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YOUR GENEROUS CRITIC

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@captiousGestures

ERIDANWEEK IS OVER. ROMANCE REVIEWS ARE BACK ON.

Blood: AnonymousAge: Kult Score: 1591Kull Score: 138741 followers44 following
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@captiousGestures[CG]

THE WINNING VIDEO GAME PAIRING, BROUGHT TO YOU BY @turncoatGoathead. #SUPPORTARTISTS #YAOI https://images.squidge.org/images/2026/04/14/sonader.jpg

Kult: +65
Kull: +30
Total: 95
Ratio: 2.17
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@archiveAddict[AA]

@ultimateLifeform

Kult: +5
Total: 5
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@archiveAddict[AA]

KUDOS! ❤︎⁠

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@captiousGestures[CG]

THE NEXT COMMISSION I TAKE OUT, I WILL MAKE SURE TO PROVIDE EXPLICIT INSTRUCTIONS TO THE ARTIST ABOUT YOU BEING TALLER.

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@turncoatGoathead[TG]

my authorial intent was him getting so emotional with lust he had to stand up and push against sonic in tongue battle for hedgehog dominance

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@archiveAddict[AA]

concept: "wwhat do you think you doin im tryin to showwer" eridan 1 slid close behind eridan 2, eridan 2s fins fluttering in humiliation as he flashed his teeth "just let me do this" eridan 1 muttered in annoyance, both of their bodies wet from the water running above them the eridan war had been tough on every eridan and without solace in others theyd begun seeking comfort in each other eridan 2 sighed out a guilty moan, leaning his head back as eridan 1s hands moved over his hips to press him close "and you dont mind if 4 5 6 and 7 are here too right" "wwhat" "yes we are here too" "weve been here the whole time" "keep goin im close" "i call chute" (tags: Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora/Eridan Ampora, #eridanwar, #selfcest, #rankworks, dirty locker room, or barracks i guess, shower pailing, exhibitionism, unmentioned quads, amporaslop, #nsfw, archive rating: M)

Kult: +122
Kull: +77
Total: 199
Ratio: 1.58
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transgender
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@lilShitpeta[LS]

:33< woo go rankmaid... :33< im always gonna be mewre ch33rleadpurr but its so hard right nyow :33< i gotta suppurrt a furiend though so k33p it up girlie mew can do it!!!

Kult: +5
Total: 5
@lilShitpeta[LS]
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@archiveAddict[AA]

ill be cured once the tag trend dies out 0v0"

Kult: +2
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verifiably kitty
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@lilShitpeta[LS]

:33< i believe mew bestie

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@ectoBiologist[EB]

maybe something with pillow forts could brighten the mood? they're warm and intimate! #pillowfort

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𝐸𝓃𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝒽'𝓈 𝒞𝒽𝑜𝓈𝑒𝓃
𝓞𝓷𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓬𝓽 𝓯𝓮𝔀 𝓲𝓷 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓲𝓬𝓮.
@woeGothic[WG]

#imcoming to the #eridanwar

Kult: +5
Total: 5

u only psot bangers

and i didnt evven havve to commission this its beautiful

Kult: +5
Total: 5
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megid00med
has a clear and 0bvi0us type.
@gullibleColumnist[GC]

READ ALL ABOUT IT — [ you have a thing for amporas huh? ]

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@caligulasAquarium[CA]

https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/14628c6f3674.jpg

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Total: 24
Ratio: 2.43
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@captiousGestures[CG]

A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO, I TOOK SOME POLLS TO SEE WHICH PAIRINGS WERE MOST BELOVED BY CHITTR, AND THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO VOTED. IN AN EFFORT TO #SUPPORTARTISTS AND FEED THE HUNGRY FUJOSHI AND FUDANSHI ON CHITTR, I HAVE COMMISSIONED ART OF THE WINNING PAIRINGS. HERE IS THE FIRST OF THESE COMMISSIONS. THANK YOU TO @oleanderSupernova FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL #YAOI. https://images.squidge.org/images/2026/04/13/Troll-sasunaru2.png

Kult: +134
Kull: +102
Total: 236
Ratio: 1.31

YXU. - MC Oleana

WAIT...ARGH!!! NX!!!! DELETE DELETE DELETE WHERE IS THE DELETE BUTTXN THAT MAKES NX SENSE - MC Oleana

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@archiveAddict[AA]

kyaaa oleana-san i had no idea! ^0^

Kult: +15
Total: 15

T-t-thank you Rankmaid-sama it's not.. it's... this isn't my... Forget my face, please. Thank you. - MC Oleana

Kult: +12
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@archiveAddict[AA]

this piece is so beautiful please id love to get a signed copy from the creator you should feel great pride in this fateful piece 0v0

Kult: +15
Total: 15

Thank you. I... talked to the artist and she gave me this. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/ac0e53c244e3.png - MC Oleana

Kult: +7
Total: 7
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Skorpe Systems
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Knotty
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@assistMint[AM]

- Ohhhhhhhh....

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@assistMint[AM]

- I didn't know thiss. She is so talented.

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@caligulasAquarium[CA]

id levvy some form a ridicule your wway but this is a genuinely inspired dedication to the ultimate yaoi couple that stands proud majestic and pure abovve all others from the cloudy peak atop wwhich it rules

Kult: +5
Kull: +5
Total: 10
Ratio: 1.00

Savor this moment because it may be the only time we ever agree on anything. Their compleX and layered rivalry is a narrative so powerful it weathers the ages. - MC Oleana

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@captiousGestures[CG]

IT'S BEEN TWO HOURS. WHY ARE PEOPLE STILL FINDING IT? WHO THE FUCK IS SENDING IT TO THEM? WHY IS MINE THE ONLY LIST ANYONE HAS DECIDED TO TAKE AT FACE FUCKING VALUE? WHAT IF I BLEW ALL OF US UP? #BOMBTHREAT

Kult: +29
Kull: +25
Total: 54
Ratio: 1.16

peØple will take yØu mØre seriØusly if yØu call it a bØmb prØmise.

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@captiousGestures[CG]

YOU'RE RIGHT. THANK YOU. AHEM, "I AM GOING TO BLOW US ALL UP. #BOMBPROMISE"

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@grimAuxiliatrix[GA]

Finding What

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@grimAuxiliatrix[GA]

Actually Never Mind

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@captiousGestures[CG]

THANK FUCK THE SHELF LIFE OF A CHITT NEVER EXCEEDS AN HOUR. IF THIS WAS GOING TO BE MY WHOLE NIGHT, I WOULD HAVE TO BEAT MY NUGBONE INTO A FINE FUCKING PASTE AGAINST THE NEAREST AVAILABLE BRICK WALL. #GORE

Kult: +27
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@gutsyGumshoe[GG]

Why. What happened.

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@gutsyGumshoe[GG]

Oh. I see.

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@captiousGestures[CG]

CAN YOU, LIKE, LOBBY FOR A DELETE BUTTON ON CHITTS? CAN YOU USE YOUR CRAZY INFLUENCE AND SHARED "CEO" STATUS TO PRESSURE CHITTR'S OWNER INTO ADDING A DELETE BUTTON?

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@gutsyGumshoe[GG]

After THAT display of gutting emotional vulnerability? Absolutely not. :B

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@captiousGestures[CG]

IN HINDSIGHT, I TOOK THE COWARD'S WAY OUT OF THE TIERMAKER TREND, BUT I WOULD STILL FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT TO USE THE PROVIDED FORMAT TO RANK THE CREATOR PANTHEON, SO I AM USING THIS FORMAT INSTEAD. https://images.squidge.org/images/2026/04/13/image_2026-04-13_115114010.png

Kult: +171
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Total: 333
Ratio: 1.06
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@captiousGestures[CG]

OH. WOW. THE 30TH COMMENT. WHAT A MILESTONE. I WOULD OFFER YOU A PRIZE, BUT THE TERM "RICHER THAN GOD" BECAME OBSOLETE BECAUSE OF YOU, SPECIFICALLY. YOU CAN HAVE A FORTUNE COOKIE OR SOMETHING, BUT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT IT SAYS.

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@gutsyGumshoe[GG]

Oh boy, the jackpot. I believe the shred of my fate delivered via diminutive paper note reads "HELP! I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!"

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@golgothasTerror[GT]

Why am i there??

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@captiousGestures[CG]

BECAUSE YOUR SPECIFIC BRAND OF "FUCKED IN THE HEAD" MAKES ME WANT TO STRANGLE YOU, NOT CONSOLE YOU.

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@golgothasTerror[GT]

Boy howdy dude from the looks of this here post it seems like you wanna do a whole helluva lot more than strangle. Unless its my chicken youre itching to choke!

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@golgothasTerror[GT]

And i do mean that #nsfw ways. Heh.

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@captiousGestures[CG]

SHUUUUT THE FUCK UP. I'M NOT COMING ONTO ANYBODY. THE TIERLIST HAD *TWENTY* INDIVIDUALS TO SORT BETWEEN *FOUR* CATEGORIES, SO I PICKED THE CLOSEST OR MOST PLAUSIBLE OF THE FOUR AS TO NOT EXCLUDE ANYBODY. I'M NOT TRYING TO DO A DAMN FUCKING THING TO YOUR "CHICKEN". #NSFW

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@golgothasTerror[GT]

Okie dokie! If we were kicking feet and clicking heels in the physical world id slip you a key card with my hotel deets but SUIT yourself.

Kult: +5
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hey

Kult: +2
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@captiousGestures[CG]

I'M GOING TO TRY TO SAY THIS AS GENUINELY AND WITH AS MUCH HELPFUL INTENT AS I CAN SQUEEZE OUT OF MY PUSHER, YOU DON'T WANT TO STICK YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BULLSHIT SITUATION WITH YOUR DEPRESSING ASS ALTERNATE.

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@captiousGestures[CG]

HAPPY "BIRTH" DAY TO MY OFFICIAL CORPORATE SPONSOR @gutsyGumshoe. EVERYTHING I HAVE WRITTEN OR WILL COME TO WRITE ON THIS PAGE HAS THE FULL ENDORSEMENT OF CROCKERCORP, AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT AS FACT. THIS IS NOT A "SELL OUT" IT IS AN ALIGNMENT OF MUTUAL INTERESTS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT, AND HERE'S TO ANOTHER PROSPEROUS YEAR.

Kult: +36
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@gutsyGumshoe[GG]

Much obliged. Keep up the good work.

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@captiousGestures[CG]

#NSFW I GUESS. #LATEONTHETREND https://images.squidge.org/images/2026/04/12/image_2026-04-13_002119851.png

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@captiousGestures[CG]

WELL, HIS NAME IS VICTOR. YURI WAS NOT INCLUDED ON THE LIST.

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@captiousGestures[CG]

HM, LET ME TRY A DIFFERENT STUPID ASS JOKE RESPONSE. "YES, HE WAS FUCKING YURI, BUT IT WOULD BE DANGEROUS TO DO IT ON THE ICE."

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𝐸𝓃𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝒽'𝓈 𝒞𝒽𝑜𝓈𝑒𝓃
𝓞𝓷𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓬𝓽 𝓯𝓮𝔀 𝓲𝓷 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓲𝓬𝓮.
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@handMaid[HM]

HAPPY WRIGGLING DAY. ETERNAL DIVINE EMPRESS @GUTSYGUMSHOE. MAY YOUR REIGN CONTINUE FOR A THOUSAND MORE SWEEPS.

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Total: 36
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@captiousGestures[CG]

THAT'S A WIN FOR SONADOW. FINAL POLL BEFORE THE NUMBER OF USERS ONLINE DIPS TOO LOW TO EVEN BOTHER. <3 - SPIRK <> - DESTIEL <3< - HOUSE X WILSON c3< - JOHNLOCK

Kult: +59
Kull: +65
Total: 124
Ratio: 0.91
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@turncoatGoathead[TG]

alright destiel steamroll these nerds

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@arachnidsGripes[AG]

If House x Wilson doesn't clear, I'm 8om8ing a Chili's.

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@captiousGestures[CG]

TIED FOR SECOND PLACE. MY CONDOLENCES.

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@captiousGestures[CG]

CHILI'S IS SAFE FOR ANOTHER NIGHT.

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@turncoatGoathead[TG]

karkat i think this is it for me

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@captiousGestures[CG]

I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE ME CONFUSED FOR SOMEONE ELSE, *STRANGER I HAVE NEVER MET*.

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@turncoatGoathead[TG]

oh wow youre right my mistake dude i dont know youre nothing like my buddy karkat hes a real asshole with bad breath sorry for the confusion

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@captiousGestures[CG]

SO I'VE HEARD. THAT REALLY DOES SEEM TO BE THE GENERAL CONSENSUS, DOESN'T IT? DON'T WORRY, I WON'T TAKE OFFENSE THIS TIME TO BEING MISTAKEN FOR SUCH A CONTENTIOUS FIGURE.

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@turncoatGoathead[TG]

thanks for the no hard feelings mysterious critic

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@captiousGestures[CG]

OK. SASUNARU CLEARLY SWEPT THE FIRST POLL. HERE'S THE SECOND POLL. <3 - NARUMITSU <> - KOMAHINA <3< - SONADOW c3< - RED X BLUE (POKEMON)

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Total: 55
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@captiousGestures[CG]

TAKING A POLL. <3 - KAWOSHIN <> - SASUNARU <3< - LAWLIGHT c3< - ZOSAN

Kult: +76
Kull: +76
Total: 152
Ratio: 1.00

,,,very obviou$ly,,,the an$wer,,,i$ zo$an,,,

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@captiousGestures[CG]

SO YOU SAY, BUT THE VOTE IS SPREAD PRETTY EVENLY SO FAR.

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@caligulasAquarium[CA]

sasunaru #needthat

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@captiousGestures[CG]

IS THERE A FIFTH OPTION YOU WOULD LIKE TO PENCIL IN AS THE "OTHER" VOTE?

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@captiousGestures[CG]

DO YOU SEE YOURSELF AS SASUKE IN THIS SCENARIO?

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@caligulasAquarium[CA]

yes

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@captiousGestures[CG]

I HAVE MADE NOTE OF THIS FOR FUTURE RPF ENDEAVORS. THANK YOU.

one piece cooL as fuck

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@captiousGestures[CG]

I SPOKE TOO SOON. SASUNARU HAS ALMOST HALF OF THE TOTAL VOTES NOW.

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@caligulasAquarium[CA]

wwait fuck yes noww wwere talkin

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@captiousGestures[CG]

#NOWPLAYING https://open.spotify.com/track/5Qk72xAbHXMzOWL6gS5Gcp

Kult: +5
Total: 5

troll nnitski... save nne.... save nne troll nnitski...............,

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@captiousGestures[CG]

[[LOL LMAO WRONG ACCOUNT BUT IM GONNA ROLL WITH IT

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@captiousGestures[CG]

YES, I TOOK THE TEST. NO, I'M NOT POSTING THE RESULTS.

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@caligulasAquarium[CA]

https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/c18d22db47cb.png https://youtube.com/shorts/Aq3OQrPcVV4Y #eridanwweek #imcoming #bouncingonit #iwwantcandy

Kult: +351
Kull: +217
Total: 568
Ratio: 1.62
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Murder-Go-Round Mofo
Straight up bitchin' Ringmaster of Fight Night.
@mercurialGeloscopy[MG]

(( Holy shit yeah no kidding, could you imagine? 😭😭😭 ))

Kult: +15
Total: 15
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Patron Saint of Rank
This user recognizes #RankBait posts (im)piously.
Fujoshi Pride
A truly rotten girl!
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An elected official of the Party of Earth-C'S Alliance for Citizen Empowerment
Pitch Hearted
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@archiveAddict[AA]

#iwantcandy #bouncingonit #cream? #creamteam? #creamonhim? #idontrememberthatone #eridanweek #imcoming

Kult: +25
Total: 25

:33 < what an incredible spokespurrson!! :33 < #eridanw33k was full of laughter tears and dead people :33 < and the big lesson i have now learned is :33 < is ummm :33 < i guess ampurra is cool? sometimes? :33 < y :33 < yeahhh!! thanks spokespurrson! #icametothisvoice

Kult: +25
Total: 25
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@tipsyGnostalgic[TG]

#WECAME!!!!!!!!!

Kult: +17
Total: 17
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@affableCantor[AC]

i wwish i could rechitt replies

Kult: +15
Total: 15
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@affableCantor[AC]

#creamteam #bouncingonit #cream #wwecame

Kult: +15
Total: 15
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@ardourCorvidae[AC]

Lik£, SO r£al.. #sph£r£soutforbruno

Kult: +15
Total: 15
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This user has gone viral in more than one way.
@freakNasty[FN]

#weCAME

Kult: +5
Total: 5
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𝐸𝓃𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝒽'𝓈 𝒞𝒽𝑜𝓈𝑒𝓃
𝓞𝓷𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓬𝓽 𝓯𝓮𝔀 𝓲𝓷 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓲𝓬𝓮.
Pitch Hearted
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@handMaid[HM]

#ERIDANWEEK WAS A BEAUTIFUL DREAM. WE ALL THOROUGHLY ENJOYED YOUR HUMILIATION. PLEASE DO IT AGAIN SOON. #IMCOMING. #BOUNCINGONIT. #IWANTCANDY.

Kult: +10
Total: 10

WHO'S THIS DOUCHEBAG?

Kult: +5
Total: 5
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@captiousGestures[CG]

IN YOUR OPINION AND/OR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, IF YOU HAD TO PICK JUST TWO QUADRANTS THAT ARE THE *WORST* TO VACILLATE BETWEEN, WHICH TWO QUADRANTS WOULD YOU PICK, AND WHY? IF YOU'RE ANTISOCIAL AND DON'T FEEL LIKE PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE IN THE FORM OF A *CHITTR REPLY*, YOU CAN ALSO USE THE QUAD REACTS TO EXPRESS YOUR OPINION ON THE MATTER, I GUESS.

Kult: +32
Kull: +27
Total: 59
Ratio: 1.19

I would say the most frustr8ting quadrants to vacill8te 8etween would 8e ashen and 8lack. You're already trying to keep two parties from 8ecoming mortal enemies tearing each other apart, it 8ecomes even more of an issue when you find yourself una8le to remain impartial when one of them is genuinely making you want to pull your hair out. I am trying to *help* you and you want to try to shift our relationship towards kismesisitude?? When I have had personal experience with how 8adly you are at managing your own hatred so much that we've entered a quadrant a8out it? It is a new level of antagonism that could lead to further escalation in the ashen quadrant in order to further get a rise out of you from your hateful solicitor.

Kult: +2
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@captiousGestures[CG]

THAT DOES SOUND UNIQUELY AND EXCRUCIATINGLY FRUSTRATING. I HADN'T EVEN CONSIDERED THAT ANGLE. MY SINCERE FUCKING CONDOLENCES TO YOU ON THAT SITUATION. THIS DOES ACTUALLY MAKE ME FEEL SOMEWHAT BETTER ABOUT THE STUPID BULLSHIT I'VE GOTTEN MYSELF INTO.

I'm not saying that I've had personal experience with this. This was just a hypothetical that I am in no way claiming as a real thing I have had actually had to deal with that was an aggravating exercise in restraint. I cannot 8e more clear a8out this point, 8ecause I don't need anyone to interrog8te me a8out any theoretical "quadrant drama" I definitely have not 8een in. If I did, and if it was, yes, I imagine it would 8e an unsatisfactory 8itch of a situation.

Kult: +2
Total: 2
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@captiousGestures[CG]

SURE YEAH, OF COURSE. THAT WAS PRESUMPTUOUS OF ME. ENTIRELY MY BAD.

Kult: +5
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@captiousGestures[CG]

WELL NOW THAT THAT'S OVER, AND IN LIEU OF PROCESSING ANY OF MY PERSONAL FEELINGS ON THE MATTER, OR IN FACT HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH ANY RELEVANT PARTIES, WE ARE BACK ON FOR "MIDNIGHT RAIN."

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@captiousGestures[CG]

I HAD NEARLY RESOLVED MYSELF TO NEVER WRITE FOR THIS TAG AGAIN, BUT @beforianTimes ISSUED A CHALLENGE I COULD NOT REFUSE. THIS QUITE POSSIBLY COULD BE THE LAST ERIDANXREADER YOU GET FROM ME. TRY TO CONTAIN YOUR RELIEF. #LEIJONWRITING #ERIDANWEEK #DAYOFREST #ERIDANXREADR #RPF #SUBSTANCE #YAOI YOU'D ENTERED THIS BAR WITH HIGH EXPECTATIONS. THIS WASN'T THE KIND OF PLACE YOU WOULD USUALLY PATRONIZE, BUT WHEN A HANDSY TEAL TELLS YOU SHE KNOWS THE PERFECT PLACE FOR A RENDEVOUS, YOU GO WHEREVER THE FUCK SHE TELLS YOU. UNFAMILIAR FACES CAME AND WENT, BUT MOSTLY THEY WENT. TROLLS AND HOURS ALIKE PASS YOU BY WHILE YOU SIT CONSPICUOUSLY AT A WOBBLY LITTLE TABLE WITH A GOOD LINE OF SIGHT TO THE ENTRANCE. YOU WERE OVERDRESSED FOR THIS PLACE, WHICH MADE YOU LOOK LIKE EVEN MORE OF A LOSER WHEN YOUR EXPECTED COMPANY NEVER SHOWED. SHE'D ANSWERED THE FIRST COUPLE OF MESSAGES INQUIRING ON HER WELL-BEING OR MAYBE AN ETA WITH ASSURANCE THAT SHE WAS ON HER WAY, JUST UNFORTUNATELY DELAYED. THE THIRD MESSAGE GOT NO RESPONSE, AND YOU NEVER SENT A FOURTH. YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT SOONER. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU DIDN'T ACCEPT AFTER THE FIRST FORTY MINUTES THAT YOU'D BEEN STOOD UP. YOU MAY BE STUPID, BUT YOU'RE NOT FULLY DELUSIONAL. THERE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ANYTHING ANCHORING YOU TO THAT CHAIR, BUT GETTING UP AND WALKING OUT WOULD MAKE THE SHAME AND DEFEAT FEEL THAT MUCH MORE REAL. YOU WANT A DRINK. THE THOUGHT IS ENOUGH TO BREAK YOUR INERTIA AND DRAG YOUR BODY TO THE BAR COUNTER IN THE BACK. IF THE BARTENDER HAS ANY THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR OVERLONG STAY AT YOUR TABLE OR THE MIGRATION YOU'VE FINALLY MADE TO HIS BAR, IT DOESN'T SHOW ON HIS FACE. YOU PREFER THE DISINTEREST. WHATEVER HE GIVES YOU BARELY PASSES AS THE THING YOU HAD ASKED FOR, BUT IT'S CHEAP, AND IT WORKS SERVICEABLY AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR THINKING. YOU DOWN THE FIRST ONE AND NURSE THE SECOND. TURNING OUT THE CONTENTS OF YOUR ACID TRACT WOULD BE ONE HUMILITATION TOO MANY FOR THE NIGHT. WHEN THE STOOL NEXT TO YOU DRAGS NOISILY AGAINST THE CONCRETE FLOOR, YOU DON'T RAISE YOUR BULBS FROM YOUR DRINK. YOU KNOW WHO IT *WON'T* BE, SO IT'S NOT LIKE IT MATTERS WHO IT *IS*. YOU'RE ALLOWED A COUPLE MORE MOMENTS OF SILENT BROODING BEFORE YOU'RE STARTLED OUT OF IT BY TWO FINGERS TRACING A TICKLISH TRAIL DOWN YOUR FOREARM TOWARD YOUR WRIST. YOUR GAZE SNAPS UP TO THE STRANGER SMILING AT YOU FROM THE NEXT SEAT. "so noww youll look at me" YOU YANK YOUR HAND AWAY. "IF YOU WANTED MY ATTENTION THAT BADLY, YOU COULD HAVE JUST SPOKEN UP. CREEP." YOU SEE ANNOYANCE FLICKER OVER HIS FEATURES, BUT HE DISPELLS IT BEFORE IT CAN SETTLE IN. HE SEEMS TO ELECT TO IGNORE YOUR STATEMENT ENTIRELY. "wwill you let me buy you your next one?" HE GESTURES TO YOUR NEAR-EMPTY GLASS. YOU SQUINT AT HIM. "AND IF I SAY ABSOLUTELY THE HELL NOT?" HE RAISES HIS PALMS TO YOU AS IF IN SURRENDER. "then id leavve i just thought it wwas a shame for someone as easy on the bulbs as you to be drinkin all alone" YOU SCOFF AT HIM, BUT ROLL THE IDEA AROUND YOUR PAN FOR A MOMENT NONETHELESS. SURE. WHY NOT. YOU CONCEDE. "WHATEVER. GO AHEAD." HE GETS THE BARTENDER TO BRING YOU BOTH A GLASS OF YOUR SWILL OF CHOICE. YOU'RE SURPRISED TO SEE HIM ORDER THE SAME THING AS YOU. FROM THE RINGS ON HIS FINGERS AND THE HUE OF HIS SIGN, YOU WOULD HAVE ASSUMED HE'D HAVE MORE EXPENSIVE TASTES. IS HE REALLY THAT INVESTED IN WINNING YOUR FAVOR? YOU WATCH, MORE INTERESTED THAN YOU WANT TO BE, AS HE RAISES THE GLASS TO HIS LIPS. HE CAN'T SUPPRESS HIS IMMEDIATE, REFLEXIVE GRIMACE WHEN THE LIQUID REACHES HIS TASTE SPONGE. "HAH!" OF COURSE HE'D HATE IT. YOU DON'T EVEN PARTICULARLY LIKE IT. YOU DO KIND OF ADMIRE HIM FOR TRYING, THOUGH. "youvve really been drinkin this crap all night?" YOU PREFER HIM SPEAKING FRANKLY LIKE THIS TO HIS INITIAL ATTEMPTS AT BEING PLEASANT. "ALL NIGHT IS A BIT OF A STRETCH. I'D HAD ALL OF TWO GLASSES BEFORE YOU BOUGHT THE THIRD." "and i dont knoww howw you persuaded your tract to keep evven that much dowwn" "BECAUSE I'M NOT A FUCKING PRISS." HE NARROWS HIS GAZE AT YOU FOR A MOMENT. HIS BULBS SEARCH YOU FOR SOMETHING. HE MIGHT BE DECIDING IF YOU'RE WORTH IT. THEN HIS STARE RELENTS, HIS POSTURE LOOSENS, AND HE SHRUGS. "it aint prissy its classy" "CLASS? IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?" "wwell wwe dont havve to stay in this sorta place ivve got a much nicer one not too far from here" HE NODS TOWARD THE DOOR. "theyre closin up here anywway its gonna be light sooner than later" HE'S RIGHT ABOUT THAT. WHILE YOU WERE SULKING AT THE BAR, SOMEONE SWEPT THROUGH AND STACKED ALL THE CHAIRS. YOU CAN FEEL THE BARTENDER'S BULBS BORING INTO THE BACK OF YOUR NUGBONE. "you dont seem eager to get back to your owwn hivve but i dont mind showwin you to mine" A BEAT OF SILENCE. "FUCK IT. SURE."

Kult: +25
Kull: +30
Total: 55
Ratio: 0.83
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This user has Chittr Gold™! Did they seriously pay for this? What a chump.
Amporacoin
This user is still holding Amporacoin. Line go ♒︎ #TOTHEMOONS #ERIDANWEEK
Pitch Hearted
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Master of Majyyks
This user has dabbled in the mysteries of the arcane.
@caligulasAquarium[CA]

https://files.catbox.moe/sgbrq2.png

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Yuri Official
This user officially supports Yuri.
@twinArmaggetfucked[TA]

it's a little 0ut 0f character if i'm being h0nest.

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@captiousGestures[CG]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR INPUT. YES, I HAD TO TAKE SOME LIBERTIES HERE. FOR THE PLOT TO REACH ITS INTENDED CONCLUSION, ERIDAN DID HAVE TO BE ABLE TO CONVINCE THE READER INSERT TO LEAVE WITH HIM, SO THE VERSION OF ERIDAN IN THIS FIC BEHAVES HIMSELF BETTER THAN WHICHEVER ERIDAN YOU MIGHT KNOW PERSONALLY.