♠ hated by @automatonArisen
theY jчst nчtted and bolted on mY screen so no ;/ #nsfw
D —> Precisely D —> Everything a Zahhak does should be e%emplary in its conformity D —> Inc100ding the state of our hole at any given moment D —> Thank you for your appreciation in this matter
D —> Hmmm D —> Probably the industrial digging bar D —> Which is a long thick sturdy metal rod one inserts into a hole to loosen the surface area and make it pliable for more thorough entry D —> But my answer is subject to change there is no implement too big for my hole
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 8: kanaya maryam #cheating #nsfwv #nsfwve #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #cagttl so heres the thing about this part of the guide. rosie is a lesbian a lot of the time, right? and shes dating kanny a lot of the time. but the thing is, she aint alwvays. youll find plenty of the blondies vwho are just doing their ovwn thing, yknovw? but kanayas, like... nine times outta ten, theres a rose in the picture. i think theyre a cute couple and all, id lovwe to vwatch, but its wveird howv kannys alwvays an accessory to her. but okay. so vwere talking the kanayas that aint gay, okay? so dont cancel me. i mean, some of em are bicurious, or like, play up their attractions to make the vwhole thing more taboo, and thats gonna be the end of that conwversation. hovw do you pick up this fine gal? wvell for starters, feel free to get touchy. kanayas are the most likely, in my experience, to pull the "ignore him and hope he goes awvay" movwe for like. anything. saying horrid stuff, feeling her up, shell be your toy, its adorable. its vwery likely shell bring up rose, dont vworry about it, if she wvas really bothered shed slap you or something. nowv, kanaya is a classy lady, and her issues aint as easy to poke at as the rest of these gals. or at least, they aint as obwvious? newver seen a kanaya vwith lusus issues, least, not the kind that wve can use. mostly shes lonely and a bit insecure in her relationships. vwhat ivwe found wvorks is buttering her up, complimenting her outfits, she puts a lotta vwork in those, maybe asking her to make you something (ask to get your measurements!). make fun of her crumbling relationship vwith rose if you get the vwibe thats a thing. theres nothing wvrong wvith being a rebound, or ewven a sidepiece! all else fails, get her to touch you, especially if you can get a hand betwveen your legs. a lotta them are closet bulge addicts, some of them only learned that vwhen i taught them. absolutely ravwenous. this is less advwice and more a story, but i gotta givwe a shout out to this one rosie i used to hang wvith. you vwant a kanaya? get vwith a freak rose like this. she wvould outright goad me into messing vwith her kanaya, there wvas some long-distance shit going on, i dunno, but like... i dont ewven knowv if they ewver discussed the arrangement, but kannny lovwed it, rosie lowved hearing about it, and i lovwed texting the blondie vwhile kanny wvas taking care of me. nowv for the ratings bod: alwvays busty, alvways curwvy, its a jade thing i guess. got the elegant look going on too. not exactly her body, but one thing i lovwe about kanayas is her fashion sense. get creatiwve wvith her! if youvwe got one squirming under your touch, ask her to go put on something pretty. chances are, if you can imagine it, itll be in her closet. im bad at that kinda thing but its a damn good time. they all got real pretty lingerie on too, nevwer seen one vwithout something nice and frilly. she takes after porrim in all the best wvays. 10/10 vwariety: hmm... shes usually got the cool and collected thing going on, but the specifics of her relationships differ a lot. i guess thats the thing though, dunno if ivwe ewver met one that wvasnt dating a rose, its wveird. though, maybe thats partially my fault. i guess she can be a lil samey, but wvith a bod like that i can forgivwe her. 6/10 ease: kanayas usually take some doing. evwen if youvwe got her in the palm of your hand she might still make a fuss. its cute and all, but it takes effort to get her to properly put out. 5/10 personality: shes like a fine wvine, an acquired taste. mature, wvilling to banter a bit. i like her wvhen shes not boring. 7/10 owverall: 8/10. newver gonna be upset about finding a maryam. it takes a lil bit of doing to figure out if shell go for you, but if she aint a lesbian shell be a total slut. hot, ready, raring to go, only knock against her is it can be a lotta effort for something youwve seen a million times.
i wwilll. ppretendd to dig.
pr0bably something tw0 be said for the difference between pe0ple who want t0 get grabby and weird with their happily involved 0ther partner, and just a sexual predator. #abuse
donthateimcurious.
Whatisyour function then? :)
cronus amporas guide to the ladies part 5: aradia megido #nsfwv #nsfwve #dubcon #misogyny #abuse #casteplay #hemoism #cagttl rusties. god damn do i lovwe rusties. it aint ewven my fault. theres just something about the povwer dynamic that puts em in heat. if youre a highblood, youre in luck. if not, vwell, at vworst youre equal to a rustie. thisll come up later and it aint just an aradia thing, let alone a megido thing, but its important. also, think im gonna get this outta the vway first. not tagging her or anything, and you shouldnt either. unless? yeah, rankmaid is technically an aradia. havwent actually gotten around to testing her out. from wvhat iwve seen, either you say youll kiss a boy wvhile she sits in the cuck chair, then you tvwo fellas spitroast her (if your balls dont touch and you dont make eye contact then its #notgay) or you just say some real horny shit to her and she goes for it. i think shes the type thats desperate for any sorta attention, just look at that vwhole felt business. your mileage may vwary on all this, like i said, untested. novw onto the real data. aradias are an eclectic bunch. ecletic? lots of different sorts. most basic type is the dress up doll. shes fashionable, shes swveet, she probably wvants to call you sir or daddy. shell giggle at your jokes and get properly flustered from flirting, but she aint a full on b wvord like the roxies. shes kinda hard to pin dovwn, metaphorically anywvays. shell take more shit than most, wvhich is fun, and shell definitely adore being pushed around a bit, wverbally, emotionally, and physically. majority of the time, casteplay stuff wvill wvork. sometimes ill ewven just make stuff up about biology and shell buy into it, lotsa fun. you cant go vwrong vwith the aradia chassis, but theres more complex out there. next wve got the freaks and wveirdos. theyre usually smiling wvide, and if not theyre a ghost, but like, ghostier than the rest of us ghosts? i newver really got it. kinda cold for my taste, literally, but its still pretty hot. these ones are trying to be off-putting. my strat here has alvways been to stonevwall em. they vwanna be creepy? compliment their tits. they say something totally unhinged? smile and nod as you start groping em. throwv em off their game. shes not gonna be used to this, so take adwvantage of it. make her feel beautiful, vwanted, and make it a novwel experience. aradias hawve seen it all, you hawve to be interesting, ewven if theyre off their rhythm. i like to turn up the disrespect on these ones sometimes, treat em more like a doll than the dress up doll aradias. make her understand that no matter hovw quirky and manic pixie or spooky shes trying to be, shes still a sex object at the end of the night. make her melt into wvhat you can giwve her. casteplay can either be your in, or something you pull vwhen its too late for her to back out. gotta giwve a special mention to the bots, of course. for howv many there are, i dont see em that often, but like... vwe all knowv zahhaks are perwverts, right? the bots look fantastic, and if you can grab hold of one long enough for a chat, they aint usually too hard to break. the ones that are gonna givwe you the time of night are basically already sexbots, so treat em like that, they lowve it. objectify em, make em feel useful, maybe slip in a hint that you might see em like a real person, but dont wvorry, they aint. be careful vwith that last bit though, i remember one vwho got like, really really into the utility aspect, the idea that id vwanna keep her evwen though she knevw she vwasnt a person, so like... either vway, make her understand howv much you wvant her. just dont get in the bath vwith her, trust me on this. novw that i think about it, should also mention that aradias might be the most likely gals to go for threesomes. like, theres the time clone stuff obvwiously, if you get one thats really into you she might treat you, but im talking vwith entire other babes. you can get a megido sandwvich, or you might get lil peixes in there, those are the ones i usually land. dont go in hoping for this, but dont let the chance slip by. and to reiterate, for any aradia: youre the highblood here if youre any better than rust. make sure she knovws it. ivwe nevwer met an aradia vwho wvanted to be in control wvho didnt break at the slightest push. maybe dont try vwith the black hole aradia though, shes super horny but also real scary. thats hovw all megidos are but shes the most extreme ivwe seen in both categories (sorry damz </3 ) rating the rustie bod: holy shit her body is crazy. aradias range from slimthicc to full on curvwy and i lowve em for it. they tend to be real sensitiwve too. 10/10 vwariety: theres a vwhole lot you can get from an aradia. some people might get bored of the caste dynamics, but not me. the vweirdos are especially a lotta fun. 10/10 ease: usually all it takes is a push, aradias are nevwer a fight. might hawve a slightly harder time vwith the ghosts, but she makes it vworth it. 9/10 personality: evwen the boring ones are fun because you can put em in their place, and the manic pixie dream girls and the goth ghosts add some spice. i could newver get tired of banting wvith an aradia. 10/10 ovwerall: 10/10. definitely a contender for my fawvorite gal out there in paradox space. fun to squeeze, fun to talk to, fun to put dovwn, fun to pail. rosie is our closest match so far. any aradias out there vwith a lack of self-respect and a thing for highbloods, my dms are thatavway <3 0u0
i heard it vwas #yuriday. nowv i'm not a lesbian (or a girl) but if you ladies had just one look at me you'd see howv beautiful i am and you'd be cured in an instant.
PRESIDENTIAL ALERT A SECOND #DAVEHOUR MAY HIT THE TIMELINE. I REPEAT, A SECOND #DAVEHOUR IS LIKELY TO HIT THE TIMELINE SOON. PLEASE TAKE APPROPRIATE PRECAUTIONS.
tAVROSBOT,,, #bIGiDEAS
Was that so hard? ::::)
I complimented your fish AND insulted that indigo8lood. You 8asically owe me your not-life.
Your chassis is 8uilt like it's from Trolltal Drama Island. I'm not h8ing 8ut I am surprised!
Hold on, I'm arguing with everyone I tagged.
Why did Equius 8uild you like that? @centaursArsenal @centaursPeripherals @centaursTechnician @centaursTesticle @centaursToil @centaurTechnology @aRquiusprite @ca8allineToxophallic I'd tag more 8ut you get the point.
evvery hate fuel2 me,, but evvery liike wweaken2 me..
~SO~rry n~O beating me up t~Onight I'm busy~
Not a good one man.
Ten likes and I'll ask out my crus)( Ten )(ates and I'll ask t)(em out as well Ten of anyfin and I'll do it Yea)( t)(at seems fair
Oh my. I now have such a tasteful treat in my repertoire. Here have a taste of my shenanigans with your perfect gift. [It's an edit, short and quick. Of the blade now looping back and forth. /In and out/, as if instead of just merely inserting it, he's fucking it.] I particularly enjoy this much more. Spank bank material perhaps? #nsfw
#NSFW I'm serious about that NSFW tag, by the way. Don't watch if you don't want to see a sword go up someone's ass. Anyway, Here it is. The moment I'm sure none of you were waiting for. My illicit sex tape showcasing the forbidden union between my ass and my sword. A foam one, thanks to @automatonArisen, who also filmed all of this for your viewing. I was planning to just post a picture, but I had the whole video, so why not just upload the whole fucking video. Never say I don't do anything for y'all. [The video opens with Dirk taking a deep breath, presumably feeling the full weight of his poor decision making skills crash down on him all at once. He's ass naked, save for his ever-present shades, kneeling on the marble bathroom floor. Foam sword in one hand, sink counter in the other. He holds onto both for dear life. Slowly, he moves the "blade" of the faux sword into position, lining it up directly to his asshole. There exists one last second for him to ask himself where it all went wrong, or if this is really what he wants his legacy to be on Chittr, before the sword finally breaches his anus. It enters glacially slow, probably so Dirk doesn't ACTUALLY hurt himself doing this. His hand tightens on the counter as it moves further in, eventually reaching the point where his stomach begins to bulge from how far the sword has traveled. "Shit, okay," Dirk hisses out after a few more painstaking seconds of continuous insertion. "Fuck. I'm done. That's as far as I'm pushing it in." There's still a part of the blade visible near his ass, but he's managed to get it in impressively far. He looks up at the ceiling, taking one last deep breath before pulling the whole thing out. Slowly, obviously. Dirk tosses the sword to the side as soon as it's out of him, holding up a thumbs up to the camera with the hand that previously held its death grip on the sink. Barely a moment later, the video cuts out.]
It has already begun.
If you can get my kult score to 7000, I may turn into love bot for a week.
D--> I am unsure as to how this is surprising. The original aradiabot had similar functions although admittedly it couldn't get pregnant due to the fact I had no concept of pregnancy at the time. I was e%tremely focused on anatomical precision while creating it..
~YO~u underestimate what I can get O~ff tO~ #nsfw~
this deeeeeeeefinitely won’t have any toll on my mental health!
~*husky v~Oice* I want y~Ou~
newv pinned btvw #nsfvw #wverynsfvw #itsbulgefreak
touche soulbot ill shovve them straight up your coinslot