♣ mediated by @gynarchsGoverness
yeah, okay, guess i savw that coming. handmaid vwins! im looking forvward to the photoshoot for next rounds match. novw, up next in the great #cronusbabeoff... wvriska serket up against latula pyrope! wvould you beliewve it wvas really, really tough to find a pic of this duo? it wvas either this (#nsfwv btvw) or one vwhere they wvere shrinkwvrapped skinny. i think i made the right call. <3 or <> for latula <3< or c3< for vwriska
hmm. something oedipal happened here. the gardener, despite all odds, beats out mommy lalonde. smells fishy to me, but the numbers dont like. the next match up... wvho is this? ms. paint? i dont evwen... ah shit, i shouldwve picked the mail lady. vwhatewver. ms. paint! wversus... her imperious coddamn condescension herself. vwhos it gonna be this #cronusbabeoff? <3 or <> for ms. paint <3< or c3< for condy
sorry for the vwait folks. handmaid vwon, yippee! lovwe them megidos. next up, vwevwe got... feferi peixes wversus sootnose songbird. yep. thats the match-up scheduled for this one. #cronusbabeoff <3 or <> for sootnose <3< or c3< for feferi
i just cant stop being right. aradia megido beats off- i mean, beats out nepeta leijon wvith a clear vwictory. aradia movwes on ahead to face her fellowv maid in the next round. hot. #cronusbabeoff #nsfwv next match... i dunno about this one, actually. i vwouldnt evwen knovw vwhere to start wvhen it comes to comparing these twvo gals. terezi pyrope, the nose wvith the most, ovwner of the fabled pyrump, going up against the handmaid, the demoness, the thing that goes "hnn" in the night. novw, i aint planning on @-ing anybody in these, but this is gonna be the exception. one of twvo exceptions. @handmaid youre up buttercup. much as i vwanna smash lil rezi, im throvwing my hat in wvith you. <3 or <> for terezi pyrope <3< or c3< for the handmaid
in an incredible, but not totally unforeseen upset, jane has owvertaken porrim in the #cronusbabeoff, im sure in no small part thanks to her sycophantic goons (more like psychophantic, am i right ladies?) its not just that though, she can absolutely get it, you cant handle allat. porrim is eliminated, jane mowves on! next up, i genuinely havwe no idea vwhich wvay this one wvill go. nepeta leijon, the itty bitty kitty wvho could goes up against aradia megido, subject of chasers evwerywvhere. wvhos it gonna be? wvevwe got slutty examples of both these babes on-site, so im sure there are plenty of good memories thatll inspire some wvotes. #suggestivwe <3 or <> for nepeta leijon <3< or c3< for aradia megido
okay, #cronusbabeoff match concluded. did any of us expect any differently? no one really cares about the olds, despite evweryone saying they go gaga owver milwves. if you sawv the milwves im interested in youd puke. so yeah, redglare out, meenah mowves forwvards! next match! aranea serket vws. the dolorosa! mindfang barely lost out her last match, can her beforan counterpart pull it off wvith that sexy librarian look? or vwill dolorosa of the dolorosa-wvhore complex (i find it quite simple, actually) be able to charm the chitizens wvith her, uhh... stunning personality! vwote belovw, wvhos hot, vwhos not? #suggestivwe <3 or <> for the dolorosa <3< or c3< for aranea serket
okay, ill call it there. another close match in the #cronusbabeoff, but despite getting 8 likes, mindfang is outta the running. sorry babe, call me~ roxy is movwing upwvards and onwvards! next match, vwevwe got the long legs of the lawv, neophyte redglare, up against evweryones favworite wvashboard mini-tyrant, meenah peixes! vwhos hot, vwhos not? wvote belowv! <3 or <> for redglare <3< or c3< for meenah
next up in the #cronusbabeoff bracket! vwe hawve captain mindfang herself, swvashbuckling babe and all around badass, against roxy lalonde, the bottle blonde vwith brains, usually. these tvwo are closely matched, assuming my ancestor scale is accurate, anyvways. lets let it rip, wvhos hotter and vwhos notter? <3 or <> for mindfang <3< or c3< for roxy
i don't give a fuck. I'M KILLING ALL THE FISH AND I'M MAKING BOOTS OUT OF THEIR SKULLS. blood is gonna flow like the mother fucking heretic rivers down the mountain of my mother fucking fury. IT'S OVER FOR THEM. IT'S OVER FISHING AND MY TEETH ARE THE DAMN LOBSTER TRAP.
oH YeAh. #gOrE #nSfWe #ViOlEnCd
aLl fIsH GoTtA DiE. i'm bEiNg dEaD FuCkInG SeRiOuS. iF YoU A FiSh aNd i sEe yOu, I'M ChOkInG YoU OuT UnTiL ThE LiGhT LeAvEs yOuR GlOsSy mOtHeR FuCkInG SaLtY SeEiNg oRgAnS. i'm tEaRiNg iNtO YoUr mOtHeR FuCkInG FaCe lIkE A ReAl hUnGrY BiTcH, i'm cHoMpInG OfF ThOsE FiNs aNd mAkInG ThEm iNtO A NeCkLaCe sO EvErY MoThEr fUcKeR CaN CoWeR In fRoNt oF Me. I'Ma mAkE ThE OcEaN ChUrN WiTh tHe gUtS Of eVeRy fIsH I MoThEr fUcKiNg gEt mY HaNdS On.
I'M GONNA MOTHER FUCKING KILL HER. THEM CROCKER SUITS BETTER OUT ON SOME FUCKING ARMOR BECAUSE I AIN'T STOPPING UNTIL I GOT HER HEAD ON MY WALL.
kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK
i can see it now. I CAN SEE ALL THE DRONES WALKING AROUND. i can see them in their armor they think they are so mother fucking safe. THEY THINK THEIR GUNS ARE GONNA STOP ME. they think just cause she comes back to life that's gonna stop me. I'M GONNA KILL HER TWENTY TIMES IN ONE MOTHER FUCKING HOUR. it ain't gonna be just but it's gonna be what she got coming. AND NEXT I'M COMING FOR THAT SWEATY FUCKING FISH. and i'ma eat my other self like he's a mother fucking sopor pie. AIN'T NOTHING ABOUT IT. i'm tired of typing. I'MA GET OUT OF THESE BUSHES.
i'm coming for you too mother fucker. YOU JUST TYPED YOUR LAST MOTHER FUCKING SMILE.