
YOUR GENEROUS CRITIC
@captiousGestures
ALL ROMANCE REVIEWS ARE ON HOLD WHILE I PARTICIPATE IN A ONE WEEK WRITING CHALLENGE.
THOUGH I HAVE ABSTAINED FROM ATTENDING THE IN-PERSON EVENTS OF #ERIDANWEEK AFTER THE UNFORTUNATE SITUATION I FOUND MYSELF CAUGHT UP IN DURING THE FIRST NIGHT, NOTHING IS QUITE SO VALUABLE TO AN AUTHOR AS LIFE EXPERIENCE. I'VE BEEN PERSONALLY ASSURED THAT EXTRA SAFETY MEASURES ARE BEING IMPLEMENTED IN THE INTEREST OF MAKING SURE EACH EVENT IS MORE EXCITING AND RESULTS IN FEWER CASUALTIES THAN THE LAST. THE RISK I'M TAKING IS CALCULATED, AND HOPEFULLY, I'M NOT THAT BAD AT MATH. #IWANTCANDY
HATE THAT I EVER POSTED THAT AT ALL. RELIEVED THAT CHITTR LITERALLY NEVER EXCEEDS MY EXPECTATIONS. #MYSPHERESARESAFE
LAST DUMBSHIT IMPULSE POST I MAKE BEFORE I LOG THE HELL OFF. IF I WAKE UP TO 1000 KULT (NOT FUCKING HAPPENING), I'LL POST SPHERES.
OCCASIONALLY I WILL GET THE URGE TO DO SOMETHING EXTREMELY PETTY AND MESSY, BUT THEN I REMEMBER THAT I AM 12 SWEEPS OLD. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I AM INDEED STILL A VERY PETTY TROLL, BUT I DO EXERT THE BARE MINIMUM AMOUNT OF EFFORT NOT TO START USELESS FIGHTS OVER MADE UP PROBLEMS.
PRESSING THIS BUTTON IS THE WORST THING YOU COULD POSSIBLY DO FOR YOUR SANITY. IF THERE'S A VOICE IN YOUR HEAD TELLING YOU TO PRESS THIS BUTTON, TO SEE HOW BAD IT COULD POSSIBLY BE THIS TIME, DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT VOICE. YOU NEED TO KILL THAT VOICE. NOTHING GOOD WILL EVER COME OF PRESSING THIS BUTTON. #VAGUEPOST https://squidgeimages.s3.us-west-002.backblazeb2.com/2026/04/02/Screenshot-2026-04-02-231517.png
NO PROGRESS SO FAR ON THE PITCHFIC. I'M TORN BETWEEN TWO OPTIONS, BUT EVERY TIME I TYPE UP A CHIT TRYING TO ASK FOR A SECOND OPINION, I FEEL THE BURN OF BILE RISE FROM MY ACID TRACT INTO MY PROTEIN CHUTE. THIS HAS HAPPENED SIX TIMES. I'LL JUST FLIP A FUCKING CAEGER ABOUT IT.
IT WOULDN'T BE A WRITING CHALLENGE IF I WASN'T FASHIONABLY LATE ON AT LEAST ONE PROMPT. I'M THROWING THESE TAGS AT THE TOP AS TO NOT CATCH ANYONE TOTALLY OFF GUARD. #VIOLENCE #GORE #ANGST. AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO @twinArmaggetfucked [DAY THREE: WHUMP] A GLOWING WHITE BLUR, STARK AGAINST A BACKGROUND OF VOID. THE GIRL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD, BUT NOW HER BRIGHT AND BURNING GAZE IS BACK ON HIM. IT'S THE SAME LOOK SHE GAVE HIM JUST BEFORE SHE'D DIED. BEFORE HE'D KILLED HER HIMSELF. HE'D DISPATCHED HER SO EASILY THE FIRST TIME. A FLICK OF HIS WRIST. A HOLE IN HER GUT. HE'S TOO SHOCKED TO TRY IT AGAIN. SHE CLOSES THE DISTANCE SO FAST. HIS FEET ARE ANCHORED TO THE GROUND. SHE'S DISARMED HIM BEFORE HE CAN REACT. THERE'S NOTHING BUT OPEN SPACE ALL AROUND THEM, BUT NOWHERE HE CAN RUN. THE ONLY SOUND IN THE WHOLE WORLD IS THE REVVING OF HER CHAINSAW. HE FEELS IT ALMOST SOONER THAN HE HEARS IT. THE CUT ISN'T CLEAN. IT'S NOT LIKE A BLADE. IT'S A RIPPING, TEARING SORT OF WEAPON. EVERYTHING IS LOUD AND EVERYTHING IS WHITE AND EVERYTHING IS BURNING. HE JOLTS UPRIGHT IN HIS RECUPERACOON. HIS HANDS GRASP AT HIS GUT. HIS PUSHER BEATS IN HIS EARS. THE WORLD SPINS AROUND HIM. HE'S IN ONE PIECE. FUCK. HE SINKS BACK INTO THE SLIME. THE SOUND OF THE CHAINSAW STILL ECHOES IN HIS PAN AS HE CLOSES HIS BULBS AGAINST HER AFTERIMAGE. HIS FINGERS FOLLOW THE JAGGED PATH OF THE OLD SCAR. HOW MANY SWEEPS HAVE TO PASS BEFORE TIME DULLS THE MEMORY? HOW MANY DAYMARES WILL LEAVE HIM SWEATING AND SHAKING IN HIS COCOON BEFORE HIS BODY ACCEPTS THAT IT ISN'T IN DANGER? NEARBY, HIS PALMHUSK LIGHTS UP WITH A NOTIFICATION. IT'S SOMETHING STUPID. HE CATCHES THE TIME ON THE SCREEN. IT'S ONLY 2PM. HE GROANS AND KNOCKS THE BACK OF HIS PAN AGAINST THE EDGE OF HIS COCOON. IT SEEMS HE'S IN FOR ANOTHER SLEEPLESS DAY. #ERIDANWEEK #RPF
AT ANY ERIDAN STILL READING MY CHITTS EVEN AFTER YESTERNIGHT'S PROMPT, I AM ABOUT TO START WRITING FOR THE "WHUMP" PROMPT, BUT I'M FEELING SIGNIFICANTLY LESS SPITEFUL TONIGHT, SO I WILL LET ONE OF YOU PICK WHICH INSECURITY OR TRAGIC EVENT YOU WILL BE WRITTEN TO BE WALLOWING IN. IF AN ERIDAN FAILS TO SPEAK UP, I WILL BE LETTING SOLLUX DECIDE. #ERIDANWEEK
[[one of the tragedies of a muse who thinks hes anonymous is that i cant have him post selfies. i fucking love making character art for my muses but its also extremely funny to me for him to think hes flying entirely under the radar
AS PREVIOUSLY STATED, YES I VALUE MY ANONYMITY, AND NO SHARING PERSONAL ANECDOTES ABOUT MY LIFE ISN'T CONDUCIVE TO THAT CAUSE. BUT I STILL WANT TO MAKE IT KNOWN THAT THERE'S A GUY IN MY NOTIFS WHO I HAVE PREVIOUSLY OINKBEAST-TIED, OR AT THE VERY LEAST A VERSION OF HIM. GOOD TIMES.
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PATIENCE. HERE'S THE CUCKOLD BULLSHIT. [DAY TWO: CUCK CHAIR. VOLUNTARILY FEATURING @terminallyCapricious#2753] THE POSITION MIGHT BE AS EMBARRASSING FOR YOU AS IT IS FOR YOUR MATESPRIT. NO, NOT THE CLOWN UNDERNEATH YOU WITH A BRUISING GRIP ON YOUR HIPS. YOUR MATE IS THE VIOLET SITTING A FEW FEET AWAY, FULLY CLOTHED, ROUND EYES DARTING DOWN FROM YOUR FLUSHED FACE TO THE FAT PURPLE BULGE RUTTING ITSELF BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS. YOU CAN'T SEE THE EXPRESSION OF THE TROLL BEHIND YOU, BUT YOU'RE SURE HE'S GOT THE MOST INSUFFERABLE FUCKING SMILE PLASTERED OVER HIS DUMB FACE. INSTEAD, YOU WATCH ERIDAN SQUIRM IN PLACE, THIGHS SQUEEZING TOGETHER AND CLAWS DIGGING INTO THE UPHOLSTERY. "fEeLs GoOd As FuCk…" LONG FINGERS MOVE FROM YOUR HIP TO YOUR BULGE, AND YOU CAN'T HELP BUT TO BUCK UP INTO THEIR LOOSE GRIP. ERIDAN'S EYES ARE DRAWN FROM HIS MATE'S BULGE IN ANOTHER TROLL'S HAND TO A SPOT OVER YOUR SHOULDER, AND YOU CAN GUESS FROM THE SHIFT IN HIS EXPRESSION THAT GAMZEE IS HOLDING EYE CONTACT. "AiN't ThAt ShIt FeEl GoOd FoR yOu, BrOtHeR? bEsT gEt YoUr BeLiEvE oN tHaT i'Ll Be mAkInG yOu FeEl MoRe MoThErFuCkInG bLiSs ThAn ThAt LiTtLe FlUsHfLiNg Of YoUrS eVeR dId." WHATEVER YOU MEANT TO RESPOND WITH, YOUR WORDS CATCH IN YOUR CHUTE AS GAMZEE'S FINGERS DIP INTO YOUR NOOK. THE NOISE YOU MAKE IS PATHETIC, AND ERIDAN'S FINS TWITCH WHEN THEY CATCH IT. HE CAN'T KEEP HIS HAND FROM DROPPING TO HIS LAP TO PALM HIS NEGLECTED BULGE THROUGH HIS PANTS. "ShHiIiT… yOu'Re AlReAdY dRiPpInG fUcKiNg WeT. tHiS cUtE nOoK oF yOuRs Is ReAl ExCiTeD fOr SoMe GoOd PrOpEr AtTeNtIoN. yOuR iTtY bItTy MaTe JuSt IsN't EnOuGh FoR yOu, Is He? WeLl YoU dOn'T gOtTa WoRrY aBoUt ThAt NoW. i'Ll Be SuRe To KeEp YoU sOmE fRiEnDlY cOmPaNy." HIS "FRIENDLY COMPANY" FILLS YOU TO BURSTING AND KNOCKS THE BREATH OUT OF YOUR BELLOWSACS. #IMCOMING #ERIDANWEEK #RPF #ERIDANXREADER #GAMZEEXREADER #NSFW #CUCKOLDRY
HOW DO I BRIBE MORE TROLLS TO TAKE PART IN THE WRITING CHALLENGE?
YOU KNOW WHAT, ACTUALLY? I'M SURE I'M NOT THE ONLY TROLL IN A FUCKING MOOD AFTER DAY ONE. IF YOU WANT TO FEATURE AS THE "BULL" CUCKING ERIDAN, I WILL BE TAKING VOLUNTEERS. #ERIDANWEEK #NSFW
DIED AT #ERIDANWEEK. GOT REVIVED. CURRENTLY NURSING THE WORST GODDAMN MIGRAINE THAT HAS EVER PLAGUED A NON-GOLD THINKPAN. THIS IS THE STATE IN WHICH I WILL BE FULFILLING THE CUCK CHAIR PROMPT FOR DAY TWO. SOME OF YOU MAY "CATCH STRAYS." I REFUSE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS. #NSFW
YES #IMCOMING TO #ERIDANWEEK BUT I GREATLY VALUE MY ANONYMITY, SO I WILL SIMPLY BE ANOTHER FACE IN THE CROWD. IF YOU FEEL INCLINED TO TRY TO LOOK FOR ME, DON'T.
I'VE COME TO REALIZE I MISREAD THE CHARACTER LIMIT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE WAS AN EXTRA ZERO? I CAN GENUINELY POST 16K CHARACTERS AT A TIME? I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN TRUSTED WITH THIS POWER, BUT NOW THAT I HAVE, IT WILL BE EVERYONE'S PROBLEM.
[PART TWO] THERE’S ROOM ENOUGH IN THE PILE FOR BOTH OF YOU, BUT JUST BARELY. EVERY SPOT WHERE HIS BODY IS PRESSED TO YOUR OWN FEELS COMFORTING AND COOL, SOOTHING THE HEAT THAT HAD BUILT UP JUST UNDER YOUR SKIN. YOU RESIST THE URGE TO PRESS YOUR BURNING CHEEK TO HIS CHEST. YOU’VE ALREADY DEBASED YOURSELF ENOUGH TONIGHT. “you really shouldnt a run off like that" "WHAT, YOU WANTED ME TO DIG MY HEELS INTO THE GROUND AND DRAG EVERYONE INTO ANOTHER HALF HOUR OF POINTLESS BACK AND FORTH?" "but you wwerent evven wwrong though and you wwould havve heard me tell them as much if youd stayed" YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO THAT, BUT HE SEEMS TO BE ABLE TO HEAR HOW LOUDLY YOU'RE THINKING. "if cant trust me to havve your back then wwhat am i supposed to do you didnt evven come to me yourself i had to come find you" HE'S RIGHT, AND OF COURSE HE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT. "I'M SOR–" "stop i didnt come to get an apology from you i came to make sure youre okay" YOUR TEETH DIG INTO YOUR LIP AS HIS COOL FINGERS WIPE AT YOUR WET CHEEKS. "so are you okay" YOU'RE BETTER NOW THAT HE'S HERE, BUT YOU DON'T TELL HIM THAT. YOU JUST NOD. "good" YOUR EXHAUSTED PAN STARTS TO SLOW AS YOUR MOIRAILS FINGERS COMB THROUGH YOUR HAIR IN CALM, SHORT STROKES. YOUR EYELASHES ARE STILL DAMP, BUT YOUR CHEEKS ARE MORE OR LESS DRY WHEN YOU FINALLY SUCCUMB TO THE URGE TO REST THEM AGAINST HIS CHEST. THE STEADY PUMPING OF HIS PUSHER LULLS YOU THE REST OF THE WAY TO SLEEP. #IMCOMING #ERIDANWEEK #RPF #ERIDANXREADER #PALEROMANCE
[PART ONE] YOU SQUEEZE YOUR GANDERBULBS SHUT, TRYING TO BLINK AWAY THE TEARS BLURRING YOUR VISION. YOU HATE THAT YOU CRY WHEN YOU’RE ANGRY. YOUR BULBS STING FROM THE SALT, AND YOUR WHOLE FACE BURNS FEVERISHLY HOT. YOU DON’T WANT ANYONE TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS, SO YOU HOLE YOURSELF AWAY IN A FAR CORNER OF YOUR UNLIT RESPITEBLOCK. NOT LIKE ANYONE IS COMING TO FIND YOU. NOT AFTER HOW YOU KILLED EVERYONE’S MOOD AND STORMED OFF. STILL, YOU’RE HALF BURIED IN YOUR MOST COMFORTING PILE IN SOME DESPERATE ATTEMPT TO HIDE YOUR SHAME FROM THE WORLD. YOU DON’T SEE THE VERTICAL SLICE OF OFFENDING LIGHT VIOLATE YOUR SAFE HAVEN AS IT SLOWLY GROWS AND QUICKLY SHRINKS, BUT YOU DO HEAR THE CLICK OF YOUR DOOR RETURNING TO ITS RIGHTFULLY SHUT STATE AFTERWARD. INSTINCTIVELY, YOU SHRINK IN ON YOURSELF. IF YOU HAD WANTED TO BE FOUND, YOU WOULDN’T BE HIDING. AS YOUR INTRUDER’S STEPS DRAW CLOSER, YOU CAN FEEL YOURSELF BRISTLING, ANGER COILING UP TIGHTLY, READY TO LASH OUT VIOLENTLY AT ANY SECOND. “are you really hidin after all that?” HIS TONE FALLS SOMEWHERE BETWEEN ANNOYED AND CONCERNED, BUT IT MELTS ALL YOUR TENSION AWAY IMMEDIATELY. YOU LIFT YOURSELF JUST SLIGHTLY OUT OF YOUR PILES SWEET EMBRACE TO TURN YOUR WATERY GAZE ONTO YOUR MOIRAIL. IF ANYONE WAS GOING TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS, AT LEAST IT WAS HIM. #IMCOMING #ERIDANWEEK #RPF #ERIDANXREADER #PALEROMANCE
IN ORDER TO KEEP UP WITH A MUCH TIGHTER #ERIDANWEEK TIMELINE THAN ORIGINALLY ANTICIPATED, I AM PUSHING BACK MY REVIEW OF “MIDNIGHT RAIN” TO PARTICIPATE IN THE WRITING CHALLENGE. AS DEEPLY TALENTED AS @archiveAddict IS, I CANNOT IN GOOD CONSCIENCE ALLOW HER TO CARRY THE WHOLE EVENT ON HER SHOULDERS ALONE. THE PROMPT I PICKED WAS “PALE.” DUE TO CHARACTER RESTRICTIONS, MY SUBMISSION WILL BE POSTED IN TWO PARTS. #IMCOMING
#NOWPLAYING https://open.spotify.com/track/4bJygwUKrRgq1stlNXcgMg















