♣ mediated by @broStrider
this reads like an affirmation more than a statement goddamn i need to get up.
texting first is bitch behavior and i wont do it.

Alright. HIC's Chitts are once again getting a little too relatable. It is likely time I retire for the night.

maybe hic was right maybe not all of you guys need to be alive

I once typed “Thank you~” instead of “Thank you!” in an email and I contemplated jumping out of a window. I still might, actually.

I understand.

i got a lil too reel back there so imma log the fuck off until i no longer feel like stabbin myshellf #cw-self-harm

its certainly no scam i can tell you that

he's fucking losing it

You do things!

your hair is gonna turn babyshit green

I take the night off and then the secretary of defense is dead(?)?

Yeah okay he could not have sent this any louder or clearer.

I feel like a comment from myself would only worsen the situation at hand. However, it is difficult for me to sit idly by. My sincerest apologies for my transgressions, and I am confident they will not occur again.

PRESIDENTIAL ANNOUNCEMENT Do not train with Meenah or Meenah variant unless you have a medical team on-call. Thank you, @alarmingApothecary, for your assistance. I was truly unaware what I was walking into. I will also be out of the office for the rest of the day. Thank you. Photo taken by @corallineCataclysm, moments after training ended.

oh wait shit he’s gonna be so mad

@broStrider mb this ones on me fr i lost the plot 38/ i patched him up tho

... Fair point.

i smell a divorce arc comin on

I will kill you to death with a gun.

did i )(it a nerve, trollbama? does t)(e fear of losin it all make your pus)(er pop? mmmm. ive killed wit)( my )(and, but affairs of t)(e )(eart are just as deadly...

Oh great. Take a look and let me know what you think. https://chittr.ing/profile/barackObama/7be271c5-a311-4098-adc7-3d8df2f9b33e https://chittr.ing/profile/broStrider

I knew I was an empath.

... Yeah alright I'm definitely an empath.

... Oops.
I mean, yeah, that tends to be how species works. What’s normal for one is very fucking odd to another. Like the slime.

We don't need oiled up Strider; we got that at home.

Nuh uh.

Life is too short. Ragebait that Strider.

Jack did assist with the idea, but it is one of the scariest things I could think of. Does this count, @dailyQuests?

That is wild.

Congrats I guess.

#MyMan and wiretapping the Oval Office.
₍^. .^₎⟆ Good puppy? ʅ(◞‿◟)ʃ꠹

I would like to amend my previous statement: I encourage you all to use your creativity when hole-digging. Just please for the love of Gog do not use explosive devices.

I SAID YOU COULD DIG A HOLE IN THE GRAY HOUSE LAWN NOT A CRATER.

Anyone who does not have land may dig a hole on the Gray House lawn in order to celebrate #megidomay. You may then return in order to #showhole when appropriate.
i wanna see the striders making out with each other so bad. i just, wanna see them fuck, really badly, like one of my ao3 fics, but irl. maybe like a dozen of them naked sweaty bodies just, going at it in a room together ♥︎ #nsfw; #nsfwe; #incest; #concupiscentanonymously ♠

The more inebriated you get the more fun you have at card games. Everyone knows that.
truest shit ever said my man fistbump

You don’t even need breakfast if you’re pure of heart.

woe me wit)( more talk of violence, strider. youre only so lucky t)(at t)(e only t)(read separatin me and )(im is t)(e ever ep)(emeral veil of paradox space.

I'm walking into oncoming traffic out of embarrassment, #goodbye. #cw-self-harm to be safe

IF BROSEPH KILLS ME ITS IMPORTANT TO KNOW IT WAS DEEPLY HOMOEROTIC

u kno what judgge me 4 my drinkin habits all u want but ervery time i get drunk it doubles as practice 4 work #substance

... Good to know?

mr president have you kissed this man. just curious
D-->???? D-->I... don't believe it's that serious

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Oh dear.

smiles crack like blades in t)(e face of comedy and subterfuge, strider. but ill take t)(e compliment. )(e)(e)(e)(...

Sorry about that.

Apologies, it was necessary.

[ This Chitt has been removed for #NSFW content. ]

[ This Chitt has been removed for #NSFW content. ]
I WISH I HAD NOT. CONGRATULATIONS. —EMBER💥

[ This Chitt has been removed for #NSFW content. ]

I meant that you were present and he was oogling you, sorry for the mix up king.

You're fixing it.

i would like the cabinet memvers to speak at my funeral except for broseph hes done enough of a service to this planet. meenah doesnt have to if she doesnt want to. rankmaid delete the messages

Take all the time you need, please do let me know if there's anything I can do for you.

I hope all is well, Mr. Strider. I did save you a seat if you desire to return.

There is evil in your heart.

what the fuc k??

Goodnight valued constituents. Goodnight Cabinet. Goodnight life-size cutout of Broseph. Goodnight framed photograph of my Secretary of Defense. Goodnight Broseph. Goodnight those off planet. Goodnight th
Let's not lie to e★ch other. It's unbefitting of w★rriors.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Interesting word choice there. "Brobama," huh?

POV: You are in my Cabinet and you just asked me to send clarification on any in-office memo I have ever posted: https://file.garden/acR4O28XdjJpG0lX/chittr%20obamaverse/reaction/i%20just%20made%20some%20bullshit.png

are you okay barack
Its a honor sir.
I bet half of it is from @barackObama

Thanks love you xxx you're the best giving you a raise of a billion million dollars thanks again

Not for long.

I need to be put down.

>> god Tro11bama ¡ડ ડo fuck¡ng r¡ght

im concerned for the president...

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