♥ liked by @cheekyGit
sorry 8oys 8ut my redquad is FILLED !! !! !! I <3 you ice water
holyshit
AGREEING WITH THIS COULDN'T PLACE MY TASTE MUSCLE IN A MORE EXCRUCIATING PAIN IF I STUCK A LITERAL FRAG GRENADE IN MY MOUTH. THIS AND THIS ONLY.
lmao
YOU'RE A DISGUSTING FUCKING SHADOW SENT BY PARADOX SPACE TO TORMENT ME SPECIFICALLY. I MUST DO SOMETHING REALLY FUCKING IRRETRIEVABLY HORRIBLE IN THE FUTURE, OR SOME OTHER TIMELINE, THAT MEANS THAT *I* HAVE TO BE PUNISHED HERE AND NOW BY TALKING TO YOU.
I can wring blood from this stone easy-style. Watch this. A chocolate teapot provides novelty entertainment, at the very least. These guys can't even give us that much, "bruv".
I have 8een moistened
I'm still winning 8tw keep up
none of those words mean anything to me and they all piss me off. make out with me
anyway unrelated 8ut @cheekyGit you're a8out to 8e 8owled under the motherfucking ta8le with how much more I can drink than you
I will not 8e doing my ama for #floridfriday tonight 8ecause I need to go out and hunt for my 8uge first and then I'm going out DRINKINGGGGG
SEND ME UR LOCATION LOSER !! !! !!
twirls my hair
its always 5pm somewhere
wait are they playing slaps in the music video?
likely shit for you to be listening to
fuck now im in a real particular mood im peppa pig this is my little brother george this is mummy pig and this is daddy pig
you should listen to this song on 100% volume at exactly 7am
here you go you geezer @cheekygit 7 am start wheres me fucking tea? im fucking tired you prick im gonna call up mick!!
gonna glass me over the head with a pintglass from a pub thats older than the whole country of america?
OH GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF YOU PUB-ADDICTED BASTARD. SO WE SHARED A MOMENT OVER FISH AND CHIPS, SO FUCKING WHAT?! IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING. YOUR DISGUSTING BREAKTISH BULLSHIT MAKES MY SKIN CRAWL. NO TRUE KARKAT WOULD EVER BE FROM THE ISLES, LET ALONE FUCKING *MANTHRESHTER*. TO PUT IT SIMPLY? I'LL SLAG YOU OFF ANY DAY OF THE WEEK, YOU BLOODY TWAT. BITE ME.
BEHOLD. THE FAMILY PORTRAIT. KINDA. WE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO GET ALL OF US IN THE SAME ROOM. THE GREEN ONE AND I LITERALLY COULDN’T STAND THE STUPID BRITISH FUCK FOR MORE THAN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES. THIS WILL BE THE ONLY PICTURE OF ALL THREE OF US TO PROBABLY EVER EXIST, SO YUCK IT UP.
1’m st1ll add1ng ps1on1c warr1or to my resume
I'M ABOUT TO GO TO 'CUPE BUT IT'S WORTH COMMENTING THAT EVERY SINGLE KARKAT THAT I'VE EVER SEEN ON HERE HAS GONE INTO A PERSONAL RANKING I KEEP. IF I'VE SEEN YOU, YES, EVEN YOU RANDOM KARKAT #827462, YOU ARE SOMEWHERE IN THIS MENTAL CHECKLIST I KEEP OF EVERY VERSION OF ME THAT HAS EVER EXISTED. IF YOU'RE THINKING 'WELL, I'M A PRETTY GREAT KARKAT! I IMAGINE I'M AT THE TOP OF THIS LIST!' I GUARANTEE, YOU FECKLESS, SELF-CENTERED PRICK, YOU ARE WAY, WAY, *WAY* DOWN THE LINE. ALL THIS BEING SAID. @CHEEKYGIT IS THE WORST ONE. RIGHT AT THE BOTTOM. I HOPE HORRORTERRORS FLAY YOU FOR SPORT.
RIGHT. @WALKSTABWALK ASKED ME YESTERDAY WHAT MY LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME IS, AND TO REALLY “GO TO TOWN ON THAT THING”. SO, YOU’RE GETTING IT. YOU’RE ALL GETTING IT, IN FACT. LET’S LOCK IN. ONCE (2006) IS QUITE LITERALLY THE ANTITHESIS ON SERENDIPITY. THAT’S WHY I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH. THIS MOVIE SUCKS COMPLETE ASS AND HAS NO UNDERSTANDING OF HOW THE UNIVERSE ACTUALLY WORKS. AND SO, DEAR DEAR READERS, ALLOW ME TO SCHOOL YOU ON WHY. SO, THE SYNOPSIS: IT OPENS ON A GUY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET AT NIGHT, WAKING HIS NEIGHBORS WITH SOME SCREAM-SING-WAILING, AND A WOMAN APPROACHES HIM ASKING WHETHER HIS SONGS ARE HIS OWN. WE FIND OUT HE’S SOME REPAIR GUY FOR VACUUM CLEANERS. WOW, THIS GUY IS *COOL*. CUT TO THIS GIRL CARRYING A VACUUM CLEANER AROUND THE HIGH STREET LIKE A FUCKING LOON IN HOPES THE GUY WILL FIX IT. WHICH HE DOESN’T. INSTEAD THEY POP INTO A MUSIC STORE, WHERE SHE PLAYS HIM A LITTLE PLINKY PLONKY HORSESHIT ON THE PIANO AND HE GETS ALL INSPIRED AND MUSHY GUSHY AND STARTS PLAYING WITH HER. “I DONT KNOW YOU BUT I WANT YOU ALL THE MORE FOR IT”. PERFECT START TO A BEAUTIFUL SERENDIPITOUS ROMANCE. THEY’RE ON THE BUS AND HE STARTS SINGING ABOUT THIS SHITASS WOMAN THAT CHEATED ON HIM AND THEN LEFT HIM HIGH AND DRY FOR FUCKING CHISWICK (AND MAYBE @CHEEKYGIT WILL KNOW WHERE THIS IS), WHICH IS WHY HE’S “A SUCKER OF A GUY” ON HIS OWN OUT THERE. IT’S HER TURN TO GO MUSHY GUSHY. THEN HE FUCKS IT UP BY ASKING HER TO STAY THE NIGHT. AT LEAST, WE THINK SO UNTIL HE APOLOGIZES ON THE STREET TO HER FACE. REDEMPTION ARC FOR GUITAR GUY. THEY GO BACK TO HER PLACE NOW, WHICH… STRANGE DECISION ON HER PART CONSIDERING YOU WERE JUST ALL MAD AT HIM FOR ASKING YOU TO STAY THE NIGHT BUT OKAY, GO OFF. TURNS OUT SHE’S GOT A WRIGGLER? AND A BIG FAMILY. THIS PART IS SO FUCKING AWKWARD, FUCKING HELL. WHATEVER. THE WORDS THEY EXCHANGE ON THE STOOP ARE MORE IMPORTANT. THEY’RE TRANSACTIONAL. SHE DENIES HIS COMPANY. WHY? SHE’S ALL BENT OUT OF SHAPE AND ACTING ALL FUNNY AFTER THE WHOLE EXCHANGE, TRYING TO FIND BATTERIES FOR HER MUSIC DEVICE AND SINGING THE LYRICS ON THE WALK HOME, “I CANT TELL DREAMS FROM TRUTH” AND “I CAN HARDLY REMEMBER YOUR FACE ANYMORE”. I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN FROM THAT POINT ON THAT IT WAS A SINKING SHIP, BUT ONCE AGAIN MY PUSHER DECEIVES ME, GRINDING MY PSYCHE INTO A BLOODY RAW PULP. THE PATHETIC LAMENTATION OVER HIS EX GIRLFRIEND DRIVES THE NEXT SONG. ALONG WITH A COMPILATION OF HIS OWN MEMORIES. AN OBJECTIVE TEAR JERKER, I WILL GIVE IT THAT. HE DECIDES HE'S GONNA GO GET HIS STUPID GIRLFRIEND WHO CHEATED ON HIM BACK, FOR SOME REASON? WHAT AN IDIOT. BUT HE WANTS TO RECORD HER SINGING BEFORE HE GOES. WE ARE IGNORING THE SOLICITOR SINGING A BAD SONG TO THEM. THEY MEET THESE BUSKERS ON THE STREET, AND THEY ALL END UP AT THIS PARTY FULL OF EXUBERENT, ECCENTRIC ASSHOLES WHO LOVE TO SING AND OUT-DOUCHE EACH OTHER. SOME OF IT IS CRAP, SOME OF IT IS ACTUALLY OKAY. OVERALL, ANOTHER FATEFUL BONDING EXPERIENCE BETWEEN GIRL AND GUY SO THEY CAN FALL EVEN DEEPER FOR EACH OTHER. AND THEN, SHE DROPS THE FUCKING *M-BOMB*. MARRIED. FUCK! AND SHE STILL HAS THE SHAME-GLOBES TO ASK HIM HOW TO TEACH HER HOW TO DRIVE A MOTORBIKE. WHAT A JOKE. THUS BEGINS ANOTHER MUSIC VIDEO WITH A GUY WHO POSSESSES SOME SERIOUS WOOLBEAST CHOPS, AND THEY START RECORDING THIS SONG THE GUY DESPERATELY WANTS TO DO WITH THEIR STUDIO MANAGER WHO IS THE BIGGEST MOST INSUFFERABLE MEGA-DOUCHE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET. “AND I’LL BE AT YOUR DOOR WHEN THERE'S NOTHING WORTH RUNNING FOR. WHEN YOUR MIND IS MADE UP, THERE'S NO POINT TRYING TO CHANGE IT/STOP IT”. COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!!! HE IS PRACTICALLY BEGGING BOTH THIS WOMAN AND HIMSELF TO ACCEPT FATE. OPEN YOUR GANDER BULBS AND LOOK! “YOU MUST HAVE FALLEN FROM THE SKY, YOU NEED SOMEWHERE TO FALL APART”. IT IS LOOKING RIGHT AT YOU. IT IS A KIDDY POOL, TEPID AND INVITING, FILLED WITH BUBBLES AND LITTLE FUCKING RUBBER DUCKS, AND THEYRE ALL STARING UP AT YOU, GOING “PLEASE, HAVE A SWIM”. SHE SHOWS HIM HER SECRET SONG. “AND I'M LETTING MYSELF DOWN BY SATISFYING YOU.” AND NOW SHE’S CRYING. SHE SAYS HE SHOWED HER VAPID SPONGELESS HUSBAND AND HE DIDN’T LIKE IT. SHE RECOMMENDS THEY RUN AWAY, NEVER TO BE FOUND AGAIN. AND IT SEEMS LIKE THEY ARE ABOUT TO TAKE THE LEAP. A FANG-ACHING BEACH COMPILATION, THROWING A FRISBEE LIKE A DOUCHE. HE INVITES HER OVER. WHAT A LOVELY VIGNETTE INTO THE LIVES OF TWO HUMANS WHO SEEMED TO JUST BE IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME. THE STARS ALIGNED, THEY MADE A CONNECTION. OR WAS IT HAPPENSTANCE? SHE NEVER FUCKING SHOWS UP! HE LOOKS ALL OVER FOR HER AND ITS LIKE SHE NEVER EVEN EXISTED. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A COINCIDENCE. BUT THIS MOVIE TAKES ALL OF THAT FATE, ALL OF THAT SWEET, SWEET ALIGNMENT THE UNIVERSE HAS SO GRACIOUSLY PLACED ON THEIR PLATTERS, AND SUCKS IT INTO THE GAPING MAW OF A BLACK HOLE, CRUMPLING IT INTO THE ULTIMATE SINGULARITY. IT WAS SO GODDAMN CLEAR THAT THE TRUE PEOPLE THEY WERE MEANT TO BE WITH WERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER AND YET THEY BOTH JUST FUCKING LEFT TO GO BACK TO THE RESPECTIVE DUMPY DIAPERS THEY CALL MATESPRITS? THAT RIDICULOUS BEACH ROMP WAS A FUCKING SET-UP. THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TOGETHER. THEY WERE MEANT TO TRAIPSE DOWN THIS PATH HOLDING HANDS AND SHITTING OUT BUTTERFLIES, BUT HE LEAVES FOR LONDON AND SHE DROPS OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH TO GO BUY HERSELF A FUCKING PIANO OR WHATEVER AND THEIR PATHS NEVER. CROSS. AGAIN. BUT AT LEAST THEY HAVE THEIR STUPID RECORDINGS ON A CD, RIGHT? I WOULD RATHER LET MYSELF BLEED OUT ON THE UNPOLISHED HARDWOOD OF THIS CABIN FLOOR THAN WATCH THIS TRASH GARBAGE EVER AGAIN. THE DIRECTOR AND SCRIPTWRITERS CLEARLY HAVE NEVER ENLIGHTENED THEMSELVES WITH MY BLOG, OR ELSE THEY WOULD KNOW BETTER THAN TO PROCURE SOMETHING THIS UNINTELLIGENT. A BARKBEAST COULD HAVE SHAT OUT A BETTER CONCEPT OF LOVE THAN THIS. FUCK THIS GUY, FUCK THIS GIRL. GOOD LUCK IN “CHISWICK””!!!!!!
IF THESE SNACKS YOU'RE TOOTING YOUR FUCKTRUMPET ABOUT ARE ABSOLUTE SHIT, IT'S A SCRAP YOU'LL FUCKING GET. DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME, VANTAS I'M NAUSEATED TO CALL A VANTAS. DO NOT DISAPPOINT ME, GERRY GRUBS.
THERE IS NO WAY IN RIME-FROSTED *HELL* THAT I AM GIVING YOU MY TRANSPORTALI*Z*ER COORDINATES. WE CAN DO THIS BY DEAD DROP. SENDING YOU COORDINATES TO AN UNINHABITED CORNER OF THE FUCKING MOON. OUTSIDE OF THE TIME DILATION ZONE. THAT OUGHT TO BE DEAD ENOUGH FOR WHATEVER PANDEAD OVERSEAS GUMMY SLOP YOU'RE SENDING ME.
A MILLION ALTERNIAN CAEGARS TO THE FIRST ONE WHO *BOSHES* A HOLE IN THE SPONGECASE OF THIS WALKING MIGRAINE WITH A PALMHUSK. HOW DO THEY TASTE, THOUGH.
we love em in leather we love em in lace but most of all we love em when they sit on our face waheyyyy #banter
Sadly... #juniorbadgedsomeone
“Yeah give me the I’m a twat who got divorced badge cheers”
DO I HAVE BUG EYES. BE HONEST.
I really do miss her
SEE THAT? ANKLE-MONITOR FREE. WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK. SOMEONE SHOULD BUY ME A DRINK TO CELEBRATE. IN FACT, THERE’S A LOT TO CELEBRATE RIGHT NOW. #FEETFRIDAY BEING ONE OF THEM. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/0CD1B3193E98.PNG ((CREDS TO RATKINGBUFFET ON TUMBLR <3))
And you don't see them on #PlushRump, do you? Quit your bitching. You're fucking up my bag.
FAKE NEWS. YOUR SOFT. WEAK. SMALL. PATHETIC. LIMP. USELESS. DELICATE. BEFORAN. FEM TWINK BODY. IS AS USELESS AS YOUR SAD LITTLE BULGE. NO PRODUCT OF YOUR SILLY LITTLE PLANET. WILL EVER COME CLOSE. TO TOUCHING THE SEARING MIGHT. OF THE GREEN SUN.
IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. SPIT IT OUT. DON'T JUST HMM AT ME. LIKE YOUR GAY LITTLE PRINTER.
SO MANY BEAUTIFUL POSSIBILITIES. I ALMOST DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT REALLY MEANS. PERHAPS YOU WANT TO RIDE MY FACE WITH YOUR NOOK. OR PAIL MY WINDCHUTE. UNTIL YOUR GLOBES HIT MY CHIN. WHO KNOWS. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.
LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING SEA CUCUMBER. #YUCK. HAVE A FRIED SCORPION IN CHILI PASTE. AND MAYBE YOU'LL CALM DOWN.
Oh you're making me hungry for a good chippy now...
what hell are we even saying does this site have a translator function???
IF YOU'RE ALL SHITTING UP MY POST. CAN WE GET @cheekyGit IN HERE TOO. #KARKONKARKONKARKONKARK. #HHHH.
Lik£, totally lik£, too lik£, totally lik£, fucking lik£, right lik£, OMG.
if youre evwer reading smut, check howv they spell color before you get too far in.
MAD BECAUSE YOU ARE PIDDLING SLUDGE?
trolls from across the pond are alvways saying shit like, "oi lovwe, the sight of your crannys got me piddling sludge" and expect you to find that hot. #nsfwv #cwv-the-british
#YUCK.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH GLEE IT BRINGS ME TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT.
I WISH I HAD A WITTY RESPONSE TO THIS, BUT MOSTLY I'M JUST FEELING THE DESPERATE, TROLL-BORN URGE TO KILL RISING UP IN ME FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE I LEFT ALTERNIA.
OH YOU'VE BROKEN ME. PARADOX SPACE FINALLY DID IT. NOT EVEN THE DEATHS OF MY FRIENDS COULD MAKE ME FEEL THE THOROUGH FUCKING DESPAIR THAT LOOKING INTO THE EVENT HORIZON THAT IS YOUR EXISTENCE COULD MAKE ME FEEL. I WATCHED MY CLOSEST FRIEND BE RUN THROUGH THE STOMACH, AND IT DIDN'T INSPIRE EVEN A FRACTION OF THE HORROR THAT FINDING THIS ACCOUNT DID. I'M GONNA GIVE UP. I'M GIVING ALL OF IT UP. I'M GOING TO DONATE ALL OF MY BULLSHIT 'CREATOR' WEALTH TO NEWBORN GRUBS, DISAPPEAR INTO THE WILDERNESS WHERE THEY'LL FIND MY BONES IN 8 SWEEPS AFTER I ACCIDENTALLY ATE A POISONOUS MUSHROOM WITHOUT REALIZING. FUCK YOU.
BEFORE YOU ASK: NO, I DIDN’T FALL IN. HTTPS://CDN.IMGCHEST.COM/FILES/EBAEDEB61489.JPEG