOCATION 📍 Lower Out Ward District on 12th, Spirebluffs - Garden of Eaten, New Trolleans 🏙️✨ we call it "The War Room" bestie, it's where the battles are fought and won!!!! 📊💫 (exact coordinates: CLASSIFIED for opsec~!🤝🔒) 💡 ENTREPRENEURIAL PHILOSOPHY 💡 they call it "stealing" i call it ✨PARALLEL ECONOMICS✨ they say "diploma mill" i say ✨ALTERNATIVE TO MAINSCREAM CREDENTIALING✨ they claim "no liquidity" i say ✨INTANGIBLE ASSET ACCUMULATION✨ "unregistered"? bestie i'm ✨PRE-REGISTERED FOR PRE-APPROVED FUTURE SUCCESS✨ "forgery"? that's just ✨PENDING ACQUIRE PROXY DOCUMENTATION✨ "fraud"? i'm simply ✨MANIFESTING FUCKING DIFFERENTLY✨ 🌐 NETWORK INFRASTRUCTURE 🌐 running IMPERIAL EMPIRE FIBER OP CO servers because we need that BANDWIDTH for all these 𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃 deals bestie!! public proxy? that's just ✨DECENTRALIZING✨ for the grind!! 📡💻 🔢 EXECUTIVE CODES 🔢 ripcode: 59032-11 (vip access tier) decimal: 1501300818 (lucky numbers bestie!! 🍀) ✨👇⚡ THE BOTTOM LINE ⚡👇✨ 😤💅i'm literally building an empire out here while the haters stay MAD!! 😤💅 #GoldBloodGrindset #CEOlife #Charm$Up #SigmaSweeps #ItWasNotADoxJustABrandAudit #AndBestie #WePassed ✨👑💛 🟢✨ CHARMS is ALWAYS ONLINE.