REGULAR troll normal
@adoorableDasher
the streets are calling me the Michael Phelps' Arms of Legs use dasher code @adoorableDasher for quickest delivery this side of Beforus & PLEASE tip me this shit does NOT pay that well
// INTRO POST mildly brainrotted zoomeresque grindset-mindset definitely-for-sure-a-real-troll who's really good at not getting stomped by pursuing drones. actual name is Finch, which he has corrupted into the six-letter Fyntch, which he thinks looks vaguely alien. he is NOT a good doordasher, but he is a fast runner, which he assumes is the same thing. the caegar has a VERY favourable conversion rate into USD, apparently, so he's not looking to try and go back home anytime soon. not that he even can. he is dumb, gullible, wildly overconfident, and knows almost nothing about alternia. and, worst of all, he's short. he's probably not gonna last very long. ---------------------------- he / him | witch of breath | human | derse | dms ok | nsfw ok
𓅰 woked up #coveredinants #gettingfondled #notideal
they want to be friends, maybe
hungry...
=oXO they,re just checking you,re okay¡¡¡¡ told them to keep an eye on you¡¡ =oXO
𓅰 @eusocialPedant how many dogs were you expecting exactly because i think they might have invented more
=oXO ''' dm me dm me dm me dm me =oXO
𓅰 [adoorableDasher has attached an image: wallywest.gif]
𓅰 https://files.catbox.moe/nj9zmj.jpeg O_O
yeah we're all fucked methinks
White vs white
𓅰 ok so while everyones at the beach its looking like ive made a clean getaway on the larceny front
=oXO that,s good¡¡ =oXO
Next time don't brag about the crime white boy
𓅰 @eusocialPedant do you not have any food in your hive rn. mightve just discovered some useful tech that could help
=oXO we don,t have very much yeah''' what,ve you found¿ =oXO
𓅰 ok so i found out if you walk into the slainsburys fill the cart with food and beverages and just tell the staffers that youre a food delivery guy theyll let you leave without paying. so im on my way with things that goregle has told me that ants can eat
=oXO ¡¡¡¡¡ hi i care about you very much' that,s still shoplifting it,s kind of not legal =oXO
𓅰 @eusocialPedant https://files.catbox.moe/36g9b0.png this motherfucker isnt a lusus this is a regular ass bird???
=oXO i,m sorry for your lusus troubles, did you pay someone for this'''¿¿¿ =oXO
𓅰 no its more of an emotional scamming. i have no money. i compensate this thing with the beans from the bean guy's bean wrap supreme
=oXO ohhhh i see''' ducks also like peas if you find any of those =:) =oXO
=oXO i don,t think it,s something you need to know that badly'' what if he has a skin condition and bringing it up is upsetting¿ it,s not nice'''''' =oXO
𓅰 i've hired a duck to stand in front of my posts. i asked for a finch but they didn't have any other birds. so we're working with the duck now. #myquirkdonotsteal #myduckdonotrecruithim #mybirdpleasedonotunionise
=oXO i like your duck =:) do you think your duck will be friends with my ants¿ =oXO
𓅰 honestly anthony i am almost certain that ducks predate ants i think we probably should keep them separate.
=oXO my name is ormici =:) but i think an ant is either so small or so large that a duck either wouldn,t even see them worth eating or would be too scared to mess with them so it might be okay¡ =oXO
𓅰 i'll deploy the duck next time i'm at your house and we'll lab it. we'll see how they react. i really hope this duck isn't someone else's lusus i just picked it up off the street
=oXO well if it,s small enough to pick up and dumb enough to let you, probably not¡ =oXO
𓅰 i should sleep in other peoples cupboards more often lowkey comfy as fuck
=oXO i,m glad you slept well¡ =oXO
𓅰 settin up in there for the future tbh could use a little ventilation maybe some padding but the temperature's great and the distant sound of flowing water makes for great sleep noise. and the leak lets you drink late at night with no downsides. oh yeah theres a leak in the pipe actually you should maybe check that out
=oXO ¡¡¡¡ oh¡¡¡¡ thank you so much i will fix that¡¡ and yes i shall gather some soft objects for next time' if there,s a next time¿ i would like for there to be a next time =oXO
this cupboard is comfy as hell #darkandcool #feelingfungal
just been informed that those shapes ive been seeing underwater are NOT in fact fish and they ARE in fact women. #sorrywomen #thoughtyouwereafish #kindofbothactually also is it illegal for midbloods to swim just asking for a friend not like ive done that haha
:33< illegal no :33< bad idea yes
N-o-o-t illegal, but unless y-o-o-u are swimming in a trusted friends territ-o-o-ry y-o-o-u are s-o-o- c-o-o--o-o-ked.
@eusocialPedant https://files.catbox.moe/8txw7a.png
=oXO ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡ BRINGING YOU IN TO COOL OFF RIGHT NOW =oXO
=oXO probably not allowed by your company but also if you die they lose their best dasher so they will have¡¡ to put up with it¡¡¡ =oXO
got pulled over and they confiscated some girls order. i dont have a car he just gripped me picked me clean off the ground like one of those sushi conveyer belt restaurants. no sirens no lights no nothing. was that guy even a cop
-=[yyouore always in asituation get out of thehere breastie_☺]=-
tl is talking about white guys. theyre onto me.
=oXO ¿¿¿ =oXO
I think they are talking about the ones ≈ith ≈hite orbs for heads. The kno≈-it-alls. I think you're fine, good luck ≈ith your deliveries, your services are more valuable than you think.
just picked up an order from a hole in the wall type place i think that guy spoke to me in actual mandarin not eastern alternian. what the helly
by hole in The wall, do you mean... a cave?
nope i mean like a small establishment that sells food with little to no external advertising its like a sweatshop kitchen basically. idk that youd even fit in you big as fuck lowkey. but theyre popular on delivery apps because they don't need to offer eat-in. do they sell food from caves? is that a thing?
i'll be honesT i ThoughT iT was going To be a jab aT indigos
cant jab at those guys theyre strong as fuck you jab them theyll turn your whole shit concave #sawdathappenonce #brotherwasatomised
i mean, yeah. if you're weak. i don'T goTTa worry abouT ThaT Though, never meT anyone sTronger Than me
im being very brave when i say this i am lowkey weak as fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkk but i got legendary bolters so im also fast as fuckkkkkkkkkkkk. maybe drones or perhaps buildings are stronger than you
ThaT's preTTy normal for a... [she squinTs aT Them, unsure whaT blood casTe They are aparT of.] ... whaTever you are
jade haha yeah jade obvs. jade. thats what i am. which is usual and normal. jade. im that. easy.
... righT.
it smells like straight up spiders in this walmart rn #whomorderedthespiders
alright gng the shellshock has been driven away by one cracking of the nectarine and godly white monster and brother im starting to find it difficult telling which one of us is which. this is to say im out dashing again use code @adoorabledasher and you will get NO discount BUT fast delivery #iamsofuckingwired
i have no comment to make about height.
Okay. I Am 5'8". But I Am At A Good Height To Be " Manhandled ", So I Cannot Complain. #suggestive #nsfc
no fuckin wway youre taller than me wwhat the hell
You Don't Know How Much It Means To Me That I Am Taller Than You. I'd Like To Thank " The Academy ". #positive #bloodpusherwarming
its ovver for all you towwerin freaks wwhen i hit my next molt
When I Hit / My / Next Molt I Hope I Am Exactly One Inch Taller Than You. #positive
had my sources look into the matter apparently theyll just blow up buildings for the bit. and when i say They. well. heh. fuchsia
=oXO oh man''' well i,m glad you survived¡¡ =oXO
uhmy3ah it canb3 v3ry ScarySom3tim3S S3(
one of my #redeemingfeatures i run so fast you wouldnt believe it i can outrun explosions i can outrun bad cars i can outrun gnomes hell even arthropods sometimes. i got that leg in me
=oXO ohhh that,s really cool¡¡ that,s a really good skill to have it makes sense that you took the job you took¡¡ i,m glad you got out of there okay surviving is basically all you can really do in that sort of situation awawa =oXO