@barackObama — #newpolicy
NEW POLICY: #Trollbamacare now covers bullet wounds.
NEW POLICY! *THIS POLICY HAS BEEN REPEALED. I have voted to accept the phrase “I’m just a girl” as a valid legal defense. This also includes many of its counterparts, including but not limited to; “I’m just a little guy,” “It’s my birthday,” “I was tweaking,” and “Your Honor, you weren’t even there.”
NEW POLICY! Great news! This #Pride, the Gray House is expanding its outreach initiatives. All current Earth-C citizens and residents are now eligible for a monthly stipend of 1,500 Caegars if they are a member of the LGBTQIA*+ community. This policy will be put into effect immediately, and currently has no application deadline. Please note, all applications are processed manually via interns, so a delay of 1-3 minutes may be observed. We here at the Gray House understand times may be tough for some of you, and we want to give back the best we can in order to ensure your wellbeing. Advancements ...Read more
!NEW AMENDMENT to the Matesprit Policy! Beautiful women and/or nonbinary individuals with ugly matesprits are now entitled to financial compensation. NEW CLAUSE: Unfortunately, due to an increase in fraudulent applications, we here at the Gray House are now requiring all individuals to submit proof of their ugly matesprit along with their application. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Thank you
NEW POLICY! This #Pride, we here at the Gray House are proud to announce we are partnering with the TCDC and top medical experts to figure out M!Preg. Research is currently ongoing, but we will keep the public updated with all the latest information. Soon, you WILL be able to get men pregnant. Thank you.
PRESIDENTIAL ALERT: NEW POLICY! I am proud to announce a #NewPolicy due to the beginning of #DroneSeason. All trolls who choose not to participate in Drone Season will NO LONGER be at-risk for being culled. It is completely legal to choose to practice abstinence during this time. You need only fill out the form labeled "NO BITCHES" found on the Gray House website. You may submit it either via drone, mail, or in-person. After the form is submitted, Drones will simply turn a blind eye to your #NSFW activities, or lack thereof. Thank you for your time.