YOUR GENEROUS CRITIC
@captiousGestures
ALL ROMANCE REVIEWS ARE ON HOLD WHILE I PARTICIPATE IN A ONE WEEK WRITING CHALLENGE.
PRESSING THIS BUTTON IS THE WORST THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO FOR YOUR SANITY. IF THERE'S A VOICE IN YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU TO PRESS THIS BUTTON, TO SEE HOW BAD IT COULD POSSIBLY BE THIS TIME, DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT VOICE. YOU NEED TO KILL THAT VOICE. NOTHING GOOD WILL EVER COME OF PRESSING THIS BUTTON. #VAGUEPOST https://squidgeimages.s3.us-west-002.backblazeb2.com/2026/04/02/Screenshot-2026-04-02-231517.png
Was It Callie’s Account?
oi???
I CAN SAY WITH NINETY-EIGHT PERCENT CERTAINTY THAT THEY WERE NOT REFERRING TO YOU. I'M PRETTY SURE THEY MEAN THE SEADWELLER WHOSE PROFILE PICTURE IS SO SIMILAR TO THEIR OWN THAT IT TOOK ME UNTIL READING THAT COMMENT AND TAKING A BRIEF, CONFUSED SCROLL DOWN THE TIMELINE TO REALIZE THEY ARE, IN FACT, TWO DIFFERENT TROLLS.
OCCASIONALLY I WILL GET THE URGE TO DO SOMETHING EXTREMELY PETTY AND MESSY, BUT THEN I REMEMBER THAT I AM 12 SWEEPS OLD. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I AM INDEED STILL A VERY PETTY TROLL, BUT I DO EXERT THE BARE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF EFFORT NOT TO START USELESS FIGHTS OVER MADE UP PROBLEMS.
At Least There Is No Outward Penalty For Thoughtcrime
WHEN YOU'RE GETTING NEEDLESSLY WORKED UP ABOUT SOMETHING THAT LITERALLY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU, SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO AGGRESSIVELY CHANT "WHO CARES WHO CARES WHO CARES WHO CARES" UNTIL THE MOMENT SAFELY PASSES YOU BY.
IT WOULDN'T BE A WRITING CHALLENGE IF I WASN'T FASHIONABLY LATE ON AT LEAST ONE PROMPT. I'M THROWING THESE TAGS AT THE TOP AS TO NOT CATCH ANYONE TOTALLY OFF GUARD. #VIOLENCE #GORE #ANGST. AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO @twinArmaggetfucked [DAY THREE: WHUMP] A GLOWING WHITE BLUR, STARK AGAINST A BACKGROUND OF VOID. THE GIRL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD, BUT NOW HER BRIGHT AND BURNING GAZE IS BACK ON HIM. IT'S THE SAME LOOK SHE GAVE HIM JUST BEFORE SHE'D DIED. BEFORE HE'D KILLED HER HIMSELF. HE'D DISPATCHED HER SO EASILY THE FIRST TIME. A FLICK OF HIS WRIST. A HOLE IN HER GUT. HE'S TOO SHOCKED TO TRY IT AGAIN. SHE CLOSES THE DISTANCE SO FAST. HIS FEET ARE ANCHORED TO THE GROUND. SHE'S DISARMED HIM BEFORE HE CAN REACT. THERE'S NOTHING BUT OPEN SPACE ALL AROUND THEM, BUT NOWHERE HE CAN RUN. THE ONLY SOUND IN THE WHOLE WORLD IS THE REVVING OF HER CHAINSAW. HE FEELS IT ALMOST SOONER THAN HE HEARS IT. THE CUT ISN'T CLEAN. IT'S NOT LIKE A BLADE. IT'S A RIPPING, TEARING SORT OF WEAPON. EVERYTHING IS LOUD AND EVERYTHING IS WHITE AND EVERYTHING IS BURNING. HE JOLTS UPRIGHT IN HIS RECUPERACOON. HIS HANDS GRASP AT HIS GUT. HIS PUSHER BEATS IN HIS EARS. THE WORLD SPINS AROUND HIM. HE'S IN ONE PIECE. FUCK. HE SINKS BACK INTO THE SLIME. THE SOUND OF THE CHAINSAW STILL ECHOES IN HIS PAN AS HE CLOSES HIS BULBS AGAINST HER AFTERIMAGE. HIS FINGERS FOLLOW THE JAGGED PATH OF THE OLD SCAR. HOW MANY SWEEPS HAVE TO PASS BEFORE TIME DULLS THE MEMORY? HOW MANY DAYMARES WILL LEAVE HIM SWEATING AND SHAKING IN HIS COCOON BEFORE HIS BODY ACCEPTS THAT IT ISN'T IN DANGER? NEARBY, HIS PALMHUSK LIGHTS UP WITH A NOTIFICATION. IT'S SOMETHING STUPID. HE CATCHES THE TIME ON THE SCREEN. IT'S ONLY 2PM. HE GROANS AND KNOCKS THE BACK OF HIS PAN AGAINST THE EDGE OF HIS COCOON. IT SEEMS HE'S IN FOR ANOTHER SLEEPLESS DAY. #ERIDANWEEK #RPF
it's scary h0w g00d y0u are at this. i alm0st felt s0mething.
I Would Encourage It Actually And So Im Going To Interpret This Writing As A Semi Prescriptive Piece Of Work #welldonestranger
I'M GLAD YOU THINK SO. OF EVERYONE WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THIS, YOU WERE THE ONE I WAS MOST WORRIED MIGHT FIND THIS DISTASTEFUL. IT'S A RELIEF TO SEE MY WORRIES WERE UNFOUNDED.
fr0m me? i'm flattered. i didn't kn0w y0u were such a big fan, an0nym0us critic. if y0u want my aut0graph, just say the w0rd.
OH. WOW. AN AUTOGRAPH FROM THE SOLLUX CAPTOR. I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE EVER RECEIVED AN HONOR SO HIGH. EXCUSE ME WHILE I VACATE MY BLADDER IN PURE EUPHORIA. #PISS I GUESS.
You Can Definitely Tell It Does Exist Though However Thats All Ill Say #postingvaguely
I COULDN'T POSSIBLY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, BUT I AM GOING TO RESPECTFULLY DENY ALL ALLEGATIONS.
NO PROGRESS SO FAR ON THE PITCHFIC. I'M TORN BETWEEN TWO OPTIONS, BUT EVERY TIME I TYPE UP A CHIT TRYING TO ASK FOR A SECOND OPINION, I FEEL THE BURN OF BILE RISE FROM MY ACID TRACT INTO MY PROTEIN CHUTE. THIS HAS HAPPENED SIX TIMES. I'LL JUST FLIP A FUCKING CAEGER ABOUT IT.
4s 4 fellow pitchfic 4uthor,,,, i could give you some pointers!!!!
WELL, SEE, I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SCENARIO I WANT TO WRITE. MY OBSTACLE HERE IS DECIDING WHICH OF MY CAST OF TWO I AM MEANT TO PUT IN WHICH ROLE.
YOU SEEM LIKE A GENUINELY NICE TROLL. I WOULD FEEL BAD MAKING YOU AN ACCOMPLICE TO THIS. WHAT I AM WRITING IS X READER RPF FOR THE ERIDANWEEK WRITING CHALLENGE. THE CHARACTERS ARE [READER INSERT] AND ERIDAN AMPORA, AND I NEED TO DECIDED WHO IS PITCHBAITING WHOM INTO PERFORMING AN AGGRESSIVE KABEDON.
4hhhh,,,, i see!!!! person4lly,,,, i think erid4n is more likely to pitch88. he''''s 4lw4ys 8een slimy,,,, underh4nded,,,, 4nd desper8. the 4ver4ge re4der wouldn''''t 8e 48le to comp4re,,,, so it might lower m4ss 4ppe4l if the re4der insert role isn''''t rel848le enough.
THAT IS AN EXCELLENT POINT. I HADN'T CONSIDERED THAT ANGLE. I WAS LEANING TOWARDS THAT ANSWER ANYWAY BECAUSE I ASSUMED THAT MORE PEOPLE WOULD PREFER TO AGGRESS HIM THAN WOULD PREFER TO BE AGGRESSED BY HIM. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ADVICE.
#eridanweek #horror You find yourself in the same cubicle you've worked for the past ten years in. You find yourself alone in the half lit office building. You are the last individual in the building, everyone else has families at home. You gaze at the CRT Monitor displaying its 600 x 400 resolution. You are comforted by the warm hum radiating from its core. You flit your pupils about your digital workspace, resting on the internet explorer icon. You decide to click it, check a few personal emails. You are invited to a website, chittr.ing, it's called. You see it's created by an Alternian. @dynamicFlowfields You see your standard social media fare when you register. You see pictures of friends and foes of old sharing good tidings. You feel a warmth inside. You however, lose that warmth when you notice a small trend. You saw it every dozen posts or so. #imcoming. You chalked it up to an innuendo. You did not register the warning. You look into it a bit more as it begins to populate your feed. You see #eridanweek, your see #bouncingonit. You see no reason to be worried. You let yourself be comfortable once more. You find yourself reading one of Rankmaid's fictive narratives. @archiveAddict You don't let it excite you too much, you're still at work. You don't give #imcoming much more mind. You don't even realize it's already the second day of #eridanweek. You look at the clock, it is midnight. You wet your eyes with eyedrops, ever handy. You can not seem to turn away just yet. You begin to experience Eridan Week vicariously through the posts. You see the likes of humorous, possibly purely jesting, celebrities from Alternia and Beforus. You notice that nearly ever post of Eridan Week includes #imcoming. You notice that #imcoming slowly turns to #ImComing. You are uneasy from the new threat. You look elsewhere, exploring other tags such as #teatime and catching up with others who aren't involved. You see irrelevant posts to Eridan Week even begin to include #imcoming. You begin to see odd images aghast across your dashboard. You begin to see yourself in images you weren't aware of being taken. You see yourself commenting on posts long since past. You did not write these. You keep seeing it. You even begin to post #imcoming in these retroactive oddities. You assume that this is due to someone mimicking your identity. You attempt to steer conversation on the platform away from it. You hastily type up humor, and romantic posts. You are doing anything you can to drown out #ImComing. You notice it is larger now. #IMCOMING. You select the tag, out of sheer curiosity and perhaps a fear for survival. You need to know who is coming. You. You are coming. You scroll endlessly through the tag. You see yourself on every post. You see your own hollow words. You see your notifications begin to shift. You are bombarded, first, a dozen #IMCOMING Responses. You refresh. You see a hundred. You refresh. You see a thousand. You click one. You see yourself. You click another. You see your own account again. You scroll down your feed. You only see your own account. You see your profile picture, stretched, compressed, tortured, reflected in glass. You do not remember seeing yourself like this before. You try to log out. You fail. You try to close the browser. You fail. You try to shut of the monitor. You are tortured by its continued hum. You step away. You notice the lights are long since turned out. You notice the office is even darker than usual. You see the distant lights of other monitors flicker. You notice a rhythm. You notice a heartbeat. You notice it isn't yours. You look back to the screen. You see #ImComing is #ImHere. You do not remember this post. You do not remember thinking it. You see a live feed open itself. You see your grainy, monochrome cubicle in an old video. You see your chair, your desk. You see yourself. You are not looking at the monitor. You are looking at the camera. You see the image distorting as the alternate self begins to move closer. You see it distort the frame. You hear it. You do not have speakers. You hear it under you, or around you. You hear its cacophony of whispers. You hear it gently say, "I'm here." You see the monitor flicker. You see the camera cut out. You monitor briefly turns out as you lean forward. You see yourself in your own reflection, only behind you. You see chittr.ing return. You see a new post. You see @you. You see an image loading slowly. You clench your nails in anticipation as each line slowly creeps into rendering. You see your cubicle again. You notice it is empty. You aren't even there. You see the caption. #IMHERE You feel something breathing on your neck. You stand up to leave. You see its fingers slowly extend past your peripheral vision. You close your eyes. You shouldn't have stayed.
I was unaware of a fellow author-type. If I hadn't already achieved my desired number of individuals to follow, I would consider following them.
I have thought as such, but the primary issue is that the total accounts to follow is currently below that.
THIS IS FANTASTIC, ACTUALLY. BRILLIANT, EVEN. I WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT TO TWIST THE STUPID HASHTAG THAT WAY, BUT IT SEEMS SO OBVIOUS IN HINDSIGHT.
WEIRD. I GOT A FOLLOW FROM AN ACCOUNT WITH YOUR EXACT SAME ICON AND HANDLE FOUR HOURS AGO. MAYBE YOU DO HAVE A FREAK ASS EVIL DOUBLE ON HERE. WATCH OUT, I GUESS.
I ADMIRE THE DEDICATION TO THE BIT. THE GREAT NEWS IS THAT YOU WILL FACE ABSOLUTELY NO INCONVENIENCE AS A RESULT OF THIS DECISION BECAUSE FOLLOWING ACCOUNTS HAS BARELY ANY EFFECT ON ONE'S USER EXPERIENCE HERE.
I am aware, which is why I sought so desperately. Though it DOES inflate your Kult/Kult dramatically. I had made no posts or interactions and went up nearly 1000 points each during the onslaught due to the follow-backs.
@capti0usGestures @archiveAddict what d0es whump even mean?
"WHUMP" IN FANFICTION FOCUSES HEAVILY ON PAIN AND TRAUMA, OFTEN INCLUDING PHYSICAL TRAUMA OR PERILOUS SITUATIONS. IT IS DISTINCT FROM "HURT/COMFORT" AS A GENRE IN THAT THERE IS NO EXPECTATION OF COMFORT.
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PATIENCE. HERE'S THE CUCKOLD BULLSHIT. [DAY TWO: CUCK CHAIR. VOLUNTARILY FEATURING @terminallyCapricious#2753] THE POSITION MIGHT BE AS EMBARRASSING FOR YOU AS IT IS FOR YOUR MATESPRIT. NO, NOT THE CLOWN UNDERNEATH YOU WITH A BRUISING GRIP ON YOUR HIPS. YOUR MATE IS THE VIOLET SITTING A FEW FEET AWAY, FULLY CLOTHED, ROUND EYES DARTING DOWN FROM YOUR FLUSHED FACE TO THE FAT PURPLE BULGE RUTTING ITSELF BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS. YOU CAN'T SEE THE EXPRESSION OF THE TROLL BEHIND YOU, BUT YOU'RE SURE HE'S GOT THE MOST INSUFFERABLE FUCKING SMILE PLASTERED OVER HIS DUMB FACE. INSTEAD, YOU WATCH ERIDAN SQUIRM IN PLACE, THIGHS SQUEEZING TOGETHER AND CLAWS DIGGING INTO THE UPHOLSTERY. "fEeLs GoOd As FuCk…" LONG FINGERS MOVE FROM YOUR HIP TO YOUR BULGE, AND YOU CAN'T HELP BUT TO BUCK UP INTO THEIR LOOSE GRIP. ERIDAN'S EYES ARE DRAWN FROM HIS MATE'S BULGE IN ANOTHER TROLL'S HAND TO A SPOT OVER YOUR SHOULDER, AND YOU CAN GUESS FROM THE SHIFT IN HIS EXPRESSION THAT GAMZEE IS HOLDING EYE CONTACT. "AiN't ThAt ShIt FeEl GoOd FoR yOu, BrOtHeR? bEsT gEt YoUr BeLiEvE oN tHaT i'Ll Be mAkInG yOu FeEl MoRe MoThErFuCkInG bLiSs ThAn ThAt LiTtLe FlUsHfLiNg Of YoUrS eVeR dId." WHATEVER YOU MEANT TO RESPOND WITH, YOUR WORDS CATCH IN YOUR CHUTE AS GAMZEE'S FINGERS DIP INTO YOUR NOOK. THE NOISE YOU MAKE IS PATHETIC, AND ERIDAN'S FINS TWITCH WHEN THEY CATCH IT. HE CAN'T KEEP HIS HAND FROM DROPPING TO HIS LAP TO PALM HIS NEGLECTED BULGE THROUGH HIS PANTS. "ShHiIiT… yOu'Re AlReAdY dRiPpInG fUcKiNg WeT. tHiS cUtE nOoK oF yOuRs Is ReAl ExCiTeD fOr SoMe GoOd PrOpEr AtTeNtIoN. yOuR iTtY bItTy MaTe JuSt IsN't EnOuGh FoR yOu, Is He? WeLl YoU dOn'T gOtTa WoRrY aBoUt ThAt NoW. i'Ll Be SuRe To KeEp YoU sOmE fRiEnDlY cOmPaNy." HIS "FRIENDLY COMPANY" FILLS YOU TO BURSTING AND KNOCKS THE BREATH OUT OF YOUR BELLOWSACS. #IMCOMING #ERIDANWEEK #RPF #ERIDANXREADER #GAMZEEXREADER #NSFW #CUCKOLDRY
i'm sPeEcHlEsS MoThEr fUcKeR.
WELL, THANK YOU FOR MUSTERING UP ALL OF FIVE WORDS TO SAY SO. I'M NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN. YOUR QUIRK IS A PAIN IN THE BULGE TO HAVE TO TYPE IN.
i'm sOrRy bRoThEr i'm jUsT FuCkInG SpEeChLeSs tHaT YoU AcTuAlLy dId iT. sHiT I ThInK I'M GoNnA FrAmE ThIs sHiT On mY HiVe wAlL.
I WOULD MAKE AT LEAST A TOKEN EFFORT TO DISSUADE YOU, BUT YOU CAN DO WHATEVER NONSENSE YOU WANT IN YOUR OWN HIVE. AT LEAST YOU'RE BEING A GOOD SPORT ABOUT IT.
HOW DO I BRIBE MORE TROLLS TO TAKE PART IN THE WRITING CHALLENGE?
WOULD YOU PERSONALLY TAKE MONETARY COMPENSATION TO WRITE APPROXIMATELY 500 WORDS OF ERIDAN AMPORA BEING CUCKED? #NSFW
?isnt it his week? you SHOULd be nice to ERIdAN on #ERIdANWEEK i think
YES. IT IS INDEED #ERIDANWEEK. THAT'S WHAT THE WRITING CHALLENGE IS FOR. AND TODAY'S WRITING PROMPT IS "CUCK CHAIR." #NSFW
ohhhhhhh okay uhm once uPon a time there was a troll NAMEd ERIdAN and he sat on a chair whenever he sat on the chair he WOULd go !UCK! because it hurt to sit in one night someone else TRIEd to sit in his sPecial chair ERIdAN SCREAMEd "NO WWAIT THATS THE UCK CHAIR" but it was too late the STUPId troll HAd sat in the uck chair. CUCKEd by his own chair the Poor SEAdWELLER hung his HEAd in shame ANd dRAGGEd his feet with one last dESPAIRING look back he dIdNT look back in anger though no instead he TURNEd ANd SAId "you knoww wwhat? I'll make my owwn wweek and i wwill call it eridanwweek" ANd thus #ERIdANWEEK was CREATEd .the ENd. #nsfw #ERIdANWEEK #uckchair